


Letting You Go

by Emerald_Leaves



Series: Across the Universe [2]
Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, Blood and Gore, Confusion, Drama, Elements of 2003 TMNT, F/M, Feels, Future Sci-Fi Mumbo Jumbo, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I Made Up Alien Stuff, Kidnapping, M/M, Romance, Soap Opera worthy, Torture, Turtle Tots, Turtlecest, War, re-imagined characters, seriously, space travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2018-10-23
Packaged: 2018-12-14 11:16:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 35
Words: 109,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11782023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emerald_Leaves/pseuds/Emerald_Leaves
Summary: Follows the story "Losing Leo"Raphael is gone, leaving Leonardo alone, bitter, and sad. But when his life is completely turned upside down and he is thrown into a world not his own, in order to survive, Leonardo struggles to make sense of his life as it is now, while trying so hard to let go of what he'd once had with Raphael.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Wanna set the mood for this story??? 
> 
> LISTEN TO THIS! --> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qgDrpWWxuto

“Are you all set, then?” the Fugitoid asked the pair, beaming in his own unique android manner.

Raphael nodded, shifting the bag on his shoulder into a more comfortable position while Mona vocally confirmed that they were ready. The two were holding hands. Leonardo tried to ignore it, never having felt so sick in his life.

Unable to hold himself back, Mikey flung his arms around his older brother, crushing Raph in a tight squeeze. “I’m gunna miss you, dude,” he cried, momentarily burying his face into the bigger turtle’s neck.

Instead of blowing up or shoving the younger turtle away, Raphael made an exception and not only allowed the hug, but patted the other’s shell in return. “Aww, don’t worry, Little Brother. Ain’t like it’s the last you’ll ever see me.”

Mikey didn’t respond, simply nuzzled his brother one last time before stepping back. Donnie was next and gave his immediate elder brother a brief hug. “Stay in touch.” Donnie gave a shaky smile. He wasn’t crying like Mike, but looked close. “The new chips I implanted in your T-phone should allow our messages and calls to go through relatively well no matter where you are.”

“Sure,” Raph nodded, before glancing over at Leo. Green eyes didn’t hold, and with an air of embarrassment turned away.

Leo expected nothing else. But he wished for more. A hug. A pat on the shell. A clasping of hands. He got none of it. A nod. A brief nod of the head from his lover was all before Raph turned his attention back to the younger turtles.

“Well, we’re off! See ya guys!” he gave a wave before re-slinging his bag over his shoulder, and after taking Mona’s hand once more, entering the shuttle they would be taking to board the Salamandrian warship. Far too quickly, the shuttle was flying out of the docking bay and zooming towards the other vessel. Just like that, Raphael was gone.

And Leonardo had never felt more betrayed.

“I MISS HIM!” Mikey wailed, clinging to Donnie, who held the younger turtle tight.

“Don’t worry, Mike, you can still text him,” the genius reasoned. “And like he said, it’s not going to be the last time we ever see him.”

It was too much. Unable to stand it, Leo turned and left the bay without looking back. He knew his younger brothers were distressed, could probably use a shoulder to cry on or a pillar of strength to lean upon. But that wasn’t Leonardo. Not right now. Face blank, he managed to make it into the room he and Raphael had been sharing during the journey before completely shattering the moment the doors were closed.

Covering his mouth with his hands lest he be heard, Leo sank to the floor, shell sliding down the door, as he sobbed silently. It was as though someone had cut open his plastron and poured salt over his heart. He burned with bitter sorrow, unable to breathe, unable to function. Instead he sat on the floor, shaking as he wept.

How could this have happened? How could this have all gone so wrong? Why did he have to fall in love with his own brother? His most volatile brother? His cruelest brother?

After crying himself sick, eventually the turtle managed to crawl into Raph’s bed and threw himself down. It wasn’t made, still smelling of their nightly activities. And as Leo buried his nose into the pillow, hugging the blankets to his chest as he continued to sob, he wondered what he could have done differently. How he could have stopped this. Wondered if the pain would ever go away.

There was no use crying, it didn’t help anything. He’d known this day would come, these tears were wasted. Yet in his heart of hearts, somewhere deep down, Leo had always sort of thought – had hoped – that maybe Raphael had felt the same way about him as Leo felt for Raph. They’d never actually defined what they’d had, never said any words of promise out loud, but it had been so _clear_ to Leo. He’d thought Raphael had seen it, too. There were times – so many times! – when the bigger turtle would look at him, warmth and affection shining through those toxic eyes. There were times when he was so considerate, gentle. Like last night. The thought made him cry harder.

What a fool he’d been. A complete and utter _fool_.

This had all started out as some drunk conversation that turned physical, more of a game for Raph. They’d both just let themselves get carried away and fucked that first time. But even in the beginning, it had meant something to the leader. It always had, despite what he’d originally told his brother – told _himself_ – and it always would.

Just for today, Leo promised. He would cry today, would allow himself to be wretched. But tomorrow he would move on with his life. He would walk away from the past and not look back. The future was ahead, and although the way looked bleak, he would weather all that came his way. He had to. Because he still had two brothers, a father, and a sister that needed him.

Curling into himself, Leo laid on the bed, tears still streaming from his eyes, as for just today, he allowed memory to wash over him. Tomorrow he would work to forget.


	2. The New Normal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back on Earth, Leo begins the process of living without Raph.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is for JoinTheWeb, because they counted down the exact days of when I was out of commission, and that made me feel rather guilty. 
> 
> Hope y'all enjoy!

It had been a week since they returned to Earth and over a week since they had let Raphael leave with Mona Lisa. During that time the brothers had a hard time adjusting to having one man gone from not only their team, but their lives. More than once Mikey called out to Raph that breakfast or dinner was ready only to remember the hothead was gone. Donnie often left the lab to peek out into the pit, confused by the lack of noise. With no Raphael there was no one to watch MMA fights, no one to constantly pummel the punching bag, no one to yell at Mikey or argue with Leonardo.

During that first week, Leo tried to carry on as best as he could with Raphael gone, but he felt unsettled, uneven. It was almost like he’d had an arm cut off. The lack of Raph’s presence left a huge, gaping hole in the leader’s life, and he felt lightheaded, couldn’t breathe. That hot, almost overwhelming aura that had been Raphael’s essence was missing. There was no fire. And Leo wasn’t sure how to adapt to the sudden lack of warmth in his life.

While his brothers threw themselves into their hobbies, be it more video games or tinkering on robotics, Leo was left listless. He had nothing to do. Sure, he still trained, meditated, read, and occasionally watched T.V, but he’d never noticed how much of his time a day was actually spent in Raphael’s presence. Whether bickering back and forth, fighting verbally or physically, or even just sitting together watching some terrible movie and making fun of it. Without Raph around, Leo had little desire to actually watch anything, and he couldn’t find many excuses to talk. Master Splinter was busy trying to help Miwa with the Foot problem, Mikey always seemed to be chatting with his online friends over X-Box Live, and Donnie would only get annoyed with conversation as he worked. It had never occurred to Leo just how much he had relied on Raph for simple social interaction.

Left alone, Leo tried to read, but found himself unable to concentrate on the words. He practiced until exhausted, before simply sitting in the dojo under the tree, staring at the leaves as the sun filter through them. Meditation was difficult. Every time he closed his eyes, he would see the face of his beloved brother. It broke his heart all over again.

“Leonardo?”

Looking towards the _shoji_ , Leo found his father immerging from his room. The rat had been on the phone with Miwa for the last few hours. It was surprising he was off so soon. “ _Hai_ , Sensei?”

Splinter walked across the dojo until he was before his son. He knelt down beside the turtle while checking him over covertly. “Are you all right, my son?”

“ _Hai_ , Sensei,” the younger ninja replied with perfect poise.

The master hummed, stroking his beard as he continued to stare at his son. “The absence of your brother seems to be affecting you.”

Stiffening, Leo stared down at the floor. There was no way he could say anything that wouldn’t technically be a lie. And with how his father was studying him, the turtle knew he was trapped into the truth. “… _Hai_ , Sensei,” he murmured.

They fell into a tense silence. It would not have been so tense had Leo been able to explain himself a little better to his father, but he couldn’t. He didn’t trust himself at the moment. Couldn’t chance that he’d make a slip.

“What concerns you, my son?”

 _That Raphael isn’t here with me anymore and I’m alone._ But out loud, he answered hesitantly, “I’m…worried about him, Sensei. I mean, Raph’s going out on a _war_ campaign. What if…what if he gets into trouble?”

“You doubt your brother’s skill?” the rat asked thoughtfully.

“No,” Leo immediately denied. “I know he can take care of himself in a fight…But, I mean, it does depend on the fight. What if he gets stranded from his platoon or something? What if he gets hopelessly out numbered?”

“Ah,” Splinter nodded. “You doubt his companions’ abilities to look after him?”

It sounded pretty mean, hypercritical, but Leo couldn’t deny the truth. “Yes,” he answered honestly.

“I see. Why do you doubt them?”

“Because Raph doesn’t exactly make things easy,” the younger ninja snorted. “I mean, what if he gets mad and storms off on them or something? Will any of them go after him? Will anyone _care_? Will they look out for him? And what about battle? He’s used to working in a small team, with me – his brothers – watching his back. Will those Salamandrians do that?”

He hadn’t meant the word vomit, but once the worries had started to break free, they came flooding out. Because Leonardo was _terrified_ at the thought of losing Raphael and never even knowing it. What if Raph died on this ridiculous war campaign? What if no one told them? How long would it take word to reach them? Would it reach them? Would they ever truly know what happened to him?

Would they think to return his body?

It took every ounce of control he had not to start hyperventilating. Because this was more than a nightmare. This was absolute hell. Everything Leonardo feared rolled into one fucked up mess. But schooling his breathing, he looked down, not wanting to embarrass himself further in front of Sensei than he already had.

There came a careful sigh, which had the turtle peeking up. “Your concern for your brother is admirable, Leonardo,” Splinter began, “but you must have faith in Raphael and his abilities. Trust his judgement. Just as you must trust his companions. While rash at times, your brother is not without intelligence. This is a learning experience for Raphael. Have faith in him.”

This is probably where a lot of his issues with his brother laid. As the oldest, and the leader besides, Leo had a hard time letting go, trusting others with his family. He knew Raph was a capable warrior, but to let him out of his sight? That was hard to swallow. And not just because it meant he’d lost his lover. But thankfully, after only a “ _Hai_ , Sensei,” they switched gears, turning attention towards training.

A few weeks before Raphael was scheduled to leave, Sensei had come to Leonardo with the thought of turning human again. While he really shouldn’t have, Leo had been shocked. The idea of Master Splinter, the father he had only ever known as a giant rat, human? It was absurd! Because even though he’d seen the pictures of his father as a human being, they almost didn’t seem real. That man, that wasn’t his father. That man didn’t even share the same name as his father anymore.

But Sensei was serious, and after listening to his reasons, Leonardo had agreed one hundred percent. Miwa was in desperate need of help and she needed it to be as quiet as possible. As much as Leo wanted to help her, however, his assistance would not necessarily be useful. Right now this wasn’t about fighting physically. This was a very subtle fight, a _human_ fight. And Miwa needed her father, Hamato Yoshi, with her.

With Sensei wishing to turn human again, that meant that leadership amongst the turtles needed to be assured. Splinter was the head of the family, Leonardo was the leader of the group, his other three brothers making up the rest of the clan. But since Sensei would be leaving them, he still wished for a stable household for his children, and since he would be living topside, he had decided to pass on the mantle of clan leader to Leonardo. Not only was he no longer going to be living in the sewers, he would no longer be a mutant. In a way, only a mutant could truly lead another mutant. Once human, he would lose a certain link of understanding between his sons over time.

It was hard to grasp the fact that he would soon be clan leader as well as the leader of the team. Physically, Leonardo knew he was probably ready. He knew just about everything there was about ninjitsu and he’d long ago taken over training his brothers. Since turning sixteen, Sensei had trained him in the art of other weapons. It went much better than that disastrous time when he was fifteen, having forgotten how to use a simple bo. Now at least competent with not only his brothers’ preferred weapons, he’d trained the last three years until he could use pretty much everything in his father’s arsenal. The other weapons he would continue to pick up as he moved along. For now, he had a good jump on his siblings.

What scared him, however, was all the mental…stuff. His father was so wise, able to come up with so many brilliant things to say to them, always able to guide them, nudge them onto the right path without being obvious or overbearing. Not even Raphael could truly resent their father for his quiet meddling. His advice was always sought after and appreciated by everyone. How could Leo measure up to that?

Especially when his own life was just so fucked up?

The stress of all the extra training had been weighing down heavy upon the leader’s shoulders. It was meant to, he supposed. Being the leader wasn’t easy, was never supposed to be. He had to make a lot of hard calls in his time as leader, and sometimes he had to be the bad guy, forcing his brothers into doing things they hated for the greater good. While each intelligent, they were all short sighted, even Donatello half the time. They never really stopped to look at the big picture and relate it back to the present. And because of that failing, Leo had to pick up the slack. For the family. They couldn’t survive in the long run if he got lazy.

But in the past, Master Splinter had always been Leo’s safety-blanket. The one he could fall back on when things got too hard. Without the rat, it would just be Leo, alone and forced to make the truly big decisions for the family. Sensei wouldn’t be there anymore. True, Leo knew he could always call if he needed to, but it wasn’t the same thing. Splinter wouldn’t be right _there_.

There had been a few instances, especially the last few days Raph had still been here, where Leo had almost told his lover about becoming clan leader. The turtle had been Leo’s outlet for all the fear and tension and stress. Those last few weeks had been a last ditch effort on Leo’s part to seduce his brother into staying, showing him exactly what he’d be giving up. But he’d also just…needed Raph. Needed the comfort.

Raphael wasn’t here anymore, however, had decided that he was better off without Leonardo and now the leader was going to have to learn to do things on his own. Truly on his own. And so he threw himself into his lessons, trying to master everything he could. Of course Sensei was patient with him, pushed him along in his advancement, and gave him things to study. While never having formally attended school, the turtle was certain he knew what it was like to feel hopelessly drowning in homework. The feeling of failure crept up on him and the panic of not being good enough clouded his mind.

At Mikey’s jubilant call that pizza had been ordered and arrived, master and student ended their lesson for the day and went out to get something to eat. The minute he was by the door, Leo swore he could smell the scent of burnt cheese from there, and wasn’t quite able to stop himself from scrunching up his nose. Had _Antonio’s_ burned the pizza? That wasn’t like them.

Ignoring the slight roll of his stomach, Leo went into the pit and sat with his family, grabbing a plate and a few slices of pizza. The smell was worse up close. It didn’t _look_ any different than it normally did, but it just smelled…off. Or maybe it was only strong. Glancing up at his family, watching as everyone ate without complaint, the turtle was forced to accept that there was nothing wrong with it. Donnie, being the pickiest of them, wouldn’t eat it if something was wrong. Master Splinter had the best sense of smell of them and he seemed perfectly fine, too.

While the T.V. played and Mikey was chattering away about the episode of…whatever the heck this weird British show was, he and Donnie getting into a friendly debate, the room was noticeably lacking. Something was missing.

 _Raphael_.

Sighing, Leo forced himself to eat a slice of pizza but couldn’t manage the second. He wasn’t hungry, and all he wanted was to get away from the smell. Getting up, dumping his remaining slice back into the box, the leader walked to the kitchen intent on making tea. Jasmine would smell _way_ better than that nasty burnt cheese stench.

As he boiled water and pulled out the tea leaves, Leo’s mind wandered. What was Raphael doing right now? Was he okay? Was Mona watching out for him? While a capable warrior, Raphael did have a tendency to…completely ignore orders. There was no telling what kind of trouble the turtle could get into if he wasn’t watched properly.

 _Have faith in Raph,_ he scolded himself sternly, intent on following his father’s advice. In all honesty, Raph was probably having the time of his life. No stuffy older brother to stifle his movements, all the bad guys he could possibly want to beat the hell out of, and of course, Mona Lisa would be with him every step of the way. The thought turned Leo’s stomach…or was that still the cheese?

The tea kettle whistling brought the turtle from his thoughts and he carefully took it off the stove and poured the boiling water into the pot. As he secured the lid, allowing the leaves to steep, he stared at the counter, mind still stuck on his brother. He had to get over Raph, get over this… _obsession._ It wasn’t healthy, and it wasn’t going to get him anywhere. It had just been a stupid game. Something to pass the time. Nothing more.

Maybe one day Leo would really believe that.

Taking the tea, Leo retired to his room while the rest of the family continued to watch the strange show, even Sensei. For nearly an hour he tried studying, tried to get his mind off of things for a while, with little success. Trapped in his rather barren room, the turtle found his attention captured and held by his T-phone.

With the new chip Donnie had installed it would allow them to text or call Raph rather easily. They could get into contact with him if they wanted. As he stared at the small shell, the overwhelming need to hear his brother’s voice consumed Leonardo. Before he even realized what he was doing, he had his contact list up and had pressed Raph’s name. His thumb hovered over the call button, but he paused, suddenly unsure.

So far Raph hadn’t responded to Don or Mikey whenever they called or texted. It could be that the messages had yet to reach him, or could be that Raph was being kept outrageously busy trying to adjust to life aboard a military ship. Was there a time difference, too? Not wanting to bother his brother, and knowing that his call wouldn’t be welcomed anyway, Leo sighed and pressed back.

He probably should have put the stupid thing down, put it away, but instead, Leo pulled up his pictures on the phone. He didn’t take as many anymore now that he was older, but there were a few. The first one that popped up was a selfie Raph had taken of himself with Leo’s phone. The turtle was making a ‘seductive’ face and had set it as Leo’s background as a joke. Mikey had thought it was hilarious, while Donnie just rolled his eyes. Leo had played up the part of annoyed older brother, but had actually rather liked it. It was a good picture, showcasing all of Raph’s best features from the angle he’d taken it. He’d even managed to show off a well-muscled arm, too. But while he’d had to change his background back to what it had been before, Leo had left the picture in his album. And now here he was, pathetically pining over it like a lovesick school girl.

But even as he sighed in disgust at himself, the turtle continued to look through pictures. There weren’t many of just the two of them, Leo paranoid of one of his younger brothers or friends taking his phone and looking through it. Most of the pictures were group shots of all four of them. But there were a few of just he and Raph, all of them from when they were younger, a little more careless in their game. Suddenly Leo wished he hadn’t been so careful. Wished he’d been able to get a few shots of he and Raph as they were now, to delude himself into believing that what he’d once had was real.

 _Enough_. He was brooding too much. Putting his phone away, Leo turned his attention to his studies. Where it belonged.


	3. Something's Wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo continues to puzzle over his feelings while also noticing that there is something wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Wednesday!

“And _then_ I totally stopped _all_ the bad guys with one mighty swing of my ‘chucks!” Mikey exclaimed with a mouth full of cereal. “It was sporadic!”

Donnie rolled his eyes good naturedly while Leonardo continued to chew his toast carefully. Master Splinter was out with Miwa at the moment, leaving the brothers to themselves. And after just waking up and finishing their group meditation training for the day, Leo had decided to let his brothers have the rest of the ‘morning’ off. They’d resume training later. He wasn’t feeling the best today, and decided on a lighter training day.

“Hmm,” Don decided to play along now that he’d had his coffee. “Sounds pretty unbelievable, Mike. Tell me, how _would_ the Turtle Titan manage to fly overhead and take down a thousand evil ninja warriors anyway?”

“Uh, _duh_ , jetpacks!”

The two continued to debate and bicker as Leo sat listening. The sausage Mikey had fried for breakfast smelled terrible. Worse than terrible. It made the oldest turtle’s stomach roll. Instead of his usual fragrant jasmine, he’d decided on ginger tea to help his unsettled stomach, making sure to keep the cup near so he could smell it instead of the other disgusting breakfast foods Mikey had decided on for their meal.

Listening to his brothers, however, watching their animated play-fight, had him missing Raphael. While his arguments with the hothead weren’t usually as lighthearted as this, there were instances when he and Raph would play-fight. There were times when they’d exchange friendly barbs and jabs with each other. If Raphael was calm and Leo could relax, their fighting could morph into teasing. Something that promised more ‘getting along time’ later, when no one was around.

“Raph would think it’s cool!” Mikey’s cry brought the eldest back from his spacing out. “He was all about Turflidle!”

“Raph _hated_ Turflidle!” Donnie laughed, before taking a sip of his coffee. “But I’ll give it to you that he hated Turflidle less than ‘Maggot Boy’.”

The brothers fell silent after that, Mikey having no real comeback, or at least distracted from say anything. The youngest pulled out his T-phone and stared at it. “You think he’s okay?” he asked softly. “Maybe we should call him again?”

Something pulled at Leo’s heart, and he wondered if the others heard the hitch in his breath. He knew Mike had been texting Raphael, he hadn’t known that he’d been calling, too. But it was obvious that the jerk hadn’t picked up the phone, that he _still_ hadn’t responded to any of the messages. It had been nearly three weeks now since the hothead had left, he _should_ have gotten the messages and responded to them. A part of Leo wondered if there was something wrong, wondered if Raph was in trouble. But remembering how excited he’d been to leave, how hopelessly idiotic he’d looked when around Mona told the leader that their brother wasn’t in danger and couldn’t respond. He was probably too busy showing Mona Lisa everything he’d been practicing on Leo.

A swell of fury and hurt washed over the leader as his mind traitorously brought up images of Raphael and Mona Lisa together. It made everything within the turtle burn with hatred, jealousy, and _pain_. But before he could become overwhelmed, like always, he froze over the fire, hardened his heart, and stored it all away. He could meditate on it later, hopefully work out the kinks before it ate away too much at his soul.

“I wouldn’t bother, Mike,” Leo’s response was neutral as he picked up his tea to take another sip. “He won’t answer. He’s with Mona Lisa now. He’ll get around to getting back with us when he’s bored.”

It was harsh, painting their brother in probably the worst light possible, but somewhere in his heart, the leader knew it was more than likely true. Raphael could be selfish enough, cruel enough to leave his brothers waiting, wondering. While certainly not evil, not a horrible being, Raphael was no saint. He’d always talked about wanting to go it alone, wanting to get out of the sewers and leave his stupid brothers behind. Well he’d gotten his chance and took it at a dead run. That turtle was never coming back.

While Mikey’s expression crumbled, Donnie glared over at the older turtle. “Don’t say that,” he hissed, putting a hand on their baby brother’s arm. “It’s probably just that the chip is so new, it’s still working things out with the system of the T-phone. Or maybe they went somewhere out of range. He’ll get back with us soon, I’m sure.”

Frustrated that he’d upset Mikey, but more frustrated that his younger brothers were setting themselves up to hurt, Leo took another sip of tea, keeping emotion from his face. “Don’t get his hopes up,” he replied coolly. “We all know Raphael doesn’t care to answer right away. He’s out doing what he’s always wanted,” he managed to bite back the bitter ‘and _who_ he’s wanted’. “We may hear from him in several months, but I wouldn’t get your hopes up. He’s gone. We need to accept that and move on.”

The younger turtles were staring at him in shock, but Leo didn’t care. Maybe if they accepted the truth now, it would spare them from even a fraction of the suffering he was going through. He might be making Mikey sad, might offend Donnie, but when Raphael never responded, when he never came back, it would make that hurt a little more bearable. Like a physician, sometimes you had to hurt to heal.

While he continued on with his meager breakfast, it took the other two a moment to compose themselves. And while Mikey wilted in his seat, still staring at his phone, Donnie bristled. “What’s wrong with you?” he snapped. “Just because you don’t care that Raph’s gone, doesn’t give you the right to be a jerk.”

All the air from the older ninja’s lungs came out in a rush, the words striking through to his heart. But unwilling to let them see him fall apart, the leader simply shrugged before grabbing his tea. “I’ll be in the dojo,” he said, pleased that his voice remained steady.

As he left, he heard his brothers whispering back and forth, but by then, Leo was too heartbroken to even pretend to want to know what they were saying. He knew anyway. They were probably reassuring each other that Raph would get back with them soon. Probably saying how terrible of a brother Leo was. Probably wishing Leo had been the one to go and Raph had stayed. At least Raphael could be ‘fun.’

As he slid the _shoji_ shut behind him, a few tears snuck past his guard and fell from his eyes. He ignored them as he carefully walked over to the weight set that his lover had left behind. He almost touched the bench, wanting to run his hands over the leather, but stopped short. It wouldn’t help anything. Wouldn’t bring Raphael back.

Instead he set down his tea and turned his attention to the punching bag. While Raph claimed it, they all used it to work on and refine their skills, even if the meathead used it the most. And since Leo needed to work through all the emotion that was slamming into his brain, drowning him, he began working the bag over. Slowly at first, falling into rhythm, before his movements became a blur.

Something inside the turtle snapped and his motions became less refined, less precise, but intensely brutal. Those damned images of Raphael with Mona Lisa showed up in his head and he began picturing beating the two of them to hell. Punching that smug look off Raphael’s face, kicking Mona Lisa away for staring so soppy at his brother. Everything he felt, all the jealousy, the rage, the hurt, he poured it out onto the bag until all energy was spent.

It felt like he’d only been at it for about ten minutes, but already he was exhausted. Panting harshly, he leaned his forehead against the leather of the bag, grabbing ahold of it from both sides to steady it as well as himself. His muscles were quivering, his head spinning. There were tears streaming from his eyes.

Why had Raph left? The question continued to torment him. Had he really been so bad? Had he really not been enough? While they may not have necessarily had the same chemistry together that Raph and Mona did, Leonardo was certain that Raphael could have come to love him the same way. There were moments, brief blips in time when he’d thought he’d seen love buried deeply within green eyes. He’d thought there was a chance, that there was hope. Leo had tried so hard to draw that out of his brother, had dedicated himself to Raphael solely, carved out his heart and given it to the bigger turtle. But what had happened? Raph had thrown the gift away, stomped on it, kicked it into the dust. And now here was Leo, left in the dirt, bleeding, pathetic.

What had he done wrong? Was there something that he could have done differently to keep Raphael? Should he have been less argumentative? But as leader, Leonardo had to stand his ground, couldn’t give in to the hothead when he could potentially be leading them all into danger. How had Raph not understood that? Hadn’t Leo showed his devotion by giving up that control whenever they were alone?

Did he not give enough? Leo couldn’t think of any way he could have given more. Raphael was the dominate turtle when it came to their time alone. Without hesitation Leo had willingly given up everything, allowed himself to be used and took whatever Raph had wanted to give. Leo had given his brother his body, his heart, his very soul. What more had he been supposed to give? He had _nothing_ else!

A sudden flip of his stomach broke the turtle from his self-tormented musings. Slapping a hand over his mouth, he turned and sprinted out of the dojo and to the bathroom. He managed to shut the door before just making it to the toilet, throwing up. For several long, agonizing minutes he regurgitated his meager breakfast and then the acid in his stomach into the toilet.

A small eternity later saw Leonardo lying on the cold tile of the floor, staring miserably at the base of the toilet, his mind mentally noting that they needed to start cleaning around the bottom better. The shaking from retching gave way to shivering from the cold floor, but Leo didn’t dare move, didn’t dare make a sound. The cold seeping into his bones was probably the only thing keeping him from vomiting again. While miserable being so chilled, at least he wasn’t more miserable throwing up.

When his stomach finally settled, the turtle tentatively shifted, noting that the movement didn’t immediately set him off. Slowly pushing himself up, he managed to lean against the wall, and sat with his knees hiked up. What the shell had that been all about?

 _Shouldn’t work out while I’m upset,_ he thought as he rubbed his rumbling stomach. All those negative emotions seemed to have gotten the better of him. After not feeling the best the last few days or so, all the stress, how emotional he’d been, it was no wonder he’d gotten sick. Adding in such intense physical exertion hadn’t been very smart on his part. Or maybe he was just getting the flu?

Sighing, Leo used the wall to help him stand, and while his head swam, he didn’t feel like he was going to get sick again. Instead he staggered over to the sink and grabbed a towel. After washing his face and rising out his mouth – he wasn’t sure he could handle the taste or smell of toothpaste at the moment – he did feel better. Not great, but not like he was suddenly going to have to stare at the inside of the toilet bowl anymore. Hopefully no one had seen his mad dash to the bathroom. He didn’t want Donnie poking around on him, didn’t want any kind of fussing. If things got worse, he’d go see his brother, but Leo decided that this would likely clear up soon.

Rest. He needed to go lie down. All this not sleeping well was probably catching up to him, too. Added in all the nightmares he usually suffered, he was now tormented with images of Raphael wounded and forgotten on some Godforsaken backwaters planet, left to die. Or getting torn apart by some monstrous creature that Leo had never even seen before.

Rubbing at his head as he walked down the hall to his room, he heard Donnie scolding Mikey from the direction of the lab. Those two were being kept busy at least.

As the leader passed by Raphael’s room, he paused by the door. It had been so tempting lately to go in there, to cuddle up within the sheets and blankets that had once warmed them both, limbs tangled together in sweaty, sticky bliss. But thus far he’d managed to resist. There was no need to go in there. It would only hurt.

Sighing, Leo moved on and went to his room. Shutting and locking the door, he laid down gingerly on the bed before closing his eyes. Just a quick nap and things would be better.

**oOoOoOo**

It had officially been an entire month since Raphael had gone, and Leonardo wasn’t feeling any better. If anything, he felt worse as the days went by.

He felt so tired, pledged with nightmares, and now he was throwing up at random times. A lot of it was right when he got up before he even had breakfast. He’d wake up and have to run to the bathroom. Thankfully the family was still asleep at that time and didn’t notice. Leo even made up an excuse as to why he wasn’t eating breakfast with them anymore. ‘I ate earlier,’ he’d say, ‘and wanted extra time to meditate.’ He couldn’t find it within him to admit that the stench of Mikey’s cooking made him gag.

Sensei had definitely noticed _something_ was up and often probed Leo during their special training sessions together. There were times when the questions were dangerously close to the truth, but Leo refused to answer anything concretely, and usually managed to change the subject into something that consumed his father’s mind, taking all thought of Leonardo’s weird behavior and sadness over Raphael leaving away.

His brothers knew something was up when Leo started eating differently. They asked about it, but Leo just shrugged and said he wanted to start eating better. He didn’t tell them it was because even the thought of the greasier, fried, and heavy stuff they’d been eating lately made him want to hurl. The only things he could even keep down with any success were salads with only a little dressing, vegetables, some fruits that weren’t too citrusy, and well cooked meats without a lot of seasoning to it. Fish, unfortunately, made Leo want to gag on sight, let alone smell. So he was stuck eating plain foods, grateful at least that when he did throw up, the taste wasn’t so bad the second time around.

Patrols were almost a disaster. While thankfully it had been quiet lately, Leo had absolutely no energy. Running more than a few miles winded him, and he couldn’t keep making up excuses to patrol in the Shellraiser. So when they went topside, he split them up, sending Mikey and Donnie one way while he went the other. He was too ashamed to let them see how weak he’d become. He knew his brothers were on to him that something was up, but Leo just didn’t have it in him to admit that he was ill.

That night, after coming home from another awkward patrol, Leo excused himself to go to the dojo to meditate. The thought of lighting incense and candles filled him with dread. His stomach was acting up, rumbling, but he couldn’t _not_ light anything. That would be too weird. So instead, he found the mildest scented things he could and managed to position them so that the smoke and flame weren’t wafting towards him directly. And when he settled and knew he wouldn’t have to run to the bathroom, Leo attempted to center himself.

Part of Sensei’s training was to get Leo to the next stage of meditation. The goal was to become completely aware of himself and his environment. Once he knew himself, he could open up to the rest of the world. The _universe_. While such mastery was usually only accomplish much later in life, after everything Leonardo had been through, his focus and determination saw that it was likely that he become a true master of meditation in several more years. Sensei even predicted before Leonardo reached thirty.

But before he could work on sensing the universe, he would first work on sensing himself. He was determined. Perhaps then if he could know himself it would not only ease his troubled soul, but he would know why he was getting so sick all the time.

Closing his eyes, centering himself, Leonardo plunged into his mind. He found his center in sparkling green orbs.


	4. The Impossible

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April goes to the lair after sensing something is off with Leonardo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone needs an April in their life.

While not exactly claiming to be an ‘expert’ on the turtles, April liked to think that she knew them pretty well. She knew each brothers’ likes, dislikes, and how they’d generally react to any given situation. The four turtles each had their own unique personalities, differing rather drastically from one another. They were their own people and she loved each of them dearly.

But since Raphael had gone away into space, she knew that the remaining three brothers were not taking it very well. Mikey was the most obvious, whining and moping about, constantly checking his T-phone for any news. Donnie was a little more subtle in that he wasn’t obsessive in checking his phone, but April had spotted him doing so often enough, and knew he still sometimes forgot Raph was missing and went searching for him because the silence around the lair was unnatural. Master Splinter, while kept busy helping Miwa with ‘things’ and seemingly distracted at times, was quiet. His son’s absence was hard on the old ninja.

But they were all doing fine. They were working through their grief and emotions. It had only been about a month, after all. They would be okay. They were adjusting. Who really worried April was Leo.

If she hadn’t been psychic, April might have thought the eldest turtle simply didn’t care about his brother’s absence. On the outside Leonardo was composed, collected, _cold_. Whenever Raphael’s name was brought up, any warmth the turtle had been displaying stalled. Leo no longer smiled, didn’t reminisce about his brother like the others, didn’t even say anything remotely kind about him. Instead, if he spoke of Raph at all, it was with a sneer or a disinterested quip. _“Raphael is not going to contact you. You should have realized that by now”_ was the mantra he often spoke to the group if they went out on patrols together. A sentiment that hurt and upset them all.

Everyone was highly offended by the icy remarks and indifference, but April knew better than to take the words at face value. Leonardo was a wonderful actor, but he couldn’t hide from her. Everything he did from his seeming apathy to the roll of the eye told her that he was hurting. More than just hurting. Every time she looked into the leader’s eyes, she saw clear, heart-wrenching _pain_. The bitterness in the turtle’s voice might have been genuine, but the hatred was not. Leonardo missed Raphael. Probably more than anyone else.

That’s why she was currently on her way to the lair. It was early morning, the time when the mutants were usually all asleep, resting up for their big night on patrol. April’s first class had been canceled, and she kept getting this weird feeling whenever she thought of the turtles. Leonardo in particular. Something was up with him, something big. There were these strange vibrations in the air, and she was afraid there was something terrible going on. She needed to check in on her friends, just to make sure they were all okay.

Judging by how quiet the lair was when she got there, April surmised that it was late enough that everyone was truly sleeping. Or were at least in their respective rooms. She couldn’t even hear Donnie still up tinkering in his lab. But instead of the lair aura feeling calm and relaxed, there was a definite, tangible panic in the air. There was something wrong.

Led by the feeling into the kitchen, April found Leonardo seemingly making tea. Both hands were braced on the counter as the water boiled, and she could just make out the nearly intangible trembling across his entire body. As the kettle whistled, she watched the turtle startle before turning off the stove and removing the kettle with shaking hands. Strangely he went out of order and filled a tea pot with hot water first. As he grabbed the tea leaves, he stared down at the tin before setting it aside with a loud, clumsy _clank_.

“Leo?” she called in a near whisper, fearing for her friend.

He didn’t respond. Instead, zombie-like, he sat down at the table without a drink and stared at the wood top blankly. His face might have been blank, but his emotions bombarded the human with their intensity. He was feeling so many negative things all at once that April had no hope of sorting through them. The cacophony was enough to actually give her a headache.

“Leo?” she called again, stepping farther into the kitchen. “Aren’t you making tea?”

Leo didn’t jump. Still staring down at the table, the turtle only began to tremble more visibly. Now the panic was beginning to show in his features, deep and truly frightened. “I-I’m…I’m not sure I c-can drink it. Not if…” He didn’t finish.

A gasp left the older turtle as these strange anxieties caught up to him. Leaning forward, elbows on the table as he grabbed his head, Leo started panting, as if he’d forgotten how to breathe. It was hard to watch, but April had no idea what was going on. With the way he started to sway, she realized he was having a full blown panic attack. As the human rushed over to his aid, lightly touching his shoulder, not quite sure what to do, she realized too late that her presence embarrassed the leader further, and only made him freak out more.

“Shit.” The curse slipped from her mouth before she could think better of it. As she pulled out a chair, the scrapping alerted the panic-stricken turtle that April was still close, but he didn’t dare look away from the wooden top. The kunoichi realized it was the only thing keeping him from completely losing it. “Leo,” she cooed. “Leo it’s okay.”

The leader shook his head furiously. While he said nothing, April could almost hear his thoughts: _It was not okay. It would never be okay again._

“Shh, it’s going to be all right, Leo,” April continued to soothe. “Please…tell me what you need.”

He still said nothing. As much as April wanted to push, wanted to make the turtle talk, she sat still, rubbing her hand over his shell. This was bad. She’d never seen the leader this freaked before. There was definitely something up. Something that had finally pushed the unflappable Fearless Leader over the edge.

“You need to breathe, Leonardo.” The use of his full name caused the turtle to turn towards kunoichi. And when they locked eyes, April saw very real terror as well as a clear connection into his mind. She saw everything. Absolutely floored, but trying not to freak out herself, the psychic attempted to remain composed and get the turtle through this before worrying about anything else.

“Breathe with me,” the human insisted, slowly moving her hands to take Leo’s and pry them off his head where his nails were clawing. Once they were on the table, the kunoichi pulled away and did not touch the leader again. She could sense how immensely grateful he was for that.

“Breathe with me,” April repeated and began counting them through one of the first exercises Sensei had taught her when she began her training.

Putting her all into the count, even pushing aside all the questions that now flooded her mind, it took several minutes before Leo finally started to calm enough that he wasn’t gasping or panting as much anymore. He still felt intensely frightened, still shook, but April could _see_ his heart rate slowing, and a sense of control coming back. The dark pit that attempted to devour him was becoming fainter and fainter, until the leader could lock it away in the back of his mind once more.

“There you go, Leo,” April continued to soothe. “Just keep breathing. Do you…do you want to go to your room?”

Leo shook his head negative.

“Okay, we’ll stay here.” April frowned. “You need anything? Can I get you something?”

Leo took several deep breaths before croaking, “Water?”

April jumped up, causing the leader to flinch back. Cursing herself, she stared down at him apologetically, before walking with deliberate slowness to the sink to fill a cup. She felt Leo’s eyes trailing her, watching closely. It was so odd to see the Fearless Leader of their ninja team in the role of terrified turtle that needed help, but if his panic attack was really about what she thought it was, then it was certainly justified. The last time she’d seen Leonardo get anywhere near this level of freaked was during one fight where Raphael had been trapped in a falling building and they hadn’t been able to find him for several hours. But even then the leader had been more composed than this.

With a full glass, April sat down and carefully scooted it towards Leo as though he were a frightened little animal. It wasn’t all that far from the truth. But slowly taking the glass in both hands, Leo grabbed ahold of the cup and raised it to his lips.

“There you go,” April nodded. “Sip that.”

It took another ten full minutes for the leader to stop breathing so harshly and finally return to any form of normal. By that time the water was gone, and the human still sat with him quietly, as the last of the panic melted away. The inherent terror had retreated.

April wanted to speak, wanted to ask so many questions, but decided to wait until he spoke first. It took another minute or so, but eventually Leonardo took a deep breath, releasing it slowly, before turning to look at his friend. “I-I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“Nothing to be sorry for, Leo,” she cooed, hesitantly placing a hand back on his shell. “Are you all right now?”

A laugh that was half way between a sob and hysterics was barked out. “No,” he rasped, tears shining in his eyes. “I’m not.”

Truly worried by now, April waited to see if he would elaborate, but his lips remained sealed. He started shaking again. “Leo,” she drew his attention, willing him to open up to her. “Please, I want to help you. But I can’t if I don’t know what’s wrong.”

Once more fear blossomed within blue eyes, and he turned away to stare at his hands. April was half afraid he would have another panic attack, but thankfully he swallowed the anxiety. At least a little bit. He was clinging to his sanity by a thread. “I-I can’t,” he whispered.

While frustrating, it was a start. At least he was speaking. If Leo had decided to play the silent card, April knew she wouldn’t be getting anything out of him. But she needed some kind of confirmation, needed to know that what she’d seen in his mind wasn’t just some weird thought or that she’d misinterpreted something.

“Why? It’s all right, Leo. Please tell me. I want to help.” She frowned as he continued to say nothing, the feeling in her gut screaming. “I promise not to tell anyone.”

Several minutes passed before the tears escaped. It was hard to be unaffected by the obvious torment and distress. Tears started to gather in her eyes as well, but she remained strong, knowing he needed her right now, especially for something like this. So she waited until he would either deny her or start talking.

After another minute, her patience was rewarded. “Y-you’re not going t-to believe me.”

How could she not believe him when he was in such obvious distress? Despite now being 99% certain of what she’d seen, she had to keep asking. There could be no room for doubt. “Please tell me, Leo. I want to help,” she repeated.

Quivering, not meeting her compassionate stare, Leonardo shook his head. Knowing that he was starting to slip away, April took his hand, trying her best to show her support. Unexpectedly Leonardo grabbed the hand, clutching it in a death grip. The act might have taken her by surprise had she not already known the depth of his anxiety. She squeezed back as best as she could. “Leo?”

“I-I’ve b-been meditating,” he began quietly, wide eyes glued to the table. “I’ve achieved the next level.” There was a pause, and April struggled with herself not to push, to allow him all the time he needed. And after collecting himself, the turtle swallowed, gathering up his courage. “I-I sensed something.”

April sat forward trying her best to keep her own dread from showing despite her heart thundering in her ears. Trying to hide her discomfort so that the leader wouldn’t sense it, she nodded, hoping her voice remained even. “What was it?”

She needed him to say it, to admit it. But the turtle was so distraught, too frightened to speak anymore. He was shaking so hard she thought he might actually pass out. He couldn’t do this, not alone. While it might not have been necessarily smooth, April understood that her friend was in denial. He needed to face reality, the truth. There was no chance of healing if he didn’t. It would only hurt him more in the long run. So taking a deep breath, she decided to be blunt.

“You’re pregnant.”

Leo snapped his head up and stared at April in horror. His breathing became more ragged as he stared at his human friend, the tears now spilling in earnest. A wave of putrid shame washed over the room, self-loathing, that it stunned April with its intensity. It had all finally become too intense, and he was falling apart before her eyes.

Trying her best not to sound condescending, as this was so disturbing, April knew she had to be gentle in helping Leo work through this, had to make 100% certain that they weren’t simply being dramatic. “Leo,” she began slowly. “I know you’re scared right now, and I know you’re confused, but are you…are you sure?”

“You don’t believe me.” The words came out in a horrified whisper.

Back pedaling as fast as she could, April was sure to cover her tracks. “No! I’m just saying that I know there is something going on. I’ve been sensing some strange things from you lately, and even though I’m not sure how it would be possible…well…you are a guy.”

“I-I know,” he agreed readily, running a hand over the back of his head until it rested on his neck.

Glad to have him at least this far, she continued. “I’m not doubting you,” she reassured, “but I-I guess I’m just unsure how this could happen. Normally to be pregnant you’d need to have had sex with someone.”

Now the pale face went dark as Leo once more refused to make eye contact. Surprised by the information suddenly gained, April felt horrible when she realized she was working through her own shock when Leonardo was still in such a fragile state. _He_ didn’t even know what was going on yet. It wasn’t fair of April to demand answers from him.

Leo started crying harder, head flopping down on the table as he shook. Dismayed, April began patting his shell. It was only after doing this that the whole truth of the situation slapper her rudely in the face. Leonardo had had _sex_. And not just regular kind of sex either. Was he really gay? The thought had never entered her head about the leader. He’d never seemed interested in relationships, not since his crush on Miwa when they’d all been fifteen. And that had been _years_ ago.

There were so few people the ninja trusted, meaning there would be fewer that Leonardo trusted in terms of seeing him vulnerable. Sex was a very vulnerable experience. For both sides. And there was only one person April could think of that had probably seen Leo at his most vulnerable.

“Raphael?” she asked quietly, the clues all fitting neatly together.

The crying intensified, leaving the turtle bawling in his folded arms. “Wh-what am I-I going t-to tell him?” Leo sobbed, staring at April helplessly. “H-he doesn’t a-answer his phone! He’ll h-hate me! More th-than he already does!”

When April had come here today, intent on finding out what was wrong, she hadn’t in a million years expected to unearth this. Not only was Leonardo crying freely, making himself sick, but he was or at least had been in a semi-incestuous gay relationship with his younger brother. No wonder he’d snapped. The stress of the secret must have been driving him crazy. And adding a miraculous pregnancy on top of that?

Taking a deep breath, April knew what she had to do. “He doesn’t hate you, Leo,” she murmured, not quite sure if that was a lie. She’d seen the two before they’d left for space. They hadn’t exactly been on the best of terms. “And I know you’re stressed out, but we shouldn’t jump to extremes –”

He didn’t let her finish, clearly misunderstanding. Now that the ugly truth was out, he was willing to air it. “I get sick,” he stared her straight in the eyes. “Almost e-every evening. Or when I overexert myself. Or when I smell something s-strong. I throw up. I’m always tired, April. _Weak_. I c-can barely go out on patrols without feeling like I’m going to p-pass out. A-and today, when I was meditating…I feel _life_. It’s coming from _me_.”

He was so sure of himself, it only cemented her own feelings. While difficult to believe (the understatement of the century) Leo being able to get pregnant would hardly be the weirdest thing they’d ever dealt with. After facing aliens of all shapes and sizes, fighting evil ninjas, evil ninja _robots_ , mutants of all variety, finding out that her friend was some kind of hermaphrodite or whatever the case may be, shouldn’t have been all that shocking.

Steeling herself, April began making plans. “We have to find out for sure before we do anything drastic,” she declared. Because with something this big, there was no room for any kind of error. “We need proof beyond just our own feelings before you try and contact Raph.”

Blinking in surprise, apparently not having been anticipating anyone believing him so easily, Leo nodded. “How?”

“If we get Donnie –”

“NO.” Blue eyes were once more horrified, on the edge of panic. “H-he can’t know! None of my family can know!”

“But –”

“If this is a false alarm, I don’t want them to know! They can _never_ know about me and Raphael! Please, April.”

The pleading was so very rare the young woman was having a hard time standing up to it. “But what if you _are_?” And they both knew that he was. “They’ll find out, Leo.”

“I’ll tell them then,” Leonardo promised. “Just…just not yet. Please, don’t tell anyone. Not yet.”

Sighing, blowing a strand of red hair from her face, April agreed. “That’ll make this a little trickier. But I think I have an idea.”

While certainly not a doctor, April was taking some advanced chemistry classes, and she had friends on the inside. After taking a blood sample from the panicking turtle – a lesson she’d picked up from Donnie – she promised to find out beyond the shadow of a doubt if Leonardo was really pregnant. It showed how much the usually wary turtle was freaking out that he didn’t stop her or question how she would accomplish this feat, or why she would need his blood.

Promising to have results soon, and seeing to it that her friend was calm enough and settled before daring to leave him alone, April took the blood sample to school that day, intent on cashing in a favor. She prayed that she could really help her friend through all of this.


	5. Moving Forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo grapples with himself and coming to terms with how his life will change. Mikey is a ball of sunshine~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember! Reviews make happy authors. Happy authors are benevolent authors. Benevolent authors are productive authors. Productive authors post sooner~ :)

He couldn’t believe April had known, nor that he’d actually admitted to everything. Leo hadn’t meant to. _Really_. He hadn’t wanted to say anything to anyone about any of this. But of all the friends he could have talked about this to, April was probably the best choice. She was obviously the most understanding of his friends.

When she left that morning, Leo had locked himself up in his room, attempting to sleep. He couldn’t. Worried about what she thought of him, if this was really happening, and what Raphael would do if it was true slowly ate him alive. It was so hard to think, to wonder if he would really have to do this alone, that the turtle eventually gave into temptation and went into his lover’s room in an attempt to find peace. Ensconced within, he burying himself under the covers. Being surrounded by Raphael’s scent was both soothing and heartbreaking. Leo ended up crying himself to sleep.

When he woke again, it was well past the time he should have gotten up and nearing their normal training time. But since Sensei was with Miwa for a few days, and neither Donnie nor Mikey would get up on their own unless dragged out of bed, the leader was safe from discovery. He ended up laying still for several minutes in Raph’s bed before forcing himself to get ready.

He felt heavy, sluggish, and his stomach churned. For the first few moments he attempted to will the sick feeling away, but it overpowered him in the end. Stumbling out of the room and rushing towards the bathroom, he made it just in time to empty his stomach. Despite having a working theory as to why this was happening, knowing perfectly well he couldn’t help it, Leonardo was still embarrassed and angry with himself. Did he _have_ to do this nearly every time he woke up? Why couldn’t he control his body better?

When the retching stopped and the dry heaving began, the exhaustion to follow was so common now that he didn’t even worry about it much anymore. Managing to flush the toilet with shaking fingers, he leaned against the cold cement wall, as had become custom. Sitting back breathing, counting down the minutes internally, when five passed and he didn’t start in another round of vomiting, the leader pushed himself up carefully on wobbly legs before going to wash his mouth out. He’d actually brush his teeth later when the mint and fluorine wouldn’t set him off.

Tea was all he really wanted, something light to settle his stomach, but he wasn’t sure he should drink any. He knew virtually nothing about pregnant… _people_ , but from what he had gleaned over the years of his virtual inattention was that pregnant people couldn’t eat or drink a lot of things. That certain substances could potentially harm the baby. While still internally freaking out over the entire situation, Leonardo realized that despite his fear, despite the enormous amount of regret he was harboring, he didn’t want to hurt the baby. Master Splinter had always taught them that life – all life – was precious, a gift. It was a lesson Leo had taken to heart. Because if their father could adopt four mutant turtles, raise them and love them as his own sons right after his own traumatic transformation, after everything else he’d only recently been through with the death of his wife and daughter, Leo knew he could do this. He could care for a child that he had created, whether it had been consciously or unconsciously done.

“This is so messed up,” he groaned, bypassing the kitchen completely to head to the dojo for meditation.

As he sat down, all Leo could actively think about was how this was all his fault. He should never have agreed to the stupid game he and Raphael had been playing. He should have stopped it at the very beginning, before it ever got started. Despite having no reason to suspect a pregnancy, he knew he should have foreseen something like this happening. After all, they were mutant turtles practicing ninjitsu while living in the sewers of New York City with their rat master who had once been human. Somehow being able to get pregnant even if he was a male shouldn’t have been all that shocking in their upside down world.

Was he even a male?

“Focus,” he hissed at himself as he lit the scentless candles he’d recently found hidden in the closet and closed his eyes. Focus. Calm. He managed to clear his mind just enough so that he could fall into a deep meditation. Once centered, he directed all of his energy into examining himself, his core. Like the day before, Leonardo was met with a very real glow, a spark of life. And like before, it was emanating within him. Just where the womb would be in normal females. Unless he had some sort of internal parasite, there was a baby in there. He knew it.

While technically still a teenager, his twentieth birthday was looming before them in the fall. He wasn’t a child. While young, the turtles had long since been able to care for themselves and each other independently. Unlike the humans above, they’d had to learn quickly to grow up. The fact that they’d been able to have as much of a childhood as they’d had was a luxury Leonardo was immensely thankful for every day. It was perhaps the greatest gift Sensei had given them. But they were no strangers to hardships either, knew what it was like to have nothing, knew what it was like to go hungry. It had only been when Donatello truly master tapping into the city’s power that their lives had turned for the better.

A child born into the sewers now would already have a tremendous head start from what Leonardo himself had had when he was a child. Not only would it have electricity and clean water to rely upon, but it would have the luxury of knowledge. It would know what it was, it would better understand its place in the world, it would know how its body worked much better than the brothers ever had at tender ages. It would even have a parent that looked like it did.

But it wouldn’t have a father. Or at least, it wouldn’t have its sire. While still deep in meditation, Leonardo’s hand unconsciously went to his abdomen as sorrow washed over him.

What would Raphael think of this? It was no secret that the hothead had a soft spot for small creatures, even if he would try to deny it. His affection for Spike and Chompy was proof enough, but his odd connection with birds, mice, and other tiny animals had always endeared him to Leonardo. A baby turtle, one like them, Raphael would just _have_ to love it, right? It would be a baby. _His_ baby. How could Raphael not love it?

Would having a child be enough to bring Raph back? The thought was astonishing, but Leonardo couldn’t stop his heart from pounding. He hadn’t thought of that before. While having a baby was certainly a frightening concept, it had its silver linings too, right? If Raphael knew he was having a child with Leonardo, would that bring him back? Would it keep him here on Earth? With Leo?

Frowning, the leader felt disgusted with himself. How selfish. Was he really that petty to wish the destruction of Raph’s relationship with Mona Lisa, of hoping for their heartbreak just because he wanted Raph to be with him? Child or not, he had no right to hope that his brother’s romance with the Salamandrian would fail. Just as he had no right to use the child like a pawn in his own twisted game of chess. It was a _child_ , not a barging chip.

But either way, Raphael needed to know the truth. Even if he didn’t come home, he needed to know. It wasn’t right to keep this a secret. This was huge, and even if Raph hated him forever, it still wasn’t right to hide a baby from its sire. If he found out one day and Leo hadn’t told him…it was a given that Raphael would be _furious_ , but Leo knew his ex-lover would also be hurt on some level. To never know you’d had a child in the universe would be hard if you ever learned of its existence. Even if his brother opted to stay in space, make a life for himself with Mona Lisa, it still wasn’t right to not tell him. Leo had to. After that, what Raph did with the information was his business.

So the real question became, how was he going to tell Raph about this? Their phones were certainly an option, but besides the fact that they had no idea if they were working, if it had been broken, or if Raph had just turned it off not wanting any reminders of home, telling the sire of your child that they were a father over the phone seemed pretty…insensitive. And that was coming from a turtle often accused of being cold. While he hadn’t grown up in human society to learn all the rules and etiquette that came with relationships, he knew a phone call or text for something this huge was out of the picture. But it wasn’t like he could just waltz up to space to tell Raph face to face.

There was also the major concern of the rest of his family he had to think about, too. What would his other brothers think? Sensei? Miwa? This was more than just announcing a pregnancy. This was also having to admit that he had slept with his younger brother – multiple times – and had been lying to them for years. This was also having to tell them that he was even capable of _having_ children, that he was some kind of freaky hermaphrodite or something. Not to mention this was one hell of a way to come out about the fact that he was apparently gay. But the gay thing was the least of his worries. How would he even go about explaining any of this to them? _“Guys, Dad, just so you know, I’m gay for Raphael and gunna have his baby. Just a heads up!”_ Yeah. _That_ would go over well. One big triple play from hell.

Leo was just starting to work himself into a fit, even while lost in meditation, when he was startled by a voice calling out. “Leo!”

Gasping, the leader snapped his head towards the door of the dojo, eyes wide in fear. Michelangelo was there, poking his head around the corner, frowning at his brother in concern. “Sorry,” the youngest smiled sheepishly. “Breakfast’s ready.”

The older turtle could do nothing but nod, not trusting his voice. He hadn’t sensed his brother coming at all, which was alarming. It felt like he’d just sat down, how long had he been in here?

“You okay, Bro?” Mikey asked, coming to stand more fully in the doorway.

“Fine,” Leo croaked, carefully pushing himself up and gathering the meditation supplies hastily.

He could feel his little brother’s eyes on him, still lingering by the door. Leo tried not to flush, tried not to panic, but after everything he’d recently discovered, he wasn’t sure he was doing a very good job of it. Hopefully Mikey would lose interest and forget about this. Leo just had to act normally.

“Musta been some meditation,” the youngest chirped. “I called for you, like, eight times.”

“Did you?” Leo asked idly, focusing his attention on rolling up the mat rather than looking at his brother.

“Yeah. You working on the next stage or something?”

Blinking, a little surprised that Mikey had asked, let alone noticed, the leader turned to stare at him. “Yes, actually. How did you –?”

Mikey laughed, coming in to help Leo with putting everything away. “Dude, you’ve been in here for over an hour – at least since I’ve been up – and who knows how much longer before!” Leo blinked. “That and the fact that you’re all sweaty. Musta been pretty intense.”

“Yeah,” Leo nodded stupidly. “Yeah, it…it was.”

“Well, come on,” the youngest beamed. “Let’s go get some pancakes! Wait. You didn’t eat yet did you?”

The hopefulness was too much. There was no way Leo could deny his baby brother this time. Freaking out or not, he had to act normally. And besides, he’d been avoiding the family a little too often lately. Time to make it up to them. “No, I haven’t,” he admitted, trying his best to grin.

“Awesome!”

And with that, Leonardo allowed himself to be led away by his brother. When they entered the kitchen, Donnie was slumped over the table, somehow still semi-upright in his chair, eyes closed. There was a coffee mug in his hand, probably the only thing in the world that could get him out of bed save the apocalypse. Thankfully there seemed to be no fried meats on the table, no bacon or sausage, only pancakes and fruit. Mikey pushed his oldest brother down in his usual chair, before bouncing off to make tea. Seeing that, Leo squirmed uncomfortably.

“Can I have ginger this morning?” he ventured, noticing how his baby bro paused. At Mike’s confused face, Leo shrugged. “Feel like ginger this morning.”

“Sure thing!” Mikey gave a thumbs up before turning to pour the hot water over the ginger.

Sitting back, still concerned that he might actually be doing harm, Leo decided tea couldn’t hurt anything. And if he was going to drink it, he’d at least make sure he got something out of it. The nausea wasn’t severe, but hopefully the tea would sooth the quiet ache further. Besides, he’d been drinking tea before finding out and nothing bad had happened…right?

A large set of pancakes was set on the table along with syrup, a bowl of fruit, and finally Leo’s tea. Smiling at Mikey, who was still bopping around happily before plopping down in his seat, the eldest thanked his brother. “No problem, Bro! Eat up!”

At the announcement, Donnie blinked out of his stupor before nodding, grabbing at his fork and plate to load it full of fluffy goodness. It actually made Leo feel a little better, eating breakfast with the family again, watching them behave so normally. He’d missed this. Missed the careless antics of his younger brothers. Missed the normalcy.

All of that would change soon, however. And Leonardo was terrified to think that there was a chance his brothers wouldn’t accept that change. They’d always been together, no matter what. Would the leader having gotten pregnant by their other brother be crossing the line? Would they disown Leo once the truth came out? Would they abandon him? Hate him? Kick him out? Where would Leonardo even go? How would he care for a baby all on his own? Could he even do this on his own?

“Hey guys!”

The turtles turned to find April and Casey walking into the kitchen, smiling pleasantly. Leo zeroed in on the young woman, heart hammering as his stomach flipped. She didn’t _look_ any different than she had that morning, but after their conversation earlier, he wasn’t sure how to take her presence. Had she told anyone? Did Casey know?

But watching as Casey rushed in and plopped down where Raph usually sat, the leader decided, no. Casey did _not_ know. His whole attention was taken by the pancakes on the table.

“Are there extras? Can I have some?” the hockey player asked excitedly.

Knowing that he wasn’t going to eat much, Leo nodded. “Help yourself.”

“Awesome!” And before anyone could say anything else, the human was already stuffing two in his mouth.

Donnie sneered from across the table. “At least get a plate and a fork. Barbarian,” he muttered.

April also came in and sat beside Leo. She set her book bag down between them, giving the leader a sharp look, before smiling at him as if it were just another normal day. Leo felt like he was going to barf. “So, patrol tonight?” she asked lightly. “We splitting up into teams?”

Instantly catching on, Leonardo nodded, schooling his features. “I was thinking about it. Since you guys are here earlier than expected, we can leave right after we finish eating.”

“Sweet!” Mikey exclaimed through a mouth full of pancakes. “No practice fo –”

“We’ll be sure to make up practice tomorrow,” Leo glared at the youngest. No need for them to get sloppy just because Leo was having a mental breakdown.

“Cool, man,” Casey nodded, punching Mikey in the shoulder as he smirked. “So, me an’ April can go –”

“Why do you always get to go with April?” Donnie butted in, not having had enough coffee to be civil quite yet.

“Uh, ‘cause me an’ April work best together, _that’s_ why.”

“Who says?! And what happened to your ‘lone wolf’ persona?”

“Hey! Just ‘cause –”

“Enough!” Leo snarled, not at all up for their bickering. From April’s strained expression, she wasn’t up for it either. “ _I’ll_ be going with April. Mikey, you’ll be in charge of these two nitwits.”

“REALLY?!” Mikey positively _glowed_ , his megawatt smile rivaling the sun. “BOOYAKASHA!” he fist-pumped in the air before rushing over to hug his oldest brother tightly. “I won’t let ya down, Chumpy!”

Unable to stop the smile that creeped onto his lips, especially as Donnie and Casey began to voice their indignant outrage, Leo hugged his baby bro back tightly. This was the first time he’d actually put Mikey in charge over _anyone_ , he realized, but he decided maybe he should start putting Sensei’s wisdom of trusting others into better practice. With everyone.

“Just follow the plan and call if you guys get into trouble. If these two don’t listen to you, call me and _I’ll_ talk to them.”

Mikey was almost manic as he nodded, hopping from foot to foot in excitement. “You can definitely count on me, Bro! You’ll see!”

It was a testament to how excited he was that Mikey didn’t even finish his breakfast before running out of the kitchen to get ready for patrol. While Casey and Donnie continued to sulk, April threw the leader a warm smile. At least someone agreed with his decision.

Taking up his tea, Leo finished the cup before standing. “Come on guys. Gear up.”


	6. Making Preparations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo and April make plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Monday!

After a lot of whining and complaints, it was eventually decided that ‘Team Awesomeness’ would take to the roofs while April and Leo would scout in the Shellraiser for patrol. It was amusing, sweet even, how seriously Mikey took his first leadership role for patrol. He didn’t want to let Big Brother down, and it left Leo deeply touched. So much so that the eldest turtle didn’t feel the least bit sorry for the other two under the goofball’s control.

As the other three went on their way, racing through the tunnels after a hyperactive Michelangelo ordered them to the north in his best leader voice – which was consequently the voice he used when mocking Leonardo – April and Leo hung back and eventually made their way to the Shellraiser, the redhead being sure to snag her bag. Not wanting to look suspicious, and quite frankly, not wanting Donatello to realize they hadn’t taken the vehicle out, the two loaded up and eventually found an alley to park in, leaving the Shellraiser running to eat up gas incase Donnie checked. And he _would_ check the fuel status later.

Once settled, Leonardo turned towards his friend, sick with apprehension. April wasted no time in opening her bag. “Okay, so I ran a test on your blood at school today.” She held up her hands before the turtle could freak out in her face. “Don’t worry. I didn’t let anyone else look at it too closely and I washed it down the drain after so Chaplin couldn’t see it or anything.”

“What did you do with it?” he asked warily, not comfortable that she’d taken his blood to such a public setting.

“Well,” the young woman blushed slightly, “since I wasn’t sure if an actual pregnancy test would work for you because you’re a mutant, I ran a test on your blood for the pregnancy hormone.”

Even though he knew where this was going, Leo still found himself quivering. “A-and?”

April gazed up at her friend with something between concern, regret, and hopefulness. “Congratulations?” she winced.

This was certainly not unexpected, but still. Leonardo sat back heavily in his chair and took a moment to collect himself. He’d known there was a baby, he’d _known_ , but having it confirmed beyond a shadow of a doubt was a strange sensation. There’d been a part of him that had wished he was just nuts, another that this was a dream. Yet there had been hope as well. Hope that there was a child. He wasn’t sure why exactly he sort of wanted there to be a baby as it would complicate _everything_ , but he had. And now that he knew for certain, he was at least relieved the doubts could be put to rest.

“Thanks,” he murmured, feeling his head beginning to throb.

“Oh, Leo,” April sighed, coming over to hug the turtle from behind in his seat. “It’s not all bad, right? I mean…well, I mean having a baby isn’t so terrible. You’re starting a family.”

A family he’d always longed for while growing up. “I know, I just…I-I just thought _I’d_ get to be th-the father, ya know?”

The watery smile he gave didn’t even remotely fool April. She continued to hug him close until he felt like he wasn’t going to fall apart. He couldn’t let that happen. Not again. Unlike earlier with his panic attack, he’d had some more time to think and adjust to the idea of becoming – for all intents and purposes – a _mother_.

“You’ll still be kind of like its father, Leo,” the human soothed. “And you’ll be a _wonderful_ parent.” Leo was thankful she didn’t say ‘mother’ out loud, even if it hung in the air around them.

“How do you know?” he asked, suddenly desperate. “I-I mean, I don’t even know what to _do_. I have no idea how to take care of a baby! I don’t even know where I’m going to go.”

The human frowned. “Go?”

“I have to be prepared for every possibility, April,” the turtle sighed. “If my family finds out – _when_ they find out – they might not accept this. Accept _me_. I mean, this isn’t like I just slept with someone and managed to get pregnant. I slept with my _brother_. This is…this might be too much for them.”

“They won’t kick you out, Leo,” the kunoichi snapped. “How could you even think that?”

“But what if they _do_?” the ninja pleaded. April was an optimist by nature, looking for the good in everything, even when it wasn’t there. Leo had been like that once, always positive and hopeful. The hard years since venturing out onto the surface had tempered that side of him, breaking the optimistic boy into a realist. And while there were so many people in the world that didn’t want to accept reality, Leonardo knew he had to. He had to if he was going to survive in such a harsh world.

Taken aback by the ardent plea, April sighed. “If they do, then you can live with me.”

“I thought you were still at your dad’s –?”

“I’m _not_ letting you go through with this alone, Leonardo,” she snarled, protective instincts roaring to life. “We’ll go out to the farm house together if we need to, but I’m not going to leave you to deal with this alone.” A small smile slipped onto her face as she placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I’ve got your back.”

An immense weight lifted from the turtle’s shell at the declaration and he started crying. It was probably the most embarrassing thing to have ever happened to him, bawling when someone offered to stand by him. He flushed, and in his frustration, he only began crying harder, unable to stop.

A knowing expression crossed the human’s face and she walked back around the chair and to her bag. Pulling out Kleenex, she handed it over to the turtle, who took it with a shaking hand. “I-I’m s-sorry,” he tried to control himself, wondering why he couldn’t stop crying.

“It’s okay,” April soothed.

“I-I don’t kn-know why I-I’m –”

“Hormones,” she replied bluntly, before shifting through her bag again. “It happens to wom – uh, pregnant people all the time.”

She was being as supportive as she could, but Leo was still mortified. Some ‘Fearless Leader’ he was. Pregnant, sobbing because he was glad to have a friend like April, sobbing because he was thinking about Raphael, and sick because, again, he was pregnant. What a mess his life was.

“Here,” she passed him a magazine when he wasn’t quite as hysterical as before.

“What’s this?” he muttered, blushing purple when he read the title cover. _The Baby Buzz! What to Expect as You’re Expecting! _ “S-seriously?!” he croaked.

“It’s actually a reputable medical magazine,” April defended. “I looked through the articles and there’s some good ones I think you’ll want to read. I’ll try and pick up some actual books tomorrow.”

“Does any of this even matter? For me, I mean,” Leo began flipping through the glossy pages, staring at happy looking women with large, distended bellies. It made him a little sick. “I mean, I’m a mutant _turtle_.”

“Well, you’ve got human DNA. And your symptoms thus far are _not_ turtle-based,” she shrugged. “I’m no doctor, but I’m willing to bet this will be pretty similar to a human pregnancy.”

The two began scanning through the articles, both of them flushed and wide eyed. While it was safe to assume April knew more than Leonardo about all this, it was obviously still a learning experience for her, too. They both winced and grimaced at symptoms and women actually writing about their own birthing experiences. It was probably the most graphic thing Leonardo had ever read, and that included the in-depth books he’d had on torture in medieval times. Just envisioning the actual birthing made him sick. How would that even _work_ for him?

When they couldn’t read anymore, snapping the magazine closed, they sat for a moment before April cleared her throat. “Ah, I got you some other stuff, too.”

A plastic shopping sack was pulled out from the book bag before the human handed it over. Leo took it, almost afraid to peek inside after the magazine stunt, but curiosity got the better of him. The first item he pulled out was a box of tea. Surprised, he looked it over, frowning at the fancy _Raspberry Leaf_ printed on the container. He glanced up at April.

“It’s supposed to be good for you to drink in the early stages,” April shrugged. “I also made a list of teas you can get away with drinking that might help with the, ah, ‘morning’ sickness.”

Nodding, not sure what to say, he continued to go through the sack. There were prenatal vitamins and also a new journal. Looking up at April again for that, she shrugged once more. “You’re going to have to start keeping record of everything you’re experiencing and feeling.”

Running a hand over the brown leather cover, the turtle muttered to himself. “Makes sense.” After all, he kept records of pretty much everything else since becoming leader. It meant that he’d have to rip those pages he’d been using to document this pregnancy out from the back of his strategy journal. He’d have to keep them in here now.

The two continued on in this vein, opening a different magazine to get tips on what to do during pregnancy, what _not_ to do, what not to eat, and other tidbits. As he glanced over the lists, Leo realized that his entire lifestyle was terrible for being with child. Everything he did from the strenuous workouts to fighting villains _screamed_ danger. He might as well just kill the child now rather than put it through all the stress and strain. But as soon as the thought entered his mind, he felt guilty for it. No, he’d have to be careful, maybe have his brothers’ focus more on meditation in the days to come. Not every day had to be intense training.

But they would catch on. Eventually Mikey and Donnie would notice that there was something off with their Big Brother. Already they gave him odd looks when he didn’t eat with them, or when he locked himself in his room for hours on end. Sensei was asking a lot of questions, too. Questions the turtle wasn’t sure he could answer without it being a total lie. He couldn’t hide this. It couldn’t wait much longer.

“Leo?”

Blinking out of his thoughts, he glanced up to find April staring at him worriedly. “Hmm?”

“You okay?” she asked gently.

“Yeah,” he rubbed at his forehead. “Just…getting a headache.”

Wordlessly she passed him a bottle of pills and water. He glared at it momentarily, until she explained it would be okay for him to take.

“Leo?” There was a distinctly uncomfortable air about the human, and it made the turtle apprehensive. “I know you said before that you didn’t want to tell anyone else, but you need to see a doctor. You need to get examined sooner rather than later. Maybe we should tell Donnie –”

“No.”

“Leo –”

“Not until I tell Raph.” The finality of the statement surprised even the leader.

April nodded. “Okay, so…tell him. Do you have your phone?”

Now came the tricky part. “I…I can’t just call him, April. Besides the fact that I don’t even think his phone is on, telling him something this huge over the phone is…well…it seems wrong.”

“You want to tell him in person?” April asked incredulously. “We have no idea where he’s even at right now, let alone have a way to get to him.”

The turtle bit his lip in thought. “We could call the Fugitoid.”

“Leo –”

“I _have_ to tell him, April!” a real sense of panic came over the turtle, an urgency that consumed his soul. “H-he has to know. He has to know _first_ , before the others.”

It was obvious she was picking up on some of the distress as she sighed, turning away. “What will you say to him?”

“The truth. That I’m pregnant and it’s his.”

The human’s frown deepened. “Are you going to ask him to come home?”

“No,” Leo shook his head after a brief moment’s pause, the weight of his sadness boring down on him. “He went out into space for Mona Lisa. And he _hates_ space. He made his choice, and he has to be the one to make it about what to do when he learns about this. I won’t force him in to anything he doesn’t want to do.”

“You’re not going to – to ask him to help you raise the baby?” April asked quietly.

Obviously Leo wanted nothing more. In the best case scenario, Leo imagined Raphael as being surprised, but excited. He’d break up with Mona Lisa and come back home to help Leo raise the child, and they could be their own little family. His siblings and father would all be pleased and happy for them, and everything would be right in their world.

But the turtle was hardly naïve. He knew things were more complicated than that. If Raph wasn’t outright repulsed at the idea of them having created a child, and even if he _did_ come home to help raise the baby, it wouldn’t be for Leo’s sake. Despite his attitude, Raph was loyal, and there was a sense of responsibility about him when something truly mattered. If he came home and left Mona, it wouldn’t be because he necessarily wanted to. He’d come back because he felt that he _had_ to. And Leo wasn’t sure he wanted Raph around just because he felt like he had to be.

“No,” he whispered simply.

April sat a moment, stunned, confused, sad, before slowly nodding, not willing to argue at the moment. “You know,” she began, “the Fugitoid could look you over. Give you an examination. Make sure the baby’s healthy.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought, too,” the turtle nodded, unable to meet the human’s eyes. “April, I…I want to thank you,” he began quietly after a pause. “I’m not sure what I would do without your support.”

Leo was forced to look up when he felt April’s hand back on his shoulder, squeezing gently. “That’s what friends are for.”

Damn tears wanted to come back, but the leader refused. “You’re being so much more than just a friend,” he denied. “I want you to know how grateful I am to you.”

After another hug session, the two decided to drive around the city, talking and vaguely making plans as to how they should contact the Fugitoid, as well as how to get everything they’d need to make their escape. April kept a log in a notebook, making lists of supplies and even writing out excuses she could use on her dad and other normal human friends when they left.

While feeling immensely guilty, Leo couldn’t find it in himself to actually tell his family he’d be leaving. A few weeks in space wasn’t that big of a deal for the turtles, but to leave without a trace would be more than traumatic for those left behind. Leo knew he’d lose it if he were to suddenly find a sibling missing.

But how could he tell them that he was going out to space to talk to Raph? They’d want to know why, want to go with him, and it would be more than a little strange for him to go all the way out there without even trying to bring him back. There was nothing he could tell them that wouldn’t prevent them from learning or wheedling out the truth from him. And Leo was adamant that Raphael learn about the pregnancy before the rest of the family. Maybe he was being cowardly, but the time in space and Raph’s own reaction would give him time and clues as to how to approach the rest of the family about this.

When it was time to head back to the lair, the two had made sufficient plans, and it was agreed that they do this as soon as they could and not wait. The sooner Raphael could be told, the sooner they could move on and make more solid plans about dealing with everyone else and the actual delivery of the child. April hugged him again before they exited the Shellraiser.

Thankfully the others had made it back in one piece and were waiting for them in the pit, Casey and Donatello glaring resentfully at their ‘commanding officer’ Michelangelo, who was reciting ‘war stories’ to the two ‘green horns under his wing.’ At Donnie’s ‘SAVE ME!’ expression, Leo couldn’t help the small smirk that wormed its way onto his lips, before straightening up. “Michelangelo.”

It was amusing to see the youngest snap to attention. “ _Hai_ , Fearless Leader?”

While he knew he was being mocked in part, Leo was too relieved that leaving Mikey in charge hadn’t permanently damaged anyone else in his team. “Come to the dojo.” He decided to play along. “I expect a full mission report.”

“Sir, yes, sir!” Mikey saluted before grinning manically, running off the dojo, doing what he was told for once.

As he passed by, the eldest placed a comforting hand on Donnie’s shoulder. “I’ll talk to you later, too,” he said quietly, before entering the dojo, steeling himself for a long winded tale of wonder and fancy.


	7. Acceptance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leonardo has a chat with Splinter and Miwa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING! Weird turtle facts ahead! 
> 
> ALSO!! the lovely ctrlo has made a beautiful picture for this story and hopes to make illustrations for each chapter! The prologue has been completed, so go check it out if you'd like! http://archiveofourown.org/works/11950848
> 
> Thanks again, ctrlo~ <3

It hadn’t been as hard as Leonardo thought it would be to set up arrangements with the Fugitoid to go into space. After having snuck into Don’s lab one night when the genius had fallen asleep face first in his desk, the elder turtle had been quick to send out an urgent message, which was answered and replied to quickly – thank God! – before deleting evidence of the conversation. It was a trick he’d picked up from when Donnie had been teaching them the basics of hacking once.

Thankfully Professor Honeycutt had been more than willing to pick Leo and April up in a week, agreeing to beam them from the farmhouse so as not to be immediately detected. The last thing Leo wanted was for his family to find out about his jaunt in space too soon. It was better they not be able to be stopped and questioned.

It was decided, however, that the family _would_ learn of their adventure. Eventually. The guilt between the conspirators was too great, and while they would keeping their leaving secret as to _where_ they were going, April would tell Kirby that she and Leo were going to be gone for a while, and ask for her father to tell the mutants not to worry. They’d explain everything when they got back. That was the only thing keeping the guilt from eating Leo alive. Because really, a few weeks up to a month wasn’t so long. Nothing to worry about.

Late in the morning when he should have been asleep, Leo sat up out in the pit, staring at his phone. He felt overwhelmed by everything that was happening so fast, by the fact that he would soon face Raphael again and tell him the bizarre truth. The hothead hadn’t even been gone two months and already Leo was going to go running after him, like some desperate whore. It was embarrassing, shameful. But it was what needed to be done. It was what Leo _wanted_ to do.

Scrolling through his camera, the turtle pulled up the picture that Raphael had pranked him with. How was it that he could be so furious with, yet wanted this bastard so much? He missed the sonuvabitch with every fiber of his being and the more he thought about him, the angrier he became. How could Raph have just left? After everything they’d been through together? After all Leo had done for him? _Gave_ him?

The real question was what was Leo going to do when he saw Raph again? It was a tossup between bursting into tears and beating the bastard to a pulp. With his hormones lately, it’d probably be both.

But even with how furious he was, sad, he did want to see Raph. Desperately. All their time together, it haunted him, left him empty and wanting. And not just because of the sex. There was more to it than that. It was the time spent together just being brothers, friends. He missed the teasing, the arguments, the familiarity. The safety he felt when Raph was near.

Without remembering he’d done it, Leo pulled up his text feed with his lover. He wanted to spill his guts out, wanted to confess to loving the prick, telling Raph that he was coming, wanted to scream at him for leaving Leonardo alone. So many things he wanted to write, so many emotions he wanted to convey. But in the end, all Leo managed to type was:

 _I miss you_.

What a stupid thing to say. It was so ridiculous, a stupid emotional sentiment. But Leo meant it. It’s what echoed around in his heart and in his head every day. He missed Raphael. Holding his breath, he pressed the send button, a thrill of nothing good shooting through him as he did so.

And then he waited.

It was stupid to think that he’d get a reply instantly, but still, Leo waited. Staring at the screen in pathetic hopefulness, he willed his lover to see the message. The older turtle had offered the olive branch, he was desperate for Raph to reach out and take it. But as the seconds crawled by, slowly turning into minutes, he knew he had wasted time worrying. Raph wasn’t going to answer.

Sighing, Leo leaned back in the couch, spacing out, deject. What an idiot. Of course Raph wouldn’t respond. He was with Mona Lisa. The woman he’d been pining after for _years._ Why would Raph answer _Leo_ when he hadn’t responded to Mikey or Donnie or even Sensei? Why would he waste his time responding to three stupid little words? Raphael had made it perfectly clear before he’d left: he didn’t care about Leo. He didn’t care, never truly had, never would.

Bitterly, he placed a hand on his stomach, rubbing soothing circles.

He needed to calm down. Lately when he got particularly emotional, he got sick. It was embarrassing enough to throw up when he first woke up or when he smelled something potent, but because he couldn’t control his emotions? That’s where Leonardo drew the line.

“Come on, little guy, give me a break,” he murmured more to himself than anything, feeling the familiar sourness seep into his stomach.

“Leonardo?”

Startling, Leo turned to find his father walking out from his room. Suddenly paranoid that he’d been heard, it took a few moments for the turtle to realize there was no way his father had heard. Or at least could not have made out the specific words. And from the confused look on Splinter’s face, even if he had heard, it was impossible for him to know what his son was talking about.

Blinking, Leo stared at his father, trying not to feel or look guilty. “ _Hai_ , Sensei?”

The rat studied his son for a moment before asking, “What are you still doing awake?”

It wasn’t odd to find Sensei up and about this late in the morning recently due to his meetings with Miwa. Since she was balancing work, ninja-ing, and school, Splinter accommodated her schedule. Leo knew his sister was coming over today to speak to their father about the continuing rise of separatist factions. Things were getting worse, and Hamato Yoshi was needed.

But even knowing this, that wouldn’t explain what Leo would be doing up right now. While Splinter and Miwa were kept busy trying to contain the evil ninja groups, it was up to Leonardo to lead his brothers, to keep an eye out over the city at night. He should be resting. “I…couldn’t sleep.”

It wasn’t a total lie, but from the way Sensei was studying him, the rat knew it wasn’t the whole truth. “Come,” he motioned for his son to follow.

Knowing he wouldn’t be able to get out of it, Leo sighed as he stood, shoving his phone back in his belt. Maybe talking to his father would help him feel a little better, lessen the sting of the rejection he still felt so keenly from his text being left unanswered. Hopefully he wouldn’t get sick and have to run out while in the middle of a conversation.

Sitting at the low table with his father, Leo waited for his master to speak. It didn’t take long, and the young ninja watched nervously as Splinter checked him over from head to toe. How much did his father actually _see_? How much did he _know_?

Once he was looking back into his son’s face, Sensei tugged at his beard thoughtfully. “You are still having trouble adjusting to your brother’s absence.”

It wasn’t a question. “ _Hai_ , Sensei.”

Splinter nodded. “I know it has been difficult without Raphael here with us,” Leo was proud he didn’t cringe at hearing his lover’s name, “but we must move on.”

There was a lapse in which Leo knew he was expected to speak, expected to say something, to assure his father that he was fine, maybe promise to work on letting go. But how could he? How could he lie when every waking and unconscious moment was spent longing for Raphael? He was carrying Raph’s _child_ for fuck’s sake!

“Leonardo?”

Refusing to look up, the turtle kept his head down, ashamed that he felt so weak, so vulnerable. The guilt of keeping this secret was slowly killing him. Despite what others thought, he didn’t like keeping secrets from his family, especially Sensei. He didn’t like not being open with them. Yet it had always been difficult to open up and share his thoughts with them.

“Leonardo? What is Raphael to you?”

A jolt of panic coursed through Leonardo, causing his stomach to roll. Since Raph had left, Sensei had been probing, asking from different angles what was wrong. This was the first time that he had been so direct. And Leo knew he couldn’t lie.

“He’s…my best friend.”

It was the truth. No matter how cruel Raph had been, how dismissive and hurtful, he was still Leonardo’s best friend. Despite the arguments, despite the pain. When Raph had gone, he’d broken off every kind of relationship they’d had. They were brothers, that wouldn’t change, but Leo would always consider the hothead his best friend, something more. But they weren’t lovers. Not anymore. Not ever again.

Peeking up, the turtle found Splinter frowning at him in concern. “You and Raphael have always shared a special bond,” he acknowledged softly. “I know how close you were to one another. But my son, I’ve noticed great changes in you since Raphael’s departure. I am worried about you.”

Leo wanted to laugh, humor dark and bitter. If only his father knew just how worried he should be. “I’ll be okay.” And somehow, Leo knew he would be. Even if he lost everything, even if no one in his family or friends would talk to him once they found out the truth, he’d be okay. Because he’d have April there to help, and he’d have his baby. He’d still have a little piece of Raphael that no one could ever take from him. Even if his world crumbled, he’d come out okay, one way or another.

The answer was not fully accepted, but before Splinter could probe any further, the _shoji_ pulled back and Miwa walked in. When she noticed Leo, she paused, glancing back and forth between father and son. “I’m sorry. Did I interrupt something?”

The tenseness between the ninja dissipated, and after one last glance at Leonardo, their father shook his head. “No. Please,” he gestured for her to take a seat. “I will make tea.”

As the rat left, brother and sister sat together. After only a beat of silence, Miwa smirked at the turtle. “What’d I walk in on? Didn’t get in trouble, did you?” she teased.

“No,” Leo shook his head, relaxing. While she came off abrasive to others, Leo had always been comfortable around Miwa. “I just couldn’t sleep and Sensei was asking about it.”

Close enough to the truth.

A frown turned down the painted lips. “You know, we haven’t talked in a while.”

Smiling sadly at his sister, the turtle wondered why he had to feel so guilty about everything. “Sorry.” He took her hand, giving it a squeeze. “I wasn’t sure with everything going on if you’d want a distraction.”

It was so rare for someone like Miwa – formally Oroku Karai – to open herself up, to allow others to see real emotion. But Leo was one of those people, someone whom the distrustful kunoichi could be at ease with. And seeing the small, but sincere smile on her red lips settled something within Leonardo. Made him feel like he wasn’t such a terrible person after all.

“A distraction now and then might be nice,” she squeezed back.

The siblings released their hands when their father returned with a small tray of tea. Sitting down, Splinter carefully set the cups before his children and poured for them before serving himself. Leo stared at the tea apprehensively, wondering if he should really be drinking it, but knew he’d have to drink it to keep suspicion off. He took the cup. The aroma of jasmine wafted to his nostrils, nearly causing him to groan. He hadn’t had jasmine since finding out about the pregnancy, but he’d been _craving_ it. His wonderfully delightful jasmine.

Taking a small sip, he allowed the warm liquid to soak his tongue. It was _wonderful_. And deciding a few sips wouldn’t hurt, having actually looked up the risks several days ago and finding them minimal for this particular tea, Leo vowed that this would be his last indulgence. By next week, he’d hopefully be in space, having the Fugitoid check him over to make certain that the baby was okay. He’d been drinking jasmine up to the point of discovering the child and nothing bad had happened. Having a cup of tea now wouldn’t hurt.

With Leo sitting in on the discussion about the Foot, the three debated the threats to their family, as well as making plans for the future. It was hoped that Splinter could be changed back into a human in the next few months and assist in the suppression and control of the Shredder’s legacy. Leo would then have to step it up, would have to control his younger brothers as Clan Leader.

“It shouldn’t be too hard.” Miwa rolled her eyes. “I mean, it’s not like Raph’s here to cause trouble. Mikey and Donnie always listen to you. When the hothead comes back, he’ll be the odd man out, and be forced to fall into line because the system will already have been set into place long before he got back.”

Of course Raph would be brought up in the discussion. Staring down into his tea cup, it took quite a bit of control to keep his face impassive. If circumstances had been what they seemed, Miwa would have been right. When Leo became Clan Leader, Donnie and Mikey would fall into line well enough so that when Raph’s tour with Mona Lisa was done and he returned home, he wouldn’t have a lot of footing to rebel against his elder brother’s rule. The struggle in getting Raphael to obey his authority would be made a lot easier.

But things weren’t what they seemed. Leo was going to be leaving to admit that he was pregnant to Raphael. And depending on how that conversation went, the leader would either return home with Raphael or not. Either way, after coming back to Earth, not only would Leonardo have to prepare for his impending leadership role – if he was allowed to stay within the family in the best case scenario where he wasn’t banished and his father would still give him the honor of leading the family – he’d also have to prepare for a baby.

Again, this was best case scenario. If his family did not respond favorably to the news about the baby, if Raph wanted nothing more to do with him, if he was shunned from the clan, leader responsibilities would mean nothing. Instead, he and April would have to run away to the farm house. They’d probably only be allowed to stay there a short time as it was Kirby’s property. They’d probably have to plan on finding another house, out in the middle of nowhere, just in case.

While it sounded horrible, Leo _never_ wanting to lose his family, the thought of having his child out in the open, under the sun and sky, to never have to remember the first time they’d touch grass so clearly like Leo did, would be amazing. While sure to be horribly painful, separation from his family would have its own set of benefits. To be able to live more openly in the world above, for instance. But of course he’d still rather stay with his family in the sewers than live on a farm without them.

“Leonardo?”

Blinking out of his thoughts, the young ninja found both his father and sister staring at him worriedly. “Hmm? I’m sorry,” he apologized. “I guess I spaced out there for a minute.”

Miwa was open with her concern, but there was confusion in her eyes as well. “You okay? You haven’t been drinking your tea,” she noted.

Glancing down at his mostly filled cup, the turtle found himself smiling slightly. “Yeah, I guess I’m more tired than I’d thought,” he dismissed. “Maybe I should just go to bed.”

Splinter was already nodding. “I believe that would be best. We will discuss these matters in more detail later.”

“Okay,” Leo offered what he hoped could pass for a smile. “Sorry. Goodnight.”

“Sleep well, my son.”

“I’ll text you later,” Miwa promised as she gave a small wave.

Creeping out of Sensei’s room, Leo shuffled to the bathroom to brush his teeth before laying down in his room. He suddenly felt exhausted, like he’d run ten miles with an extra one hundred pounds strapped to his shell. He wondered why he felt so heavy all the time. He hadn’t really gained any weight – and he’d know since he check religiously twice a day. Thus far he’d only gained about two pounds, which was amazing considering how much he threw up. But two pounds was hardly anything and shouldn’t make him feel like this. Honestly, the turtles all tended to fluctuate in weight, losing or gaining five or so pounds here or there depending on the stress and strain of missions. With things being quiet lately, under normal circumstances, Leo probably would have gained a pound or two.

But he was forced to remember that his circumstances were _not_ normal, and his weight gain was not simply due to less activity. Rolling onto his back, Leo stared up at the ceiling, hugging the pillow he’d stolen from Raph’s room to his chest. Two pounds…there was no way the baby weighed that much all ready. Leo had gone through the magazines and books April had given him about a million times already, and knew that the infant likely weighed less than an ounce.

Hand automatically going to his still flat plastron, Leo rubbed over his stomach, wondering not for the first time how far along he was. The last time he’d slept with Raph had been aboard the Fugitoid’s ship, but that didn’t mean that was the night of conception. There were _plenty_ of opportunities for him to have gotten pregnant before then, especially Raph’s last week here on Earth.

And of course, the next question that came to mind was, how long would this take? Human pregnancies lasted typically nine months. The true gestation period of female turtles was unknown. According to every source he’d looked into, snagging some of Donnie’s ‘medical’ books on the subject, Leo had come to learn that female turtles could actually conserve sperm after being bred and fertilize the eggs months, sometimes _years_ after the last pairing. Oddly enough, scientists weren’t sure if the true gestation period was a few months or up to two _years_. All that was known for sure was that after a female laid the eggs, it took sixty days of incubation before hatching, and that even after having only been bred once, and having laid one clutch of eggs, a female turtle could still lay fertilized eggs from the previous pairing.

Considering how often he and Raph had actually had sex, Leo didn’t want to think of the possibility of his body having stored and conserved that much sperm. Just as he didn’t like thinking about the fact that technically speaking, the egg in him now could have been fertilized with sperm from two years ago. That was too weird to think about, and he hoped Professor Honeycutt could help shed some light on the mystery that was his body.

Rolling over onto his side, Leo closed his eyes, still rubbing circles on his stomach. Despite how weird this all was, despite freaking out the more he learned but still did not know, he decided to accept his situation. There was nothing he could do about it anyway. This was apparently a natural part of his biology. It wasn’t like he’d played around with science to get like this, perverted nature or anything – that had happened during his initial mutation. Obviously this was something that was a fundamental part of what he was.

Smiling humorlessly, he tried not to think of _Jurassic Park_ even if the message of ‘life finds a way’ seemed particularly applicable in this situation. So taking a deep breath, pushing all the questions and concerns he still had away until he had rested, Leonardo fell into a deep sleep.

He dreamed of strong arms holding him.


	8. Like Thieves in the Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April and Leo leave the city together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Labor Day!
> 
> ALSO, if you haven't seen and would like to, the lovely ctrlo has been working hard making illustrations for this story, so if you want to see, you can check 'em out by searching 'Letting you go fanart'!

If there was one thing Hamato Leonardo was good at, it was planning. Staring at the complicated lists, the supplies littered around the floor in neat piles, April couldn’t help but be impressed, even after all these years of knowing him. “Wow,” she blinked, walking back into her room with a plate of cookies and some tea. “You went all out here.”

“Yeah, but we still need more medical supplies,” the turtle mused, reviewing yet another check list.

While she knew he probably wouldn’t appreciate the teasing at the moment, she couldn’t help but smirk. “And I thought _Donnie_ was obsessive when it came to prep work.”

Leo didn’t even glance up. “Always better to be safe than sorry.”

“That’s what Donnie says.”

Sitting on her bed, setting down the tea, April grabbed a cookie and started munching. It was currently about ten in the evening on the night before they were leaving. Even though it wasn’t very clear, Leonardo was an absolute nervous wreck. He kept fidgeting, kept checking his phone, and even flinched when he heard a noise outside the window. Technically they were supposed to be on patrol. Casey was sent out by himself while Donnie and Mikey went as a team. Instead of doing their rounds, however, Leo and April were making final preparations for their journey.

“You know,” the human began, offering the plate of cookies to the stressed turtle, “you don’t have to worry so much. We’re gunna be okay.”

The turtle pushed the cookies away, an almost pained expression on his face. “Have to make sure,” he muttered as he turned back to re-packing for the trip.

Frowning as she continued to eat her snack, April watched her friend carefully. “Stomach bothering you?”

Leo’s nose scrunched up, finally glancing up to give his friend a long suffering look. “I spent half an hour in the bathroom after getting out of bed to throw up, and it still feels like I’m going to explode, I feel so bloated.”

Kneeling down beside the turtle, the girl began rubbing the back of his shell, hoping to comfort him. While she had no experience in such matters, she knew pregnancy wasn’t fun. Since the body was undergoing such severe changes to accommodate the tiny life within, she knew it had to be tiring and rather sickening work growing a child.

“Maybe the Fugitoid will know how to help with the morning sickness,” she offered.

“I hope so. This week’s been absolute hell,” Leo moaned, letting his head fall into his hands. “I can’t train, I can’t mediate, I can’t eat, I can’t even _sleep_. Something’s got to give.”

It was obvious that Leonardo wasn’t at his best. His color was off, scales duller than normal, and she was fairly certain that if he wasn’t wearing his mask, she’d be able to see bags under his eyes. His normally strong, straight posture was hunched and wilted. Why the others still hadn’t confronted Leo about his obvious distress was beyond April. While Leo had admitted Splinter had pressed and Miwa was now asking a lot of questions, wanting to know what was wrong, his brothers and Casey hadn’t said a word. They _had_ to have noticed _something,_ right? But April still wondered why they hadn’t confronted the leader about it. Did they think they were doing him a favor?

“First priority,” she promised, continuing to rub his shell.

Turning back to lists and piles of things scattered neatly across the floor, honestly, April couldn’t think of anything else they’d need. Bringing along medical supplies was actually pretty silly considering the Fugitoid would have everything they needed and more, but she kept her mouth closed. Knowing how freaked out Leo was over this trip, she let him have his busy work.

As she sat and watched, the human still couldn’t quite believe it. Even after having some time getting used to the idea that her friend was really going to have a baby, it was a hard concept to fully grasp. He didn’t look much different, other than how tired and pale he was, his plastron was still flat. While she hadn’t said anything to Leo, she’d been looking up some facts about turtles and knew that when a turtle was carrying eggs, it never ‘looked’ pregnant. Unlike mammals, turtles kept their shape. While it was impossible at the moment to figure out how far along he actually was, April wondered if Leonardo would start to look bigger or if his plastron would remain flat. Would he lay actual eggs or give birth?

Thus far his symptoms were rather human-like, making April believe that this would be more of a human-like pregnancy. But then it was impossible to know for sure. There was no one and nothing they could base this experience off of. Leo was the first of his species on this planet to have to go through this. It wasn’t like there had been any mutant turtles before, and even through their adventures in space, they hadn’t come across any aliens that even remotely resembled the turtles. As far as April could see, this was just going to have to be another jaunt into the unknown. But at least he would have support through it.

“I’ll have to take some more stuff from the lab,” Leo mused as he started re-packing their supplies. “I’ll do it before we leave. Donnie’ll be pissed about it,” he sighed. “He’s pissed about me taking things last week.”

“Does he know it was you?” April frowned, suddenly worried about being able to slip away without confrontation.

“No,” the leader denied. “He’s been giving Mikey these weird looks. I think he thinks it’s him.” Leo paused. “I’ll have to make it up to both of them when we get back.”

“Don’t worry about it,” the human soothed as she sat back on her heels, letting Leo do all the packing. It would help reassure him if he was the one doing all the work, knowing they had it and where it would be if needed. “I’m sure once we’ve explained everything, they’ll both be more than understanding.”

It was a gambling statement. Leonardo was still petrified at the prospect of letting his family in on the big secret, but at the same time, about ready to burst from keeping it to himself. Thankfully he didn’t say anything about the possibility of being banished. Apparently he was too nervous about the actual travelling ahead of them to worry about that far into the future right now.

“Is everything set? I mean, travelling out to the farm will take nearly all day.”

“It’s going to be fine, Leo,” she handed him a mug of raspberry leaf tea. “The car’s gassed up and ready, I’ve already been grocery shopping, it’s mostly all loaded – just this stuff needs packed – and I’ve covered my bases. Dad knows what to do. We’ll probably be half way out of the solar system by the time anyone realizes we’re gone. It’s all going to be _fine_.”

“Right, right,” Leo nodded distractedly. “You’re right. I’m just – This isn’t how I…”

“I know.”

Giving her friend the hug he severely needed, they sat together for a moment drinking in the comfort they could, before sneaking out of the window and onto the roof. They had to meet up with the others. And in about twelve hours, April and Leo would be heading out of the city. She just hoped that everything really would go as smoothly as she wanted.

**oOoOoOo**

Lying in bed, Leo turned his head to stare at the clock on his nightstand. It was currently nine in the morning. Not time to leave yet. Unable to get comfortable, still feeling as though he had a bowling ball pressing on his intestines, he had no idea what to do with his hands. Normally he’d be clutching the pillow he’d pilfered from Raph’s room, hugging it close and trying to catch traces of his ex-lover’s scent. But he’d snuck it out of the lair the other day, taking it to April’s so she could pack it in the car for their trip. Now he was left feeling colder and more alone without it.

Taking deep breaths, or as deep as he could without getting sick, Leonardo carefully pushed himself up. Maybe he should double check his bag? He had his katana sitting out beside it and had packed away some extra cleaning and sharpening supplies. There were a few of his comics and smaller books in there too so he had something to do on the trip so he wouldn’t drive himself completely crazy, as well as his pregnancy journal with everything he’d been keeping track of written out neatly. He’d also stuffed in those magazine’s April had gotten him. The books she’d gotten had been returned to the library. Other than that, he couldn’t imagine needing anything else. Other than the things from the lab.

Still fidgeting, Leo began pacing the room. He should have been trying to get a few hours of sleep, but honestly, he felt like he was going to get sick he was so nervous. He was actually pretty surprised he hadn’t had to run off to the bathroom yet. But then again, he was so worried about getting caught, he didn’t want to leave his room until he absolutely had to.

As he paced he passed the full length mirror on the wall. On many occasions for various reasons, Leonardo had spent a lot of time staring at himself in mirrors. As a child, it’d been to try and figure out what he was, fascinated with seeing himself for the first time when a reflective piece had been discovered. As a young teen, it had been to boost his ego, a vain attempt at flattering himself about his looks. But recently, the last several years, staring into that mirror had been more so he could once again reflect and figure out what he was. Who he was. How many times after a hard mission had he just stood here, staring at himself, wondering what he could have done differently. How many times had he stood here hating the image, disgusted with the failure staring back?

Today, however, as Leo stood gazing into the reflective object, it was to wonder once more how his life had gotten so screwed up. What an abomination he was. Not only was he some sort of mutant freak, he was a mutant freak capable of reproduction when he’d thought he was male. And not only that, but he was currently pregnant with his younger sibling’s child. But what was worse than all _that_? As he looked himself in the eye, Leonardo admitted that he was in love with the bastard. Still. After that jerk took off on him to go be with another woman.

But it wasn’t all so bad, right? Even though this was probably the worst Leo had ever felt in his life, there was a payoff. By the end of this episode he’d have a baby all his own. A tiny little light of hope in his very dark world. That had to count for something.

Turning sideways, Leo stared at his profile in the mirror. He didn’t really look any different. There was no baby belly, no obvious signs one might equate with pregnancy. Hand on his lower plastron, Leo pressed lightly. Even if it didn’t look like it, he knew there was something in there. The pressure in his lower abdomen was unbelievably painful. Would he eventually balloon out? Or would he be like normal turtles? Egg somehow finding places within his body to hangout until being laid? Or worse, what if with his mutated structure, his body wasn’t actually meant to house eggs? What if he lost the baby because it had nowhere to grow?

 _Don’t you_ dare _think like that!_

What good was freaking himself out? He couldn’t let all the ‘what-ifs’ and doubts drag him down. Not right now. He’d be with the Fugitoid soon, and the professor would be able to help him, be able to give him more answers. He’d put off the freak out until he had more solid evidence of something going wrong.

In the meantime, Leo continued inspecting himself. Rubbing his stomach, he couldn’t help the small smile that came to his lips. “You gunna be a boy or girl?” he asked it quietly.

Growing up, when he was still young and naïve, Leonardo had always wanted to be a father. He’d wanted to be exactly like Sensei, which dictated that he have children to rear and train. Of course he’d have strong sons, ninja to pass on their clan legacy. But as he looked himself over, the turtle had to admit, having a girl would be nice. Strong and confident like April and Miwa.

What would Raph want? They’d never actually talked about the idea of children, neither believing that such an option was possible between them, but Leo figured his brother would want to have children one day. How could he not? Watching Raphael through the years with the little turtles they’d found? First Spike and then Chompy, it was more than clear that the hothead had a big soft spot for the little creatures. He doted on them, protected them, loved them fiercely.

Tears sprang to Leo’s eyes as he wondered how Raph would act around their child. Would he love it, adore it even half as much as his pets? Would he protect it, teach it, cherish it? Would he even be there to offer hugs and kisses? Come around for birthdays or Christmas?

If this war tour went well, there stood the very real possibility that Raphael wouldn’t want to come back to Earth. He’d promised to return after a year, but that was mostly to give the family a heads up on what he’d be doing next. If being in space went well, Leo had little doubt that his brother would propose to Mona Lisa. They’d become mates, and then they could start wondering and dreaming about children of their own.

So how would Raph react to the idea of already having a child already on the way? He just had to love the baby, he _had_ to. It hurt so badly to think about the possibility that Raphael would resent the child, would blame it as a cause that ruined his life, a possible reason for creating tension in Raph and Mona’s relationship. He could blame Leo all he wanted, but not the baby. The older turtle wasn’t sure he could handle it if Raphael hated the child.

But what if Raph _was_ excited? Would he see it as something that drove a wedge between he and Mona Lisa? What would Mona think? Despite not exactly liking the Salamandrian, if Leo were being honest, he knew that the female was a good person. In all honesty, he couldn’t quite see her as being someone to hold a grudge over a child. Maybe hold one against Leonardo, but not a child. So maybe if she was at least okay with Raphael having a child with someone else, maybe that would mean Raph would be more okay with it himself? Maybe it would mean he’d want to get to know it? Could come to love it in time?

Even if Leo couldn’t have Raph, there was a part of him – that dark, nasty, petty side he tried to hide – that felt supremely pleased in knowing that even if Mona Lisa and Raphael would marry and have children one day, it was _Leonardo_ who had given Raph a child _first._ It might have been spiteful, a rather archaic way of thinking, but the leader couldn’t help it. After all, everything Raph had to show Mona had already been showed to _Leo_ first _._ It was Leonardo who had taken Raphael’s virginity, had been the first to make love with him and help teach him the art of sex. Mona Lisa might get Raphael in the end, but Leonardo had had him _first._

“Boy or girl?” he mused out loud, once more attempting to turn away from the darkness of his mind.

Honestly, Leo didn’t care if it was a boy or girl as long as it was healthy and happy. But what would Raph want? If he could choose? Would Raphael want a strong, strapping son? Or, Leo smiled, would he want a little girl to spoil? While Leo had a feeling his brother would be good with a child no matter the sex, the idea of his brutish brother tied around the finger of a little girl warmed him immensely. He could almost see it, big boorish Raphael holding a tiny pink bundle, growling at anyone who got too close, while also cooing sweetly down at the girl.

Reaching up to wipe his eyes, Leo let out a shaky breath. “Damn.” He hadn’t even known he’d been crying.

Glancing over at the clock, he realized it was nearly ten. Time to get moving.

After readjusting his mask, he slung his bag and katana over his shoulder and carefully crept out of his bedroom. Once out in the pit, he paused, listening to make sure that there was no one up. He didn’t hear a sound, not even Donnie. The genius, he’d heard earlier, had gone to bed about two hours ago now. He was safe to move.

Stalking over to the lab, the leader took extra care to shut the doors as quietly as possible. Turning, he saw April standing outside by the Shellraiser. Ignoring her for the time being, he crept across the lab and to the medical cabinet. Taking out Donnie’s first aid box, he made sure to grab some extra bandages, some moisturizer, and even some anti-nausea medication. In case the professor said he could have it. And after a quick sweep of the rest of the cabinet, making sure he had everything they’d need, he packed his bag.

April waited patiently, and when he came to stand before her, his stomach dropped, the reality of the situation weighing heavily upon him. This was happening. This was real. He was about to run away from home.

“You ready?” April asked, voice quiet, as if speaking to a frightened kitten.

Was he ready? Could he do this? Because the moment he left, things would change forever. Nodding, he took a deep breath. “Yeah…You sure you wanna go through with this?”

He had to give her one last chance to back out. This was asking quite a bit from his friend, after all. She was having to put her own perfectly good life on hold while she helped him with his shitty one. He had to make sure she wasn’t just doing this without thought.

“Absolutely,” April replied without hesitation. “We’re in this together, remember?”

The tears came out of nowhere, but Leonardo had come to expect that his hormones would betray him and he would start crying for no reason. But he didn’t have time to be too embarrassed as April was there, hugging him close. Thankfully she seemed to understand what he was feeling, what he wanted to say without having to say it. He was immensely grateful she didn’t pry or make too much of his abysmal hormones.

When she let go, she took him by the hand, and together they walked hand in hand down the tunnel. Leonardo didn’t dare look back, couldn’t allow himself to regret what he was doing. He needed to do this, needed to do this so he could move on with his life. Tightening his hold around April’s hand, Leo took a shaky breath.

_I’m coming, Raph._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: While things may seem a little slow, it will start to pick up soon, so please be patient! As you know, we still have a lot of ground to cover. Thanks~


	9. Farm House Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leonardo and April have a heart to heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of backstory for you. Happy Friday!

It was currently just past noon and they were finally making their way out of the city and onto their grand adventure. Glancing over at the passenger seat, a sad smile came to April’s lips. Dressed in the oversized sweats she’d brought along for him, hoodie pulled up to obscure his face, Leonardo was fast asleep. The seat was nearly horizontal as he leaned back. He’d passed out almost as soon as they’d taken off. It was sort of cute, reminding her of a small child having to go on a car ride in order to fall asleep, but she knew that the turtle was extremely stressed and hadn’t been sleeping. This was usually the time he’d be sleeping anyway.

The sky was bright and sunny, and while traffic was heavy, it wasn’t as horrible as she’d thought it’d be. Hopefully they’d make it to the farm house before night. Hopefully Leo would be able to rest while out in the country as they waited for the Fugitoid. She knew Leonardo didn’t have the best memories out at the farm, and here he was once again fleeing the city, hurt and broken, out into the mountains. Hopefully, like last time, after leaving their homes behind, the leader would be able to pick himself back up, heal, and take on the world once more with determination.

As she stared out at the road, surrounded by hundreds of other cars, April’s mind wandered, taking her back over the years, trying to see if she missed something. How long had Leonardo been involved with Raph? Had there been clues? Of course, in hindsight, the more she thought about it, the clearer the brothers’ involvement with each other became. Memory of how close the two were, how they always teamed up with each other, the strange looks they gave one another that seemed to communicate so much, even the fights they got into. The more April thought about it, the more she realized how much time they’d spent together, how much like a couple they really had been.

The more traffic thinned, the more she spaced out, allowing her brain to wander to memories of the past, wishing she had understood what had happened between the brothers sooner. Maybe she could have helped. Maybe some heartache could have been spared.

Sighing, the redhead decided that there was no use dwelling on the past. She was here now and she wasn’t going to let Leonardo go through this alone.

The buzzing of her phone startled April out of her thoughts and she glanced down to see that her dad was calling. Peeking over at Leo, she decided that the turtle was out cold. With any luck a quick conversation with Dad wouldn’t wake him.

Accepting the call and turning it on speaker, April tried her best not to shout. “Hey, Dad.”

“ _Hey, April. You’re on your way?”_

“Yeah. We’re about thirty miles from the city.”

_“Traffic okay? You’ll call me when you get out to the farm?”_

Rolling her eyes, but unable to stop her smile, April nodded even if he father couldn’t see it. “Yes, Dad. I’ll shoot you a text before I go to bed, too, if that helps.”

“ _Yeah, do that,”_ Kirby said distractedly. There came a strange noise in the background, like he’d dropped something and there was a knock on the door. “ _Well…a-all right. I’ll let you get back to driving. I love you.”_

“Love you, too. Bye.”

April frowned when she was all but hung up on, but shrugged it off. Dad probably forgot about an appointment or something. Poor Dad.

As she put away her phone, April turned to find Leo hadn’t stirred. Which was surprising. She’d spent the night down in the lair enough times to know that of the turtles, Leonardo was probably the lightest sleeper. He was usually the last one to go to bed because of it, too. Well, besides Donnie, if the genius was on a roll in his lab or something. But April knew that if Donnie was loud enough, Leo didn’t get much sleep either. She’d seen him dragging on more than one occasion, claiming insomnia.

How many of those nights were really nightmares, she wondered? Raphael had told her once that Leo still suffered from horrendous nightmares more frequently than anyone would like. Before she’d believed the hothead knew because he’d heard his brother, even when Leo never said anything about it, or that the leader had actually confided in his brother. But now that she had a new understanding into the life of Fearless Leader, she wondered if Raphael only knew of the night terrors because he and Leo slept together.

Had they actually been able to _sleep_ with each other? Like, all night in the same bedroom? How hadn’t they gotten caught? Even with how strangely close they were, April had been rather blindsided at finding out that the brothers had some kind of sexual relationship. It was obvious from Leo’s behavior that he believed no one in his family had figured out or knew anything about their affair, so when they came back from space, the turtle was going to have to do a _lot_ of explaining.

This was going to be a royal mess. Despite remaining optimistic about the situation, even April had to admit that this whole episode was going to be chaotic and complicated. Honestly, she still had no idea how to make sense of this. All she knew for certain was that Leonardo had had some kind of sexual relationship with Raphael, was now pregnant, had let Raph go into space, and was still very clearly, very wretchedly in love with him.

And that’s what made it worse. It’d be one thing if Leo and Raph had just been stupid and fooled around, ignorant of the consequences, but this was more. Even if he hadn’t said a word to her about it, had been trying to present a strong front despite the circumstances, it was so obvious that Leonardo was in love with Raphael. Despite how harsh he’d been when talking of the younger turtle, despite his faux disinterest, his insistence that he wasn’t going to ask Raph to come home to help care for the baby, April knew the leader loved Raphael.

It was obvious in everything he didn’t say, all the little things he tried to hide. How when they were hanging out with the other guys, he’d sit staring off listlessly into space. How he seemed to wince ever so slightly whenever Raphael’s name was mentioned. How he would stare at his phone when he thought no one was looking. This wasn’t just about telling Raphael that he would be a father. This was about a second chance to win Raphael over.

Vowing to get the full story from her friend later, April turned her attention back to the road, mind drifting towards her own rather complicated love life.

**oOoOoOo**

Leo had slept almost the entire trip. He’d startled awake when April stopped to get gas at one point, but stayed where he was leaning back. Groggy, feeling like shit, they’d only gone a few miles after gassing up before Leo had to request that they pull over. Running into a wooded area, he spent nearly fifteen minutes throwing up. Once back inside the car and calmed down, he fell back into a restless sleep, clutching his stomach the rest of the way.

When they arrived at the farm house, the first thing April did was usher Leonardo inside, the turtle feeling miserably weak, unable to walk without some kind of support. When she laid him on the couch, he immediately curled in on himself, unable to figure out a position that would elevate the pain. The cool washrag that ended up on his forehead was refreshing, but did little to make him feel truly better.

April ended up carrying everything in from the car by herself, which only made the ninja feel worse. He wasn’t sure where the sudden pain was coming from, just knew it was here and intense. The house didn’t have electric air conditioning, but that wasn’t really a problem for Leo. As a reptile, he adored the warmth, soaking in the humidity like a sponge. The summer weather was actually one of the positives of coming up here. It was April he was worried about with the heat.

For several hours Leonardo laid on the couch, curled up with his eyes scrunched closed as he listened to his friend puttering around the house. She’d come check in on him every now and then, but thankfully left him alone in his misery. He didn’t like people getting too close when he felt bad. It only increased his anxiety and made him feel worse. Weakness was not something a turtle like him strived for. It was bad enough that she’d actually had to watch him vomit.

Eventually, slowly, the pressure in his lower abdomen lessoned into something more manageable, and Leo felt like he could at least sit up. It was a slow process, and when vertical, his head swam. He held his breath, hoping he wouldn’t start puking and closed his eyes. One, two, three minutes went by, and when he braved opening his eyes again, he felt okay. Certainly not good, but okay. His stomach was mostly settled, but he wasn’t sure he should risk standing. Just in case.

When April came in to check on him, she startled, apparently not expecting him up. “Hey,” she greeted quietly. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Leo muttered, rubbing at his forehead.

“Let me go get you some water. I’ll be right back.”

As April scurried away, Leo leaned back into the couch, wishing there was something he could do to get rid of the pressure he felt building up inside of him. Maybe stretching would help? Or a hot bath or something? It didn’t quite feel like he was gassy, but it felt like there was intense pressure on his innards. Like his shell was going to pop off soon.

“Here.” April arrived and handed him a large glass of water which he took gratefully. She sat beside him and took his hand. “How you holding up?”

“I’m just glad the Fugitoid will be here tomorrow,” he sighed. “I hope he can do something about…this.” He gestured down to his problematic plastron.

“I’m sure he’ll have ideas on how to help,” the kunoichi assured before pausing. Leo glanced over at her, taking in her uncomfortable expression and waiting for her to say her piece. From the look of it, he wasn’t going to like it very much. “Leo,” she began carefully. “Can I ask about – I mean, will you tell me about you and Raph? About how you two got…together?”

It wasn’t an unexpected request. In fact, the ninja leader was actually surprised it had taken his friend this long to ask. April was a naturally curious soul, always had a million questions in her back pocket. Thankfully, however, she was also blessed with the tact to know when and where to ask them. But even though talking about his sorry life didn’t exactly appeal to Leonardo at the moment – or _ever_ – it was the least he could do after everything April was doing and willing to do for him.

Sighing, feeling a migraine coming on, he tried to make himself as comfortable as possible as he began his tale. “Well, do you remember that night a while back when we had that party when Sensei was out? The one where everyone got shitfaced and had massive hangovers?”

April made a sound halfway between a snort and a gasp as she stared at him disbelieving. “ _That_ long ago?” she gaped incredulously. “Leo that was _three years_ ago! You’re telling me you and Raph have had some kind of… _thing_ for _three_ years? And no one knew?”

Not sure if he should be ashamed or take some kind of pride in taking her by surprise, the turtle nodded. “That’s what I’m telling you.”

“So. Okay. Wait.” She held up a hand as she processed the new information. “So you and Raph hooked up after that party?”

Leo hesitated before deciding to be completely truthful. What could it hurt? She already knew at one point they’d fucked and Leo got pregnant because of it. Her opinion of him really couldn’t get much lower. “Kind of during.” April blinked. “It was when everyone passed out. Raph and I were the only ones left awake.”

The wheels were turning in the redhead’s mind as she thought back to that disjointed, crazy night. Unlike everyone else – save Leonardo – April had been the only one that hadn’t gotten completely plastered. She’d drank heavily, but managed to cut herself off before the blackout point. The others hadn’t been so lucky.

“Okay. That’s not so bad. I mean, everyone’s gotten drunk and made out with someone at a party before. No big deal.”

Leo eyed his friend for a moment, curiosity distracting him from his pathetic confession. “You’ve made out with someone while drunk at a party before?”

April’s blush was almost as red as her hair. “So? I mean, it happens, right? No big deal. Just a stupid learning experience.”

“Is that why you never drink much?” A thought popped into the turtle’s head that had him smirking. “Was it Casey?”

“MOVING ON!” The human was refusing to look at him now, and it honestly made Leo feel a little better. At least he wasn’t the only one to have made bad choices in his life. “So you got drunk and made out with Raph.”

Now it was Leo’s turn to flush, and even though it was embarrassing to admit, what did he have to lose? He was tired of carrying this secret by himself. “I… didn’t have that much to drink.”

“Hold up,” April paused as she processed the news. “Are you trying to tell me you made out with Raph _sober_? How –? Wait, so he was drunk – did he push himself on you?”

It wasn’t a memory Leonardo liked to dwell on. While it was true that it had been the start of many wonderful moments between Leo and his brother, it also marked the beginning of what was currently screwing him over royally. And that first night hadn’t exactly been rose petals and erotic ecstasy from some crappy romance novel. It had been a night of confusion and anxiety. In those first few days after, he’d nearly had panic attacks whenever he and Raph were in the same _room_. It had taken them _weeks_ to figure out how to deal with one another after that night.

But knowing April was waiting for an answer, he admitted slowly, “Yes. Well – sort of…i-it’s…complicated.”

Thankfully April knew about complicated romances – or wanna be romances – and took the answer for what it was worth. Nodding, she tucked a stray hair behind her ear. “Okay, so you and Raph had a weird make out session while he was drunk. No biggy. But what led to the…ah…sex part?”

She was blushing again, and Leonardo knew he wasn’t much better. Taking a deep breath, hoping that after admitting to everything he’d actually start feeling a little better, he confessed, “We…uh…d-didn’t just make out that night. We sort of…had sex. On the couch.”

Now she stared at him with her mouth wide open. “Shut the fuck up,” she breathed. “No way! We were all, like, right _there_!”

“I know!” Leo thought his face was going to explode he was so embarrassed and ashamed, remembering how scared he was of the others hearing them, even if they’d been passed out in other rooms. “But everyone was so drunk and didn’t wake up, and Raph was too smashed to worry about anything else at the time, and I…I-I mean, I wasn’t exactly in a position to tell him to stop.”

An uncomfortable silence followed the confession, and it seemed neither friend knew exactly what to say or do. Now that he’d spilled the beginnings of his messed up love life, Leo began reevaluating having said anything at all. Clearly April was disgusted. It was one thing to be told that someone was in a relationship, but to hear about the details…Was she rethinking her involvement in his personalize soap opera? Did she want to bail now that it finally sunk in just how screwed up all of this was?

But instead of pulling away, April sat with a thoughtful look on her face, before it morphed into pity. The turtle wasn’t sure if that expression was better or not. “Let me see if I’ve got this,” she began, much calmer than before. “Raph got into this because he was completely hammered. You didn’t drink much because you wanted there to be someone sober in case of an emergency. So that means you slept with Raph because…?”

Of course April would get to the crux of it, to the very question Leonardo had never truly been able to figure out himself. Or at least would admit. Why had he let Raph just throw him down and plow into him? At one time he’d tried to blame it on the fact that Raph was stronger than he was, that he was too afraid to hurt his younger brother in his intoxicated state by trying to stop him, that by the time he could actually move and Raph wasn’t pinning him down, it was too late anyway. Another part of Leo blamed instinct, blamed the hormones and heated scent that had crept up without them ever having realized what was happening, driving them into a frenzy.

But those were all excuses. Leo had had plenty of time to stop it. He could have stopped it. _Should_ have stopped it. But…

But even if he hadn’t known it back then, even if it had taken him almost a year to admit it after that night, Leonardo had come to realize how deeply he cared for his brother. How much he actually…

Sighing, the turtle rubbed his face. He didn’t like using the ‘L’ word. It hurt when he actively thought about it. About how far in he was, only to have to watch as Raph walked away, focusing all his time and attention on someone else. He’d listened in on a few of his younger brother’s calls to Mona Lisa before he left. He stood by the door listening in as the turtle he loved vowed eternal devotion to the alien. Love was supposed to work two ways, or that’s what he had always been told. Obviously no one had ever bothered to correct him. Leo had never truly realized how empty and sad and agonizing love could be when the other half of your soul didn’t reciprocate the feelings.

“You love him, don’t you?” April’s whisper brought some bitter comfort in that he wouldn’t have to say the word.

Tears in his eyes, Leo turned to stare at the far wall. “I’m such an idiot.”

“No,” she denied instantly. “No you’re not.”

“I should have never agreed to do this with him,” he ranted, too upset to stop. “I knew he wasn’t even interested in me, that he was just using me as practice, but I…I don’t know. I guess I thought he’d come around, that he’d l-love me if I just tried hard enough.”

A fierce expression crossed the young woman’s face, and it looked as if she was capable of storming away to bring Raphael back herself to fillet him alive. But visibly pushing her anger aside, April hugged Leo close, stroking the back of his head. Closing his eyes, the leader tried to imagine he was in the arms of his lover. It didn’t work.

“You deserve _so much better_ than the way he’s treated you, Leo.” He couldn’t hold off the tears anymore. “You are more than just a practice dummy.”

Burying his face into her neck, Leo clung to April helplessly as he was once more consumed with despair. “What didn’t I do?” he whispered. “What did I do _wrong_?”

“Nothing,” she snarled, crushing him closer still. “You did _nothing_ wrong. You shouldn’t have had to do anything.”

This had to stop. Leo knew he couldn’t keep breaking down like this, but it was getting so hard. Every day he felt the bitter pangs of rejection. This had to stop if he was ever going to move on. He needed to accept this, truly accept it, if he was ever going to be free. If he was ever going to live again.

“I-I think I need to meditate,” he whispered, pulling away.

April’s eyes were wet as she stared with concern at her friend. “Okay. Let me know if you need anything.”

“Thank you.”

Giving his friend’s hand a squeeze, Leo stood shakily and walked from the house. The evening was warm and fragrant, giving him the space and air he needed. Knowing it wouldn’t be smart for him to stray too far from the house, he found a nice place under a tree, the woods just beyond, and sat. Dusk gave way to night, but he didn’t notice. Taking several deep breaths, ignoring the pain in his abdomen, Leo tried to detach himself from his troubled mind and glimpse the worlds beyond. He did not notice the black glittering eyes keeping silent vigil over his meditation.


	10. Professor Honeycutt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo and April are beamed up and meet the Fugitoid.

“Welcome, my friends! It is so good to see you!”

Dizzily stepping from the transporter pad, Leo braced himself for the hug that crushed him into metal arms and pressed tightly against April. The sensation was unpleasant and certainly nauseating. In fact, the beam up had been disorienting enough that the sudden pull began to make him feel –

“I-I’m gunna –”

“Look out!” April warned, pushing the professor back in time to catch Leo as he leaned forward and proceeded to puke all over the transporter pad. Fucking glorious.

“Oh dear!” the android cried, rushing off before coming back with a space helmet. “Goodness! Leonardo, are you unwell?”

Barfing into a space helmet was usually Raph’s thing, but feeling the slight thrumming of the ship as they left orbit, the disorienting sensation of having his particle disassembled and then reassembled was enough to have him lose it. Which was unfair considering he’d made sure to eat a very light breakfast of mild fruits and toast just for the occasion. Unfortunately for him, he was not only revisiting his meal-time choices, but throwing up also caused the tightness of his plastron to send waves of agony rebounding through him.

When the retching stopped, giving way to dry heaving, Leonardo felt himself being moved out of the transporter room and into the medical bay. The Fugitoid was carrying most of his weight, but April was also helping the turtle along as best as she could. Once there, they helped set him up on an examination table, the harsh light from the white room causing Leo to squeeze his eyes shut.

“My, my,” the Fugitoid was fretting. “I wonder what this is all about? I’ll do a full examination –”

“Before you start,” April spoke up, Leo grateful as he didn’t trust himself to speak, “we know what this is. It’s partially why we came to you.”

Despite having a digital face, somehow the android managed to look concerned. “Did something happen? Were you poisoned?”

It was a logical enquiry considering their lifestyle. Since the professor wasn’t completely ignorant of the issues rising within the Foot via Donatello, and knew about their past dealings with the other ninja faction, it was easy to believe that if one of the brothers was unwell – whether poisoned or otherwise – it would have something to do with the Foot. But as Leo laid on the table, wishing he wasn’t in the room for the explanation, he waited for the dishonorable truth to immerge.

“No,” April denied, and lowering her voice, she continued, “He’s actually, umm, pregnant.”

There was a pause, Leo waiting with baited breath for the disgust and outrage to follow. But as he counted down the seconds, there was little emotion in the reply. “Gravid.”

Cracking open an eye, Leo stared at the automaton just as April sputtered, “What?”

“ _Gravid,_ ” the professor stressed. “Turtles become gravid, not necessarily pregnant. Gravid is used specifically for animals who lay eggs, while pregnant is used for mamm –”

Leo pushed himself up, unable to keep quiet. “Are you kidding me?” The automaton startled at his sudden exclamation. “April tells you I’m pregnant, and the first thing you do is correct _terminology_?”

“It is important to be accurate,” Professor Honeycutt replied smartly, reminding the turtle too much of his younger brother. “But I suppose I was being rather inconsiderate of your feelings. Forgive me. Congratulations are in order. Congratulations, Leonardo! Do you know when you will be expecting to lay? Or I suppose you could technically have a live birth considering the human DNA that’s–”

“You’re not surprised?” it was April’s turn to interrupt. “You do realize it’s not…you know, common for guys to be pregnant – er – ‘gravid,’ right?”

Leonardo sat up a little more, holding his lower plastron, as he waited for the answer. Such a clinical reaction to his predicament wasn’t exactly something he’d anticipated. “Of course it’s not,” the professor agreed easily still clearly confused over their own reactions to his. “But considering the unique make up from your mutation,” he nodded to Leo, “it’s not an impossible outcome. The universe is full of many ambiguities yet to be explained. This is but another wonderful and fascinating mystery!”

And this was why Leo liked Professor Honeycutt. Even if he was odd and a little spastic at times, the turtle realized he shouldn’t have anticipated the worst of the android’s response to something like this. After all, he was essentially a robot with a functioning and sustained humanoid brain. The Fugitoid would know all about puzzling miracles.

Turning fully to Leonardo, the android continued to beam, placing a hand on the ninja’s shoulder. “Congratulations, Leonardo,” he said a little more sincerely. “May I ask how far along you are?”

Weirded out that this was being treated as if it weren’t that big of a deal, but trying not to freak himself out, Leo took as deep of a breath as he could, before replying. “I’m not completely sure. I-I’d guess only a month or two. This is all part of the reason we asked you to pick us up.”

“The other being?”

Holding his breath, the turtle forced himself to reply, “We also need to find Raph. I-I need to talk to him.”

Once more the android paused, as if processing the request, before his digital eyes widened. “Oh! I see. Is Raphael the father?”

It was slightly disconcerting how quickly the professor had been able to make the connection, but then again, why else would Leo show up like this and disrupt Raph’s tour? And besides, it wasn’t like Leo had been at his best when Raphael had gone. In this case, with how little the Fugitoid knew about their circumstances, he could actually put the pieces together more clearly than his brothers, who witnessed all the fights between the two eldest and watched Raph fawn over Mona’s messages to distract them from the truth. Or at least, Leo hoped they’d been distracted.

Once more feeling too much, emotions ready to burst, the turtle turned to stare down at his plastron. “He, uh, y-yeah. He is.”

If the professor was inwardly disapproving, it certainly didn’t show on his face, which was probably the only thing keeping the ninja from having another panic attack. “I see,” the android nodded. “Well, I assume Raphael does not know yet?”

“He doesn’t,” Leo muttered, once again feeling ashamed.

April came forward and place a hand on the turtle’s shoulder, the simple touch grounding him, reminding him that he wasn’t alone. He still had support. “Leo wants to tell him about the baby in person,” she explained quietly.

“Perfectly understandable,” the Fugitoid quickly reassured, probably realizing he was coming off impersonal again. “Of course I’ll do what I can to arrange it with the Salamandrians, but I warn you, it will take time for a message to be sent to him, as well as for him to be sent to meet us.”

“Of course,” April moved her hand to rub Leo’s shell. “We planned to be out here for a month or so.”

“Good, good,” the professor nodded. “Now then, would you permit me to take a blood sample, Leonardo? I can run some basic tests while you rest in one of the rooms.”

“Yeah. That sounds good,” Leo agreed, pushing himself more upright, swinging his legs over the edge.

“Once you’re more rested, when you’re ready, we can do a more thorough examination if you’d like,” Professor Honeycutt offered. “In the meantime, I’ll attempt to contact Salamandria.”

Leo nodded, feeling his attention slipping away. He was tired. Which was stupid considering he’d slept quite a bit the night before. There was no reason for him to be like this already. Not like he’d actually done anything. But then again, throwing up and having to admit his darkest secret over and over again in the past few days took a lot out of him.

After having his blood taken, Leo stood and left the medical bay. He wanted to go grab his bags from the transporter room, clean up the mess he’d made, but April caught up to him and steered him towards the rooms instead. She promised to get his bags, which made him feel worse, considering he didn’t like having everyone do everything for him like he was some damn invalid. He should have been able to carry his own stupid stuff!

But there was no arguing with April when she got like this. He could see the resolution in her eyes. Stubborn girl. So instead, he went automatically to the same room he’d stayed in when they’d taken Raph to Mona, and fell onto the bed. Everything was changed, the sheets washed and clean, and even though he tried, he couldn’t detect a trace of Raphael’s scent.

When April returned, she set his bag down near the end of the bed and handed him the pillow he’d brought. Snatching it from her, Leo closed his eyes and decided a short nap wouldn’t hurt. He was feeling heavy. “You won’t let me sleep too long, right?”

“How about an hour or so?” she asked gently.

“That’s fine,” he turned his shell away from her, just wanting to be alone.

When he felt the weight on the bed shift and heard the door slide closed, Leo buried his face into the pillow, hugging it close as he took in the remains of his lover’s scent. Just a little longer. Maybe another few weeks and he’d see Raphael again. Silently promising himself to meditate later so he could begin preparation for seeing the bastard, he fell into nightmare.

**oOoOoOo**

Once Leonardo was safely tucked away to nap, April wandered through the ship until she found Professor Honeycutt on the bridge. At his normal station, the girl casually made her way over to the android, not quite sure what it was she wanted to say, just knowing she needed to speak.

“Sooo…” she began, rubbing her arm as indecision struck. “You’re really not weirded out by Leo’s… uh… predicament?”

After finishing typing a sequence into the computer, the android turned towards the human. “Why would I be ‘weirded out’?” he asked in genuine confusion. “I find this situation completely remarkable, and am honestly quite thrilled for Leonardo and Raphael. I had no idea their physiology is apparently so malleable.”

While relieved that the android was so calm about all this, April was curious. “Have you seen something like this happen before?”

“What specifically are you asking?” the automation asked as he turned back towards the console as a light flashed.

The girl pause, trying to put into words the illusive thoughts and feelings surrounding the drama. “Well, I guess I mean have you ever encountered a guy suddenly getting preg – er – gravid?”

There was a slight pause as the Fugitoid wrapped up whatever he was doing, before turning back to the human. “While it does not occur in humans, and very rarely in other species on your planet –most commonly in amphibians – such situations are hardly uncommon across the universe. However, I’ve found in my research that such instances are more prevalent in amphibious, reptilian, and invertebrate species.”

“So this isn’t all that uncommon.” April continued to digest the information. “But you know, this kind of thing isn’t all that…ya know, normal for turtles… on Earth, I mean.”

“Well considering Leonardo and his brothers are mutated with a substance that is alien in origin, such discrepancies in what might be considered within the norms on your planet should be expected,” he replied evenly.

Walking around to the front and towards her old station, April sat down, mulling the words over. She’d already thought of stuff like this before, had been trying to rationalize what was going on with her friend. But it was nice to hear someone else – someone a little more qualified than her random guesses – with the same conclusions. It reassured her that Leo would get the sort of help he needed.

Smiling, staring out the front viewer and into the black abyss dotted with stars, April hummed. “I know Leo will probably say it later when he’s feeling better, but I want to thank you for helping him. He’s been going through such a rough patch – I’m grateful you took this so well.”

The android paused, staring up at the girl, cocking his head to the side, as if confused. “Of course! As I said, I’m quite thrilled for Leonardo. It always saddened me to think that the turtles would be the first and only of their species on Earth. They are truly remarkable! A perfect blend of human and turtle physiology, a culture all their own. It would be a shame to have that culture simply end before it truly began. I’m pleased that their kind will last at least one more generation. It would be a grave loss to the universe if they simply disappeared.”

That was something April hadn’t really thought much about. Not because it hadn’t crossed her mind, but because there’d been no time. Thus far this entire situation had been spent trying not to freak out and keep Leonardo calm while also making plans to meet up with Raph. It had yet to truly sink in that not only were her friends becoming parents, they were perpetuating their _species_.

While it had never been spoken out loud in mutant company, both April and Casey had long ago come to the realization that once their turtle friends were gone, they were _gone_. It had been so shocking, April having been about seventeen at the time when the reality sunk in. The turtles were _it_. They were the first and last of their kind. There would never be mutant ninja turtles ever again. In fact, the majority of mutants on Earth would die out in a generation.

The boys never spoke of this fact, but she’d come to realize that it weighed on them all. They were freaks to society, would either be ostracized or hunted down and experimented on should anyone learn of their existence. Not only could they not participate in the basics of what society had to offer, they could never honestly make a real go at expanding their own prospects. Their options for relationships of any kind were scarce, as well as any hope of creating families of their own. Of course they created strong familial ties with each other and some other mutants, but they could not create their _own_ family.

That possibility had expanded, however, when the turtles first went to the surface. It’s why Donnie was so obsessed with April. He saw what must have looked like his only chance at finding love and jumped on it, clinging to it with the desperation of a drowning man. It was probably why Leo initially couldn’t let go of Karai, why Mikey flirted with just about every new girl they came in contact with. It was definitely why Raph had gone out into space with Mona Lisa. But of the turtles, Raphael had always had the greatest chance of success. Because unlike his brothers, Raph had turned his back on humanity and focused his attention on someone more like himself.

Which suddenly had April realizing that Raphael was the only brother that had never shown any form of interest in a human whatsoever. Mikey acted like the typical teenage boy when women were about, and Donnie hung on April from the very beginning. While Leonardo had never seemed particularly sexual, his interest in Miwa had at least given away the fact that he found humans attractive. But Raph never had. His first obvious sexual interest had been Mona Lisa, and now that she thought about it, Leonardo had apparently been on the hothead’s spectrum as well. While it shouldn’t have been surprising, it still amazed her that Raph didn’t find humans attractive. He wasn’t ‘human-sexual’ or whatever they wanted to call it.

Knowing this suddenly made Leonardo and Raphael’s current situation more understandable. If Raph had grown up never having found humans attractive, it meant that unlike his brothers, he’d have had to look elsewhere to develop his sexuality. Before they went to the surface they hadn’t known any other mutants, either. Unlike his brothers who had the television to ogle at others, Raph developed – whether consciously or not – an interest in others more like himself. And since he only had his father and brothers to look to…

Of the mutants, Leonardo was honestly the most logical choice for Raphael. Donatello wore him out and pissed him off because of all his techo-science mumbo-jumbo babble. Michelangelo wore him out and pissed him off because of his babble in general. While Leonardo wore him out and pissed him off, it was in a different way. Leonardo provided something the big turtle needed: a challenge. Leo was smart – not too smart like Donnie – and he could certainly have some fun – but not get out of control like Mikey. Leo was naturally calm, logical, but compassionate. For someone as pessimistic and hotheaded as Raphael, such a person would definitely be attractive on a basic level.

That attraction had apparently won out. It only took one drunken night and Raphael was all over Leonardo. April knew Raphael, and knew when he decided to pursue anything, it was passionately. After the initial night with Leo, he’d kept going back, long enough and often enough that Leonardo, someone generally disinterest in romance, had fallen hopelessly in love. If Leo could fall in love, it should have been a given that Raph would have crumbled _first_.

But he hadn’t. Instead of building on what he’d created with Leo, strengthening it, he’d destroyed it the first chance he’d gotten and burned all the bridges along the way. It seemed unbelievably cruel to April, to ditch the person you’d been sleeping with for _three years_ in order to take a chance with a girl across the universe. But besides that odd display of true callousness, April had to wonder why Raphael just up and went. Was it really because he thought he loved Mona Lisa more? Was it because he found her more attractive? From what April saw, it appeared as though he’d had some kind of attraction to Leo _longer_ , possibly even having had a crush on him when they were young. So why, after finally getting Leo, would he just…go?

There were a multitude of reasons why Leo feared his family’s reaction, which meant that those same fears had to have crossed Raph’s mind at one point or another. But even still, why had he run off? Was it his first opportunity? Was it because he sensed something in Leo? Had Leo demanded more of a commitment? Had Mona Lisa? What would Mona even think when she found out about Raph cheating on her with Leo? How would she react to the news of a baby?

In this whole scheme, April hadn’t thought much of the Salamandrian, and she felt a sudden wash of sympathy for the other female. Bad enough to learn that your boyfriend had been messing around with someone else, but that he was going to be a _father_? That would be rough. And even if she did forgive Raph, stayed with him, there was no way Mona could ever forget his infidelity. There’d be a trust broken between them that would be extremely difficult to fix, if it ever was. Poor Mona might end up doubting Raphael for the rest of her life.

Not for the first time in recent days, April found herself cursing Raphael for the entire mess. While she didn’t have all the details, his side of the story wasn’t looking so good no matter what angle she spun. He was her friend, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t be pissed as hell at him. How Leo managed not to have called his brother up and screamed at him by now was beyond her.

“Well, I’ve sent off our request to orbit around Salamandria,” the Fugitoid announced, startling April from her musings. She hadn’t realized just how much she’d been spacing out.

“Oh. We need a request to do that?” she frowned.

“Since they are at war and leery of everyone at the moment, yes,” the android replied. “If our request is accepted, once we get there, it will be much easier to track and get ahold of Raphael to request a meeting.”

While she knew it would be difficult, this was turning out to be more complicated than April had originally thought. She hoped Raph would at least feel some guilt for all the trouble they were going through just to _talk_ to him. Idiot should have just answered his damn phone!

“Now,” the professor clapped his metal hands together. “Why don’t we go begin those tests?”

Nodding, the human followed the android off the bridge and to the med-bay. She really hoped that he would be able to help Leonardo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> QUICK POLL:  
> Would any of you be interested in a side story, a sort of War Journal of Raph's time in the military? Again, I stress it would be a side story, meaning it will be short little snippets and won't necessarily be my main focus, but something that could be fun. 
> 
> Thoughts?


	11. Looking to Tomorrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Fugitoid manages to help Leonardo feel better and gives him something to look forward to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For BotCp - because I found out its her birthday >:) 
> 
> Also, I've posted my side story about Raph in the army, entitled "Without You". Check it out if you'd like. :)

When Leonardo woke, it was in excruciating pain. Groaning, he turned over on his side, clutching at his stomach as he willed the nausea to go away. Throwing up now would only make things worse, and even with his mind still blurry with sleep, he knew he didn’t have a bowl or a trashcan near to use.

A strange tittering sound rang throughout the room, but he wasn’t in the best state of mind to care where it was coming from or wonder what it was. His full concentration was on willing the pain and sickness to go away. That was his only prerogative. The annoying chiming could wait.

A _swoosh_ noise and quiet footfalls soon followed. It was only when he felt the bed dip down that Leo managed to peek open an eye. He caught enough of a view to know it was April. And when he saw her, he remembered where he was and knew what the sounds he’d been hearing must have been.

“Hey,” April whispered, a hand instantly going to rub his shell. “Why don’t we go to the Fugitoid?” she urged gently. “See if he can help?”

He might have shaken his head if the movement wouldn’t have caused him great distress, but as it was, he continued to lay there, wishing he was psychic like April so he could tell her wordlessly that moving wasn’t an option. At least not at the moment. He needed a few minutes to not only allow his stomach to settle, but for that pressured pain to pass.

Thankfully April seemed to get the picture without any psychic powers, and waited with him for what had to be about twenty minutes. When he thought the worst was behind, only then did Leo open his eyes as he panted. He’d at some point broken out into a sweat, and now he was shivering from the cool air of the ship. A few more minutes passed and he carefully sat up, April helping him. He wanted to take a deep breath, but decided against it, not wishing the pain to return. So instead, he moved slowly as he swung his legs over the bed and stood on shaky legs.

“There you go,” the human murmured, and carefully walked with the turtle out onto the bridge where the Fugitoid was manning his station.

“Ah! Hello, Leonardo,” he greeted amiably.

It was far too cheerful for the turtle at the moment, but crossing his arms to stave off the chill, he greeted the android. “Hey.”

Walking over to the pair, the professor gave off a strangely sympathetic aura that embarrassed Leo. “I’ve already told April, but I’ll let you know, I’ve sent off a communique to Salamandria requesting permission to orbit and beam down to the planet. It will take a bit before they’re able to respond and give clearance.”

“Will they give clearance?” Leonardo hadn’t thought about the possibility of such obstacles. He was ashamed to admit, but he’d been rather single minded recently, simply wanting to tell Raph about the baby and be on his way so that he could turn his mind towards preparation for the child. In his rashness, he’d forgotten the detail that Salamandria was technically at war – hence the war tour – and would probably not want to welcome random ships coming in or around the home planet.

“I’m certain they will once they realize that it is me, and what we wish to accomplish,” the professor assured. “They may make us wait a while before we’re allowed to beam down onto the planet, but I do not believe they will dismiss us completely, especially once they learn that it is family that is trying to reach one of the warriors.

“In the meantime,” Honeycutt continued, “I believe that we should run some tests on you, Leonardo. I’ve run the basic scans, and despite what I would assume to be some rather nasty morning sickness and needing to gain weight, you’re fairly healthy. Once we get to the medical bay, we can get a better look to see what else needs to be checked.”

Leo shivered in the cold air, wishing for the summer heat of the farm house. “I’ve got abdomen pain, too,” the turtle admitted, miserable enough that he wanted it taken care of like yesterday.

“We can take a look at that as well,” the android nodded. “Why don’t we go now? Sooner is better than later!”

With April hoovering near, the three left the bridge, Leo still shivering, before they made it to the equally cold medical bay. Even while miserable, he was fairly proud of himself for not having gotten sick yet. It was quite an accomplishment nowadays. Once leaning back, he closed his eyes, not really wanting to see what the professor was doing as he poked and prodded. He was too tired to be embarrassed about anything at the moment. He just wanted relief.

“What does the pain feel like, Leonardo?” the android asked as he gently pressed his fingers along the turtle’s plastron.

Sucking in a sharp breath, Leo counted to ten before answering. “I feel bloated,” he reported shortly.

The metal hands were hovering over the bridges between plastron and shell. Peeking open blue eyes showed that the automaton seemed particularly interested in them. The professor was oddly quiet as he inspected the area, eyes changing from their normal orange to blue and back a few times rapidly. It was a sign that he was connecting and interfacing with the computers.

“Can you relieve the pressure?” April asked, doing her best to keep the anxiousness from her voice, but the turtle heard it anyway.

“I believe I can,” the Fugitoid nodded, before turning away to retrieve some strange tool.

It resembled an ice scrapper and a small chisel at the same time, and definitely didn’t look like something anyone should want near them. But having survived Donnie poking around on them all their lives, conducting experiments on them as he tried to solve the mysteries that were their bodies, Leo decided it could have been worse. Hell, fighting evil ninja, monsters, and aliens prepared him for the catastrophic. But with as much pain as he was currently in, it did leave him rather apprehensive as he eyed the tool.

“Now, this may hurt a bit,” the android warned as he picked up a small rubber mallet from his work table as well.

Attempting to keep his heartrate steady and not get too excited so as to become sick, Leo asked as calmly as he could, “What are you going to do?”

Giving his bridges one last glance over, the Fugitoid explained, “It would appear that there are sections of your bridge that have the ability to ‘disconnect’ as it were.”

“Disconnect?” April frowned dubiously.

“Perhaps that was the wrong word,” the professor amended. “Perhaps ‘unlatch’ would be a better term. If I’m not mistaken, I would guess that your baby is developing faster than your human counterparts,” he explained while placing the tool against Leo’s bridge. “Your plastron appears far more flexible than I’d once believed, which suggests that as the child grows, so will you.”

 _Great,_ Leo groaned to himself, but didn’t speak out loud. He wasn’t sure what he’d really wanted, but the thought of getting fat was definitely not appealing. It meant getting back into shape would be that much more difficult after.

“I believe you should be showing by now, but you’re not,” the android continued. “It would explain the extreme pressure build up you’re feeling. It appears that these sections in your bridge should have ‘unlatched’ to help ease this pressure as your plastron continues to soften and ready itself for future curvature.”

It was all making sense…in a really weird way. “So you’re going to ‘unlatch’ my bridges?” he asked a little warily.

“On the count of three!” the android chirped. “Brace yourself. One. Two. Three!”

As the small mallet hit the ice scrapper, Leo let out a shout, not expecting the sharp pain. He thought it would be a dull sort of ache like being hit with a fist, not this stabbing sensation. He felt April immediately take his hand, giving him something to hold on to rather than just the table.

After the first hit, something did give, and it felt like something popped. It sounded like bone cracking, which didn’t make him feel all that great. But after that first hit, the professor didn’t need to do it again on the same side as Leo felt another section of his bridge ‘pop’.

Gasping, Leo clenched his teeth, trying not to move too much despite wanting to wreathe on the table. But as he struggled to cope with the pain, and as the android moved around the table to the other side, the turtle was vaguely aware of an awkward, lopsided feeling. Like one side was tilted.

“I’m g-gunna barf,” he groaned.

“Once more,” Professor Honeycutt encouraged with obvious regret.

As he once more chiseled at a section of bridge, April left to quickly retrieve something for Leo to vomit into. Just in time, because when the android was done, the second ‘pop’ occurring almost immediately after the first, the turtle leaned over the edge and threw up with the waste bin still in April’s hands.

After a torturous few minutes, Leo was shaking, having broken out into a cold sweat, before he was assisted in leaning back. He was gulping down air, mouth open to assist in the effort. That had been a lot worse than he’d imagined.

“There we are,” he heard the professor soothe. “All over. You won’t have to do that again.”

“Thank God,” April muttered as she took to holding Leo’s hand again.

Leo wanted to snort, to give some snarky comment to the effect that he would never do that again even if he had to, but came to notice one very great detail. He could _breathe_. And it didn’t hurt! Well, his sides ached and throbbed, but he felt like he could actually expand his lungs again! The pressure in his lower plastron was receding. Perhaps the problem really had been fixed.

“Shit,” he muttered, relieved that this issue had been solved, but not exactly feeling charitable towards anyone at the moment either.

A sudden bright light was over him, and after initially shrinking back, the turtle sighed as he felt heat raining down on him in glorious waves. “There we are,” there was a smile in the Fugitoid’s robotic voice. “You rest as I see to the swelling.”

Honestly, Leo no longer cared what was going to happen or what the professor did. It couldn’t be worse than popping his bridges, and with the warmth, he felt his muscles relax. This is what he wanted. Just to rest and be warm and to _breathe_.

As he lounged in the blessed heat, the ninja didn’t really listen when April and the professor were talking. His focus was on enjoying the warmth. Only when he felt something being pressed against his plastron did the turtle rouse, bothering to open his eyes. He hadn’t realized he had been drifting. “What?” he mumbled, not even sure what he was asking by that.

“Simply checking the thickness of the plastron,” came the robotic reply.

“Why?”

Not that Leo was all that interested right now. After the ordeal, he was ready to go back to sleep despite having just woken up about an hour or so ago. Throwing up was always a chore.

“I need to recalibrate the frequencies for the transducer probe and pulse controls for the ultrasound so that the central processing unit will be able to make correct calculations so that we’ll get a clear image.”

It was a whole lot of medical jargon that the turtle wasn’t ready to translate in his exhausted state, but he’d managed to latch onto one word in particular. “Ultrasound? As in…as in we can see the baby?”

Now much more awake, Leo sat up slightly, wincing at the throbbing in his sides, but focused on the android. Of course the professor seemed pleased that he’d managed to catch someone’s attention as he explained anything to do with science, he was already ‘smiling.’ “Oh yes!” he nodded. “I just have to make some slight adjustments to accommodate the thickness of your plastron, but we should be able to get a clearer picture of what is going on, as it were.”

“Oh.”

That was something he hadn’t truly considered either. While it was common practice for physicians to use an ultrasound machine to check on the unborn child, Leonardo hadn’t actually stopped to consider this for himself. Sure, he’d read in all the books and magazines April had given him about ultrasounds, about how happy mothers were whenever they first saw their child. But the turtles had long ago gotten used to the idea that they would never have everything humans did. As humans gushed over the latest technology, the mutants knew there was no point in wishing for the tech. At least until someone threw it out. If a human broke a bone, they went to a clean, completely sterile hospital where they had a million and three tests conducted after x-rays just to be sure there was nothing else wrong. The turtles would go to Donnie, have the genius feel over the wound, before he simply reset the bone and bound it. Despite Donatello’s best efforts, it was hard to get his hands on big equipment such as ultrasound, and even if he tried, there was a priorities list. Something told Leonardo that Donnie would never think to get something in which to see unborn children.

But now that he was apparently going to get as close to the human experience level of care, the turtle shifted as he stared down in awe at his plastron. While he hadn’t thought about seeing the baby, now that the thought had been put in his head, he was desperate to have a look. It was one thing to sense it, to know it was there, but to actually have a glimpse?

A slight smile ghosted his lips as he ran a hand down his stomach. “Can we look now?”

There was a pause that had the turtle finally looking up. The Fugitoid was staring at him with his own version of a sad or apologetic expression. “It has been a rather trying day for you, Leonardo, and while I’ll be happy to do a post checkup on you after having worked on the bridges between shell and plastron, why don’t we hold off on the ultrasound?” The young mutant’s face fell. “At least until tomorrow,” the android amended. “So much excitement in one day might not be good for you.”

“Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense,” Leo nodded, but was still a little disappointed.

 _Patience_ , he scolded himself. He could wait another couple of hours. Wasn’t like he’d been dying to get to this point. He hadn’t even known he’d get to see the little one before it was born anyway, so he could stand to wait a bit longer.

“In the meantime,” the professor continued, “why don’t you lay back and let the heat lamp do its work while I give you a quick checkup? Apply salve to your sides?”

As the Fugitoid turned to get more equipment for his checkup, April smiled down at Leo, stroking the back of his hand. “You feeling okay now? The pressure?”

“It’s let up,” he admitted, wanting to touch his sides, but afraid to upset the tender areas. “The bridges are sore,” he admitted.

“Well, yeah. That didn’t look pleasant,” the human snorted, causing the turtle to smile. “Hopefully you’ll be able to breathe easier, now.”

“At least until I start to get fat and the baby will press against my ribcage or something.”

It was a possibility he’d read about in one of the pregnancy books. Apparently the larger one became, the harder it was to not only walk, but breathe. After feeling like he’d been suffocating at only several weeks, he wasn’t eager for that prospect again. But at least now the baby had a place to expand to – and he hopefully wouldn’t have more issues!

“That won’t be for a while yet,” April dismissed. “Besides, I bet you’ll be able to eat a lot better now that the pressure’s off.”

“Indeed,” the Fugitoid chimed in. “You need to start eating a lot more,” he chided gently. “You’ll need to gain weight to not only feed the child, but give yourself energy.”

“I have gained two pounds,” the teen argued. “And besides, it’s hard to eat when you’re always throwing up.”

“A common issue amongst the gravid,” the android dismissed. “I’m putting you on a diet while we’re together that should be easy on your stomach, but help you gain weight.”

Gaining weight was akin to shooting himself in the foot. Leo detested weight gains, always worried to be slowed down or left incapable of protecting his family. When he became leader, he took a vow to do anything and everything to be the best of the best, to care for his brothers and the rest of the family. This…would be a slight set back.

“Great,” he muttered, leaning back.

“Oh come on, Leo, it’s not so bad,” April rolled her eyes at his dramatics. “At least you’ll finally get some time to relax and take care of yourself for once.”

While there was a part of him that appreciated her attempt to make the best of the situation, the majority of Leo just wanted to pout. He didn’t want to be practical or rational. He wanted to bitch and moan about how unfair life was.

“Yeah, yeah,” he sulked, deciding to forget about food for the time being and focus on the lovely warmth while ignoring the Fugitoid poking around.

He could see April smirking at him from the side, but she thankfully switched topics. Instead, she got the Fugitoid talking about a project he was currently working on, for some species the Terrans hadn’t heard of before. But it was nice. A nice distraction away from Leo being the center of attention. It actually helped him relax, the babble reminding him quite a bit of Donnie when he got excited.

Smiling as he thought of his brothers, Leo hoped that Don and Mikey were okay, that Miwa and Sensei weren’t taking his leaving too hard. While his internal clock was off, and he wasn’t sure how long he’d slept earlier, it went without question that they had all probably noticed he and April were gone by now. Kirby should have already told them about their trip so no one should be overly worried about them.

Sighing as he settled himself down, Leo didn’t realize when he dozed off again.


	12. Good Things Come in Threes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo undergoes an ultrasound.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, if you haven't seen it, there's Raph's POV story "Without You" posted about his time with Mona Lisa in case anyone is interested :)

Hanging out in the lounge with April should have been relaxing, if not a bit boring since the morning had been quiet with nothing big going on, but Leonardo was jittery. Since he’d gotten up, he hadn’t been able to concentrate very well, and as time passed, it was only getting worse. He was _trying_ to read some traditionally Japanese poetry, hoping to calm his nerves. Normally he could lose himself in the imagery and the art of the calligraphy strokes, appreciate the beauty of both the meaning and characters combine. But instead of getting into the poetry, his mind kept looping him back to the baby.

When would they have that ultrasound-like thing? How clearly would they be able to see the baby? What would it look like? Would they be able to see features? Make out distinguishing marks? Be able to tell if the child took more after Raph or Leo?

No, no it was too early for that, he knew that. The child was too small, and even if it looked turtle-like, it wasn’t fully formed. And besides, if it was in an actual egg, it’d be much harder to make out any real features. But even if he couldn’t see what the child would look like exactly, at least he’d get to _see_ it…Maybe he’d get to see if it was a boy or girl? Or no, it was still probably too early for that, too.

“Boy or girl?” he muttered to himself as he rubbed at his plastron. He didn’t notice April smiling at him as she read her own magazine.

He’d have to start thinking of names, he supposed. Should probably start making a list that would be suitable for tiny mutant ninja turtles. He’d never really named anything before, never having a pet of his own, but names for people were much more important. What if he chose a name and the child ended up hating it? Leo would feel incredibly guilty if the kid despised its name and would feel even worse if it was so bad the child ended up having to choose one for itself one day. It would be a huge failure on his part as a parent. And he still remembered the struggles Miwa had gone through when she shunned the name Shredder had given her.

Maybe he should ask someone else’s opinion first before choosing names? Have them check over his list? Maybe he should get Raph’s input?

While not exactly sure how much participation he should let Raph have considering Leo wasn’t even sure how much involvement to expect from the hothead, it still seemed right to ask his ex-lover’s opinion. Even if it was highly likely that his brother would choose to continue a relationship with Mona Lisa – if the Salamandrian would still take that two-timing jerk. Then again, Leo didn’t have that much room to judge too harshly since he was technically ‘the other woman’ in the strange love triangle they’d created.

But Raph _did_ have more experience in naming things than Leo, and he _was_ the child’s sire. Maybe Leo should at least run some of the names he was considering by the other turtle? As a show of courtesy? Would Raph even care? Or would he just cuss Leo out, not wanting anything to do with the baby?

 _Positive,_ he thought, rubbing more fiercely at his plastron. _Stay positive._ He couldn’t keep dwelling on the negative. He needed to stay positive.

Like how he didn’t feel as sick today now that his bridges had been ‘popped.’ While still a little sore from the experience, he was glad it was done. He could breathe and the unbearable pressure had let up. But more importantly, he hadn’t thrown up today! With the pressure gone and not having to hide anything from anyone at the moment, it meant he was actually calmer than before. And soon he’d at least inform Raph about the child, so that wouldn’t be a secret between them, a source of stress.

“Boy or girl?”

Pretty soon he’d get to see his baby. That was something to be happy about. He should start planning more for its arrival. Maybe figure out the whole diaper thing, and what else they should do to keep the little one warm and possibly clothed. The sewers were cold, and reptiles needed warmth. But perhaps more important than that, he realized he had no idea what the baby would even _eat_. Mammals had the whole milk thing to rely upon, and in nature, turtles didn’t stick around to help their young, so adults never worried about their hatchlings. There was _no way_ Leonardo was going to just lay the egg and take off! He’d have to figure out what to feed the little one rather than just abandon it and leaving it to nature to either tough it out or get picked off by either the elements or something larger…

 _Don’t go there,_ he scolded himself, sternly. He wasn’t prepared to think about all those sad nature documentaries he’d watched as a child that had made him cry when he was alone. Those poor baby turtles!

“Leonardo?”

Glad for the interruption, Leo looked up to find the Fugitoid poking his head into the room. “Would you like to come down to the med-bay?”

“Yes!” he pushed himself up too quickly, feeling a rush to his head at the movement, but ignored it. Who cared about a little dizziness when there was a baby to see?

April materialized beside him, smiling as she helped steady him before the three went off to see ‘Baby Hamato’ – as April had taken to calling it – for the first time. The moment they were inside, the Fugitoid directed Leo to lay back on the examining table he had been on the day before. The turtle did so obediently, suddenly nervous for no good reason.

“Your sides are looking well today,” the android commented as he prepared the ultrasound-like machine. “They don’t appear to be all that swollen or show signs of any lasting damage.”

Glancing down at the bridges, Leo winced yet again as he noticed how different they looked. Maybe it wasn’t all that drastic of a difference to the professor or April, but Leo could see the distinct alteration. He tried not to worry about it too much and instead decided to view the changes the same as he would a scar or new scuff to his shell. Not that big of a deal. Nothing to worry about in the long run. Nothing to be self-conscious of. Just another ‘battle scar’ to wear with honor.

“So how’s this going to work?” the turtle asked, skittish. “Do you need to spread some kind of gel on or something?”

“Not quite!” Professor Honeycutt smiled at the teen. “All I’ll need to do is take a thorough scan of your body, wait for the computer to make a few more minor alterations, before an image can be projected. Hopefully we’ll not only see the baby, but where the egg is being housed. We’ll then draw up a map of your innards, as it were, so we’ll understand what is happening, and can make better predictions as to what will happen in the future. It’ll be quite fascinating, seeing such a new physiological system!”

“You sound like Donnie,” Leo winced, not exactly enjoying being treated like a science experiment. But then again, he couldn’t be mad at the professor. This was his field, after all, and quite frankly, Leonardo was a unique …er… specimen. Besides, Donnie would treat him the same way. And this also needed to be done so that Leonardo could receive the best care possible and they could mark it for future record incase such a thing were to ever happen again. Not that Leo expected to get pregnant – _gravid_ – again, but it might be possible that his…uniqueness would get passed on to the child if it were a ‘boy’. Leo wanted that child to have every advantage it’s barrier never had.

April shot him a wink in attempt to keep up his moral, but stayed largely out of way as the professor got to work. The initial scan wasn’t painful or anything, Leo really couldn’t feel anything at all as a wand-like device was waved over him, but the turtle still found himself squirming in discomfort. Pressing his lips together, he waited anxiously as the wand was pressed against his lower plastron. They had to wait a few seconds before a three dimensional image appeared above the turtle, showing a sort of topographical map of Leo’s innards.

The Earthlings stared at the image in wonder as the Fugitoid took to studying the projection critically.

“Hmm,” the professor hummed, setting the wand aside as he enlarged the image with his fingers like one could on the screen of a cell phone. “That’s interesting.”

“What is?” Leo felt like he needed to claw his shell off just to see what was really going on inside. What was he seeing exactly?

“First, it would appear that you do have some kind of womb area just as the female creatures on your planet. See?” he pointed out what Leo assumed was the tissue walls that made up the womb. But honestly, he couldn’t care less about his own physical anatomy at the moment. He wanted to see the baby! “The passage which leads to the womb is obviously not separate such as –”

“The egg?” Leo didn’t mean to be rude, but his nerves were getting the best of him, and he just wanted to see his baby.

Realizing he had been going off into science-land and that his two friends were not as excited about the actual medical explanations as to how this was possible, the Fugitoid's head bobbed for a moment in a nod. “Yes! Right then. Here,” the android smiled at the fidgeting teen before enlarging the 3-D image, “is an egg.”

Leonardo zeroed in on the tiny little ball that was pointed out to him, drinking in all the detail he could. That was it. That was his baby. Right there. He could see it. See the egg, see the outline of the tiny being within. A little turtle. “ _Wow_ …”

Unable to stand it, April rushed over to get a better good look as well. She was staring at the image almost as intently as the parent-to-be. The image might not have been all the impressive, fairly simple without a lot of detail, but that was _his_ baby. The tiny little life that had helped to completely turn his entire world upside down.

Smiling, the turtle rubbed his plastron tenderly, mind beginning to fantasize, before a frown slowly tugs on his lips. Staring at the image, Leo couldn’t help but point to another little ball of something off to the side of his egg. It almost looked like…

“Professor? What’s that?” he asked slowly.

“That, Leonardo, would be the second egg.”

All brain function stuttered and stalled as the turtle turned to gawk at the automaton. He’d heard wrong. There was no way the professor had just said what he’d thought he said. The Fugitoid was _not_ saying what Leo thought he said. Seriously. Because that would mean…

April gasped beside him.

“Wh-what?”

Apparently not understanding the bombshell that had just been dropped, the android directed their attention back to the image with a wave of his hand. “You see here?” he pointed to the initial little ball. “That’s the first egg here, and this,” he pointed to the one Leo had asked about, “is the second.”

Leo felt himself flush as he continued to stare up at the projection, not quite able to wrap his brain around the words being spouted so calmly. Because there was just no way he was understanding correctly. “There’s not two,” he found himself denying.

“No there is not,” the android agreed happily. “The third would be right here.” Turning the projection to a different angle, there was yet another small ball on the 3-D model that had been hidden by the other two.

A sudden rush of emotion made the turtle lightheaded, and for a split second, he thought he might pass out. “A-are you joking?”

“What is there to joke about?” the android blinked, still not understanding the significance of the news. “See, there are three eggs. One, two, three,” he pointed to each one last time for the dazed terrapin.

“Are there any more?” April’s question was asked with shock, but it had Leo’s stomach dropping.

_Were there more??_

“No, not that I can see,” Professor Honeycutt, at lasted, began to recognize the amazement of the Terrans. “There seems to be only three.”

A nauseous sensation seeped into the turtle’s stomach as he stared at the projection as every concern, every doubt he’d had just tripled before his eyes. _Three_?! One baby was going to be difficult enough to care for, but _three_? How was he going to explain this to Raph?!

But even as the uncertainty and terror grew stronger in the turtle, so too did a certain sense of determination and true awe. He’d always liked being part of a large family, had always yearned for a large family of his own one day. Looks like he’d get his wish – even if circumstances were not quite ideal. “N-no way.”

“Oh yes!” Professor Honeycutt beamed. “And it would explain some of your rather severe symptoms.” Moving around the table to flip a switch on the machine, Leo startled when strange _swishing_ sounds assaulted their ears.

Before he could ask what the noise was and if the professor could turn it off, the android turned back to the turtle and human. “Do you hear the heartbeats?”

Despite still being in shock, Leo was once again left amazed. Tiny heartbeats beating independently from one another. The sound suddenly became beautiful.

“Now then,” the android carefully switched the sound off after a few minutes of listening and making notes as the Terrans continuing to sit stupidly silent, Leonardo actually crying by now. “The heart beats of each sound strong, the egg shells seem to be developing around them well enough, and now that we’ve unlatched the hinges of your bridges, the eggs will likely begin to expand much more comfortably. What is a concern, as I’ve mentioned before, is how underweight you are for the size the fetuses are presenting.”

Blinking back to himself, Leo forced himself to pay closer attention. This was important. Three infants to care for meant that he had three times the responsibility. “R-right.”

“I’d like to see some significant weight gain while you’re here with me,” the professor warned, writing more notes in a language the Terrans couldn’t hope to decipher. “Although I cannot be certain how far along you are, you’re presenting close to where a human would be around three and a half months, or a little more. If you were human carrying only one child, you should have already gained upper to five pounds by now. It’s worrying that you’ve only managed to gain two and you are carrying three.”

Any good feelings Leo might have had before about managing to keep his figure since discovering the pregnancy – gravidity? – he now felt terrible. Had he been too selfish? True, he’d been watching what he was eating, but not necessarily so he wouldn’t gain weight. It was so he wouldn’t get sick all the time! To make sure the baby was ‘eating’ healthy, too!

“What do I need to do?” he asked, determined to do whatever it took to ensure his children’s survival.

“As I said before, you’ll need to gain some significant weight. I’ll be making up your menu while you’re here with me, and you’ll need to eat everything given to you. Some lean fats and vitamins should help.”

Staring down at his still flat belly, Leo frowned. “Okay.”

“From what I can tell due to the size of the infants comparing them to that of their human counterparts,” the Fugitoid continued, “I believe that the worst of your ‘morning sickness’ should be past. Especially since your shell can better accommodate the weight gain. Hopefully by the end of the week you’ll have gained at least six pounds. Preferably more.”

Six pounds? In _one week_? It sounded almost like a nightmare for the fitness freak, but as he took in April’s own firm resolve, Leo knew he would be meeting that quota. Sighing, he nodded. “Okay…How long do you think I’ll…umm…carry before, you know, g-giving birth or laying or whatever.”

“Excellent question,” the professor nodded, happy to play the role of teacher, “but I’m afraid I cannot tell you at the moment. More tests will have to be conducted. But if I were to hazard a guess at this time based on what little I know for certain, I would say anywhere between five to eight months total.”

Things just kept getting better and better. Closing his eyes for a minute in an attempt to compose himself, when he felt better, Leo opened them and stared back to the android. “And what’s a good weight I should be shooting for here?” Because Leo did _not_ want to gain more than he needed to if he could help it. He’d do what needed to be done for the children, but he refused to let himself go. He was still a warrior, after all, and wanted to ensure that he could get back into shape as quickly as possible to protect his family and the city.

There was some hesitation on the professor’s part as he knew Leonardo’s feelings when it came to this. After a quick reassuring glance from April, the automaton began nervously. “Well, if compared to a human who is carrying triplets, it is recommended that the mother gain between forty to fifty pounds depending on the mother’s own weight before the pregnancy.”

Face paling, Leo had to take another moment for a deep breath and let it out slowly. This was for the babies. This was for the babies. This was for the babies…

…he would kill Raphael for this.

“Right. Forty to fifty pounds. Got it,” he muttered sullenly.

“It won’t be so bad,” April tried her hand at comforting. “I mean, a lot of that’s going to be water weight or something, right?” She was staring rather helplessly at the professor.

“Actually, I’m not sure,” the Fugitoid admitted apologetically. “Terrapins do not commonly gain such excessive weight when gravid, and because it appears you have actual eggs, I’m not completely certain if there will be placenta or that there will be large amounts of ‘water weight.’ As I said before, if you were _human_ you would need to gain between forty and fifty pounds. Right now I want you to gain weight simply to give the eggs fats to use for their growth instead of your body’s own reserves. It would not do for you to starve yourself.”

This wouldn’t be so bad, Leo kept telling himself. Not so bad. This wouldn’t be forever. Sometimes you had to sacrifice for the greater good. Sometimes you had to give to reap future benefits. And the benefits would come in the form of three precious little mutant turtles. It would definitely be worth it.

As April attempted to soothe him, patting his shell, Leo nodded, trying very hard to think only of the children. He would do anything for them. “Okay. Yeah. Makes sense.”

“We’ll just play it by ear until we have more concrete facts,” the human encouraged.

Petting his lower plastron, Leo stared up at the 3-D projection, focusing on the sweet little faces forming. “It’s okay, April. I’m fine. It’ll all be fine.”

But even as he tried to reassure his friends, as well as himself, the tired turtle couldn’t help but wonder once more how the hell he was going to explain all of this to Raphael.


	13. Nightmares and Girl Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leonardo's having terrible nightmares, but April's there to talk.

_He couldn’t breathe. He was petrified. But he had to do this. There was no other option. No turning back._

_“What the hell ya doin’ here?”_

_Leo felt his heart pounding rapidly against his plastron as he stared into the electric green before him. Poisonous and angry. Glancing down at himself, the turtle was met with the view of a large belly he didn’t remember having, but knew that it was right._

_“I-I needed to talk to you.”_

_The sneer aimed at him had Leonardo cringing, a physical pain actually hitting him as surely as a punch. “Why the fuck would I wanna talk to_ you _?”_

_He was shaking, legs quivering, it took a moment for the older turtle to compose himself. “Just… I-I need to tell you…”_

_“What?”_

_Staring back down at himself, seeing his rounded plastron had grown in the short span, Leonardo stared up at his lover, pleading silently for him to understand, to not make him have to say the words out loud. But as the figure of the other ninja grew larger before him, dwarfing the terrified turtle, Leo knew he was going to have to speak. “I-I-I…”_

_“‘I-I-I’ what?!”_

_Flinching back from the mockery, Leo closed his eyes, just wishing he could make his mouth work. “I’m pregnant!” he cried, the words tearing from his throat._

_Glancing up, his lover had grown taller, looming over him, the weight of his stare crushing Leo, fury engulfing him like flames. “WHAT?!” he bellowed. “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!”_

_“I’m sorry!” Leo cried, trembling under the heat. “I-I didn’t –”_

_“HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!”_

_“I didn’t-didn’t know! I’m sorry!”_

_From behind came a screeching echo, and spinning around, Leo saw a dark figure, Salamandrian in shape, wailing, powerful tail thrashing as they screamed._

_“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!”_

_Turning back to his lover, Leonardo was sobbing, falling to his knees. “I’m s-sorry. I-I didn’t know!”_

_“Disgusting!” came a cried from off to the side, and Leonardo found the image of his genius brother looming beyond. “Disgusting pervert! What_ are _you?”_

_“I-I –”_

_“You sick freak!” the form of his sister rose up out of smoke, even as the Salamandrian continued to wail. “How could you?”_

_“You destroyed our family!” the youngest of the brothers cried hatefully. “You ruined everything!”_

_“HOW COULD YOU_ DO _THIS TO ME?!”_

_“I trusted you, Leonardo.”_

_The turtle sobbed helplessly as he stared up at his father. “I’m sorry, Sensei, I’m sorry!”_

_“Freak! How could you do this to our family?”_

_“You’ve torn us all apart!”_

_“Disgusting!”_

“ _You’ve disgraced us all, Leonardo.”_

_“YOU’VE RUINED MY LIFE!”_

_Over and over again the accusations hit him from all sides, pounding him down until Leo was curled in on himself, a vain attempt to ward away the hurt. The accusations._

_“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”_

_“Freak!”_

_“Torn us apart!”_

_“Disgusting!”_

_“Disgrace!”_

_“I HATE YOU!”_

_A sinking down into the deep blackness of the abyss, Leonardo welcomed the void, needing to escape. Escape the truth._

_“I’m so sorry.”_

_The screaming of tormented hate followed him down._

**oOoOoOo**

It had been two days. Two days since the discovery that Leonardo was having triplets, and two days since Leonardo had looked even remotely happy.

April knew it was because the turtle wasn’t sleeping well. Not that he’d been getting particularly restful nights before, but since coming to learn of the multiple eggs, it had gotten worse. Bad enough that even in her room across the hall she could hear him. The anguished cries and pleading whimpers had left her shaken and almost as tearful as the turtle.

But at least he was eating and drinking the protein shakes the Fugitoid had prescribed. In those two days, the ninja leader had actually managed to gain another two pounds. The professor believed that since Leo was taking so well to the protein supplements – which were responsible for the crazy fast gain – he would be at an ideal weight in no time. It was good news, news that the parent-to-be had taken well enough. But despite acknowledging that he would have to continue to gain weight, it was the complete lack of true response that alarmed April. There should have been some grumbles and complaints, at least a few snarky comments. This silence…it wasn’t a good sign.

Since his recent and quick weight gain, Leo had also taken to wearing the long blue robe that April had gotten him from Earth while they traveled. He’d claimed it was because he was cold, and perhaps he was, but the young woman knew better. He was getting self-conscious, and she wished she knew what to say to make him feel better.

He was currently staring out the viewer, a distant expression on his face. She wondered what he was thinking about. Specifically. It wasn’t difficult to guess the basic train of his thoughts. Hard enough to find out you’re expecting triplets, but to have a strained relationship with the father, the father being a younger brother, and of course the rest of the family not knowing a thing... April had hoped that the stress, the pressure would lessen once they got into space. Because at least Leo wouldn’t have to hide anything while here.

But of course there would be more complications along the way. Of course there’d be nightmares. Apparently Leo had been too exhausted and in pain before to have many nightmares. Now that he wasn’t in immediate pain and wasn’t almost constantly sick, the dreams had come back with vengeance.

While Leonardo liked to think that he could handle things on his own when he was hurt or depressed, he couldn’t. After the Invasion of Earth when they were fifteen and after Leo had woken up from his coma, the leader had fallen into a heavy depression, not wholly dissimilar to how he was now. He’d hole himself away in his room, stare out the window or sit on the porch as the others trained without saying a word. If anyone would say anything to him, his responses were always self-depreciating.

It was before Raph and Leo were ‘officially together’ April supposed, if what the older turtle told her was true, but the human wondered if it wasn’t at the farmhouse when they were kids, that the foundations of that future relationship had been laid. Because it had been Raphael who guarded and watched over Leonardo when he’d been in a coma. It had been Raphael who helped Donnie change the bandages, refilled the tub, put lotion on too dry scales, and even fed the unconscious turtle. It was Raphael who had fallen into depression when none of them knew if the leader would survive. It was Raphael who sat and talked to the unresponsive turtle when he thought no one was listening. It was Raphael who had been there when Leonardo had first woken.

The surprisingly gentle care hadn’t stopped when the leader had woken, either. Raph had stuck to Leonardo like glue once the older ninja was up. It had been Raphael who forced Leo into conversation in an attempt to cheer him, not Mikey. It was Raphael who ensured that Leo didn’t overexert himself and took his medicine, not Donnie. It was Raphael who encouraged Leo to train, not Casey. And even though she was embarrassed to admit it, it had been Raphael who made sure Leo ate and cared for himself, not April.

While April had helped in bitching at the leader at one point with the whole chimera incident, it was truly Raphael that had gotten Leo to come out of depression, not her. Not anyone else. Their long standing bond had not only been strengthened, it had been reestablished as something greater than ever before.

But unlike at the farmhouse years ago, there was no Raphael to help his depressed brother. No, this time it was much worse than before, because it was _Raph_ who caused the depression. And because of this, April wasn’t sure how well Leonardo would recover this time around.

“Hey,” she called softly.

When the turtle turned away from looking out the viewer, it was painfully obvious how exhausted he was now. His shoulders were slumped, and he seemed to be shrinking in on himself. The smile he attempted to give was just painful. “Hey.”

Unable to keep the concern from her face, April didn’t even bother to pretend to smile. She simply walked up beside him, placing a hand on his arm. Realizing he wasn’t even remotely fooling anyone, the turtle’s face fell, and he turned his head to stare off at the side. He was too tired to continue the façade.

“Come with me,” she demanded gently, tugging on his arm.

Leo didn’t resist and instead followed after the human as she guided him off the bridge and towards the lounge. The professor was down in the labs bouncing between the projects he’d been commissioned for while also trying to deduce what it was that made Leonardo so unique, what had caused his – for lack of a better term – secondary mutation. Thankfully that meant they wouldn’t be disturbed, so April felt confident she could get the turtle talking. She’d hoped that by giving him some space he could work some of this out himself, but that apparently wasn’t happening.

As they sat down together, April ordered them both drinks from the replicator. She got some kind of equivalent to cola, while she ordered Leo another of his protein shakes. It was time for him to eat again anyway. The turtle took the glass with a pained expression once she sat beside him, but obediently began drinking.

Maybe it was a little tactless, maybe she really should be a little more sensitive, but Leonardo was stubborn, and to get through to him, sometimes you had to be forceful. That’s probably why Raphael had gotten under the leader’s shell. So taking a deep breath, she launched in. “Listen,” she began, making sure not to look at the turtle, not wanting to put more stress on him than necessary. “I know things aren’t exactly going as you’ve planned, but you do know it’ll all be okay, right?”

The sigh was heavy and disheartened. “I know.”

Frowning over at her friend before turning back to staring out the viewer, April tried not to get frustrated. She didn’t like being lied to, but she also knew Leo was just trying to make sure she wasn’t worried about him. In a way, he was trying to pick himself back up, but it was much harder than he could manage alone.

“I know that you’re scared – you totally have every right to be – but it really will be okay.” Reaching out, she grabbed his hand. “You’ve still got me, and Professor Honeycutt will do everything he can to help. And even though you’re thinking the worst, I know your family won’t just kick you out and leave you alone, Leo. They’re not like that.”

The turtle collapsed into himself, biting his lower lip to keep it from quivering. “How can they accept this?”

“Because they love you.” Once the darker blue eyes met her, April offered a true smile, squeezing his hand. “I know it’s scary, and maybe they will be a little weirded out with things, but Leo, they _love you_. And like we’ve said, stranger things have happened. It’ll all be okay. It’ll work out.”

The ninja leader took a deep breath before releasing it loudly. Sitting back in the couch, one hand in April’s, the other around his shake glass, he stared up at the ceiling. Studying him quietly, April could make out just the hint of a curve in his plastron. Or maybe it was the lighting?

“I’ve been having nightmares,” he admitted after a minute. “It’s mostly Raph hating my guts, but sometimes it’s everyone. They’re all so…disgusted with me.”

Releasing his hand to instead lean into him, resting her head on his shoulder, April wished she could do more to make him feel better. “You know none of them will hate you.”

He was shivering. “I guess. But Raph…God, April, what’s he going to say about this? I mean, _three_?”

“This isn’t your fault, Leonardo,” she scolded sternly, hoping to dispel any doubts on that score. “If anything, Raph is just as responsible for this. But no matter how…surprised he is, what he says, you know he’ll never hate you.”

The stare she received was flat and disbelieving. “It’s true!” she countered. “Even if Raph still wants to be with Mona Lisa after this, or if you two never get back together, he can’t hate you. You’re his _brother_ first, Leo. His friend. You two have been through too much together for him to just walk out without ever looking back.”

April hoped that was true. While she knew that Raphael _would_ always care for his brothers, Leo in particular, she hoped he wouldn’t keep running away from them. After learning how close the two eldest mutants had been to one another, it had actually taken April by surprised when she realized how cowardly the hothead had behaved over this entire thing. This tour, it wasn’t just a chance to be with Mona Lisa, it was an opportunity to run away. Part of April wanted it to be due to the fact that Raphael still harbored some kind of attraction to the leader, meaning that there was a greater hope of things working out between the two, but she couldn’t say for certain. It was just a feeling she got.

The leader didn’t answer, just stared out at the viewer, laying his head on top of hers with a sigh. He knew everything she was saying, she knew, but he needed to hear it again. Probably needed to hear this sort of thing every single day until his fears could be put to rest permanently. April would be that annoying reminder.

They sat together quietly, each sipping their drinks every now and again before Leo started rubbing at his stomach. The movement was different than before. She knew he wasn’t in pain, just thinking about the kids. She’d even caught him murmuring to the babies every now and again. It was sweet.

“Got any names picked out?” she asked, hoping that wouldn’t spark another downward spiral of depression or anything. “You know, ‘April’ is a good name.”

Leo snorted, still rubbing at his plastron. “Haven’t gotten that far yet,” he admitted, before hesitating. “I was wondering if I should ask Raph for his input. You know, if things go…well…”

“That’s a nice idea,” she encouraged, smiling. “I’m sure Mikey will have some ideas.”

“There is _no way_ I’m subjecting _my_ children to that.”

Hearing a bit of the snark back in the turtle’s voice was a good sign. “I honestly would like to hear some of his suggestions.”

Once more, Leo snorted. “They would certainly be colorful.” The two friends sat in the easy silence before Leo ventured a question that seemed to spring out of nowhere. “So, are you dating anyone?”

Sitting up, surprised, the human stared at her friend. “Why would you ask that?”

The turtle shrugged one shoulder, taking a sip of his drink to buy time. “Just haven’t heard a lot from you lately, and Donnie and Casey haven’t been bickering quite as much. I wondered if they had a common enemy or something.”

April found herself pouting as she thought about the two guys that had been on her tail since they were fifteen. It was a complicated business, having not only a bad boy vigilante who society disapproved of after her, but to also have a mutant ninja turtle genius interest, too. It was exhausting. She tried not to encourage either of them, not wanting to hurt two of her closet friends, but at the same time, it was starting to be too much.

“I told them both I didn’t want to date right now. And honestly, I don’t,” she answered truthfully. It was a little awkward talking to Leo about this considering he was not only Donnie’s brother, but also leader of their team. A leader that never actually cared for all the drama surrounding the three, as he believed it disrupted team efficiency. Had circumstances been different, April might have pointed out the hypocrisy of Leo bashing inter-team relationships considering his own with Raph, but decided he didn’t need any more crap thrown his way right now.

“That’s fair,” he agreed easily. “School’s probably more important.”

“Yeah,” she agreed. “Boyfriends are too much stress.”

“Amen to that,” Leo muttered, causing April to smirk.

She hadn’t thought about it before, but Leo had suddenly become like another girlfriend to her. Someone she could talk more comfortably about boys with, who would understand on some level. She didn’t have too many close girlfriends at school, and she and Miwa and Shini had never been terribly close. The people she was closest to were the turtles and Casey. _Guys_. But now she at least had someone more sympathetic to her in the whole boyfriend department. And in the future, childbearing.

“There anyone you have your eye on?”

What was with all the questions? But April supposed she could give up a few secrets to the turtle after everything he’d told her. And if nothing else, it was something to distract him from his own life. “Honestly? There’s this guy in my calculus class that’s pretty cute. Really tall, sandy colored hair, hazel eyes, plays basketball.”

Leo nodded as he thought over the description. “Sounds pretty cute.”

Smirk spreading, getting excited to have ‘girl talk’ with someone that wanted to listen, April turned to face the turtle more fully, curling up one leg on the couch. “He is. We’ve gone to the café on campus a few times to get coffee and talk. He’s actually asked me out on a date. I wish I had a picture to show you.”

“Are you going on a date with him when we get back?” Leonardo asked, true interest shining in his eyes. He wasn’t just asking to distract himself anymore.

April felt herself getting red faced as she shrugged. “I…told him I needed some time to think it over. I didn’t lie to Donnie or Casey,” she defended.

There was no judgement as Leo nodded. “That’s fair,” he repeated. “What’s he like? Aren’t athletes supposed to be dicks?”

That had the human laughing. “Not _all_ of them. Besides, you’d probably be considered a jock, and you’re not _so_ bad,” she teased. “But honestly, Casey’s probably got Jim beat in the whole arrogant, dick category,” she laughed. “Jim’s cocky, but nobody beats ‘Casey Jones’ when it comes to smugness.”

She continued to regale the turtle with stories from school, telling him about all the cute boys in her classes, about the annoying geeks like Chaplin, and the friends she was working hard to keep. Girls were exhausting to maintain friendships with, April swore, or at least the girls in her social sphere. They always wanted to text relentlessly, hang out constantly, as if they didn’t understand the meaning of alone time. And of course, with as many secrets as someone like April had, it was challenging.

But besides making her feel better, feeling some pressure being taken off of her, April was glad to see that Leonardo seemed to be enjoying himself as well. At least he was talking more and even sort of smiling. There was a moment when she thought she even heard him chuckle. It was definitely an improvement. One that April hoped would continue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The anticipated Battle with Armaggon is not too far away, friends! Soon we'll be crash landing into the unknown. :)


	14. Theories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leonardo hears some theories about how he is able to carry young.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter corresponds with Chapter 17: Lost in Space of "Losing Leo" in case some of the dialogue looks familiar :)

As much as Leo hated to admit it, he was starting to notice the weight gain. It was day six of space travel, and he was developing a bit of a gut. He’d be weighing in with the professor today at some point, but Leo already knew that he’d gained the six prescribed pounds and was well on his way to more. Those protein shakes the Fugitoid prescribed weren’t for the faint of heart. While not bad tasting, the turtle couldn’t help imagining drinking glasses of lard whenever one was handed over to him. It was the thought and seeing the results that made them disgusting.

Sighing, Leo looked at himself in the room viewer that was like a mirror. Leo had never wanted to weigh all that much. Heavy enough to not be considered a lightweight certainly, heavy enough to hold firm in battle, but tactics wise, he preferred speed and versatility to brute strength. Flexibility was essential for a ninja, to be able to maneuver and slip out of any situation easily. Being a walking wall of muscle was better left for other disciplines. Or at least, that’s what he had thought. And besides, even as a teen Leo had realized that his body type was meant to be slimmer and sleek, a little stockier than Don. Even Mikey seemed to have better potential to bulk up than he did. And Raph…well, somehow the hothead had managed to _be_ a walking wall of muscle and a ninja. Somehow, the combination worked for him.

Studying himself now, however, Leo just felt fat. Not for the first time he told himself it was for the good of his young, that this was necessary. But knowing that and seeing the progress with his hormone goggles on were two different things. He did _not_ like this. Not at all.

Deciding to ignore the mirror, he went and sat down on the bed, grabbing the pillow he’d brought with him from Earth. He wondered what his family was doing right now. Were they pissed that he had taken April and run? Were they worried? Hopefully they wouldn’t waste time trying to look for them. That would be stupid, but he wouldn’t put it past them. He already knew he was in for long lectures and session of examination when he returned. Staring down at his growing belly, Leo knew exactly where the line of questioning would start.

Pulling out his journal to distract himself from darkening thoughts, the ninja stared at the list of names he’d been chewing on over the past few days. He still believed it’d be difficult to make concrete choices without seeing the children first, but he could have tentative options. The final decision could be put off until after the birth. Something told him that once he saw them, he’d know whether or not a name fit. On a positive note, there was no need to agonize over picking just _one_ name. Leo could likely chose his top three. It would be nice to know what the eggs were beforehand, though. Boys or girls or a mix. It would make planning a lot easier.

Leaning back on a hand as he held the journal in the other, Leo decided it would be fun if the eggs were a mix. While he’d loved growing up with his brothers, a strong sense of unity and comradery forged between them, Leo found himself grateful to have a sister in Miwa, and even April. Girls brought in a different perspective to life than brothers, different strengths, making up the weakness brothers had, and vice versa. Having both boys and girls growing up together would be an interesting amalgam, and honestly, Leo thought it’d be more beneficial in the long run than having solely boys or solely girls.

And, if he were truthful with himself, considering this would probably be his first and last brood, he’d like to have both boys and girls. He wanted to experience being a parent to both. If he had all boys or all girls, he’d never have the opportunity to have more. Knowing this left him oddly regretful.

So names. He’d have to choose the top three for each. Top three names for girls, top three for boys. Maybe he’d let April review them soon? Leo knew for certain she’d be in to that kind of thing, especially after all their talks lately.

As if knowing he was thinking about her, the door chimed and the human sauntered in. Smiling brightly, the girl came and plopped down beside the turtle. “What’cha doin’?”

Smiling slightly at his friend, Leo stashed the journal away, not quite ready to share yet. “Nothing.”

Of course she didn’t believe him, but didn’t press. She probably assumed he’d been writing more notes about his weight or something. “You’ve been in here all morning. Come on.”

Grabbing his arm, she helped haul him up, and together the two made their way out of Leo’s room and towards the bridge. The Fugitoid greeted them happily as they entered. “You’ll be pleased to know that our request to orbit around Salamandria has been accepted,” he announced as the Terrans went to sit at their preferred station.

“Great!” April beamed. “What happens next?”

“Well, first we’ll have to make a formal request to contact Raphael,” the professor explained. “Due to the war, we’ll need not only the proper security clearance in order to contact the warship he is aboard, but depending upon how far out in the quadrant they are, we’ll need a definite boost in order to have the message delivered. But it shouldn’t be a problem. As we wait, we can beam down to the planet for several days and do a bit of sight seeing if you’d like.”

“Sounds like a plan,” April smiled over at the android. Leo felt sort of bad for her, having to play nice and be peppy because he was moody. Being cheerful all the time was exhausting. He’d seen Mikey’s crashes when the youngest thought he was alone, the leader coming to understand how hard it was to keep spirits up and alive.

Keeping conversation going, the turtle listened in as the professor started to explain in more detail what would happen once they arrived. This whole bureaucratic system…Leo wasn’t used to it. There seemed to be so many rules, so many clearances they had to go through. He wondered if officials just liked watching others jump through all the hoops they set out to be cruel. But even the mutant could see some of the necessity of it. Especially if Salamandria was at war.

Frowning, Leo crossed his arms as he mulled over the actual process the message would be going through in order to make it to Raph. If there was any sort of battle going on, or they were in deep space, communiques could easily get lost. “Are you sure they’ll get the message?”

“Certainly!” Professor Honeycutt smiled. “I’ll send out the request just as soon as we’re orbiting Salamandria. With the added boost they can give us, as well as the official security clearance, it will be delivered easily.”

The ninja leader eyed the automaton warily, but April suddenly leaning against him in a surprisingly comforting gesture that stalled any vocal rebuttal. “See? You’re worrying too much about this. We’ll find him.”

But despite the comfort of April, Leo still wasn’t so sure. Not that he claimed to be an expert spaceman or anything, but there still seemed like a lot that could go wrong, the least of which including having to resend the message. There were also the Salamandrians to consider. From what he’d seen in the past, they were hardly easy-going people. From his limited experience, the turtle found them to be pretty blunt, literal creatures that distrusted those who were not like them. They might respect prowess and cunning in battle, warriors holding special honors in their culture, but that didn’t mean they _liked_ outsiders. Respect and like were two totally different things. “And you’re sure we’re allowed to stay on Salamandria? I mean, they don’t exactly come across as…super friendly.”

“You’ll be _fine,_ Leonardo,” the professor soothed, knowing by now how much the turtle was distressed with this whole affair from their talks earlier that week. “They may bear the proclivity towards fighting, but they are hardly unreasonable or unfriendly… Once they know you.” Leo rolled his eyes. _That_ made him feel all better. “You will be most welcomed there as you wait.”

“Do we really have to beam down at all?” Leo shifted uncomfortable in his seat. While new planets were always a source of curiosity and a great chance to expand his knowledge, Salamandria had never been a place Leo had been champing at the bit to see. While petty, it did have a great deal to do with the fact that it was Mona Lisa’s home planet, and he was mature enough to admit he was jealous of her. But even acknowledging the jealousy didn’t mean he wasn’t still spiteful enough to want as little to do with her culture and home as possible. Because he didn’t. The less he knew about her, her home, what had obviously caught Raph’s attention over _him_ , the better.

The Fugitoid was truly a patient soul. Leo knew he was coming across like a bratty little kid, but he couldn’t help it. Again, Leo _knew_ they’d needed to beam down. They’d talked about this before. “I’m afraid so,” Professor Honeycutt nodded. “I’ll need to restock the ship and get fuel, and I’m fairly certain that Salamandrian protocol dictates that all new arrivals must beam down for at least twenty-eight hours – their full day – before being allowed to return to their ships. With the war, they will need to inspect this ship to ensure that we’re not smugglers or some other threat.”

“Right,” Leo muttered sullenly, still not liking the idea of being on a planet full of creatures that looked like the person that stole his lover away.

“Oh, don’t be so glum,” the Fugitoid encouraged. “We’ll arrive to Salamandria soon, and the sooner we get there, the sooner our message will be delivered out, and the sooner you’ll get to speak to Raphael to tell him the good news!”

It wasn’t so much a comforting statement as a completely terrifying one. To see Raphael again…The nightmares had only gotten worse the closer they came to the alien planet. But Leo knew that the sooner he could tell Raph, the sooner he could work at truly letting go of his obsession with the turtle. He needed closure at least, and the only way to do that was admitting to everything and then leave the rest up to Raphael. If his younger brother wanted nothing to do with him, then at least Leo had done his duty and could focus on preparing for the arrival of the children. They were more important.

The turtle had been zoning out, lost in thought, but startled when he heard April ask, “So how long was that again?”

Blinking, Leo tried to catch up to the conversation. “It depends on how far out they are, as I’ve said,” the Fugitoid replied, the turtle realizing they were probably talking about their estimated time on Salamandria. “If Raphael can be spared from battle. I don’t see it being more than several weeks.”

Several weeks on and around Salamandria. There was literally nothing Leonardo wanted to do _less_ in the entire universe. “Right…How far from Salamandria are we now?” he frowned.

“No more than a week yet,” the Professor explained, before turning completely and exiting his station. “Until then, I suggest you come with me and we’ll continue testing.”

Leonardo’s snout scrunched in distaste. It wasn’t as though the professor was insensitive or hurt him or anything, but the longer Leo sat through physicals, gave blood samples, and allowed the android map his innards, the more he felt like a science project. Glancing over at April, he found her smiling reassuringly, pushing on him to get up. “I’ll watch things up here,” she offered. “You two go.”

He would have preferred that April come, for moral support if nothing else, but knew she needed to stay on the bridge. They were entering into a rather risky section of space, where pirates and other outlaws liked to pass through or hide out. Since it was a largely undeveloped region of space, only primitive planets nearby, it was better to have eyes looking out at all times. Because if they needed help, they were a long way from ‘civilization.’

But when Leo was given another little push, he sighed, following the professor off the bridge and towards the med-bay. When they made it there, Leo automatically hopped up on the table. Sitting there, waiting for the Fugitoid to tell him to either stay sitting up or to lean back, the turtle pulled his robe a little closer to his frame. It was always so cold in space.

“Now then,” the professor spoke after preparing some equipment. “I believe I have a working theory as to how you’re able to reproduce.”

“Really?”

As curious as Leonardo was, a part of him didn’t want to know how this was possible. It was weird enough that he _could_ become gravid, knowing how it was possible was a little too…real. Donatello was all about knowing the facts, yearning for knowledge in all things, but Leonardo wasn’t quite like that. He truly believed that sometimes the mysteries of the universe were meant to be left as just that – _mysteries_ – to be admired for their beauty and secrets.

But unfortunately, as a leader of a ninja clan, he knew how important knowledge could be. Especially for a mutant like him. And as he stared at the professor, he knew there was no way he could let the temptation of _knowing_ sit.

“What do you think?” Leo asked hesitantly, still unsure.

“There are two major theories that I believe could explain this…let’s call it a secondary mutation for now,” Professor Honeycutt began as he checked the turtle’s blood pressure and other vitals. “As you know, the mutagen which mutated you and your brothers comes from Dimension X – kraathatrogon milk, specifically.”

Thinking of the disgusting worm-creatures left a sour feeling in Leo’s stomach. “I remember.”

“Yes, well, kraathatrogon DNA is particularly malleable. It likes to blend and mesh with new DNA as you’ve seen. So one theory as to how you have a female reproductive system is that you either could have been female before your mutation and you were mixed with human-male DNA or the reverse, you were male and somehow were mixed with human-female DNA.”

Leonardo sat back with a definite scowl. Because that was just kind of…disturbing. Never once had Leo stopped to think that maybe he had been a female. He’d always felt like a male…Well, at least he’d never felt like a _female_ specifically. As he’d aged, however, he had noticed that he wasn’t as interested in certain aspects of masculinity as his brothers. He’d thought it was because he was maturing faster. While he didn’t like to play victim, Leo had to admit there’d been times when he simply hadn’t felt like he’d fit in amongst his brothers, especially after the Invasion of Earth. He’d felt left out and _different_. But again, he’d thought it was because he was maturing faster, that and his leadership role had set him apart. Leaders couldn’t always fit in with the crowd.

As he sat and thought of this theory, it made his scales itch. Because if his DNA had been corrupted due to being handled by a female human, that could mean… “D-do you think that any of my other brothers could also be…you know…like me?”

But even as he asked the question, Leonardo didn’t think that was the case. Obviously Raph wasn’t. Besides just _looking_ at the hothead, instinct told him that Raphael was all male. From his looks to his scent, Raph screamed male-ness, and Leonardo had responded to that trait of his brother’s specifically. It had never been discussed over the years who would be the submissive partner and who would be dominate. They’d both just _known_.

Mikey and Donnie, however, while they didn’t necessarily scream stereotypical masculinity, Leo’s instincts once again told him that they weren’t like him. Sometimes the leader would meditate on all of his brothers, sometimes curious as to why it was Raph that he’d fallen in love with and not one of his other brothers. It certainly would have made things a _lot_ easier if it had been one of the younger turtles, but it had been Raphael. Always Raphael.

But he had noticed things about the younger turtles, too. Had at one time studied their attractiveness, how they moved. They were more like Raph than himself. There was a distinct male-ness to both Donatello and Michelangelo that was obvious to him.

“I do not believe so,” the professor replied, pulling Leo from his thoughts. “I’ve been studying the blood samples stored from all of your brothers, comparing it to yours, and I do not believe any of them capable of reproduction as you are.”

That was probably a good thing, Leo thought wryly. He couldn’t imagine any of his brothers in this position. Donnie would have a heart attack, Mikey would likely explode, and Raph…just no.

“My second theory – which I believe more plausible,” the android continued, “is that you’ve gradually changed over the years to accommodate the possibility of bearing young.”

At the teen’s confused face, the professor pulled up the 3-D projection of Leonardo’s unique womb. “You see, even in Dimension X, the kraagthatrogon’s are extremely flexible creatures in terms of their biology. They are capable of completely morphing into the opposite sex should the need arise – say there aren’t enough females within a herd. It’s similar to some amphibious species on your planet. It could very well be that you were all males, but with the kraagthatrogon DNA, you hormonally understood there were ‘no females in the herd,’ so to speak. To ensure that the species would continue, over the years – I suspect once you entered into puberty – you gradually began changing.”

 _Disturbing_. That was all Leo could attribute to the theory. So ever since he was supposed to be becoming a ‘man’ he was actually turning into a ‘female’…sort of. Watching silently as the professor started to point out areas that he suspected to be ‘newly developed,’ the reality of his situation once more hit Leonardo rudely in the face.

“This is messed up.”

A cold metallic hand landed on the distressed teen’s shoulder. While the face didn’t change, Leo knew the professor was concerned and pitied him. Despite being expressionless, the android always came across as animated. “Do not take this so hard, Leonardo,” he attempted to cheer. “This is a wonderful occurrence, is it not? Nothing to be ashamed of.”

It was sort of difficult to tell the professor that these feelings stemmed from more than just being able to carry young. This was more than just figuring things out with Raphael. Leo’s entire _life_ had been turned upside down, his self-identity. He wasn’t even sure who he was looking at when he stared in the mirror some days. He wasn’t the brave, bold Fearless Leader his brothers thought they knew. It was like finding out his entire life was a lie.

But he couldn’t explain this to the professor or anyone else. Every issue he was having was intertwined with everything else going on in his life and it was impossible to separate the feelings in a way that would make sense to anyone. It was convoluted and messy, nearly incomprehensible. Most of the time he wasn’t even quite certain what he felt exactly, just that he _felt_.

“Chin up!” the Fugitoid pulled the turtle out of his spiraling thoughts. “Why don’t we have a listen to those little heartbeats?”

Smiling slightly, Leo nodded, watching as he Fugitoid waved the ultrasound wand over him, before the area was filled with the static, pulsing sounds. His little ones. They were all that mattered. And Leo couldn’t wait to meet them. Ironically, they were the only ones keeping him sane most days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Armaggon.


	15. The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leonardo and April's space travels come to an end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, this chapter corresponds with Chapter 17: Lost in Space of "Losing Leo" so you will see some familiar dialogue.

It was just over a week since coming out into space with the Fugitoid and Leonardo was absolutely _exhausted_. The nightmares hadn’t let up since they started several nights back, leaving him drained and melancholy throughout the days. And when it wasn’t night terrors keeping him from rest, it was hard to truly sleep when there was still lingering nausea from the morning sickness. While there was no vomiting anymore, there were occasions when he’d feel queasy and lightheaded. It also didn’t help his stomach waking up from his subconscious verbally abusing him each morning either. Sleeping had become a cruel necessity rather than a relief.

To distract him from the misery of his weariness and hopefully cheer him, at one point April had asked if he’d felt the kids kicking or moving around. The thought of his own children beating him up on the inside had to be darkly poetic somehow, and felt a lot like a perverted metaphor of what he was doing to himself, which was hardly uplifting. It was also a strange thing to think about. To be able to feel something _alive_ moving around in his stomach was a little disconcerting. If he were honest, it was also sort of creepy. The only other time Leo had thought about feeling anything moving around in his gut was if he contracted some sort of parasite or an alien was burrowing in his intestines. Maybe he’d just watched too much _Space Heroes_ , too many sci-fi marathons with Mikey.

Thankfully, however, the Fugitoid had dissuaded the idea of kicking and large displays of motion. The fact that the children were in eggs meant that there would be considerably less movement to be felt. The eggs shells appeared to be rubbery like the normal reptiles of Earth, not like the hard shelled birds eggs. This meant that perhaps some movement might be felt, the eggs needing to shift and rotate, but it would not be like a human pregnancy where a foot could be seen pressing at the mother’s skin.

But even so, Leo decided maybe he could get use to the idea of feeling the children. After all, feeling movement was usually associated with the healthiness of the child. It was if there was nothing, no movement, that meant something was wrong. Movement might also help him make peace with how fat he was getting. Since coming into space, he’d officially gained ten pounds, twelve since finding out about the kids back on Earth.

It was getting ridiculous, making him feel fat and lazy. He’d tried to do some exercises to help him feel less pathetic, but other than some basic katas and meditation, he’d been forbidden from anything strenuous. Which was unfortunate since that left him precious little else to do. Meditation wasn’t as calming as it used to be since after a while his thoughts ultimately strayed towards Raphael and the nightmares, leaving him feeling almost worse than before. And with meditation largely kept to a maximum of an hour, that left him with the options to either read or eat. And now that his appetite was returning with a vengeance…He was pretty sure he would be unrecognizable to Raph once they saw each other again.

So that left Leo being fat, tired, and just wanting to get this whole trip over with. It couldn’t end soon enough, and he would do his part in bring it to a swift end if he could. And with them passing through a dangerous part of space, Leo wanted to help out with monitoring duties to give the others a break. Both April and Fugitoid told him on numerous occasion that he could go rest in his room instead of constantly being on the bridge. Actually, the professor encouraged him to sleep as much as he could, but that wasn’t going to happen. Leo would rather be somewhat useful than completely useless, alone with his thoughts. So he planted himself on the bridge with the others. Just in case he was needed.

Leaning on the console at his preferred station, Leo sat staring out into space, mind left drifting with a million different thoughts. He was trying to pull himself out of his latest funk, realizing he was falling into depression, but couldn’t quite manage. No matter how hard he tried to remember everything good in his life, he just…couldn’t move past the bad. Everything was weighing down on him, crushing him, the more he thought about what was happening. He couldn’t get over it.

April’s hand was on his shell, rubbing it in an attempt to make him feel less shitty. It wasn’t working, but he did appreciate the sentiment. She’d been very good at helping him manage the hopelessness he felt most days. “Maybe you should go lay down?”

Flopping forward on the console, burying his face in his arms, it was tempting to groan. He was getting tired of everyone thinking that sleeping would fix everything. It wouldn’t. Not unless he could stop himself from dreaming. And he didn’t want to be alone. “No,” his muffled whine was clearly heard by the human, who snorted lightly. But whether she was getting sick of the dramatics or found it amusing, he wasn’t sure.

“Okay. But if you fall asleep, I’m hauling you to your room.”

His turn to snort, Leo rolled his head to the side, peeking an eye open at the human. “Thanks, Mom,” he muttered.

The girl smiled brightly before turning back to watching the stars out of the viewer. She was so smug. But Leo decided she had a right to be. After everything she was doing to help. It was okay for her to tease him. Gave him something else to focus on, at any rate.

Making himself comfortable as he rested his head in his arms, Leo listened to the quiet hum of the ship as they floated through space. It was actually sort of soothing. He really was starting to doze off when a sudden lurch rocked the ship, causing everything to quake.

The emergency lights began flashing, sirens screeching. It startled Leonardo into full awareness, and he immediately went to look on the screen at his station, trying to figure out what was happening. Heart pounding, stomach dropping, there was another ram before scanners detected a haul breech in the lower decks of the ship.

April had leaped up from beside Leo and literally ran over to Raph’s old station at weapons, giving the area a quick sweep. “I don’t see anything!” she called, frantically searching for the source of danger.

The Fugitoid was typing furiously at his console, obviously too busy trying to seal off the lower decks than to bother with a reply. Leo sat watching the android, stiff and nervous as he waited to see what the hell was going on. Were they being attacked? Had they been hit by a rogue asteroid? Once the breech was sealed, the sirens ceased, plunging the bridge into a terrible quiet. Everyone waited with baited breath to see what would happen next as they found themselves listening.

Leo was just about to ask if they were in the clear, when something _huge_ rammed into the doors, completely caving it in. One quick glance at the security footage from his station, the turtle was just in time to see a dreadfully familiar suit of armor. “Fuck,” he breathed, almost inaudible.

Apparently having seen the intruder as well, the Fugitoid ran from his station, gesturing frantically to the secondary transporter room as the door continued to curl under the immense pressure ramming into it. “Quick! Through here!” he urged.

Leaving the exterior weapons station, April all but materialized before Leonardo, grabbing him before he could even draw his swords. Pushing him towards the transporter room, she barked, “Go!”

Leo resisted, trying to pull away from her in order to wield his katana. He refused to sit here like a helpless, weak invalid. “I’m not just gunna –!”

But for all his posturing and bravado, the young woman wasn’t having any of it. Unimpressed, she snarled right in his face, “GO!” With her laser blaster in one hand and tessen in the other, she came across as a fierce warrior, the kind of commanding officer from _Space Heroes_. He couldn’t argue with that.

As Leo was being pushed and herded towards the transporter room, the Fugitoid took up the task of corralling him as well, while April stood watch, gun drawn and aimed at the door. All that Leo could do was move into the hall between the bridge and transporter, expecting April and the professor to follow. Finally able to draw his swords, the turtle waited anxiously, determined to help cover them once they were also here.

Even as he waited, Leonardo couldn’t help wonder what the hell Armaggon was doing here. True, the professor had said that this area was crawling with outlaws due to its relative isolation from ‘civilization’ but what were the odds of running into the Finhead here after all these years? It had to be like a million to one. But the more the turtle thought about it, the more he wondered if Lord Dregg still held his vendetta against them. The Lord of Insects was petty enough to hang on to his anger, and Leonardo knew it was possible for people to hold such insane grudges. Case in point, the Shredder.

The bounty for the turtles’ shells was probably still out there. That’s how Armaggon had gotten dragged into this feud between the turtles and the bug in the first place. And while seemingly less insane than Dregg, the shark alien was probably just as eager to extract revenge against the Terrans if possible. In all probability, Armaggon had seen the ship and thought he could still make good on the old bounty as well as get back at the turtles.

Blinking back to the moment, Leo heard the Fugitoid commanding April to get moving, to get into the hall with him so he could seal the door. The ninja waited nervously in the transporter room. He couldn’t see anything from his position save the back of the professor, but when he heard the door to the bridge finally burst open with a loud _shriek_ , he knew things were going to get bad.

When April let out a cry, the ninja felt his face pale, dread seeping through his limbs. That didn’t sound good. But April could take care of herself. She was a trained _kunoichi._ She could handle Armaggon…

The Fugitoid was shooting back by now, and Leo could hear the laser blasts echoing all around. The ninja knew from past experience that unless the lasers hit skin, they were virtually useless on the shark. His armor was virtually impenetrable to such weapons. And because they could only use certain settings while within the ship so there wasn’t another haul breech that left their options limited.

A sudden scream from April had the turtle freaking out. What the hell was happening out there?! Instinct commanded him to run out there and start hacking the shark to pieces, to draw their attacker away from his friends. But just as he started to move towards the door, he stopped. Staring down at his plastron, at the beginning of the baby bump. What the hell could he really do out there like this? If he charged out there now, it wasn’t only himself he’d be putting in danger.

The rapid thoughts happened only within the span of a few seconds, but the sudden crash and loud grunt told him that something had happened to Armaggon. In response, the Fugitoid dashed away from the hall entrance. The next thing Leo knew, the professor was dragging a semi-conscience April in with him. She look terrible, pale and sick, but at least there wasn’t any blood or broken bones. Not that he could tell.

The moment the others were inside the transporter room, Leo slammed his hand over the controls to close and lock the doors. When that was done, he rushed over to grab April, helping her onto the transporter pad. She was shaken, like she might get sick. Was she concussed? “I’m fine,” the girl murmured, leaning heavily against the turtle. “I’m fine. I’m fine…You okay?”

A swell of affection and pity surged through the turtle as he held his friend close. Always worried about everyone but herself. This was the exact reason why Leonardo loved the girl.

“I’m going to transport you to the nearest space station,” Professor Honeycutt said, fingers flowing across the controls, even as Armaggon started ramming into the door, startling the Terrans. “Once there, you’re going to have to pay for some kind of transport to Salamandria.”

Something about the professor’s words set Leo on edge. Cuddling April close as she began to sway, Leo asked, “What about you? You’re coming too.”

The digital face appeared oddly stern, an air of resolve around him that made the ninja uncomfortable. “Someone’s going to have to stay here and ensure you make it –”

“No!” Leo cried instantly, refusing to accept the answer. How could this be happening? Everything had been fine only moments ago!

“Leo,” April blinked up at him. He stared down into dazed blue eyes, a bruise already forming clearly on the side of her face as she braced herself on his shoulder. Even before she spoke, he knew what she was going to say. “We can’t stay.”

“But – !”

“You’re more important,” the amount of irritation in the automaton’s voice startled the turtle. “All right. Ready? I’m – ”

The doors burst open and Armaggon came bounding into the room, jaws wide open. “Oh no ya don’t!” the shark barked, aiming for the android first.

Leo immediately slipped out of April’s arms and jumped forward to protect the professor, even as the Fugitoid started firing back. Slashing at the shark, Armaggon ended up landing on the controls of the transporter, his jaws stuck in the metal momentarily as Leo knocked him off his course. Ripping his teeth out, the alien turned towards the android, but the professor leapt onto the shark’s back, attempting to shock him with some kind of electric rods in his arms. Armaggon roared in pain, falling backwards, before rolling around and repeatedly smashing the android into the wall, in a way that reminded Leonardo of Leatherhead. But even when the shark was done, the professor left stunned, he grabbed the shocked cyborg before smashing him down into the floor, stomping his head until loose wiring began to electrocute the professor.

“NO!”

Without thought, Leo slashed at the shark’s armor, fear pumping through his veins. He managed to cut the bounty hunter’s arm before the shark moved to backhand the turtle. Moving his katana easily countered the move, the area was cramped and April was too close for the ninja to do much else. He heard the human mumble a curse, but couldn’t take his eyes off the bounty hunter. When Armaggon pulled a knife, Leo watched helplessly as it came at his face, his arms still raised and straining with the shark’s other thick arm. Closing his eyes, he waited for the strike.

Even when expecting the pain, it still hurt terribly. Unable to stop the scream, the knife cutting much deeper than Leonardo anticipated, the teen ended up stumbling backwards, swinging one katana wildly in reflex. He tripped as his heels hit the rise of the transporter pad. As he fumbled to right himself, one katana clattered from his hand as he covered the wounded eye in a vain attempt to stop the bleeding, he gasped in pain.

He felt April grab at him, holding his close, steadying him. Fear blossomed in the ninja’s heart as he realized he could have really lost an eye. But before he could do anything, like ask April how bad the damage was, ask if the Fugitoid was all right, what Armaggon was doing, a cold sensation stole over the reptile. And before he could force open his eyes, the next thing he knew, he was plunged into a void of excruciating pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slight delay, I've been dealing with stuff...and things. 
> 
> Next Stop: Terre 390-7!


	16. Yokai in the Woods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After getting lost while on a mission for the shogun, one samurai finds himself in strange company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let the fun begin!!

As he shuffled along in the dark night, fog blotting out the moon, Usagi had to admit defeat. He was lost. As a ronin, he’d developed an acute sense of direction as he roamed the earth from one mission to the next. It had been years since he’d last lost his way completely, the mistake of a young man. Now, however, there was no excuse. Even with the sudden thick fog, he should have been able to navigate his way through to his destination.

Stopping where he stood, the rabbit paused, taking in his surroundings, listening. He had thought he was near _Shizuoka_ and should have come to the border town by now. Should have seen the lights at some point. Sadly, there was nothing but fog.

Sighing, the samurai decided that there was no point in stumbling about in the dark any longer. Night had fallen faster than expected and the fog had not helped. Everything was still, indicating that there was no one around, and since he doubted the enemy would be as foolish as he apparently was, Usagi decided to stop and rest while he could. Perhaps when he woke from a short reprieve, things would become clearer.

He had just sat down, carefully covering himself with his cloak as he leaned against a tree, closing his eyes, when a light in the distance shattered the gloom. It did not last long, a flash, but as the rabbit sat up, nose twitching in surprise, ears erect, he did not hear any thunder to indicate the lightning just seen. Nor was there the scent of a storm on the wind.

It could have been nothing, his tired mind having conjured an image. But Usagi was too old to be fooled in such a manner. Something was going on, and he knew he had to check it out.

Jumping up, quick to gather his belongings, the samurai cautiously stalked off through the woods, relying on memory to guide him towards where the light had been. As he drew closer, he started to hear sounds. Pulling out his _tanto,_ muscles tensing, he began making plans of attack should the enemy make its appearance. But the closer he got, the more distinct the sounds became. Cries. Moaning. Someone was in distress.

The sword stayed in his hand. Even if it was an innocent passerby in trouble, he would not be taken off guard. Not on a night like this. The closer he crept, the more he suspected that there was something greater going on than what met the eye. Something almost…supernatural.

Perhaps only a half a mile away, a distinct voice could be heard calling out into the night. “ _Help! Help! Somebody, please!”_

Usagi frowned. He did not know what that meant. Obviously a different language, it sounding nothing like anything the rabbit had ever heard before. Was it some kind of code the enemy was using? But no, perhaps not. Even without knowing the words, the panic and fear in the voice was universally understood. This person was in great need of help.

There was a clearing in the fog and in the woods, as if a curtain had been pulled aside. There was a small creek, and for reasons the rabbit was too distracted to truly note, the moonlight shown down on two figures. One was lying on the ground wreathing in agony, moaning and crying, gasping out in the language the ronin did not know. The other was kneeling, hands hovering over the tormented figure, shaking. Primates, Usagi believed, or at least the kneeling figure was. It was hard to make out the other darker figure from his position.

“ _Oh God! It hurts! Oh God, April!”_

“ _It’s o-okay. It’s okay. I’m here. I’m here.”_

After only the slightest hesitation, Usagi made a decision as he sheathed his sword and started towards the pair. While a hard man, he was not dispassionate. The scene touched him. He might be able to assist in this situation. Or he might not. Either way, it was his duty to try.

“Hello there,” he called, being sure to come at the pair slowly, both hands visible and unclenched. “Do you need assistance?”

The primate spun around to stare at him with wide, pale eyes. The moment he saw her face, Usagi couldn’t help but recoil from the shocking appearance. This was no primate! It was a _yokai!_ Was it harming the fallen figure, or was that thing on the ground yet another monster?

The creature stared at him, shock obvious on its naked face, as though it had not counted on seeing anyone. But after only a moment, the strange being glanced back down at the still moaning figure, and gestured to him frantically. “ _Please help him!”_

There were many stories of _yokai_ appearing before lost travelers, but never once had Usagi believed that he would encounter such a beast. But not all the little monsters from the old tales were evil, he recalled. Sometimes they asked for help. Sometimes it was from genuine need, sometimes it was a test. But despite not having believed in the creatures since he was very small, the rabbit remembered the tales of those who did not come to the aid of _yokai_. On a night such as this, he knew better than to ignore the situation.

Pulling himself together, attempting to hide his disgust at the visage, the rabbit took a tentative step forward. “I wish to help you, but I do not understand, _yokai_.”

The pale eyes blinked several times before understanding took over. Heavily accented and broken, at last the creature spoke in a manner that he could understand. “ _Tasukete kudasai_!”

The samurai came to kneel down beside the creature warily, but nodded. “Yes. Yes, I will help. What is wrong?”

“ _Oh God, my babies_!” the injured one moaned, clutching at his middle.

The _yokai_ was openly weeping now. Apparently she did not understand as she kept pleading quietly to the samurai, “ _Kudasai, kudasai_.”

It came as a bit of a surprise to the ronin when he carefully turned the injured party over and found himself staring at a _kame._ They were a rare sight in these days, but this chance meeting was made less shocking due to the _yokai_ beside him.

A quick scan in the dark showed that it was a young man, and he was bleeding quite freely around an eye. He’d been slashed with something. Claws? A quick, sideways glance at the creature beside him disproved Usagi’s theory as the mythical monster seemed to be lacking talons. Unless it was a shapeshifter…

But despite the wound looking deep, the turtle’s distress did not come from the flesh wound. Instead, he was clutching at his middle, face scrunched up in pure agony. Now that he was close, Usagi could see that there was vomit nearby. Had the young _kame_ been poisoned? The samurai could not see blood emanating from anywhere other than the eye, but the turtle’s clothes were dark. It would be hard to tell in the night.

“I need to check him over,” Usagi made sure his voice was soft so as not to agitate either the _yokai_ or the young man. “I’m going to touch you,” he told the turtle. “Please hold still.”

Despite continuing to speak in the gibberish Usagi did not understand, the rabbit’s own words seemed to be understood to a point. The _kame_ began gasping, but tried to still his motions. “ _My babies. April, it hurts.”_

Had this young man fled in the night? He was not wearing anything save this loose robe, but there was a _katana_ lying near him. Had he been attacked? Had he been forced to flee his home?

There were no visible injuries that Usagi could see, but he was surprised when he pulled the robe open to find that the turtle’s belly was slightly distended. Glancing up at the face clenched in pain, even in the dark it was plain to see that this young man was fit. There seemed to be no fat on him, yet his stomach was rounding. Did he have some kind of disease? He certainly didn’t appear malnourished.

 _“My babies!_ ”

This was beyond Usagi’s skills. Even if he knew what was wrong, he would still need to get this young man someplace safe. Someplace well lit. Quick to tie the robe back around the turtle securely, Usagi carefully pulled the _kame_ into a sitting position. “We need to find someplace to house us,” he spoke softly. “We need to find you help.”

“ _It hurts! God, it hurts_!”

“ _Tasukete kudasai!_ ” the _yokai_ grabbed a hold of Usagi’s arm, the grip painful.

“Yes, yes I am,” he assured, becoming desperate in their hysteria. Between the lack of communication, the anguished moans, and his own paranoia, Usagi was becoming increasingly troubled. Slinging the turtle’s arm over his shoulders, Usagi attempted to get the reptile to his feet. While the action was not resisted, the ronin was surprised by how heavy the turtle was. He was not all that familiar with reptiles to begin with, and he’d never seen a _kame_ before, but realizing that shells probably weighed more than he’d have thought, he tried to ignore the surprise to instead focus on keeping the young man up. The _yokai_ caught on to what he was doing, and rushed over to do the same for the _kame_ on the other side. Between the two of them, the turtle barely had to help them at all.

“ _Please, April. I-it hurts. God, I-I th-think I’ve lost them! Oh God…”_

The monster’s sobbing almost became debilitating, its feet faltering for a moment even as it continued the babbled speech. Usagi assumed it was attempting to comfort the turtle. Honestly, he wished he could do the same, but all he could offer was quiet murmurs in his own language. Hopefully the young man would understand the sentiment.

 _Shizuoka_ should have been near. They should have at least felt the hill starting to slant down by now. But as they continued to stumble through the woods, the turtle’s condition getting worse, Usagi got the feeling that he was more lost than ever before. He felt disoriented, something in the air. His instincts told him that there was something odd going on.

The turtle’s legs gave out completely, and not expecting to suddenly take on his full weight meant that the trio fell forward. Usagi caught himself from falling face first forward, and the _yokai_ also managed to catch herself – Usagi believed it to be female, at least – but the young man went down to his knees before flopping over towards the samurai. Usagi allowed the _kame_ to lean against him as he heaved for breath. Sweat was pouring from the green skin, and the blood that had early been flowing freely from the eye wound was caking over, swelling shut under a red cocoon. The young man, surely still just a child, looked on the edge of passing out. They needed help. _Now_.

As they waited, taking a breather, a light suddenly shown not far in front of them. “Hello?” an elderly voice called. “Who is there?”

The _yokai_ gave a sob, but Usagi ignored the creature in favor of helping the boy. Mustering his strength, he lifted the _kame_ fully into his arms and started towards the light. The _yokai_ followed. “Yes, hello!” he called, straining under the weight. “We need help!”

Whoever held the lantern did not move. But as they drew closer, the light showed its wielder to be yet another _kame_. An old woman that Usagi would never venture a guess as to how old. Was this boy related to her? He certainly hoped so.

When they were close enough that she could get a good look, the old woman beckoned to the three. “This way.” She did not even blink at the _yokai_ standing amongst them. “Bring him inside. Quickly!”

Out of the fog a building appeared, large and grand. It looked almost like the home of a noble, yet the samurai could not hear anyone else around. No servants. But ignoring the curiosity of the building, he followed the old _kame_ and carried the moaning turtle in as the _yokai_ trailed closely after.

“In here,” the old woman instructed as they entered through a door. The rabbit had to blink several times as he entered into one of the most well-lit area’s he’d ever been in. It was almost as though it were daytime inside. But as the boy’s thrashing began increasing, Usagi cut his inspection of the home short.

They entered a room where a bed was already made up. Together, the three carefully deposited the boy down onto the soft mat as the old woman set to work. “Give me that,” she ordered, and blinking, Usagi grabbed the cup that had been set beside the bed and handed it to her. He waited with wide eyes as she helped the younger turtle drink, murmuring softly to him while he pleaded with her in his own language.

Now that there was light, Usagi could see the tears streaming from the child’s eyes, one side mixed heavily with blood. His hands were once more on his stomach as he turned onto his side, curling up as he gasped. The _yokai_ was at his head, carefully petting him and staring between the old turtle and the samurai. It startled the rabbit to be staring into eyes the color of a lake. Cool, wide, expressive. He’d never seen any creature with blue eyes before.

But more shocking than her eyes was her hair. It was red frosted in gold, and it was only on the top of her head. The rest of the skin he could see was virtually hairless, but there was a smattering of darker spots across her nose and cheeks, as well as a deep bruise to the side of her head. What the creature was wearing was also completely bizarre, cloth unlike anything he’d ever seen, bright yellow. Over all, she was stranger in the light than under the moon.

The old woman shoved a wet cloth into the _yokai’s_ hands, pointing for her to rest it on the boy’s forehead. The creature did without hesitation, cooing words that must have been comfort. Usagi watched as the females attended to the boy, feeling out of place. He’d cared for wounded men before, but this was different. This seemed more of a job for women. Obviously they had more patience with such things than he did, and slowly, the rabbit stood and backed away. He was reluctant to leave, to simply abandon the boy here in such company – a monster and a stranger – but he was no better than they were. Besides, it stood to reason that the turtles knew each other.

“Do you know each other, _obaasan_?” Usagi asked, simply wanting to put his mind at ease so he could leave and be on his way.

The old woman glanced at the samurai, eyes glittering black in the light, before turning back to the boy, forcing him to drink more of whatever was in the cup, despite his weak protests. “Not yet.”

The oddness of the reply took the rabbit off guard. “Excuse me?”

“The hour grows late, Samurai,” she said with an air of finality. “You must rest here tonight. Tomorrow you must explain to me how you came across such…interesting characters,” she turned a smile at the _yokai_ , encouraging her to clean the eye wound.

“I did not tell you I was samurai,” Usagi stiffened, eyes narrowing.

“You didn’t need to,” the woman sniffed with disinterest. “I have lived long enough in this world to know a warrior when I see one.”

Bowing his head, forced to accept the answer, the rabbit still found himself wary of the entire situation. It was more than strange. A part of him wondered if this was not some _yokai_ trickery. Was any of this even real? Hoping only that he had not offended the spirits, Usagi followed the old woman who showed him to a different room, one lit with only a candle.

“If I need you, you must come,” she insisted.

And figuring that she would need him to help her with the young man, the rabbit nodded slowly. “ _Hai_ , _obaasan_.”

She regarded him, as if evaluating, before deciding he measured up. With one last nod, she turned and shuffled away, closing the _shoji_ behind her.

Standing alone in the room, the rabbit took a moment to inspect. The building was…odd. Not quite like any place he had ever been. The structure was solid, reminding him of the palace or the home of a lord, but there was more to it. He just didn’t know how to describe it. But deciding he would be as safe as he could be tonight, he carefully removed his weapons and removed his shoes – which, in his haste, he had forgotten to remove by the door. Instead, he sat on the sleeping mat that had strangely been prepared, and laid down.

As he closed his eyes, he could hear movement in the room not too far from him. The light from where the boy was being treated was faint through the paper, but still gave a soft glow in the rabbit’s room. He could hear the women moving, the young man’s low moans.

“ _My babies. Please, a-are they all right? Please…_ ”

It was such a tired, forlorn tone, it pulled at the ronin’s heart. He had not felt so affected by such tragedy in many years. After the loss of so much of his family, after losing so many friends, after the war, he’d long ago given up expressing strong sympathies. While talented in the art of war, Usagi was a tender heart by nature. He despised seeing the suffering of others. But that was simply the world. Sometimes it could not be avoided. Sometimes that was just life.

But as he listened to the quiet pleas of the turtle dying down, he prayed that it was simply due to exhaustion having caught up to the boy. He hoped that during the course of the night the old woman would rouse him for his assistance. He hoped that when the sun rose in the east, there would still be a patient that needed tending in the house.

That is, if this was all truly real and not a trick conjured by monsters. If it was, the rabbit hoped he had passed whatever test the creatures had set before him, and he would be able to continue on in his true mission tomorrow. For now, he rested, enjoying the unexpected comfort of a bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tasukete kudasai – please help  
> Obaasan – grandmother  
> (I’ve seen that this is a polite way to address an old woman. As with everything, however, please correct me if I’m wrong!)


	17. The Lady of the House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April is introduced to the Ancient One and Usagi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Thursday!

April had no idea when she’d fallen asleep, but startled awake when a noise roused her from the darkness of unconsciousness. Jumping, her eyes immediately wide open, in a matter of seconds the _tessen_ was in hand and open. Because as her mind attempted to catch her up to the situation, nothing good popped up.

The sight that greeted her as blue eyes adjusted was momentarily disorienting and confusing. The area was dark, lit by only a few candles. She definitely wasn’t home, at the farmhouse, or even on the Fugitoid’s ship. Bits of images flashed through her mind of the night before, excruciating pain, vomiting in the woods, Leo...

“Oh God,” she whispered, snapping her head around until her eyes landed on the prone figure resting on a futon. It was Leonardo. His eye was heavily bandaged all around the right side of his face and he was unnaturally pale. Other than that, however, he looked okay. If not for the bandage, she might have thought he was merely sleeping. _Or in a coma_.

That was a frightening thought. The last time Leonardo looked even remotely like this, he wasn’t conscious again until three months later. But he wasn’t as injured as he’d been back then, she had to tell herself. He didn’t have any of the head trauma. The only true injury sustained in their fight with Armaggon was the eye wound, which she hoped he wouldn’t lose, and the horrible beam onto this planet.

Feeling overwhelmed as everything caught up to her, April felt her eyes water. Reaching out, she touched her friend’s arm, lost and apprehensive of their current situation. As she stared at him, she became less worried with the eye and more for the precious little eggs yet to be born. A hand settled ever so lightly on his plastron, and closing her eyes, April tried to focus her powers on sensing them. Make sure they were still there and okay. Because Leonardo had been so scared last night, so worried that he had lost them due to the rough beam.

When a voice broke the silence, April startled away from Leo, _tessen_ up and ready once more. When she caught sight of an old turtle standing in the doorway, the human paused, uncertain. It took another moment before she remembered that this was the old woman from the night before. She was the one that had helped Leo.

Relaxing and letting her hands fall back by her sides, the two females stared at one another. Even in the dark and from across the room, April could sense that the old turtle was powerful. Something about her sent a chill running down the girl’s spine. There was just so much… _power_. An otherworldly aura filled the old body, and it left the human in awe. This wasn’t just an elderly creature. There was more to her. Much more.

The turtle spoke again and April desperately tried to parse out the sentence. She recalled from the night before that the language sounded like Japanese, or something similar. Over the course of knowing the turtles, it had been both Donnie and Leonardo who had attempted to teach her more Japanese than just the basic commands that Splinter used. While Donatello was thorough in his lectures, his teaching of language was…exhausting. Because he was so much smarter than her, because such things were so easy for him, he tended to get ahead of himself, believing that others should simply understand and remember. He’d taught her so much, but April hadn’t been able to truly grasp any of it.

It had been Leo, who after one particularly frustrating lesson with Donnie, sat with her, made tea, and started speaking in Japanese. He never spent more than a half hour with her, but he would take some time to simply sit and talk. At first it was just him speaking _at_ her, pointing to things and repeating a word a million times over and over. As she managed to pick up basics from Donnie’s lessons, she would then be able to respond a little bit to whatever Leo was talking about, eventually realizing that he was giving her textbook sentences.

Japanese lessons had come and gone depending on the importance of missions or projects Donnie needed to complete, but sometimes Leo would speak a quick word to her, sometimes Donnie would try to squeeze in a lesson, and gradually she knew basic words and phrases. Over the years April knew she should have learned more, she had two great and willing teachers, but she was convinced she simply lacked the talent for learning and retaining language. She’d barely passed Spanish in high school. But now was the test to how much she remembered, how much she knew. Never once as she learned had April believed she would need to know Japanese as a survival tool and have use of it as anything other than understanding some words here or there because she wanted to go to Japan with Miwa someday.

Trying her best to remember the lessons she could, a headache coming on the harder she attempted to concentrate, April pushed herself to try. This was important, no time to worry about being embarrassed. “O- _ohayou gozaimasu,_ _”_ she stuttered through the greeting _. “Desu_ April _.”_

The old turtle stared at her for a long moment, before shuffling close. The human squirmed, hoping she was saying everything correctly. She was having a hard time recalling anything right now and really hoped she hadn’t somehow managed to say something offensive. That would just be what they needed right now.

But instead of being offended or saying anything back, the old turtle came to stand before the human. Her black eyes were piercing, almost hypnotic. When she spoke, the voice was both deep and commanding. The words were fluid, entrancing. And after what felt like both a split second and a million years simultaneously, when April finally processed that the woman was no longer speaking, blinked out of shock. “ _Wakarimasen_ ,” she whispered, not even sure why she did.

Faster than the human’s eyes could move, the old turtle reached out and grabbed April’s head, scaly hands resting on both cheeks. The girl’s eyes widened as she was once again hypnotized as she stared into the abyss before her, mouth hanging open. The old woman didn’t break eye contact, but pressed sharp claws lightly against the human’s face. What happened was a mystery to April, it feeling almost as if her soul had separated from her body before crashing back into it. Gasping, she instinctively pulled away, sweat running down her face. When she caught the breath that had been stolen from her lungs, she stared up fearfully at the creature before her. “Wh-what?”

“Do you understand now?”

“I…” April continued to gawk at the old turtle, before nodding slowly, miraculously understanding the language much easier than before. _“H-hai.”_

 _“_ Good,” the old turtle nodded. “It will be easier this way. You learn properly later. No time now.”

Completely amazed, April blinked as the old woman knelt beside Leonardo, lifting his head. As she delicately cradled his head, beginning the task of helping him drink more of the tea-like liquid she’d forced on him the night before, April finally found her voice.

_“What is that_ _?”_

The words that came out were English. Frowning at her, the old woman shook her head, as if disappointed. “You have a strong mind, child,” the Japanese was understood perfectly. “You can understand me. You will need to learn to speak so that others will understand you. I can only help you with this burden so much.”

Trying to make sense of what that meant, it took a few minutes before April picked up the jist. This old turtle had made it so she could understand the Japanese, but could not make April speak it. That did make things easier, but there was still going to be plenty of frustration. “Okay,” she murmured, nodding to herself, before pointing to the cup in her hand. “ _Nani_?” _I really hope that’s the correct use_ , she thought urgently, vaguely aware she probably sounded like some sort of caveman to the turtle.

Apparently she was understood well enough, because the old woman nodded. “It will help settle Leonardo-san’s stomach,” she explained. “It is medicine. It will not harm the children.”

April nearly sighed in relief, before frowning. There had been no time the night before to exchange names or any personal information. Staring at the old turtle warily, the human felt a thrill of something not so good trickle through her veins. She hadn’t told anyone Leo’s name. Unless the woman had been able to glean it from the human’s frantic pleas the night before? Throughout the night April had said a lot of stuff, trying to comfort her friend, perhaps she’d said his full name? Perhaps the woman had understood it as a name? Or did she somehow understand English?

Turning narrowed eyes away from the old turtle and back to her unconscious friend, April decided to give the stranger the benefit of the doubt. There was a lot April couldn’t remember well right now, after all.

Taking a deep breath, the human pointed to Leo’s stomach again. “Okay?” It was only when the old woman stared back at her with a raised eye ridge that she remember ‘okay’ probably wasn’t as universal here as it was back on Earth. _“Ii_ _?”_

 _“_ Yes, yes, they are well.”

That was probably the best news she’d heard since landing. There had been a real panic the night before when she was certain Leo had lost the eggs. He’d been in so much pain, crying and gasping…she’d never seen him like that before. Not with something like this. Not when he was hurt. It was actually worse than his panic attack back in the kitchen before they’d left Earth. April vowed never to let Leo go through something like this again. _Never_.

After helping Leo drink, the turtle moved on to inspecting him. Pulling down the covers, she began checking his sides and plastron nodding to herself as she took stock of his condition. “This needed help?” she pointed to the bridges that the Fugitoid had unlatched. April nodded, causing the old turtle to wince in sympathy. “ _Aiya_. Poor thing.”

April wanted to ask if the whole ‘unlatching’ thing was common amongst turtle like…well, like them, but didn’t have the language skills to ask. Instead she watched as the old woman pulled out a little jar, coating her fingers in a brownish colored paste. It was a salve, and she applied it liberally to Leo’s bridges as well as a bit on his lower plastron. The motions were deliberate but gentle. The human relaxed, wondering if this old woman had gone through something similar in her life. She seemed to know what to do. Did she have any children?

Apparently knowing her train of thought, the old turtle started to explain, “This will help soften the plastron, make it more flexible. Sometimes amongst kame, waiting for it to occur naturally takes too long. Is painful. This will help ease his suffering.”

April made sure to take note of what jar the salve had come from, as well as what it looked like just in case it was needed later. Reaching out despite herself, she petted her friend’s lower plastron, trying to feel some sort of connection to the eggs. She hadn’t managed it before, but she had to try, needed the reassurance. If anything happened to them, it was beyond imagination how Leo would react. Those little ones were the only thing keeping the turtle together.

The sound of the _shoji_ opening had April whipping her head around, once more tense and ready to defend her friend if need be. But only the rabbit from the night before came in, his fur frizzy, sticking at odd angles, and his demeanor ragged. He’d obviously not gotten a good night’s sleep either, and the human felt a swell of pity for him. After all, he’d been the one to first to try and help. He was the one that brought them here, to this old woman, who knew exactly how to care for the ailing ninja.

“Forgive me,” the rabbit bowed his head low before straightening. “I do not wish to intrude, however, I’ve come to inquire after the boy. Is he well? Do you need my assistance?”

This rabbit was a sweet soul, April could sense it. His worry was palpable, and the fact that he appeared so concerned for a perfect stranger endeared him to her immediately.

“I do not require your help, no,” the old turtle said, “But the boy fairs much better. You brought him to me in time. Any longer and he would have lost the eggs.”

That had the rabbit standing up straighter, staring hard at the old woman, nose twitching. “I beg your pardon? Eggs?”

“Of course,” she snapped impatiently. “He is gravid.”

Wherever they were, like Earth, it was apparently not all that common for males to become pregnant, or gravid, judging by the rabbit’s completely astonished expression. “He is…? Impossible. Such things are only instances in fairytales.”

“And yet is there not always a grain of truth hidden within stories?”

That had the male pausing as he assessed the situation as he processed her words, eyes sometimes flickering over to April. Still in doubt, he shook his head, “That cannot be,” he murmured.

“Perhaps not amongst the mammalian,” the old turtle sniffed.

Curious now, the rabbit tore his eyes away from Leo to turn his full attention to the woman. “Is such thing common amongst the reptilian?”

“No,” she admitted almost sheepishly after a pause, “but it has been known to happen on occasion.”

“How often?”

“…”

Getting the picture, the rabbit’s ears drooped slightly as he realized the old woman was likely only pulling his leg, although he still seemed unsure what to believe. Instead, he walked in a little further, eyes trained on Leo. As he approached, however, his eyes momentarily glanced at April. He was still wary of her, distrustful, but she supposed she could forgive him of that. This was a planet where the anthropomorphic ruled, so seeing a human being was probably equivalent for a human seeing a mutant on Earth. It was fairly clear to her that this place must also not get a lot of alien traffic. If the rabbit’s initial reaction was anything to go by, April was willing to bet seeing not only humans, but other aliens whose appearance were out in left field, would probably astonish him as well.

The old woman caught the staring, and waved the rabbit off. “That is April-san,” she introduced for her. “She is a friend of Leonardo-san,” she nodded towards the unconscious turtle.

Cocking his head to the side, ears perking, the rabbit finally sat with the females. “Leo-nardo-san,” he rolled the name around on his tongue. The name came out sounding completely foreign to the human’s ears. “Unusual. I am Miyamoto Usagi,” he inclined his head to the turtle and the human. “And who might you be, _obaasan_?”

“You may call me the Ancient One,” she replied evenly, a strange vibration emanating from her, causing April to shiver.

The rabbit – Usagi – seemed to understand that there was more to the woman than what met the eye as well. Bowing his head, as if to give her more honor, he held it before straightening and focusing back on Leo. For whatever reason, he appeared fascinated with the turtle, but April couldn’t really fault him. Males having babies were certainly something to spark interest.

Sharp dark eyes caught April watching, and she felt her face flush in embarrassment. Ducking her head down, she hoped she hadn’t caused offense. This was just as strange for her as it was for him. It’s not like she knew much more than he did in terms of what the hell was going on.

“April-san,” he called, her name accented oddly. “How do you know him?” he pointed to Leo as he spoke slowly.

Trying to think of the proper word, it took the girl a moment or so before she managed to reply, “Friend. My friend.”

The rabbit raised an eye ridge before accepting the answer. “The _yokai_ does not speak Japanese well?” he directed the question back to the Ancient One, causing the human to blink. _Yokai? Her_?? Is _that_ what he thought she was? “Does she understand me?”

“Understands, but still learning to speak,” the old turtle assured.

Usagi nodded. “I see.” Looking at Leo, he turned back to the Ancient One. “Is there anything you require of me, Ancient One? Or am I free to leave? I have responsibilities that – ”

“That can wait,” the turtle interrupted easily, waving him off. “You must stay here a while longer yet. I will need your help with the boy.”

He frowned. “You said that he was fairing well?”

“Yes, but he will still need help when he wakes,” she explained. “He has undergone great trauma. I will need a man around this house to help me.”

The Ancient One suddenly appeared particularly fragile in that moment as she turned large pleading eyes up at the rabbit. It took a moment before April realized she was trying to manipulate Usagi into doing what she wanted more for the sake of getting her way than from the actual need of his help. Something told her that the old turtle could care for herself very well, as well as anyone in her home. But stroking the male ego, appealing to his chivalrous demeanor, she had the rabbit already nodding. “Of course I shall help you, _obaasan_. However,” he added, just before the turtle could claim total victory, “I am on an important mission for the shogun. I must report back soon.”

“Yes, yes, yes,” the Ancient One snorted, abandoning her frailty as she waved him off, standing to shuffle towards the door. “All will be well with them. You stay here and help me first. You may go back to your shogun later.”

And as she locked eyes with the rabbit once the old woman left the room, April decided that spending time in the home of ‘the Ancient One’ was sure to be an interesting experience. For _all_ of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohayou gozaimasu – Good morning.  
> Desu – I’m…  
> I don’t understand – wakarimasen  
> Nani – What?   
> Ii - Good?


	18. First Impressions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leonrado wakes up and meets Usagi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's that time of year. The time illness abounds.   
> Hope you all had better days than me! :D

What is going through his head? _Leonardo wondered not for the first time. What did the temperamental, rough and tough Raphael think about when he wasn’t fighting or starting a fight? What was it he thought about when he believed no one was watching?_

_Like right now._

_Raph was in a bad mood today. Not that that was much of a surprise, but instead of fighting, yelling, and generally stomping around the lair, he’d decided to take to the tunnels, breaking surface to run in the open air. Worried because his brother hadn’t even taken the time to scream at him, Leo had decided to follow. Not that he didn’t believe Raph was capable of taking care of himself, but it was just that the younger turtle had been oddly…pensive in his anger. Frustrated. Leo just needed to be sure Raph was okay._

_Keeping back, sticking solely to the shadows, when Leonardo finally stopped, he found his younger brother sitting on a rooftop, gazing out over the city. There was a stray cat on his lap, the ninja petting it absentmindedly. From his hiding place, the leader could see his brother’s lips moving, meaning he was probably ranting and grumbling to the cat. Yet despite the harshness of Raph’s face, his motions were careful, soft. The cat certainly didn’t seem to mind the attention, squirming around on the mutant’s lap, head-butting the turtle and rubbing against him liberally in a sign of pure affection._

Raphael would be wonderful with children, too.

 _The thought startled Leo enough that his hand nearly slipped off the roof ledge he was leaning against. Recovering himself quickly so as not to give away his position, the leader could not take his eyes away from his brother. Despite wondering where the hell_ that _thought had come from as he watched the angry turtle continue to pet the feline, a smile finally breaking out over pouting lips, Leonardo saw the truth in the notion. Thick, strong hands so proficient in violence, but just as capable of tenderness; sharp, harsh tongue with the capacity to whisper loving encouragement._

_Turning way, deciding that whatever plagued his brother’s mind did not need the elder turtle’s meddling, the leader turned and slowly made his way back to the lair. Even if he didn’t find out the source of his brother’s angst, he believed he had gleaned more valuable insight into Raphael’s personality. And as he fell asleep that night, Leo couldn’t help the warm smile that stretched across his lips._

**oOoOoOo**

Everything hurt. The pounding in his head and the burning of his eye was excruciating. It wasn’t the worst he’d ever felt, or at least he didn’t think so, but it hurt badly enough.

Taking careful stock of himself, Leonardo forced open his eyes, wondering what the hell had happened. It was disconcerting when he realized he could only see out of one eye, but he continued to lay still in an attempt to organize his thoughts, staring at a ceiling he did not recognize. It was wooden, instantly setting his nerves on edge. He had no memory of what had happened, where he was, why he couldn’t see properly.

It wasn’t easy, attempting to stay calm, but Leonardo knew the importance of keeping a cool head. Panic never helped anything. So he continued to lay still, mind racing, taking deep steady breaths. A wave of nausea washed over him, his hand instantly going to his stomach, lightly tracing his belly in an attempt to soothe away the hurt…

THE EGGS.

He couldn’t remember what had happened exactly, could only now recall flashed of images, white and red and green, while he’d been thrown into the worst pain he’d ever experienced in his life. It was as though someone had pulled him inside out while hacking off his limbs. Every nerve ending had been set on fire, and he’d been slowly suffocating. Couldn’t breathe. He remembered blood, agony, while clutching his stomach, vomiting.

A gasp escaped the turtle as he turned onto his side, eyes squeezing shut, ignoring the flash of pain. He’d lost them. His eggs. They were gone. He’d been in so much pain, been hurt somehow. There was no way they were still alive. They were dead, and it was all his fault.

Keening softly as despair overtook him, Leonardo curled farther into himself, wishing he had died. Why should he live and not them? They had yet to even begin to live. If anyone deserved death, it was him, not the innocent little souls. He hadn’t protected them. Hadn’t cared for them. And now they were dead, and it was all his fault.

What had he done?

Hands came to rest on his shoulder, and in his torment, Leo jerked out of the hold, pushing the well-meaning hand away. “Don’t touch me!” he hissed, sitting up to find himself staring into a face he did not know.

It was a rabbit. Blinking back the tears that slipped down his cheeks freely, rage still blazing in his eyes with self- loathing and preparation for an attack, Leo took in the features of a rather startled, human-like rabbit wearing a dark blue _kimono._ A mutant? No, an alien. He’d been out in space before, hadn’t he?

The rabbit was quick to regain his composure, seemingly unintimidated by the hostile display and posture. It served to frustrate Leonardo all the more, and for one insane moment, he nearly flung himself at the other creature, wanting to fight. Because in the back of his mind, he hoped the rabbit would kill him. Why should he live when his children had died?

But no, he wasn’t alone, was he? April. Where was April? She’d been with him, too. He needed to find her, protect her as he’d failed to protect his children.

After regaining his composure, the rabbit held up his hands slowly so the turtle could see them. He did not attempt to touch Leonardo again. “Forgive me,” his voice was low, a quiet Japanese that might have surprised Leo more if he wasn’t so angry and distressed. “But you must remain calm. You should not move so suddenly.”

Narrowing his eyes at the stranger, not trusting the situation or the stranger, the turtle’s eyes flashed wildly. “Where’s my friend?” he demanded, tone commanding despite being injured sitting in bed crying. “What did you do with her?”

Surprise once more graced the rabbit’s face, as if not expecting a reply. But working through whatever had taken him aback, he nodded slowly, as if to put Leo at ease. It wasn’t working. “She is well. April-san is outside gathering herbs.”

He knew April’s name. Leo had to keep from fidgeting as his scales itched at the revelation. Did April know this guy, or had he forced the information from her? Was she really safe and simply outside, or was she being held captive? Did she need help?

But even as the paranoid distrust began to settle in his bones, Leonardo knew none of his concerns had any real validity. Inspection of the rabbit showed that he did not appear hostile. In fact, there was nothing but sincerity and genuine concern on his face as he watched the younger male work through his panicked confusion. The ninja could not sense any immediate danger, could sense no deceit. Perhaps this man was simply a Good Samaritan?

Yet the turtle was unable to overcome his distrust. If April was truly free and not being held prisoner, why wasn’t she here with him? Surely she would want to be here when he woke?

A faint flare of ache in his stomach had the turtle turning his attention away from the rabbit. Staring back down at his plastron, pushing the thick woolen blanket aside a bit, Leonardo’s fierce expression once more crumbled as he lightly ran shaking fingers over his still distended belly. The fear and anguish was swift to return as his mind began devouring him with self-hatred and despair.

But just before he could tip over the edge, into the void, the most beautiful words Leonardo had heard were quietly uttered from beside him. “They are fine.”

Eyes coming back into focus through the tears, the turtle blinked. “Wh-what?”

The rabbit, although appearing uncomfortable, held the younger man’s eyes. “The eggs. They’re fine. You were examined and the eggs are still doing well.”

Relief crashed into the turtle, anger instantly wilting under the declaration. Head falling down to his chest, Leo allowed the truth to wash over him, ignoring the tears that escaped. They were cleansing, and soon he was gasping, trying to recover from the news.

ALIVE! His babies were still alive! He hadn’t lost them. They were alive, they were well. He hadn’t killed them!

Pressing his lips together in a vain attempt to get himself together, Leo nodded, eye still squeezed shut. It took several moments before he was able to utter anything intelligible. “Thank you,” he whispered, managing to look at the rabbit once more. “Thank you.”

Clearly he had no true understanding of what had been going through the turtle’s head, but the rabbit apparently knew enough. Bowing his head low, leaning forward slightly, the stranger straightened. Compassion was deeply etched into his furry visage, and he gave just the slightest hint of a smile. “You are welcome.”

Completely drained of energy, Leo felt himself swaying, head dizzy from the sudden unexpected hurricane of emotions he’d experienced in too short of time span. As he tried to lean back on his hands, wanting to lay back, he felt more than saw the rabbit make a move forward. “Please, let me help you.”

This time when the rabbit reached out and touched him, Leonardo did not pull away. He allowed the other to help him back, before closing his eyes with a deep breath. His babies were alive. Never had he been more relieved in his life.

Peeling open his one heavy eye, Leo stared at the rabbit in a whole new light. The other didn’t notice at first, attention captured in making sure the turtle was covered and the blanket was smoothed. But when dark eyes caught him staring, he straightened, stiff, as if not knowing what to expect.

“Who are you?”

“I am Miyamoto Usagi.”

While there was still a part of Leonardo that was unsure, he decided to take a chance. Because if this man had wanted to hurt Leo, he would have done so already. Wouldn’t have bothered to help him this much. “Hamato Leonardo.”

“Hamato-san,” Usagi bowed once more politely. “A pleasure to meet you.”

Leo allowed himself a small smile in return, feeling sleep pulling his down quickly into its dark embrace. “Thank you…”

**oOoOoOo**

As the boy, Hamato Leonardo, fell back into a much more natural looking slumber, Usagi was left with mixed feelings. He had been asked by the Ancient One to watch the boy while she took the _yokai_ out to gather herbs for the teas needed in helping to restore the younger turtle’s health. While late in the morning, the samurai agreed, hoping that once they women had gathered enough, he would be discharged from his duty here and he could go on his way. But after witnessing the boy’s waking, watching every violent emotion he’d experienced…

How could he just leave? Clearly the turtle had been through great trauma and was in no state to be left alone or unprotected. While his face and posture at the beginning had been fierce, that of a warrior, it had been clear to the samurai that it had also been a desperate display. The child was in no condition to fight, yet believing himself in harm’s way. Believing his _yokai_ friend in danger, he’d been prepared to risk it all.

Glancing at the _katana_ that stood in the corner, Usagi wondered if the boy had skill with the blade or if he had simply grabbed it in his obvious flight into the woods. How the boy and the monster had ended up in the woods the night before was still a mystery. Usagi desperately wished to ask, but with the _yokai_ unable to truly speak and the boy in no condition to interrogate, he was left to continue to wonder. If what he had just seen was any indication, the samurai would bet that the child had at least some knowledge in the art of self-protection.

But even if he turned out to be capable of caring for himself, after listening to the tormented moans and watching as he wept, Usagi found himself incapable of leaving. At least yet. This boy…he needed help. Needed protection. He was in such a fragile, unique situation. The samurai could only imagine what his life must have been like prior to these resent events, could only hope that they were not as grim as they appeared to be.

Readjusting in his sitting position, the rabbit took a moment to look at the boy. Really look at him. To see not simply a sleeping body that was in need of care.

It had been most surprising when he had first heard the boy speak. Not only had he been able to speak Japanese unlike his companion, but the voice that came from the turtle was much different than he would have imagined. After learning the turtle was capable of bearing young, Usagi had not specifically imagined any sort of voice for the boy, but the deepness of the tone was not expected. Instead of a light tenor, closer in pitch to females, it was deep, baritone, _masculine_. And his face, while as beautiful and sweet as any female when resting, had been just as capable of twisting into a fearsome snarl to invoke fear. It had a harshness in it when awake that Usagi would never associated with women.

But perhaps most striking of all were his eyes. Like the _yokai_ , they were blue, a color never seen save in ledged, associated only with the mythical. But unlike the cool watery eyes of the _yokai_ that invoked images of peaceful lakes, the turtle’s eyes were dark, _fathomless_. Deeper than the depths of the ocean and just as chilling, Usagi could honestly say he’d never seen anything like them. So strong, hypnotizing, both mesmerizing and suffocating at the same time. They were beautiful and powerful, and the rabbit believed it would be a true pity if the boy should end up losing the injured one.

Staring at the most unique part of this whole mystery, not for the first time since finding out earlier that morning, Usagi couldn’t help but marvel at the fact that the boy was actually gravid. Was this the result of a natural occurrence, or was this some kind of _yokai_ mischief? Had the boy fallen into some sort of magical game of monsters? _Yokai_ were said to be incredibly wicked in their games, so had this boy simply found himself at the mercy of the spirits?

Obvious the boy had been running, in nothing save a robe and having only a _katana_ for protection. Perhaps he had not been running from an attack by Hebi’s forces or caught up in some kind of battle? Perhaps he had been run out of his home? Had the pregnancy been a secret that had finally been exposed? Had he been run out from his village once it was discovered he was with child? Had the people believed him to be a bad omen? A monster? Had he been cast out for being a freak?

The thought was disturbing, even if Usagi had to admit, he wouldn’t know how to handle discovering someone he knew in this boy’s position. Surely there had been someone sympathetic to boy’s plight? What of the turtle’s mate? Surely the mate of this boy would stand beside him, protect him? Where was the sire? Had he been killed in protecting the boy as he ran? Had he been too ashamed to step up and offer the turtle security? Or, more disturbingly, had this pregnancy resulted from a rape? Usagi wasn’t naïve. He knew there were males out there that adored an exotic conquest. Perhaps the boy’s secret had been discovered and someone had taken advantage of him, only to abandon him soon after?

Sighing with a small shake of his head, the samurai decided there was no use making such dramatic speculations. The truth of the situation would have to come later, and only if the boy wished to speak of it. While curious, Usagi would not pry. Honestly, it was none of his business, and such deeply personal information should only be shared willingly.

For now, however, the rabbit decided that he would be the protection this child no longer had or ever had. He would watch out for Leonardo and ensure he was safe and well taken care of before entertaining the thought of leaving. His mission was not so very pressing, Usagi supposed. The information he would bring the shogun was not something they had not already guessed before. A day or so longer would not be detrimental.

Settling in, Usagi allowed himself a sigh as he tried not to wonder too much about how the strange boy, Hamato Leonardo, had come into his acquaintanceship.


	19. Realities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo wakes up again, not sure what to make of the people that had helped he and April.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Halloween!

When Leonardo woke the second time, it was much less traumatic, April sitting beside him. She felt horrible for not having been there when he woke several hours earlier, having literally _just_ stepped out to stretch her legs once the Ancient One insisted that she come with her to collect herbs for Leo’s tea and medicine. After about an hour of being able to breathe and somewhat relax while out in the sun, mindlessly picking leaves and digging up roots, she finally felt calm for the first time since arriving. But the moment she entered back in the room and Usagi mentioned that Leo had woken up to the Ancient One, the human had immediately dropped down beside her friend, looking him over, determined not to leave his side again.

From what she heard Usagi say to the Ancient One, Leo had freaked out and was ready to attack the samurai upon waking. Apparently he’d also broken down, the rabbit believing that the stress of the initial attack coming back to him. Of course Leonardo would have to wake up when she was out, not being there to explain anything properly to him.

Now, however, when he opened his eye, the human made certain she was the first thing he saw. His immediate response was to reach out to her as he sat up. The two Terrans grabbed a hold of each other and hugged fiercely. “You’re okay,” April murmured against his cheek. “They’re okay… _I’m_ okay,” she gave a slight laugh.

When they pulled apart, despite her words, Leo still began checking her over, hands on her shoulders as he searched for evidence of hurt. “You sure? Your face.”

“Just a bruise,” she assured, having forgotten about the massive contusion from Araggon’s attack. “You’re the one with the real injury.”

The turtle frowned, releasing her to touch at the bandaged eye. “I…don’t remember what happened,” he admitted hesitantly.

Taken aback, April stared at the turtle. “Nothing?” she pressed gently.

Obviously trying to recall something, Leo slowly shook his head. “I remember being on the bridge of the ship with the Fugitoid. Alarms were going off. Armaggon attacked,” he stared at April with trepidation. “He attacked, but I don’t…I don’t remember details…”

Not expecting having to explain the torture they’d gone through, as the human stared at the already warn and stressed turtle, she wondered if this might not be a good thing. If Leonardo didn’t remember the details of their fight, perhaps she could spare him the horribleness of the whole truth, the guilt over the unknown fate of Professor Honeycutt. Of _their_ unknown fate. So taking a deep breath, knowing she would have to say something, but determined to omit certain facts, she began.

“Armaggon pinned me, that’s how I got the bruise,” she started carefully, sharp eyes taking in her friend’s every reaction. “My head hit the floor, but a wave of my powers pushed him off, I think. I don’t really know exactly what happened after until the professor grabbed me and brought me to the transporter room.”

“I remember that part,” Leo nodded.

“Okay. So after, Armaggon broke into the transporter room and attacked the professor.” April realized here is where the details became fuzzy as Leonardo frowned in concentration. “You jumped in to stop him. That’s when he pulled a knife and cut your eye before you swung your sword at him. I’m…still not exactly sure what happened, but I think Armaggon messed with the transporter and…well…here we are.”

Dread evident in his tone, the ninja asked the obvious, “Where’s here?”

Locking eyes with the turtle, the human winced. “Japan?”

Leo’s face fell, and everything she wasn’t saying was beginning to become clear to him. Lost in a world not their own, with no real idea of where they were or what would happen to them. “Do you think the professor can find us? Beam us back?”

While hating herself for having to continue to burden him with bad news, April shook her head. “I don’t know, Leo. We…we might be here a while.”

The ninja took a deep breath, releasing it slowly. He was trying not the freak out. With how hormonal he’d been while out in space, April knew he was having a hard time remaining his more level-headed self. Such events were horrible enough to drive even the most zen person crazy, so Leo was actually doing pretty good. At least he wasn’t having a panic attack. She wasn’t sure she could stop herself from crying with him if he fell apart again.

“Okay,” he nodded once he was a little calmer. “Okay, so…so where are we now? I mean, I-I mean, is this Usagi-san’s house, or…?”

“You are awake!”

The sudden exclamation from the doorway caused the two aliens to turn and watch as the Ancient One came shuffling in. Leo startled, but April reached out a put a hand on his shoulder. “A friend,” she whispered to the turtle. Leo didn’t exactly seem thrilled, keeping up his guard, but nodded, trusting her judgement.

“Ah, you have much more color,” the Ancient One declared as she came to a stop beside the pair, plopping down. Pushing April out of her way, the old turtle handed Leonardo a steaming cup. “Drink.”

Taking the offered cup, Leo bowed his head. “Thank you,” he murmured, but did not drink. “What is it?”

Since becoming introduced to the old woman, April had learned quickly that she was a…unique individual. An acquired taste. Perhaps it came from her age, her power, but she was a person that expected a certain level of respect and demanded authority. She was impatient when questioned and defaulted into being demanding. The Ancient One was also not a turtle that like to be crossed and would not accept disobedience. So wincing, wishing she’d had time to warn her friend of the danger that was this old woman, April waited for the snappy reply.

But strangely, perhaps because she had compassion on the younger terrapin, or perhaps because she was in a good mood, she actually answered the question straight without a hint of sass. “Herbal tea. It will help settle your stomach. Good for the eggs.”

The two reptiles held eyes, before Leo finally ducked his head and took a sip of tea. The old turtle nodded approvingly, a slight smirk on her lips. It didn’t take her powers for April to see that Leo’s desire to ensure the children’s safety outweighed his own inclination to remain stubbornness on this issue. For once he was being guided blindly by faith, hoping that the tea was really what the old woman claimed it was and wasn’t poison.

“I have salve for your plastron, also,” the Ancient One handed the younger turtle the clay jar. “It will make your growth less painful.” She used her hands to indicate his growing stomach.

“Thank you,” Leo accepted the jar, a bit of relief flashing in his eyes. But after setting it beside him, he looking back up to the older reptile. “And who are you?”

“I am called the Ancient One,” she smiled, patting his hand affectionately, even as Leo stiffened at the announcement. April knew her friend well enough by now to know that the ninja knew something was up. She hoped it was something good.

“I see,” he bowed his head lower in respect. “I am –”

“I know who you are,” the Ancient One dismissed, before smiling to soften the snappishness of her tone of voice. “Drink! April-san and I will get you food. You must eat.”

The two Terrans shared a look, the ninja reluctant to have the human go, but April gave him another quick hug before standing. “Be back soon,” she whispered in English, even as the Ancient One was already waddling towards the door.

“Come! Come, come, come,” she called to the girl, waving her arm impatiently. “What good are young people if they do not help the elderly?”

April wasn’t too sure if she should be amused or offended, but went to the door. Throwing one last look at Leo before she left, she followed the old woman to the kitchen, frowning when she saw a tremendous amount of food waiting to be peeled and sliced and cooked. This was going to take longer than she’d thought...

**oOoOoOo**

When April was out of the room, Leo waited a few minutes, listening, before pushing back the covers and deciding to check out the room. While he certainly felt better than he had upon arrival, he could feel his head beginning to throb, which sent no small amount of pain to his eye. But he ignored it in favor of learning a little more about where he was exactly, what he was up against.

Even though he knew next to nothing of the Ancient One, the ninja had managed to glean enough. Obviously extremely powerful, she reminded Leonardo of all the old stories Sensei used to tell. Of the myths of ancient teachers that could do the impossible. One of Leo’s favorite bedtime stories when he was a child was an obscure tale of Earth’s own equivalent of the ‘Ancient One.’ Master Splinter used to tell them of a ninja master that stood above them all. A powerful being that lived throughout the ages, teaching only the most worthy of students to become amongst the most powerful ninja in the world.

Donnie had once tried to look up the proper story of ‘the Ancient One’ when he’d been able to figure out tapping into the internet, but had come up with nothing. He believed that their father had made up the story purely to entertain them, and the Ancient One wasn’t a real Japanese myth. Yet Leo had never been too sure, trusting their father. If Sensei said it was a real story from Japan, who was Leo to argue against it?

But being here now, in a strangely Earth-like place, claiming to be Japan, speaking perfect Japanese…well, Leo wasn’t willing to discard anything he’d learned of his father’s culture. There was obviously something about the old turtle he’d seen. There was an energy surrounding her that reminded the ninja of the time when he and his brothers underwent their Spirit Quest when they were fifteen. The power nearly overwhelming, the Ancient One not wholly dissimilar than the deer spirit Leo had encountered. Was this all connected somehow? The spirit realm they’d entered and this place? Could there be a connection? Master Splinter had always claimed that the world, the universe was all linked.

Sighing as the throbbing in his head steadily worsened, the turtle stood on weak legs and began looking the room over. The first thing he checked was if it was somehow reinforced. If he was actually going to be made a prisoner here, he wanted to know his cell. But what he found out quickly was this was an ordinary room. The _shoji_ was actually paper, wooden beams braced them. The wood was so delicate, it wouldn’t be hard to break. And the window, too, was unbarred. If he needed to escape, it would make for an easy getaway.

But other than that, despite the very traditional feel to the area, Leo did spy some well-hidden lighting fixtures. This house had electricity, but he couldn’t seem to find the switch. Or find any outlets. Not that he had need of them, but it was still strange not to find any. Listening, he found he couldn’t hear any humming of machinery, no noise outside either, other than insects and something that sounded almost like birds. There was no traffic, no bustling of people. It was quiet, reminding him of being out at the farm house.

It was unnerving.

Leo was just about ready to see if he couldn’t sneak out to take a quick look around the rest of the house while April and the Ancient One were busy, when he heard the _shoji_ slide open. Turning, he saw Usagi pausing just inside the door. “Hamato-san,” he said by way of greeting and surprise. “What are you doing up? Should you not be resting?”

The rabbit looked a little dirtier than he had the last time Leonardo had seen him, like he’d been working hard outside. From the way he unconsciously whipped his hands at his sides and from the smell of him, Leo would guess that he’d been chopping wood. Perhaps he’d gotten sap on his hands. But snapping his eye up to the rabbit’s face, who was waiting patiently for a reply, Leo offered a small smile. “Just wanted to stretch my legs.” Which was close enough to the truth. “A walk around the room can’t hurt.”

“Are you certain?” the rabbit asked, unsure. He hesitated a moment before walking fully into the room. “Did the Ancient One say you could be up yet?”

Surprised and confused by the concern from the man he’d only just met a nap ago, Leo tried to remain as neutral as possible. “I’m fine,” he insisted. Usagi clearly wasn’t convinced, but after he didn’t say anything else, the turtle asked, “Is there something I can do for you?”

Because he had entered Leo’s room uninvited. And after their introduction, the ninja wasn’t too sure what to make of the rabbit, or what the older man made of him. Last time they’d spoken Leo had been an absolute emotional _wreck_. He’d likely scared the poor guy with his crying and snarling and general bi-polar-ness. It was sort of surprising the man wanted to brave facing the turtle again.

The slightly guilty expression that flashed over the rabbit’s face momentarily had Leo on guard. Unconsciously, his eye went immediately to his sword, which was propped in one corner. “I wanted to see how you were fairing,” Usagi admitted. “You seemed…particularly unwell last I was here.”

Trying not to blush, Leo nodded. “Yes…I am sorry for my behavior.”

“There is no need for an apology,” Usagi’s shoulders relaxed slightly. “You were under great distress.”

The two fell silent, Leonardo not sure what else to say to that, and honestly found himself more uncomfortable around the rabbit than the old turtle. Maybe it was because he had no clear sense of who Usagi was. Maybe it was just because Leo was a distrustful prick. Mikey always did tell him he had to learn to let go of his need to control everything. Thinking of his youngest brother sent a stab at Leo’s heart. He wished Mikey was here…

“Please,” the rabbit said, bringing the turtle’s attention back to him. “Let me help you to sit back down.”

Eyeing the other man, it was difficult for Leo to understand what his angle was. A complete stranger, it was sort of weird to see such concern. Maybe it was just his pessimistic New York City mentality, being a mutant, not trusting anyone based on their nice words on the surface. Maybe it was his own personal paranoia at work. But from what he had seen, from what he could read in the other across from him, Leo decided to play along for now. For reasons he had yet to truly understand, Usagi appeared to be treating him like some sort of fragile… _thing_. Probably because he was gravid – his age might have something to do with it too – but as the rabbit came over and took him by the elbow to ‘help him’ to the futon, the turtle realized he could gain the upper hand here. While still truly healing, still not one hundred percent, he was far from an invalid. He’d fought when he’d felt worse than this. If Usagi ended up being some sort of villain, he sure as hell would be in for some sort of surprise when Leo stepped up to bat.

Smiling up at the other man as he was guided down, Leo nodded. “Thank you, Miyamoto-san,” he bowed his head.

The rabbit was already nodding, kneeling down beside him. “You are welcome, Hamato-san. Do you need anything? Should I get April-san?”

Yes, Leonardo realized in that moment that he had a very great power over this man, because Usagi believed him to be weak. While usually focused more in the training of kunoichi, a ninja was also taught to manipulate, to take any and all advantages presented to them. And while a little embarrassing, Leo knew he could play the weak, innocent gravid person card here. For the first time in his life, he knew he could take advantage of men the same way women could. He’d seen Miwa at work millions of times, been on the receiving end of her manipulation in their early relations. He knew how to play the game.

Plan firmly in place, the only thing keeping the turtle from feeling any guilt in taking advantage of the other man was his uncertainty as to what was going on. He would wait before letting down his guard a bit. When April finally came back in with a tray, she smiled. Momentarily she eyed Usagi, before ignoring him in favor of coming closer to the futon. For her he would play victim, Leonardo decided. For her and his children, he would misguide these people into believing him weak and helpless. And if it turned out Usagi-san or the Ancient One were not sincere in their attempts to help, Leonardo would be ready.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're setting up things here, but action and babies are on the horizon!


	20. Insight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo's finally able to leave his room, and learns some interesting things about the strangers they're living with.

Several days after waking up found Leo _finally_ able to leave his room, the Ancient One deeming him well enough to be off bedrest. For the last two days, the old turtle had been a virtual Nazi patrolling Leonardo’s movements and insuring that he ate and drank his medicated tea at regulated times. While on some level the ninja supposed he should be grateful to her for looking out for him, ensuring his wellbeing…it was still exasperating.

But the turtle supposed he should count himself lucky on the charge that he hadn’t essentially become a slave in the old woman’s house. Not really. April, poor girl, was the one forced into work cooking, gardening, and cleaning the house. Usagi, on the other hand, was given the chores outside, chopping wood, hunting, butchering, and even just expected to maintain the house from the outside. It almost begged the question how the old woman had lived alone so long without anyone else their to do the chores she could not. Or perhaps this was what she did, housed strangers in exchange for services?

Either way, now that Leo no longer had to sit in that tiny little bedroom on the futon with only the window for entertainment, he was determined to do his fair share of the work. Although, when he had believed no one would come in during his bedrest, he did take up his sword and played with it as a distraction. The Ancient One had only caught him with it once, but did nothing more than scold him briefly. It had looked like she might smack him with the flat of the blade, just like Sensei used to when he wasn’t paying attention, but she didn’t. Leo wasn’t sure if it was because of his condition and wound, or if she simply didn’t want to do it that time. She certainly didn’t strike him as the pacifist type.

Now, however, taking his first steps outside of the room since coming here, the Ancient One guiding him along, arm looped with his, the ninja drank in every detail he could. He still felt a bit disoriented without the use of one eye, but he’d had enough practice the last couple of days to ignore the headaches and stay focused. It was slow going more due to the Ancient One’s tiny shuffles than because Leo couldn’t walk, but he kept his mouth shut and allowed the old woman to lead him into what might have passed as a more western-style living room.

Sitting down on a low couch-like seat, Leo stared around the room curiously. There were shelves crammed full of knickknacks and old odds and ends. There were books, glass vases, a _kabuto,_ and what might have been records. She kept various plants around the area – succulents and herbs – and decorated the area with wood carvings, tapestries, painted _shoji,_ but most impressive of all, a portrait of a fierce looking samurai in black armor.

“Here,” the Ancient One deposited the younger _kame_ down on the couch, before handing a cup of tea that had been set at the low table. “Do you like music?”

Blinking up at the old woman, Leo nodded absentmindedly, eye drawn to the portrait. “ _Hai_.”

Shuffling to the corner, the ninja realized there was what looked to be a record player. Setting a record on and starting it, soon enough the room was filled with traditional Japanese music. Feeling himself relax, Leo smiled at the old woman as she toddled out of the room. “I will be back,” she called over her shoulder.

Left to himself, taking in the new view, Leo almost felt like laughing. Because this was a dream. In a place that was almost identical to how he’d pictured Old Japan – with a few more minor ‘modern’ conveniences – surrounded by beings that looked like him, now staring at him like he was just a mutant freak.

 _Mikey would lose his mind. Donnie, too,_ he thought, another sad pang hitting his heart. If only they were here, seeing the things he was seeing, experiencing some of what he was experiencing. He was such an idiot for leaving them behind. Such a moron for not telling them anything before he left.

And Raph…

“Raph,” Leo murmured with a sigh.

A sudden clatter from off to the side had Leo snapping back to reality, and he found Usagi standing in the doorway, coming in from the garden with wood in his arms. The rabbit’s eyes were wide, as he looked around, ears twitching every which way. His face was screwed up in confusion, so weirded out as he stood there with the firewood slipping from his arms, one piece having gotten away from him, now rolling away on the floor. Leo found he couldn’t let the man continue to freak out over whatever he was currently freaking out about.

“Miyamoto-san?” he called quietly, startling the rabbit to turn and stare at him. “Are you…all right?”

“Where…?” the other man continued to walk into the room, setting the wood down near the door. Apparently seeing Leo there calmed him somewhat. “Where is that music coming from?”

Not quite sure if the music itself creeped him out or if the song had any specific meaning for him, Leo jerked his head over to the corner. “From the record player.

The rabbit’s frown was severe as he eyed the turtle almost distrustfully. “Record player?”

“Ah! You finish already?”

The Ancient One came barging into the room with April trailing behind, the redhead frazzled with something smudged on her cheek. The moment she saw Leo, she shot him a look that told him everything he needed to know. Schooling his features, he scooted over for her to sit beside him. They’d definitely be talking later.

“I have brought refreshments for you,” the old turtle continued, swatting at Usagi as he remained rooted by the door. “Come, come, come.”

In an almost surreal moment of fellowship, the four occupants of the house sat together drinking tea, the Ancient One pushing food at Leo. She kept reminding him about the ‘many little mouths’ he had to feed, which might have embarrassed him before, but he honestly couldn’t muster the energy right now. Besides, he knew he had to keep eating. That’s basically all he did now. But trying to look at it from the angle of being his duty and obligation as a parent, he just shoved another rice cake in his mouth and chewed without complaint. At least he wasn’t stuck in that tiny room alone anymore.

They were saved from the awkwardness of the silence filled only with music, when Usagi turned towards Leonardo. “What is ‘record player’?”

A creeping suspicious suddenly stole over the turtle, eyes sharpening but he managed to keep his expression light. “That,” he nodded towards the corner once more.

“That makes music?” the rabbit asked, obviously in deep concentration as he stood and walked over to the inconspicuous box sitting on a shelf with the same intent as Donatello trying to learn more about alien tech.

“Essentially,” Leo shrugged, not quite sure if the rabbit would understand the differences between the machine making the music itself and simply playing a recording of music.

“Truly?” Usagi looked back at the others with an excited gleam in his eyes. “I do not see any instruments.”

“ _He doesn’t know what that is_ ,” April murmured quietly in English, surprised.

This was getting pretty confusing. As Usagi continued to examine the record player, still completely amazed, Leonardo began to get the feeling that he was missing something. Thus far from the lack of technology Leo had seen, and from April told him about the rest of the house, the Terran had wondered if the Ancient One was some kind of hermit living by herself, having forsaken the busy world beyond in pursuit of a simpler, quieter existence. It certainly fit the narrative he’d been constructing. But closing his eyes, really listening to the world beyond, the ninja found he couldn’t hear anything save natural sounds. Thus far he had not heard any random planes flying overhead, no cars, no nothing. Either the old woman lived very deep in an unsettled area or – more disturbingly – there _were_ no machines to be heard. After all, Usagi hadn’t appeared particularly disturbed by the rather simplistic living arrangements before. Did that mean he wasn’t used to more modern technology at all?

“How does this work?” the rabbit asked, hand poised to tap the spinning record.

“Don’t touch that!” the Ancient One finally stood as well, waddling over to the mammal and shooing him away. “You will break it!”

“Forgive me,” Usagi immediately bowed low. “I do not wish to damage anything.”

Black eyes glittering with amusement even as she held her scowl, the Ancient One snorted. “See that you do not, Samurai.”

Samurai? Blue eyes studing the other man in a new light, Leo hummed quietly to himself as he took a sip of tea. Now that was some interesting news. He’d known there was something about the other man, sensing control and power in his stance and manner, but the turtle had either been too ill or too distracted to have truly note of the regal bearing. Of course Usagi was trained, Leo could see it now in every line of his body. The way he held himself, the strict mode in which he conducted himself, his honor. A true knight in shining armor, no wonder he’d selflessly saved a damsel in distress along with said damsel’s monster.

As Usagi was herded back towards the table, Leo offered the rabbit a pleasant smile. “You are a samurai, Miyamoto-san?” he asked innocently, ensuring that his posture was loose and gentle. He even placed a hand on his rounded stomach for good measure.

Apparently April knew what he was doing, in part, as she too made certain she was as least threatening as possible. Not wishing to appear particularly interested, she turned to stare out towards the gardens as she settled into the couch.

Once reseated, the rabbit regarded the turtle a moment and offered a small smile of his own. “ _Hai_. I am a _ronin_ for the Shogun.”

“Really?” Leaning forward slightly, the young _kame_ wondered how eager he should appear without it looking suspicious. “The Shogun?”

“Yes,” the samurai appeared pleased with the slightly more than polite interest. “I was on a mission for him before…before finding you and April-san in the woods.”

Ah. So that explained the rabbit’s own wandering around in the dead of night. “What kind of mission?” Leo asked before thinking better of it, throwing in a rather shy smile as a distraction. Hopefully the samurai would believe him to be some stupid, ignorant kid. “Forgive me, I’ve never met a samurai before.” Which was true, but hardly the reason for his current curiosity.

Apparently loving the attention, Usagi, while taking on a bit more of a guarded expression, seemed more than willing to cooperate with the line of questions. After all, he was only in the company of a crazy old woman, a _yokai,_ and a gravid boy. What had he to fear? And honestly, it wasn’t like Leo could do anything with this information. More than likely, this was some kind of political mission that neither Terrans knew anything about and would forget about soon enough. Their main concerns were not the matters of the state, but rather how to live on the alien planet without being found out.

“Simply to deliver a message,” the rabbit replied dismissively. “Nothing of grave importance. You have nothing to fear.”

There was something in the tone that made Leo believe that maybe Usagi wasn’t so sure about the standing of importance on this mission. April had told him that the samurai appeared anxious sometimes, and had overheard him talking to the Ancient One about leaving. Eventually the _ronin_ would go, return to his shogun, continue his life after the unexpected, strange adventure.

But why should there be a shogun, Leo wondered. Shoguns meant war in ancient times, someone appointed as complete overseer of the army. In many ways, even an emperor would have to bow to the will of a shogun if the matter was desperate enough. Or perhaps the title of shogun was simply symbolic or watered down on this planet and time?

“I hope we’re not detaining you from your mission,” the young turtle replied, adding just the right amount of sincerity to his voice.

“Nothing that cannot be delayed,” the Ancient One reinserted herself into the conversation, waving the Terran off, much to Usagi’s irritation. “The sooner you return, the sooner you will be sitting around tables with old men, thinking yourselves clever as you plot ways to destroy others.”

While both Terrans absorbed the rather frightening piece of information, Usagi scowled. “If we do not defeat Lord Hebi, _he_ is the one that will destroy others.”

“And yet the road you seek is not bloodless.”

“There are justifications for war,” the samurai pressed sternly. “I know and accept the consequences of war. I refuse to sit by and allow Lord Hebi to continue his reign of terror in the world.”

“Strange,” the old woman took a sip of her tea, not bothering to look at the rabbit. “I remember a time when everyone sang the praise of Hebi. When his message was much more palatable to delicate constitutions.”

“Men can be corrupted,” the samurai sniffed in offense. “Or hide evil intentions. Just because he has done some good in his life does not mean he was not equally capable of doing very evil things.”

“Just because it appears a man commits evil does not make it so,” the Ancient One challenged right back.

The back and forth on philosophy was not something Leonardo had expected once getting out of bed. But judging from April’s confused frown, he knew this must not be a normal occurrence between the other two. It was clear, however, that there was something more going on than Leo could hope to understand at the time being. The tension was building between the pair. Usagi was becoming angry and offended, perhaps on the behalf of his people, while the Ancient One was merely dabbling in the realm of critical thinking and debate. Call it a hunch, but Leo got the feeling that the old turtle wasn’t as invested in any one side here. From the gleam in her black eyes, it made him wonder if she was not simply arguing for argument’s sake.

Catching him staring, the grin that suddenly stretched across the Ancient One’s thin lips bespoke of nothing good as she drug him into the debate. “Leonardo-san. What do _you_ think?”

“Me?” the young _kame_ blurted, genuinely surprised and dismayed to be asked since this was clearly a heated topic. Upon his exclamation, however, some of the anger in Usagi’s posture slipped away, as he apparently realized how worked up he was getting, how uncomfortable he was making the others with his passion. “I’m afraid I’m not very well educated on this matter.”

The Ancient One snorted derisively. “We are not asking your specific impute on the outcomes of resent battles, child. You may still have an overarching opinion.”

“All the same,” Leo attempted to bow out as gracefully as possible.

“ _Aiya_. You would make a good politician,” she muttered distastefully, before standing abruptly. Taking the younger turtle by the arm, she forced Leo up. “Come. You must walk now. You must exercise or you will get _fat_.”

Snorting, deciding not to get into the fact that he already _was_ fat as he was given the opportunity to get out of this debate, Leonardo stood and allowed the old woman to guide him out the door and into the gardens. April also jumped up, following the turtles. It was the first time the ninja had been outside since arriving, and almost instantly he felt a sense of relief at not being confined to the house, taking in a deep breath.

“You must have fresh air,” the Ancient One broke into his quiet thoughts. “Your little ones must have good air.”

Rubbing his stomach, Leo turned to stare down at the little old woman quizzically. “How did you know I was gravid with more than one egg? Did I say something to you earlier? Did April?” It had been a question that nagged him for days, and since the turtle seemed fond of throwing people for a loop, Leo thought he’d take a stab at it.

Reaching out to pat the beginnings of his rounding plastron, not at all bothered by the sudden question, the old woman smiled softly. “No,” she denied. “Their presence is strong. They are strong.”

An unexpected surge of pride swelled through the ninja at the praise, and he was unable to help the smile that stretched across his lips. “I hope so,” he murmured lovingly.

“They are,” the Ancient One waved off the concern. “Now, you and April-san walk,” she handed him over to the human. “I have more important things to do.”

April rolled her eyes as she linked arms with her friend. Together they watched the old woman toddle back to the house. “Well she certainly doesn’t beat around the bush,” the human shook her head in amusement.

“No she does not.”

“I’m glad she is gone, though,” April admitted as they continued forward. “It’s hard sitting there and not being able to talk.”

“I’m sorry about that.” Leo squeezed her hand with his.

April let her head fall on his shoulder as they continued to stroll through the well-manicured gardens. “Not your fault. Just means I really have to start learning Japanese. No more short cuts for me,” she laughed.

“Want to practice now?” he asked. “I mean, it’s not like we don’t have the time.”

Nodding, red hair falling into her face, April blew the strand away. “Let’s do this.”

Together the friends found a nice place to sit under a large tree near a koi pond – the creatures swimming in lazy circles did not truly look like koi on Earth – and began their lessons. But despite enjoying the time spent with his friend, Leo tried not to let all of his worries and anxieties devour him. The questions of how they were going to get out of here, how they were going to contact the Fugitoid, how he was going to explain himself to their family, it could all wait until later. Right now he would enjoy the sunshine and April’s company.


	21. Training

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Usagi learns a little more from Leonardo, while Leo begins more training.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Saturday!

Leonardo-san was an interesting, inquisitive soul. From the very beginning Usagi knew that the boy was different. And not simply because of his current… _unique_ state. Anyone who managed to befriend a _yokai_ obviously had to be special. There was just something about the boy that told the samurai he was someone to watch, to know. Something told him that there was more to this young man than what met the eye.

Usagi had never met someone as eager to listen to his stories or ask so many intelligent questions. It made the samurai wonder how sheltered the child had been that he appeared to know so little about the war, about Lord Hebi’s attacks, and Lord Noriyuki’s counter strikes. But the rabbit was more than willing to educate the boy, pleased to find Leonardo-san had a quick, logical mind. Actually, despite knowing so little about the wide world, Leonardo-san had given some interesting insight and ideas to the samurai that he hadn’t yet considered about the war. Like he was doing now.

“Why don’t you use a spy?” Leonardo-san asked as they walked together through the garden arm in arm.

Smiling patiently at the boy, Usagi shook his head. “That would require a lot of maneuvering and resources. And it would take too much time to cultivate a relationship with anyone within the _daimyo’s_ forces that is worthwhile. We simply do not have the time.”

The turtle turned to stare at him with a rather unimpressed frown, and for a split second, Usagi got the uncomfortable feeling that he’d missed something. He would hate to look like a fool in front of anyone, but it felt especially embarrassing in front of this turtle, especially with him being so young. “I don’t mean train someone special or put a soldier into the enemy’s lair,” the boy stopped walking, facing the rabbit fully. “Don’t you have other informants? Someone whom you can trust that would not be immediately discovered?”

“We have tried,” the rabbit shook his head, reminding himself that to Leonardo-san, the world probably appeared much simpler than it truly was. “But the men we have sent have not returned.” At least not whole, but the boy didn’t need to know all the gory details.

“You have no one?” the turtle pressed, doubt flitting across his features. “You know of no one that might move in…less polite circles of society? Someone you can trust, but can also pass for being a supporter of Lord Hebi? Someone that perhaps appears sympathetic to both sides?”

Staring at the boy, blinking several times, an idea struck Usagi like a rude slap to the face. “Gennosuke-san.”

“Hmm?”

Coming back to himself, completely amazed, Usagi shook his head incredulously as memory of the rhino flooded his mind. “Murakami Gennosuke. He is a… an acquaintance of mine. I have not talked to him in many months.” At least a year, if his mental calculations were correct. Once the war had begun, all of Usagi’s time and attention had been captured and kept with orders to defend the Emperor, protect his true heir, and working for the Shogun. Had he truly been so absorbed in the war and his duties that he’d forgotten to use his brain? Unable to remember people who could help them?

Thinking back to the bounty hunter that had taught him much in his younger years, the ronin wondered if he could still claim to call the other man ‘friend.’ It had been so long since Usagi had heard anything about the rhino, it begged the question what the fortune-seeker was up to, and if he might be willing to help – for the right price, of course. Grinning self-depreciatingly, the samurai reached out and squeezed the turtle’s shoulder as he continued to explain. “He may very well be the sort of ‘friend’ you are suggesting.”

Smiling back, Leonardo-san turned so that they could continue walking. “Well I’m glad you thought of someone.”

Linking arms again, very aware of the Ancient One’s instructions for the boy not to overexert himself, the samurai took a moment to think more on Leonardo-san’s idea. About how simple it was, but also how neither he nor the Shogun had thought about using someone like Gennosuke-san. Or at least not seriously. Especially not since every attempt to plant spies had turned out bloody, making the situation almost worse than before. But to use someone like Gen-san, who notoriously plays both sides, pitting them against one another, to be _known_ to be more interested in profiting than taking a stand for any real cause…

Why hadn’t he thought of Gen-san before? It was so clear to him now. Had Lord Hebi truly caught them all so unawares, so unprepared that they couldn’t even use their reason?

“You are quite insightful for one who knows little of war,” Usagi commented, trying to puzzle the young man out.

It was nice to hear a laugh come from the boy. Too often the samurai saw nothing save sorrow and worry on the child’s features. He was too young to carry the burden of the world upon his shoulders just yet. “Thank you,” Leonardo-san flashed a grin, amusement laced in his tone as blue eyes sparkled in the sunlight. “But I’ll have you know that just because someone is ignorant in certain areas doesn’t mean they can’t have some interesting or correct ideas about it.”

“You speak from experience,” Usagi directed them to a bench near the koi pond. “Please forgive me, but may I ask how you have been able to obtain such a sharp mind? You speak with authority and wisdom that surpasses your years.”

The easy smile slowly began to melt away as the turtle turned his eyes to the water. His lips remained upturned, but the samurai knew it was merely for politeness’s sake. There was no true joy in it anymore. “I’ve had good teaches growing up, I suppose,” he replied after a few quiet moments.

Again, curiosity raged through the rabbit, but he knew he had to be delicate. Press too much and the boy would shut down and would never be willing to speak. “They must have been very wise,” he complimented carefully. “I am certain they must be proud of such a student.”

Another laugh escaped the boy, but this time it was flat. “They were.”

Frowning, it wasn’t difficult for Usagi to guess what that meant. Unable to help himself, hoping Leonardo-san would not be too distressed, would understand he was merely asking out of concern, the samurai pressed, “‘Were’? They are not any longer?”

Leonardo-san shook his head slowly, eyes still trained on the water. “Honestly, I don’t know. I left before…”

“Before they discovered your condition.”

When the boy looked up, his watery eyes were glassy. Stiffening, readjusting himself on the bench, the turtle forced a smile before gazing up to the sunny blue sky. “It’s such a nice day,” he commented, pushing himself up. His growing belly showed that it was a bit more difficult than it had been in the past. “Maybe we can walk a little farther today?”

Knowing that he should not push anymore, Usagi obliged and began walking with the boy. A little more information had been gained, but he would not force the turtle to speak. Perhaps one day Leonardo-san would willingly confined in him more.

But determined to lighten the mood, wanting to bring back the real smiles and contentment, Usagi wracked his brain to think of something to say. “Do you know how far along you are?” he asked, wincing only slightly as he realized perhaps the pregnancy was not as joyful of a subject as it normally was for others in such condition.

Thankfully Leonardo-san was not offended, and his features did soften as he stared down at his slightly bulging stomach. If Usagi had to guess, he’d believe that the boy had to be perhaps halfway along. But then again, he didn’t know much about pregnancies, and certainly not for reptiles.

“We’re pretty sure I’m over two months, going on three,” the boy replied, hand automatically going to rub his belly.

Since he did not appear distressed to speak on this topic, Usagi continued as they walked along the border of the woods. “Forgive my ignorance, but I know little of reptiles in such matters. How long is gestation?”

A chuckle escaped the boy as he turned a wry expression to the rabbit. “I didn’t know much either before coming here,” he admitted embarrassedly. “But the Ancient One says it’s about a seven month process, so I suppose I still have some time to go.”

Nodding, absorbing the information, Usagi tried not to stare at the boy’s stomach. Leonardo-san certainly looked more than two months along for one egg, but if he’d heard correctly before…Would it be impolite to ask? Battling with himself a moment longer, still wondering how insulting this could be construed if untrue, eventually the rabbit decided to risk it. Leonardo-san was a reasonable young man, after all, surely he would not take offense for Usagi merely wanting dispel doubts?

“May I ask…I mean, the Ancient One speaks as if you carry more than one egg…Are you?”

His hesitation and careful creeping around clearly did nothing but shame him. The rabbit watched as Leonardo-san eyed him in amusement and felt his face heat up in humiliation. Obviously the boy knew what Usagi was trying to do – or not do. It was in moments such as these that the samurai wished he were blessed with a silver tongue, or at least knew how to maneuver in these social situations.

Leonardo-san, thankfully, took pity on the bumbling ronin and answered simply, “I’m expecting three.”

That was a rather surprising number. Usagi had heard of people having twins, but triplets? Certainly this was a blessing by the gods. Or perhaps this was the mischief of _yokai_? That made sense as how often did a young man become pregnant anyway? This was all some kind of sign, or trick by the powers that be, Usagi was certain, and he truly hoped all turned out well for this boy. “My congratulations,” he replied feeling only slightly awkward as he attempted to save face.

Struggling to hide his amusement, Leonardo-san bowed his head slightly. “Thank you.”

They continued their stroll quietly, simply enjoying the summer day, when they heard the Ancient One calling out to them. As they wandered back towards the house, the old woman grabbed the boy by the arm and dragged him away. “What are we doing?” Leonardo-san asked, even as April-san came to see what all the commotion was about.

“Time to check your eye.”

Deciding to leave them in peace, certain the boy did not want to be crowded for such a thing, the rabbit decided to go back outside. As he wandered in the sunshine, his mind went back to formulating plans to find and get in contact with Gen-san.

**oOoOoOo**

Sitting down in the ‘living room’, Leo waited patiently on the Ancient One to work on his eye. It would need to be cleaned and the salve reapplied. He had yet to see the extent of the damage of the slash wound and was becoming anxious to know for himself how bad it was. Each time the old woman looked it over, she would slap his hands away or ignore his fearful questions about if his eye was all right. The most he’d gotten out of her was that it was ‘healing’. Whether that meant he even still _had_ an eye had yet to be made clear.

Which scared him. While the turtle believed he should have been in much more pain if he’d lost it, considering how much agony he’d been in with his stomach and how worried he’d been about the children when he first landed, it wasn’t beyond reason that he simply didn’t register the full extent of damage done to his eye. He didn’t trust his feelings. He’d been messed up since arriving and didn’t feel as though he had a good grasp on himself to judge.

This time, however, as the gauze was taken away, Leo sat still and didn’t speak. The Ancient One looked him over, humming as she usually did, but instead of yelling at him to keep his eye closed, she directed the opposite. “Open!”

Hesitating for reasons he wasn’t even sure why, the younger _kame_ was cautious as he opened his eye for the first time since landing on the planet. It was blurry, images fuzzy, but he was relieved when things started to come back into focus. His eye was _saved_!

“Can you see?” the other turtle demanded.

“Yes,” Leo didn’t bother to hide the relief in his voice. “But the images are a bit fuzzy.”

“They will become clearer in time, but you tell me if they do not,” she commanded simply, before taking up a cloth to dab ointment around the still healing wound. “This will scar,” she informed him rather unnecessarily. “I do not believe it will ever truly fade.”

“As long as I still have my eye,” Leo shrugged. What was another scar? He had plenty of them, one more wouldn’t hurt.

The old woman grunted, but went back to getting right up into his face to check over the wound. “Allowing it to air now will be good. Do not pick at it!”

Leo snorted. Did she think he was five? But then again, thinking about Mikey and his habit of picking scabs, the ninja decided it was better to warn someone rather than to not say anything at all. Better to err on the side of caution.

Sitting through the rest of the checkup, knowing it would lead into an examination of the triplets, Leo leaned back to let the old woman do as she wanted. Looking around the room, trying to gauge how clearly he could see, eventually his eyes were drawn to the portrait on the wall. He frowned at the armored figure. “Who is that?”

The old turtle didn’t spare a glance for the picture as she began running her hands over the baby bump with practiced ease. “That is the Black Warrior.”

The Black Warrior. Leonardo couldn’t help the fond smile that came to his lips as he was reminded yet again of childhood stories woven together by Sensei years ago. But frowning as the old woman began pressing a little too hard on his plastron, a thought struck the turtle. “Do you have portraits of the other three warriors?”

Finally looking him in the eye, the old woman smiled widely. “Ah, you know of the Four Guardians?”

“I…don’t remember much,” he admitted, trying his hardest to remember the old fairytales he hadn’t heard in years. “Just that there were four warriors and they watched over the seasons or…something.”

“ _Hai_. The Blue, Red, White, and Black Warriors. They were linked to the spring, summer, autumn, and winter.”

Peeking back over at the intimidating samurai in the portrait, Leo raised an eye ridge. “So do you have the others portraits?”

“Of course,” the Ancient One sniffed. “The Black Warrior faces north, the Blue east, Red south, and White west.”

Yes, Leo remembered something about the Four having something to do with direction also. It was a Chinese story originally, one that had been translated and adapted into Japanese culture, he thought he remembered. One of those stories that was almost older than time itself. It was frustrating. Leo wished he could remember more, or at least that Donnie was here to remember for him.

Thinking of his family had the young turtle’s mood souring. He missed them, Donnie, Mikey, Miwa, Sensei, and even Casey. He missed them enough that in his weaker, darker moments when he was alone, he cried, unable to help himself as he thought of everything he’d done, how he hadn’t told them what was happening, how he would probably never see them again. And he cried for Raph, too. Usually it was at night when Leonardo thought of his immediate younger brother most, wondering if he was all right, if he was happy now, what he would think if he knew Leo was gravid. The nightmares still came half the time, and the other times it was getting harder for Leo to sleep, simply having too much on his mind.

Staring up at the ceiling, hoping he could keep his hormones in check long enough to make it through this checkup without bursting into tears, the young turtle was startled from his black thoughts by a sudden, sharp _thwap!_ to the top of the head. “Ouch!” he cried more in surprise than actual pain. Finding the Ancient One hovering over him with her cane in one hand, the ninja felt himself pull away from the old woman. “What was that for?” he demanded, gingerly lifting a hand to touch where he’d been hit. There’d probably be a lump there soon.

“Stop feeling sorry for yourself!” she snapped.

“I wasn’t feeling sorry for myself,” Leo scowled, keeping an eye on the cane, just in case it came back into play.

“Yes you were,” the Ancient One sneered. “Pining for Raphael-san will not bring him back to you.”

“I wasn’t…” but Leonardo trailed off as he stared at the old woman. “I never told you about Raph,” he murmured suspiciously. “How did you –?”

“Pining for him pathetically will get you nowhere,” the old woman sniffed, ignoring his stunned question. “You are much stronger, more resilient than you know, Leonardo-san. You do yourself and everyone around you a disservice by languishing in your misery.”

A spike of fury flared through the ninja’s chest as he glared at the old woman. He wanted to scream, rage at her callous words. What did she know? She knew _nothing_ about Leonardo, not about what he’d been through, not even about who he was! What gave her the right to speak to him like this, to actually _hit_ him?

But as he scowled up at the old, weathered face, stared into the black eyes above him, the fight slowly began to drain from the younger turtle, replaced by a cold dread that seeped into his bones. “How?” he found himself croaking, the tears he’d been fighting off all day burning in his eyes. “How do I stop?” he begged.

Because he wanted to. He wanted so badly to stop pining for Raphael, to move on and live again. He hated himself for feeling so weak and pathetic and emotional whenever he thought of his brother. It would be much simpler if the hurt he felt was physical. At least then he could see the progress of its healing, and while he might always bare a scar, would always remember it, at least it couldn’t hurt him anymore. At least then he could learn to live with it and ignore its presence.

Compassion masked over the frustration and anger on the old woman’s face as she sat down beside the younger reptile. Pulling him in for a hug, Leo was too tired to be embarrassed at how easily he caved to the affection, sagging forward into the woman’s arms. “There is much more to you than you know, Leo-chan,” she whispered, stroking the back of his head as he lay limp in her arms. “You are strong, stronger than most.”

The words were flattering, but the younger turtle couldn’t help but snort. Look how strong he was, a sobbing mess all of the damn time. Yeah, some heroic ninja warrior he was.

But realizing he was beating himself up again, remembering the depression he’d suffered in the past after the Kraang Invasion, Leo decided he didn’t want to play the victim anymore. He had to pick himself up again, had to look on the brighter side of life instead of allow himself to be swallowed up by the darkness. April had been a tremendous help so far, he couldn’t let her efforts go to waste.

When he finally moved out of the embrace, the Ancient One was watching him, dark eyes shining. “Come with me,” she stood, holding out her hand to him.

Taking it, surprised by the amount of strength displayed as she pulled him up, Leo walked with the old woman to a room he had yet to see, the one he’d come to suspect was her own. “What are we doing?” he asked, whipping at his eyes, dashing away the stray tears still there.

“We are going to meditate,” she informed him crisply. “It is time to resume your training.”


	22. Parting Ways

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo continues to work on meditation, and may have found a way to call for help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Thanksgiving to all my American friends out there!  
> Happy Regular Day in which You Can Still be Thankful to all my other friends out there!

Leonardo sighed as he sat back, leaning on his hands, as he came out of meditation. Ever since the Ancient One decided to take him under her wing, deciding to further his training, he’d spent quite a few hours sitting outside under the cherry blossom trees by the koi pond in an attempt to gain the wisdom of the universe. It was helping his anxieties a little, despite the frustrations of grasping the concepts, but it was helping. It was getting easier to feel the triplets move too, even with the rubbery shells forming around them. If he was calm enough, centered, he could just sense these weird little flutters, the barest hint of movement, like butterfly wings grazing across his stomach. It was an incredible, slightly disconcerting, sensation. Certainly it was something he’d never thought he’d get to experience.

But even as he became sensitive to the happenings of his body, slowly learning to detect every subtle change, he had yet to make it to the next step in meditation. He was still locked to the earth, to his own body. The universe as a whole was still out of his reach, a mystery yet to be discovered. The fact that he sometimes felt so close, only to fail, left him grumpy – to say the least.

The Ancient One was a good teacher, Leo had to admit, even if she was demanding. The old woman often walked him through the meditative steps before leaving him to work on his mental connection himself. There was no doubt in the younger turtle’s mind that the old woman had done this sort of thing before, had taught such techniques. Whereas Splinter sometimes struggled to give voice to the experiences felt in such deep meditation, could not quite put into words what exactly needed to be done, the Ancient One never faltered in her instructions. She knew just what to say and when to say it, how to guide him when he was struggling most. It was actually humbling, being taught by someone that surpassed even his father.

Yet there were still barriers stopping him from grasping what he needed to be considered a true master. Barriers that Leo was beginning to think he knew how to get rid of, but was unwilling to do so. Not yet, anyway. Because he believed that those walls he’d constructed mentally around himself were the only things keeping him together.

Sighing again, the ninja pushed himself up off the ground, moving a lot slower so as not to topple over in his attempt to stand. Three months. He was three months along more than likely, and he felt like a land whale. He was getting a lot clumsier, too. He could be standing still and suddenly just sort of topple over. The Ancient One laughed it off, said it was all part of being gravid, but it was still embarrassing and frustrating. As a ninja, Leonardo had worked very long and very hard to perfect his balance and coordination. Having his center suddenly shift for what felt like no good reason was aggravating.

He needed something to do – other than meditate uselessly when he knew he wasn’t going to make any breakthroughs. Deciding to do a few katas to help with his balance issues, on a whim, Leo went inside to fetch his katana. He missed holding it, missed the comforting weight in his hands. While he knew that April would skin him alive if he over exerted himself, and the Ancient One would likely be the one handing the human the knives to do it, he decided to risk a bit of exercise. It was getting old being treated like glass. And he still had about four months of this nonsense to go! He shuddered at the thought of everyone’s hovering.

But for now he would sneak in some light training. Needing something to _do_. April was being kept busy by the Ancient One at the moment, anyway. Apparently the old turtle was in the teaching mood and decided to help the human with her Japanese. From the frazzled glares shot his way from time to time, Leo could only assume that lessons were going _super_ good!

Once back out in the garden with his beloved katana in hand, briefly, the ninja wondered what happened to its twin. He knew he’d likely dropped it while still on the Fugitoid’s ship, but he couldn’t help wish he still had it. It felt weird not having both in hand, like he was missing an arm. But crouching down into position, going slowly through the very basics, he attempted to turn his mind off for a little while. Muscles tensed and worked from memory as he closed his eyes and let his body take control.

As he very slowly moved from one position to the next, he couldn’t help but smile slightly as he thought of his younger years training with his brothers. It drove Raph absolutely _nuts_ when Leo moved deliberately like this. Impatient, reckless, it never occurred to the hothead that sometimes it was okay to slow down, that not everything had to be about showing off. A hum escaped the turtle as he recalled some of the fights they’d gotten into simply because he’d set off this particular pet peeve of his younger brother’s.

“So impatient,” he murmured, not sure if he was talking to himself or to the kids. Frowning slightly, it occurred to Leo for the first time that these kids were likely going to inherit some of his _and_ Raphael’s traits, their temperaments. _PLEASE let them have my patience,_ he thought desperately, not sure if he was teasing or was seriously terrified if the kids took after Raph. Because a pack of tiny Raphael’s, all big tempers and sensitive towards criticism would be exhausting, and would likely drive him insane.

“Leonardo-san?”

Peeking open an eye, the turtle was pulled from his musing to find Usagi watching him. In his haste to sneak in some _katas_ he’d forgotten about the samurai. And also the fact that he’d been leading the rabbit on into believing he was some useless weakling. As he came out of his pose, turning towards the other with a slight smile, he decided he trusted Usagi enough with the knowledge that he at least knew how to hold a sword. The ronin had proven to be trustworthy and faithful in everything he’d said and done thus far. And the fact that he treated both April and himself with such respect and politeness considering that they were freaks made it hard to dislike the guy.

But as the ninja stared at his friend, he frowned in confusion as he took in the rabbit’s appearance. “Usagi-san?” he questioned right back.

The rabbit set down the pack that had been slung across his back and walked towards the younger man with a slightly surprised expression. “You did not tell me you were trained with the katana,” he said in way of greeting, an amused smile on his lips. “Although, I should have known. You are always full of surprises.”

Smiling back, the turtle shrugged. “In my defense, you never asked.”

“True,” the rabbit conceded, before staring at the weapon. “May I?”

Handing over his sword, one of the last links he had to his life before falling to this planet, set wrong with the turtle. This sword was given to him by his father, he’d trained with this very weapon for many years, fought with it alongside his brothers and friends. It was almost too personal to allow someone else to handle it. But staring into the open, kind face of Usagi, Leo forced a smile and carefully handed over the katana.

The samurai held it expertly in hand, examining the blade and the weight in his hand. Leo found himself feeling oddly exposed as the ronin continued to stare at the sword, and began to wonder what the rabbit could see from the weapon alone. Could he tell how much use it had gotten over the years? How it had had to be re-forged a few times after being snapped in half? Or could he see all the care and attention Leonardo had put into the blade, doing his best to maintain it despite the abuse and use it had gone through?

If the rabbit saw any of it or none of it, however, he did not comment, and instead handed the katana back to its owner. Leo tried not to snatch it from the white hand too quickly. While he was beginning to trust the samurai quite a bit, he wasn’t sure he wanted the rabbit to know just how precious this sword was to him.

“I am glad to know you have some training,” the ronin nodded approvingly. “Perhaps we can spar sometime. When you are in better condition.”

“I’d like that,” Leo tried not to smile too much, wondering if he could take the rabbit by surprise in such a competition. He was eager, at least, to test his skill against an actual samurai. But not to be distracted from his earlier observations, his expression darkened. “Are you leaving, Usagi-san?”

The pleasant expression on the rabbit’s face melted away, replaced by a sober frown. “Yes. I’ve been away from the Shogun too long, I’m afraid. I must continue on my way.”

As he stared at the other man, Leo found he didn’t know how he should feel about this. After all, Usagi had been so kind to him, had helped he and April when they needed it most, and he wasn’t sure if he liked the idea of the man potentially leaving and never coming back. Despite holding the rabbit at arm’s length most of the time, Leonardo had come to like the samurai.

“Are you coming back?” he found himself asking, even though he knew he shouldn’t. Because Leonardo understood that this man had a duty to report and get back to his people. He had responsibilities. If nothing else, Leo could understand and respect that.

Apparently taken aback by the question, it took a moment for Usagi to reply. “I do not know when I would be able to return,” he answered truthfully. “But I do hope…I do hope to meet you again one day,” he offered a low bow to the turtle.

While Leonardo had a gut feeling that it would be easier to get information about the world they were on from the Ancient One with Usagi gone, he was still sorry to see the samurai go. After everything that he’d been through, after landing on this alien world, he knew the importance of keeping on good terms and making alliances with people. But practicality aside, the rabbit was kind and Leo had found they had more things in common than he would have thought. He didn’t necessarily want Usagi to go.

Bowing in return, Leo offered the samurai a sad smile. A sudden wave of emotion hit him as he realized he was once again going to lose someone else in his life. “I hope so, too. We still need to spar, remember?” he teased in an attempt to make himself feel better.

Usagi’s smile was gentle as his dark eyes twinkled in amusement. “Farewell, Leonardo-san.”

As he watched the samurai turn to leave, a thought struck the turtle. “Usagi-san.” When the rabbit looked back and they locked eyes, Leo straightened his features into a grim mask. “Don’t tell anyone about us.”

The two held eyes before Usagi nodding his head gravely, continued on his way. As he picking up his pack and walked into the woods, Leo watched him go. Inexplicably, he knew he’d be seeing Miyamoto Usagi again.

**oOoOoOo**

“UUUUGGGGGHHHHHH!! THIS. IS. _IMPOSSIBLE_!” Allowing her head to thump down against the floor after dramatically falling over from her seat on the cushion, April wallowed in her misery while Leo patted her head patronizingly.

“There, there,” he drawled.

Swatting the turtle’s hand away, April peeked open her eyes, glaring at her friend. “Quiet, you.”

Leo snorted, but continued reading the parchment the Ancient One had given him to review, still petting her hair. “You should have paid more attention to your lesson.”

Making herself more comfortable on the floor, adjusting herself until she managed to lay her head in Leo’s lap, where he had better access to her hair. “I have no idea how people know more than one language,” she moaned pitifully. “It’s _literally_ impossible.”

“I know two languages fluently,” the turtle pointed out smartly. April really wanted to punch him. “And I have a basic grasp of Chinese and know a bit of Spanish. It’s not impossible. Donatello know at _least_ seven languages fluently. Probably more.”

“Can’t you just let me be miserable?” she moaned, turning onto her side so that she was facing Leo’s belly. Without thought she reached out and started rubbing the growing stomach. “Besides, you guys’ mutant brains are probably better suited to absorb and retain information than the average human.”

Flipping the page he was reading over, Leo didn’t bother to look down at his friend. “Aren’t you technically a mutant?” he mused out loud.

She _really_ wanted to punch him. In the face. Repeatedly.

“Quiet, you.”

They continued on like this, Leo reading and petting April’s hair while April ignored the ‘homework’ the Ancient One had given her and petting Leo’s stomach. It was nice, relaxing. But as they fell silent, the human unfortunately wasn’t able to stop herself from wondering about what would happen to them.

It had been nearly a month since they’d landed on this planet, certainly a month since they left for their space journey to begin with, and they still had no idea how to get off this planet. Since Usagi had gone a week ago, Leonardo had been hard at work trying to get information out of the Ancient One about the planet, asking subtle questions about the technology, the people, and even the war.

Of course the Ancient One was wise to what Leo was really trying to ask. In fact, she seemed to know _too_ much. About _everything_. It was almost as though she knew what they were going to say before they even said it. Which was how the old turtle managed to keep a step ahead of them so efficiently, April was certain. How she was able to direct the flow of conversation and manage to speak without ever really saying anything.

But from what little the Terrans had been able to glean from the Ancient One, as well as comparing what she said to everything Usagi had said and how he acted, they got the sinking feeling that this planet was more primitive than they’d first believed. And if they were correct, if there really wasn’t even what they would consider modern technology, there was very little hope of them being able to send a signal for help.

There’d be no hope of getting off this planet.

The thought of being stuck here, of never being able to go home, living on an alien world, absolutely horrified April. There were nights that she couldn’t sleep, millions of scenarios playing through her head, the ‘what-ifs’ consuming her. What if they really couldn’t leave? What if she never saw her dad again? Her friends? Casey? What if she was forced to live the rest of her natural life here, having to live in hiding, never to show her face? What if she was discovered? What if _Leo_ was? What would happen to them if others discovered their existence?

But where the cold dread that came over them both with the dawning realization that they might never return home left April in a near panic, Leonardo stepped up. The face of the Fearless Leader had resurfaced. Instead of giving in to the panic, Leo had taken initiative and was already thinking of ways to call for help. While even the newly optimistic ninja knew that neither he nor April were geniuses, couldn’t even come close to the voodoo that Donatello could do when it came to machines, whether primitive or advanced, he still had hope. The ninja leader had other ideas. Or at least a theory. And here he was, still pouring through the Ancient One’s texts for days with a newfound enthusiasm that was nice to see despite their circumstances.

Just as April was starting to drift off, the lack of sleep the last few nights and having someone playing with her hair lulling her off to dream, Leonardo shifted suddenly. Peeking open her eyes, wanting to make sure her friend was okay, she found the turtle leaning forward a bit, eyes wide as he continued to read. Sitting up, frowning in concern, the human didn’t bother looking down at the paper. She wouldn’t be able to understand anything on it anyway. “Leo?”

Tearing his eyes away from the parchment, the turtle pointed at it excitedly. “This is it, April!” he exclaimed, smile almost blinding. “This is how we get home!”

Almost afraid to allow herself to hope, April shook her head warily. “What is? What did you find?”

“Meditation!”

Trying to remain patient, not wanting to crush his joy, April took a deep breath. “What about meditation?”

“The Ancient One is continuing my training,” Leo babbled. “If I’m able to achieve the next level, I’ll have a better connection to the universe as a whole!”

“…So?”

“ _So_?” the turtle scoffed, as if offended she wasn’t following his logic. But in her defense, she knew this already. Leo had explained this to her several times before. “If I could connect with the universe as a whole,” he continued in a rush, “I could make a connect through meditation to some _one_! I could send a message to Sensei! I could _call for help_!”

Heart beating rapidly against her chest, April stared at her friend for a long moment, before sitting up and grabbing at his shoulders. “You can call for help?”

“I just have to master the next step,” Leo agreed.

April frowned in concern. “Can you do that? I mean, can you do that, like…soon?”

Finally the enthusiasm dimmed, but the determination continued to burn hotly in his eyes, and with the new scar across his eye, he made for an intimidating figure. “It may take some time, but I can do this, April,” he vowed fiercely. “Give me a while, a few months tops, but I can do this. I promise.”

Biting at her lower lip, not wanting to discourage him, not wanting to add any more pressure, but also not wanting to get her hopes up, the human nodded, taking a deep breath. “I know you can, Leo.”

Giving the turtle a hug, as she pulled back, April made sure to keep ahold of his shoulders. “Take what time you need. And if things get to be too stressful,” she glanced down at his stomach briefly, “it’s okay to take a break. We’ll get through this.”

Smiling softly, the turtle gave the human another quick hug. “Thanks, April. Now, I need to go talk to the Ancient One. Maybe she’ll know how to help speed this up. And _you_ ,” he smirked rather meanly as he struggled to get up off the cushions, “need to do your homework.”

The human groaned as she gave him a shove – and if it ended up helping him to stand, they both pretended not to notice. “Quiet, you.”

Leaning back on her hands as she watched Leo shuffle off to find the older turtle, April couldn’t help but smile as she heard the ninja’s quiet laugh. She just hoped that things really would work out in the end.


	23. Stepping Stones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leonardo speaks to the Ancient One about his plan to contact Splinter through meditation, while Usagi enacts his own plans for the Shogun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Tis the season of illness, so I apologize for the long silence. It's been rough.   
> But I hope everyone had an awesome Christmas and/or other holidays!

“What do you mean I can’t call for help?!” Leonardo scowled at the old turtle, frustrated desperation burning in his heart as the other terrapin sat staring up at him blandly. “It says right here that if you can connect to the universe, theoretically, you can make a connection with other people. That you can manifest before them or appear in visions. I’ve seen it done! Master Splinter did it when we were in the woods after the Kraang invas –”

The ninja cut himself off as he realized he was probably saying a little too much. Then again, the Ancient One already seemed to know a lot about his life anyway, despite Leo not saying much about it. But taking in her less than amused expression, without any hint of curiosity for what he’d been about to say, the younger turtle suspected that nothing he said would be new news to her anyway.

“Your Master Splinter,” the old woman began calmly when Leo managed to reign in his emotions. “Tell me, when he appeared to you, what was his state of being?”

The hormones were trying their damnedest to mess with his brain, but Leo squashed the urges that threatened to get the better of him as he sat near the older kame. If this was going to work, he needed to get all the information he could from the Ancient One, and the first step to obtaining said information was to be patient and as truthful as possible with her upfront. Anything else would likely trip him up later. “He was badly hurt and…and his mind wasn’t right. It was like his reason and memories had been turned off and he was surviving due to basic, even baser, instincts.”

“I see,” the old turtle nodded sagely, dark eyes glittering knowingly. “So his consciousness was disconnected from his physical body.”

Leo hesitated, rubbing at his stomach as he felt the eggs shifting a bit. “That’s accurate, I suppose,” he mumbled.

“Has he been able to speak to you in such a way again?” the Ancient One pressed, taking up her tea as her eyes went to focusing on his hand tracing soothing circles over his plastron.

Knowing that he was likely giving her more leverage against him rather than making a stronger case for himself, Leonardo begrudgingly admitting, “No.”

The old woman shook her head as she set the tea cup aside, hands going to his stomach, lightly helping massage the slight ache away. “You have great aspirations, Leo-san, but you dream too big too soon,” she chided. “Your Splinter was able to speak with you as he did because his consciousness was almost completely severed from his physical form. It had nowhere else to go other than to stream into the cosmic energies of the universe. _You_ , however, are very much grounded within yourself.” She stared pointedly at his stomach.

Disheartened, but still determined, the ninja leader’s mind race to find some kind of solution to salvage something of his plan. He’d made a promise to April, after all! “There has to be a way to do this,” he murmured, almost more to himself than to his new sensei. Glancing up at the powerful being, he felt shy as he asked, “Would it be possible for you to –?”

“ _Aiya_! No!” the Ancient One scowled outright, hands shooting up to her head, as if to block out the request. “I cannot get involved. Besides, to speak or convey a message like this, and at such great distance –” she raised an eye ridge that let Leo know she knew just how far away his family actually was “ – it would take a personal, spiritual connection with the other being. Even if you _did_ master the next step of your meditation – and you are still far from it – what you wish to do is very difficult.”

“But what if I can get to the next level?” Leo pressed, desperation oozing into his voice. This was the best way to get back home that he’d found. He couldn’t give up just because it would be hard. “I could reach Sensei – my father, I mean – and he could tell my brothers about what happened and they could figure out a way to help me and April.”

The disappointment in the old woman’s eyes left the ninja feeling helpless and guilty, but he wasn’t sure what he’d done to deserve the look or even why he should feel the way he did. He knew he was missing something, but he had no idea what. The old turtle shook her head as she carefully returned her hands to his stomach. Her expression was concentrated and stern as she inspected his rounding plastron, causing the younger turtle to squirm uncomfortably. “Even if you _did_ master your next lesson – and I firmly believe that is still far off into the future – are you certain that you could connect with your father?”

“Of course,” Leo blinked in confusion, just able to hold back the scoffing note in his voice. “He’s a ninja master and the most skilled of anyone I know in communing with the energies of the universe. If I were to connect with anyone, it would be him.”

“Are you certain?”

Why did she have to question him? Why did she always make him second guess himself? Having to restrain not only his temper, but a groan, Leo stopped short of pulling at the tails of his mask that weren’t there. He felt suddenly very naked without it. “If you have something to say, just say it.” It was supposed to come out as a petulant sneer, but only sounded exhausted.

Shaking her head as she finally looked back up at the boy, the Ancient One decided to be merciful and replied bluntly, “What about Raphael-san?”

The unexpected usage of the name allowed a momentary flare of sadness and hurt to flash through Leo. He hadn’t been prepared for that. But reigning himself in before he could either scream or cry, anger and bitterness slowly seeped into the cracks of his broken heart, holding him together. Steeling himself for the conversation to come, he asked, “What does he have to do with anything?”

“ _Aiya_ ,” the old turtle rolled her eyes towards the ceiling. “You were gifted with intelligence, Leonardo-san – _use it.”_

Insulted, but putting the pieces together, Leo shook his head in disbelief. “Wait. Do you seriously think that if I could connect with anyone, it would be _Raph_?” Cold dread seeped into the ninja’s stomach at the expectant glare from his sensei. Shaking his head, a nearly hysterical laugh escaped as Leo sat forward, blue eyes incredulous. “You’ve got to be joking. Raph’s basically spiritually _dead_. He can barely meditate at all! He’s never gotten past the elementary lessons!”

“But _you_ are strong, are you not?” The gleam in the old turtle’s eyes made Leonardo nauseous.

Heart thundering against his plastron as a million different images of his lover flashed through his mind, many of them not so good, the ninja shook his head. “I can’t reach out to Raphael.”

“Why? You are not close to him?” the old woman asked skeptically.

“No!” Leo cried, before backpedaling at the flat stare he received. “I-I mean, we’re close, kinda, I guess – we’re brothers – but we’re not _that_ close!”

“Just close enough to sleep with and get impregnated by him?” the old woman scoffed.

Hurt, deeply insulted, and starting to freak out at having to once again face the realities of his fucked up relationship, Leo found himself snarling in the face of the ancient being. “You have no idea what you’re talking about! You don’t know anything about this!”

The sudden blaze of black eyes should have been a warning to anyone not to press the Ancient One, but with how upset Leonardo was at the moment, he didn’t notice. Thankfully for him, however, the Ancient One did not immediately react to the passionate outcry. Instead she reached out and grabbed the boy’s chin, shadowy eyes piercing straight into the heart. She didn’t speak, but as he fell into the void, the Terran came to understand just how lucky he was. The obsidian orbs swirled with an energy and wisdom that left Leonardo breathless, as if he was standing at the edge of the universe and staring out into the vastness of space. And for a breathless, timeless moment, all the answers to the cosmos were set before him.

But the boy was brought out of his trace, crashing back down to the earth and the body which he called his own, when the Ancient One spoke. “Perhaps you truly do not realize the closeness you share with your mate,” she murmured as she released his chin, as the younger turtle gasped, trembling slightly from witnessing such power. “Or perhaps you do not wish to admit his importance.”

Leo averted his eyes in shame as he continued to shiver. Now that the world had oriented itself again, he was left feeling almost more lost and despondent than he had before. Was there any way he could feel even remotely normal again? The sickness he felt over everything he’d done with Raph was catching back up with him, pressing down upon him. He hated feeling like this. Hated always having his feelings come up for inspection. Terrified at having to face the consequences of his past hideous actions.

“If you truly wish to learn to accept what has happened to you, you cannot simply ignore the past,” the Ancient One stole the ninja from his thoughts. “You must accept who you are, what you feel, and what Raphael-san is to you if you wish to move on, child. If you cannot, you will never be able to open yourself up to the universe. You will never be able to communicate with anyone if you cannot truthfully communicate with yourself.”

Biting his lower lip to keep himself from screaming in frustrations, Leo continued to stare down at his clasped hands over his swollen belly. It wasn’t fair. It really, truly wasn’t. Why was it that in order to be saved, he had to keep hurting himself to do it? What was he supposed to do? Give up what little dignity he had left to go out and shout to the world that he was complete and total moron because he was hopelessly and recklessly and _stupidly_ in love with his arrogant, backstabbing prick of a brother? Why couldn’t he just let the past fade away, forgotten?

When he did not speak, the old turtle sighed. “You wish to treat what happened between you and your lover as if it did not exist. It _did_. You will never be able to forget Raphael-san.”

Deflating, Leo turned away from the bulging reminder of his plastron to glare out the window. “I know,” he muttered bitterly. He’d always known from the beginning, no matter how hopeful he’d been about deluding himself.

Apparently not wanting to leave him to sulk, the Ancient One snatched up the parchment the younger turtle had been looking over. “If you are to communicate with anyone, we have much work to do,” her voice was crisp and would tolerate no nonsense, catching the younger _kame_ by surprise. “First step, you must remember. Remember your past, _accept_ your past, and let all feelings of guilt and shame, every emotions, go. Do this, and you will be closer than you ever have with the universe. The universe simply _is_ , it does not care what you _feel_. Separate yourself from feelings, focus on _fact_.”

Stunned at the sudden change of the Ancient One, amazed that she was suddenly more interested in helping, Leo found himself nodding along as he swallowed back emotion. Glancing over to the door when he sensed movement, the turtle saw April peeking in, checking in to make sure everything was okay. She was such a good friend. Much better than he deserved. Resolved once more to do what it took, Leonardo nodded more firmly to his teacher. Even knowing it was going to be a painful journey if he was ever going to succeed, he would do it. He would remember everything about his family, about Raphael, and let it go to bring him closer to the universe. Because if nothing else, April deserved to be able to return home.

**oOoOoOo**

It took nearly a week’s travel from the home of the Ancient One before Usagi finally emerged from the woods. As he came out from the boughs, he was astonished to find himself not at all where he should have been. Instead of coming out near or around Shizuoka, the rabbit found himself in a very different town, near the mountains. The closer to the town the samurai came, the more the town began to resemble Yamaguchi. Looking back the way he had come, he frowned in confused wonder. Had he really come from Aomori? He should have been many miles from that forest. The magic of _yokai_ , no doubt.

But continuing on his way, holding his cloak tighter around himself, the samurai attempted to appear as threatening as possible. While not officially within Lord Hebi’s territory, Yamaguchi was sympathetic towards the serpent. The border town was not usually a welcomed place for those supportive of Lord Noriyuki, and the rabbit knew he would have to be on his guard.

It began to rain, the streets running with water and filth, as the people still out and about scrambled to find shelter. Having nowhere to go, eventually the ronin found a tavern and slinked inside. It was loud and boisterous, many having gathered out of the storm. With his white fur covered in the dark clothing the Ancient One had given him, Usagi was able to easily blend into the background and came to settle himself down away from the merrier groups. Once seated and situated, a server came by and he ordered a hot meal. He was looking forward to something heavy to fill his stomach. He had not had much in the way of a meal since leaving the home of the Ancient One.

When his food came and he ate, the rabbit allowed himself to relax a bit. Unable to stop himself, he began reflecting upon his most recent adventure. He still couldn’t quite believe what he’d discovered, not sure he hadn’t been trapped in some sort of dream. Now that he was away, out from the shadow of the trees, it all felt surreal, as though it had perhaps never happened. There was no such things as _yokai_ , just as it was impossible for men to become pregnant, and there were no ancient beings roaming the earth helping weary travelers. Such notions were complete and total fantasy.

But it had been real. No matter how much he came to doubt himself, Usagi knew what he’d seen. Out in the Aomori Forest – or perhaps elsewhere and Aomori was merely the route to get to the mythical dwelling of the Ancient One – was a young man preparing himself for motherhood with his _yokai_ friend. It was an incredible story, even with how little Usagi knew, and for a moment, he wondered what the Shogun would make of it when he returned.

_Don’t tell anyone about us._

Shaking his head, the samurai sighed at his own foolishness, focusing on his food. Of course Leonardo-san had been justified in his fear. No one could know about the existence of a boy who could bear children and apparently control a monster. There were many fortune seeking hunters out in the world, even now, who would love to get their hands on a real living _yokai._ And worse, exposing Leonardo-san and what he was could become disastrous. Certainly the boy would be an exotic trophy for any man with less than honorable intentions.

No, in order to keep the boy and his _yokai_ safe, as well as to ensure that the Ancient One was not disturbed, Usagi knew he could never tell anyone the whole truth about where he’d disappeared to for nearly a month, nor the people he had met. Not even to the Shogun. It was far too risky and the samurai had vowed to protect his new friends as best as he could.

“Well!” a very loud, very familiar voice boomed over the rabbit, breaking him from his musings. “This is a face I have not seen in many, many moons!”

Usagi should not have been so surprised. No, in fact, this is exactly what he should have expected after everything he’d recently been through. If this was not a sign of good fortune, he did not know what was. “Gennosuke-san,” he greeted with a small smile as he stood in greeting. “What an excellent surprise. Would you care to join me?”

While the rhino appeared in good spirits – clearly he’d had much to drink – there was a gleam in his eye that the samurai had come to learn to be cautious of. Gennosuke-san was not drunk enough to have lost his wit completely. With the kind of hunter he was, he couldn’t afford to let his guard down. After so long of not seeing the samurai, and with the start of the war, things were suddenly becoming more black and white. If you were not with someone, you were against them. Usagi had clearly thrown his lot in with Lord Noriyuki, and for those like Gennosuke-san who had yet to declare firm allegiance to anyone had to constantly watch their back, even from old friends.

Smile never faltering, the rhino nodded, plopping down opposite the rabbit, drink in hand. “You are a sight for sore eyes,” the rhino smirked. “I would not have thought to have run into you in such a place, my friend.”

Smiling back, Usagi nodded, taking up his own glass. “Yes, I’m afraid I got turned around in the woods,” he admitted, not offended by the bounty hunter’s booming laughter.

“And you say _I_ am bad with directions,” Gennosuke-san laughed. “How did your head get so turned around?”

With a twinkle in his eye, Usagi smirked. “ _Yokai_ trickery.”

Again, the rhino cackled, leaning forward to grasp the smaller man’s shoulder, shaking it good-naturedly. “Of course! I should have known. Damn those _yokai_ , leading unsuspecting travelers astray.”

“Indeed,” the rabbit agreed, finding it good to hear his friend’s laughter again. Thus far Gen-san appeared agreeable, did not appear to hold any ill-will against him after the long silence between them. And he obviously didn’t have too strong of a dislike for Noriyuki _Daimyo_ , or at least tolerated his supporters. Or maybe it was simply because he knew Usagi? But whatever the case, at least Gennosuke-san hadn’t turned him over to Lord Hebi’s supporters…yet. “So what have you been up to, my friend?” he asked amiably.

“What else?” the rhino grinned. “Chasing fortune!”

“You are growing out your horn,” the rabbit observed. “Are you planning on keeping it this time?”

“Of course not,” Gen-san snorted. “There’s a profit to be made from the ivory.”

Humming – still not sure what to think of his friend’s habit of selling his own body part even if it grew back – the samurai shook his head in amusement. “You have not changed,” he commented lightly. “I am grateful.”

An eyebrow shot up as for the first time during their interaction, and now the game would truly begin. Still smiling, but with steel beneath, the bounty hunter leaned back in his chair, studying the rabbit. “Are you? Well, I _am_ a wonder to behold! It’d be a pity to change now.”

“Indeed,” Usagi agreed with a chuckle. “Can I buy you a drink, my friend?”

A slow smirk crawled across the rhino’s lips as he leaned back in his chair. “You may _always_ buy me a drink, friend,” he joked, but his eyes were hard. “And you may catch me up on what is going on in your world.”

And just like that, the two fell back to their old habits, with Genn-san willing to listen to Usagi’s proposals – as long as the sake was flowing and the price was right. And later that night, after speaking in more details about a job with his friend – away from curious ears – the samurai went to sleep, amazed at how easily Leonardo-san’s plan had worked out. If only he’d thought of it sooner.


	24. Lessons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A day of lessons with the Ancient One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Friday!

“Deep breathes,” the Ancient One’s voice was gentle as she instructed Leonardo through meditation. “Feel yourself floating, weightless. You are lighter, higher than you ever have been. What do you see?”

“Stars,” Leo’s voice was whisper soft as he allowed his mind to slowly detach itself from his body thread by thread, until it felt almost as though he were a balloon with only a thin string tethering him to the earth. It was getting easier to feel this way, to separate mind from body in segments. It took a while, maybe hours that felt more like years, but once he arrived at this stage, could just taste the beginnings of freedom, held back by only a thin line of – what was it holding him back? Something. It wasn’t important. He could let go right now. _Should_ let go. To drift amongst the stars. To be free…

Three tiny heartbeats sounded in his ears, deafening just before he obtained true serenity. Startled, heart lurching painfully, he was suddenly reminded of what it was that held him to earth. Reminded him of why he could not let go. Why he should _never_ let go.

Faltering, he feeling sick and heavy.

“They are not in danger, Leonardo,” the calm, but firm voice of the Ancient One stopped the younger turtle from slipping down any further. “You must go. To the stars, Leonardo. Reach for _them_.”

“But my babies…” Who would look after them if he went any higher? Who would care for them? Love them? How could he, in all good conscious, leave them?

He slipped down a little further.

“They are well. You must _let_ _go_ , Leonardo. You must let go of _everything_.”

“I…” He couldn’t. If he let go, everything would fall apart. He couldn’t let go. Not when his eggs would be left unprotected, uncared for, and alone. Not when he still felt so lost. Not when there was April to think about. How could he give up all his responsibilities and turn away? He was a leader, one who bore all the duties placed upon his shoulders for the good of his team. “I can’t.”

He fell.

Crashing back into his body, Leonardo came out of meditation with a harsh gasp, sweat streaming down his face. He was shaking, as though he’d been plunged deep down into icy water. Stomach rolling with the unpleasant sensations, Leo’s only thought before he vomited was that he was glad to be outside.

“ _Aiya_.”

As Leo barely managed to hold himself up with shaking hands, he leaned over and continued to puke all over the grass in the gardens. Meditation lately were always an intense experience, often leaving the turtle exhausted and ill, but he had yet to actually get sick because of it. As he heaved, all the ninja could do was close his eyes, trying not to move too much. His head ached and all he wanted to do was curl up somewhere quiet and never move again.

After a few minutes he registered that there was a hand rubbing his shell. He didn’t have to open his eyes to know it was the Ancient One. Her presence was both comforting and humiliating. It was with dread that he anticipated the black eyes shining down at him with a clear and definite ‘I-told-you-so’ twinkle. Not that he could blame her. She had, after all, warned him about the difficulties.

When he calmed down enough that he didn’t think he’d end up spewing all over the place again, Leo sat up and winced when the Ancient One shoved a glass of water at him. Taking it gratefully, he swished his mouth out, desperate to be rid of the foul taste of stomach acid, before spitting it out. “Thanks,” he murmured.

Black eyes were watching carefully, wrinkled face screwed up in scrutiny, before letting out a gusty sigh. “Perhaps that is enough today.”

“I-I can still try again,” Leo insisted, but honestly didn’t think he could do it. He felt horrible, drained from the experience. The only other time he’d felt remotely similar to this was after being thrown off a building.

Yet Leonardo was never one to balk away from a challenge. He’d been so _close_. For a split second he could have sworn he’d felt a true connection with the universe. That peace that Splinter had often spoken to him about, but had never quite been able to put into words. Now Leo sort of knew what his father had been talking about, what he’d attempted to communicate to his son.

But close had never been good enough.

“No,” the old woman shook her head resolutely, as if sensing her student’s stubborn determination. “You are done. You may meditate on something else if you wish, but _not_ that. Too much strain on the little ones.”

As the Ancient One push herself and toddled away, Leo watched bitterly, rubbing his stomach. The all too intimate feeling of failure slowly creeped up on him. While he certainly would never wish any harm to come to his children, the ninja knew that he could have probably gotten closer to his goal of connecting to the universe if he wasn’t so worried about the eggs. He wished he could push himself without harming them or being so limited in what he did physically. If only he could go for a run or practice more rigorous _katas_ to burn away the revolting sense of failure. But he was stuck. April had already scolded him the other day for practicing too vigorously. And while he knew she only meant well and was looking out for not only him, but for the eggs, Leo was slowly losing patience with everyone and everything. He wasn’t _useless._

Staring down at the source of his exasperation, the young turtle continued to pet the growing bulge, both loving it and hating it at the same time. “You guys are going to drive me nuts,” he muttered, hand smoothing over his stomach affectionately. “I bet you guys’ll be just like Raph...”

Honestly, Leo decided that that wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing. When it came down to it, Raphael was one of the best people the older ninja knew, and it wasn’t just because they’d been lovers. Raph was brave, bold, passionate, and a fierce fighter. When push came to shove, he could always count on Raphael to watch his back, to be there for him when they were in a fight. Despite their arguments, despite their disagreements and all the fuckery between them, there was no one Leonardo would rather have by his side.

With that being said, however, Leonardo was no fool. He knew very well all of the younger ninja’s glaring faults. Along with his fierce passion came a terrible, wicked temper. Biting, sometimes hateful, rude, and stubborn, Raphael was a nightmare to deal with if the younger turtle didn’t feel inclined to listen. If he’d had hair, Leo was sure he’d have torn it out _years_ ago solely due of his willfully defiant brother. There was no denying Raphael’s cruelness, his pettiness, shocking in his capacity for callousness. At times, it scared Leonardo how malicious his lover could be.

But there was so much more to Raphael than all that. Much more. Despite all his faults, Raph could always manage to surprise Leonardo with his caring, warm nature. There were times when he was just so gentle, almost soft. It was because of this hidden, tender side of his brother that Leo had fallen in love with the brute. That shocking capacity to love.

And while Leonardo didn’t exactly think too highly of himself lately, he decided he’d like the children to inherit some traits from him as well. To counterbalance any of the less desirable qualities they might inherit from their siring parent. His calmer, more logical disposition would be a blessing to pass on to the kids, he was sure. If they had more of his stable temperament but got their ‘father’s’ passion and strength, Leo would be pleased. He wasn’t vain enough to want any of them to look like him necessarily or expect them to act exactly like him. They were going to be their own unique little individuals, and Leonardo was determined to love them no matter how they behaved or what they looked like. As long as they were healthy, had all their little fingers and toes, and grew up feeling happy and loved, Leo would be content.

Still stroking his plastron, idly the ninja wondered if the kids would take to ninjitsu as well as he and his brothers had. If Master Splinter’s stories about when the brothers had been little were true, the mutants had started picking it up pretty early. Maybe Leo’s own little ones would be quick studies, too. The thought made him smile. Teaching had always been something Leo enjoyed – pending on if his brothers cooperated, that is – and he liked sharing the knowledge he had gleaned through his studies with anyone willing to listen. The opportunity to teach his own little ones warmed Leonardo’s battered heart. Ninjitsu was a skill that while Leo prayed his children would never have to rely upon for their very survival, he did hope that they would come to enjoy it to some degree.

He’d start thinking of weapons for them after they were born. While Splinter claimed that the weapon chose the ninja, Leo had come to realize that in part, his father had known which weapon would suit which son long before introducing them to the horde of rambunctious little turtles. Based on their personalities, on their strengths and skills, Splinter had subtly pushed and directed each child to the corresponding weapon best matched to them. Leonardo remembered the day he’d first been given his katana. One of the proudest moments of his life. Perhaps one day he would be given the chance to share such an experience with his own children.

But before weapons, actual _names_ for the kids should probably be decided first. He’d made a list of possibilities – which had sadly been left aboard the Fugitoid’s ship – but Leo remembered his favorites. And even as corny as it was, at the top of the list of running candidate for a boy’s name, was Yoshi. His brothers would probably laugh their shells off, accuse him of being a suck up or that he was just trying to get on their father’s good side, but that’s not why Leo wanted to name a son after their father at all. It was just that Leonardo truly, deeply respected Sensei. There was no better way to honor everything that Splinter had done for him and his brothers, than to name a child for him. Never had Leonardo seriously believed he’d have children of his own one day, let along be given the opportunity to name any after his father, but he would seize this one chance while it was available. So Yoshi was definitely on the top of the list. Hopefully if there was a boy in the clutch, he’d look like a Yoshi or else Leo would have to rethink his convictions.

Some time ago, Leo had decided that he wanted the names for his babies to truly mean something. In an attempt to offset all of the misfortune that had occurred in their parent’s life, the names had to be great. The thought of his little ones going through even half the misery he had through his life left Leo physically aching. All the pain and suffering he’d endured, these babies didn’t deserve that. So he’d come up with the idea of a theme. Not only would the names be Japanese in order to blend with a sibling possibly named Yoshi, but he wanted them all to mean the same thing. ‘Good luck’ – to counterbalance the bitter ‘turtle luck’ he and his brothers gone through their hard life with.

Leonardo was still hoping for a mixed clutch, wanting sons and daughters in equal measures. Again, he couldn’t help but wonder what Raphael would want, boys or girls, and what he might want to name them. The bastard always had such strong opinions on things. But as he thought over his list, of all that he’d suffered because of his brother, Leo decided he really and truly didn’t care if Raph liked the names he’d picked or whether he’d be happy with sons or daughters. Asshole hadn’t stuck around long enough to earn an opinion either way. If he wanted any opinions, he’d talk to April. She’d been more of a ‘father’ to these babies than Raph ever had.

Sighing, a little disgusted with himself that he couldn’t keep his mind off his brother, the ninja tried to purge all images of the smug jerk from his mind. While Leo knew he really couldn’t be faulted for thinking about Raph so much – he _was_ having the bastard’s clutch – that didn’t mean he wanted dwell on him. He wanted to get over the turtle, and that was pretty hard if he kept pining for him pathetically.

Growling, it took a minute for Leo to be able to get to his feet, and once he was standing, he stretched out his back. This whole gravid thing was really starting to wear him out. He’d never given much thought to how difficult it must be to lug all this extra weight around when he’d seen pregnant women on Earth, but now he had nothing but sympathy and respect for them. His feet were swelling, his back hurt, and his stomach was never satisfied, either not full enough or just nauseous. It was hard to fall asleep, too. Although to be fair, even if Leo wasn’t gravid, he was pretty sure he’d find it hard to sleep in his current situation.

As he entered the house, he saw the Ancient One torturing April by making her dust the shelves while also forcing her into conversation for her for practice. Smiling slightly, reminded of Cinderella, Leo went and sat down on the couch, groaning as he stretched his legs out, trying to sit in the best position so that it didn’t strain his back. “How’s lessons?” he asked, smirking at the dirty look his friend shot him.

“April-san needs work,” the old turtle sighed in disgust.

“I am trying,” the human defended, with a sullen mutter. “Japanese is hard.”

“You know those phrases, yet you do not know useful language?” the Ancient One snorted with a roll of her eyes.

“Maybe a break would help?” Leo suggested, taking pity on the girl. “Ancient One, would you tell us a story? Fairytales are often good teaching tools.”

The older _kame_ hummed in thought before grabbing April by the wrist and shoving her down beside Leonardo. The human squeaked at the rough treatment, but went with it. It was just easier when it came to the Ancient One.

“Yes, I will tell you a story,” the old turtle’s grin was wide and a little frightening. April shifted closer to Leo. “A long time ago, before the world was as we know it today, there was once a great division amongst the peoples of this planet.”

The amused smile started fading from Leonardo’s lips as he realized that this might not be a silly fairytale filled with magical monsters. Was the old turtle finally telling them a little more about this planet? Would they finally get to know more about the strange place they had landed?

“Such a division amongst the peoples ensured warfare and strife all over the world,” the old turtle’s black eyes were glittering in the suddenly darkened room, both Leo and April hanging on her every word. “Suspicion, distrust, misunderstandings between mammals and reptiles. Prophets rose up, crying out warnings of the danger, but there were others in the shadows lurking, to bring down not only the opposite faction, but their own as well. For you see, what those who cried peace did not know was that it was already too late. The world _must_ fall so that it could be reborn out of the ashes.

“Time stood still, survivors of the terrible firestorms crawling up out of the trenches to discover their homes, their _world,_ gone. For years they scrambled and struggled through the ruins of the world, fighting for their survival. While the world had been cleansed with fire, old ideas and beliefs still clung to the hearts of those that lived on, being passed on from generation to generation. Not as fierce and devastating as it once was, but it did survive. Distrust lingering between mammal and reptile. Some beings broke away from the larger societies completely, to instead live isolated, distrusting everyone other than those of their own breed. Too few had given up the hate completely. But still, there were those who carried their mistrust, their anger, until many, _many_ years had passed before a new hero arose in this place.

“He declared that the people should give up their prejudice, their anger, that they could all live in harmony and peace. And while the people remained wary, the hero drew more and more followers to his cause. He eventually befriended a member of the opposite faction, and together, they spread their message of unity across the land. A greater bond of friendship and brotherhood has yet to be found between the two as they fought to bring the peoples together.”

The human and turtle were staring at the Ancient One expectantly, April literally at the edge of her seat. Leo might have been there had he actually been able to maneuver his heavy body. But as the young ones sat in awe, the old woman did not continue the story. Her eyes took on a very far away expression, glazing over, as if she had become lost in her own story. Or perhaps they were memories? Leonardo got the sneaking suspicion that the old turtle had lived through this tale. With a name like the ‘Ancient One’ how could she not have?

When it became clear that the old turtle would not speak, April managed to ask in perfect Japanese, “What happened next?”

The quiet question broke the turtle from her musings and black eyes snapped up to stare at the younger beings in front of her. With a sudden twist to her lips, the Ancient One stood abruptly and shuffled towards the door. The room brighten once more with the light of the afternoon sun. “No more lessons for today. Still much work to be done. We’ll continue some other time,” she waved her hand impatiently.

“Wait,” Leo spoke without conscious thought, and when his mentor turned back to pin him down with her obsidian eyes, the ninja felt himself squirm, mind scrambling to come up with something to say. “What was the hero’s name?” he asked after a moment.

A slow, eerie smile tugged at the Ancient One’s lips. There was no humor in it. “The hero’s name is Hebi.”

And not allowing anymore questions, the old turtle left the room, leaving the two Terrans to wonder at the story that had just been told.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear things will start picking up soon, please be patient with me!


	25. Returning to Duty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Shogun evaluates Usagi on his return.

_“Raphael, we need to talk.”_

_The younger turtle turned, staring at Leonardo with a raised eye-ridge. It was the same look he always gave his older brother, one of annoyance masking barely concealed contempt. The neon green eyes burned, a poisonous fire that never ceased to take Leo’s breath away. But the elder brother stood his ground. Like always, he stood tall, waiting as the younger turtle walked over to him._

_They were the same height now, bringing them eye to eye. Sometimes Leo wished that he were still taller than his brother. These sort of situations would be easier if he didn’t have to stand so straight, so as not to allow Raphael to loom over him. But even so, the elder ninja got the sinking feeling that his brother wasn’t done growing yet. Perhaps in a year or so, it wouldn’t matter what Leo did._

_“What’cha want, Fearless?”_

_Shit, that voice. It had also changed since they’d first gone above ground. Gone was the lightness of youth as it deepened, rumbling like the subway cars in the distance. The tone had always been harsh, at least since they’d become teenagers, but now it was sharpening into something almost brutal, no matter the topic. Whether he was barking out hateful insults on the battlefield or whispering wicked promises in the dark, Leonardo knew that no matter what was said, he would listen to that voice._

_Squaring his shoulders, not to be deterred by the intimidating figure before him, trying hard not to let his eyes rove over the thick muscles that had swelled pleasantly over the course of the years. Thicker than Leonardo’s own. “We need to talk.”_

_“Yeah? ‘Bout what? I got shit ta do.”_

_Chest beginning to heave, fear threatening to overtake him, Leonardo forced himself to remain rooted in place, preparing himself for the attack he was certain would come his way while his face remained neutral. “I…” He had to do this, couldn’t let it remain unsaid anymore. “I-I’m…not sure you should be going out into space.”_

_What a coward. A complete and total coward. That’s not what he’d wanted to say. What he_ needed _to say. But he could work with this. Could still salvage the conversation, still say what his heart had been burning within his chest to say for years now. Because this was his last chance. In a few days, it would all be too late._

_“This again?” Raphael sneered, turning away in irritation. “I don’t got time fer this, Leo.”_

_“Stop.” It didn’t come out as the desperate plea in which it felt like in Leonardo’s heart. What came out was a command. A demand. The Leader Voice._

_Now Raphael was angry. Truly angry. The big turtle spun around, upper lip pulled back in a snarl. “_ Make _me,” he hissed, before turning his shell to his brother and stomping away._

 _This wasn’t how this was supposed to go. This was supposed to be a confession, a painful confession, but a confession nonetheless. And while he held no illusions that Raphael would ever like what he had to say, Leo still needed to say it. Still held on to the slim hope that perhaps Raphael would at least listen_ _to him, would not just dismiss him. He_ needed _Raph to listen._

_And it was because of that desperate hope, the leader followed after his brother, hoping to stop him before he left the lair. He didn’t quite make it in time, but caught up to Raphael in the tunnels. “Raph, wait!”_

_The bigger turtle didn’t bother to say anything and instead charged away. Leo ran after until he managed to pass his brother up and stand in front of him. “_ STOP _.”_

_“Get outta my way, Fearless,” the younger ninja sneered._

_“We need to talk,” Leo insisted._

_“What’s there ta talk about?” Raphael threw his hands up in exasperation. It was a good sign. He was replying, wasn’t running away again. “We been over this a million times already! I’m goin’. That’s_ final _.”_

 _“It’s_ not _final,” the leader growled right back, not thinking, simply reacting._

_“What’s left ta talk about?” Raph repeated, crossing his arms over his plastron as he waited impatiently._

_Swallowing hard, trying his best not to waver, Leo knew that this was it. This was his chance. He had to confess. If he didn’t now, he knew he never would. It_ had _to be now!_

_But as he opened his mouth, he found his voice failed. There was no sound. And as he was left opening and closing his mouth like a fish, Raph snorted, pushing past his brother, ramming his shoulder into Leo’s, before stalking away. “Yeah. That’s what I thought,” he grumbled, taking off again, leaving the petrified turtle behind._

_“_ I love you _!”_

_Blinking out of his terror-induced paralysis, Leonardo turned around only to find himself alone, his words echoing faintly off the tunnel walls. Raphael was nowhere to be seen. He was gone. And at the dawning realization that he was alone, the creeping coils of a horror he’d never quiet experienced before pierced his heart. Because he realized then and there that he couldn’t do it, couldn’t confess to his brother. Soon, Raphael would be gone, and he would be alone._

_Forever._

Eyes snapping open in the dark of his room, Leo stared up at the wooden beams above. And as his brain slowly began reorienting itself from the memory revisited in dream, he slowly pushed himself up, one hand shooting towards his bulging stomach as he gingerly sat up. It was only when upright that he noticed the tears running down his cheeks.

“Damn,” he muttered, hand shakily wiping away the shameful evidence of distress.

Knowing that he wouldn’t be able to sleep again for a while, the turtle positioned himself in the best possible position that wouldn’t put a strain on his back, and decided a light meditation was in order. Because he wasn’t sure what to do with all the feelings swirling around in his heart, but he knew they couldn’t stay there.

**oOoOoOo**

“Shogun-sama.”

Looking up from the reports from the recent battle in the west, Yamashita Masaru raised an eyebrow at the samurai in his doorway. “ _Hai_ , Matsumoto-san?”

The other macaque’s face was impassive, as he bowed low to the older primate. “Miyamoto-san has returned.”

Surprise did not show on the Shogun’s face, even if he did feel it. Standing, he followed the general out into the courtyard when indeed, Miyamoto Usagi was dismounting an _abumi-guchi_ along with a rather sordid looking rhinoceros missing his horn. But knowing that looks were not always as they first appeared, the Shogun waited patiently until the two travelers had passed their animals off to the stablemen to be taken care of, before making his presence known. Instantly, the rabbit bowed low. “Shogun-sama.”

“You must have quite a tale to tell, Miyamoto-san,” Masaru looked the young man up and down, finding him without injury and none the worse for wear. Remarkable considering the rabbit had been gone a month without explanation, while he should have been gathering intel and relaying it back to the him. “I had feared you dead.”

If the younger man took any offense to the suspicion and coldness of tone, Usagi-san certainly didn’t show it. Instead, he kept his head bowed in completely respect and submission. “My apologies, Shogun-sama, but I have been…delayed.”

Beside him, Tamotsu-san snorted, but Masaru kept his composure. “To say the least,” he drawled. Eyeing the rhino, who had stayed in a deep bow and refused to look up, the Shogun shot a glance at the general beside him. Tamotsu-san nodded. “Come with me, Miyamoto-san. I would hear what great adventures you have had that keep you away from even your duties.”

Just the slightest twitch of the ears told the macaque that the rebuke was felt, but he did not bother to acknowledge the rabbit’s fears. Instead, turning on his heels, the Shogun marched back into the palace, expecting the errant samurai to follow. When they entered his office room, the older samurai sat and waited expectantly for the rabbit as the _shoji_ slid shut.

When they were both seated, Masaru took up his abandoned tea and took a sip. “What news do you have for me, Samurai?”

Face as hard and grave as it always was, Usagi-san took a deep breath. “While I have little to report in the way of intelligence of the enemy’s movements, I have not be completely ideal. I come bearing plans for a new approach on infiltrating Lord Hebi’s forces.”

His long lost samurai was certainly full of surprises today, it seemed. Just arrived and already wanting to discuss new strategy. Either the rabbit did not realize how suspicious his disappearance looked right before there had been a great battle waged without him, or he knew _exactly_ what the Shogun must be thinking, and wished to assuage all fears. Either way, this was sure to be an interesting story if nothing else.

“Usagi-san,” the macaque held up his hands in peace, wishing to approach this from an amiable stance. He was more than capable of taking the samurai in a fight if it became necessary and secrets were sniffed out, but there was no need to escalate the situation earlier than need be. “I did not ask about tactics, I asked of news. About your travels. You have been gone a long time, after all. Tell me what you have been doing all this time.”

A crease formed between the rabbit’s eyes, and a tension that had not been there before stiffened his shoulders. “There…were civilians in the forest while I was on my way to Shizuoka.” Usagi-san’s voice was slow, deliberate, treading carefully. “One was injured and in a…delicate state. I helped them to the home of a…friend.”

“That was noble of you, Miyamoto-san,” the Shogun inclined his head. “This friend must have lived an extraordinarily long way away to keep you gone so long.”

Of course this is where the rabbit hesitated, telling Masaru that the truth would not be something he would like. Made him wonder if this ‘friend’ had not been residing in ‘friendly’ territories. “It was quite a distance,” the rabbit admitted tentatively, “but that is not what kept me.”

Was he really being truthful? Interesting. While the years of war and general hostilities had kept the macaque wary and on guard in virtually every situation, he’d also come to trust his instincts. And right now, they were telling him that while Usagi-san might be hesitant to speak the truth, he was not lying either. At least not yet. There was something the rabbit didn’t want him to know, but what it was had yet to be determined.

“Is that right?” Masaru sipped his tea calmly. “Then what was it that kept you, I wonder?”

Straightening, the rabbit continued, fully aware of his precarious position. “I could not simply leave them alone,” his dark eyes were grim. “The people I found were…they were strange,” he admitted. “Fleeing through the woods. They would not have been able to protect themselves and their friend whom I’d taken them to was an old woman. The condition of the boy...” the ears twitched once more, catching the Shogun’s attention, but the primate kept his peace. “I could not leave the boy in his condition until I was certain the women could care for him properly and would not continue to need my assistance.”

Noble. Not unexpected from this particular samurai. But despite knowing Usagi-san’s nature, staying away for an entire month without any word as to where he was or what he was doing when he had duties to preform was hardly like the rabbit. Either these people, this _boy_ , was truly in critical condition or there was more to this than what met the eye. And Masaru was willing to bet that there was more to the tale than what the rabbit was leading on.

“Indeed?” he acknowledged. “How generous of you. It is good to know that there are those still amongst us who help the downtrodden, even as the rest of us are forced to focus on our duties.”

The long ears finally drooped in shame and embarrassment. “We – Gennosuke-san and I – heard about the recent conflict.”

Studying the rabbit as he took a sip of his drink, Masaru tried to parse out the other’s true motivations over the entire situation. Had Usagi-san simply been helping civilians, or had the samurai turned, betrayed their cause? “Yes. We received heavy casualties.”

The proud shoulders slanted downwards, but still the samurai once more looked up at his commander. “My time away was not a waste,” he pressed, desperate for validation. “My good deeds were repaid in the form of wisdom.”

“Ah, yes, your plan to infiltrate Lord Hebi’s ranks,” the Shogun’s lip pulled upward wryly. “Do tell.”

Once more alive with determination, Usagi-san sat forward, dark eyes blazing. “Murakami Gennosuke, the one I have brought back with me, is a bounty hunter of great repute.”

Masaru kept his expression blank. “I doubt a bounty hunter could truly acquire the skin of Lord Hebi.”

“Perhaps not, but information might be more forthcoming,” the rabbit pressed. “Thus far Murakami-san has been neutral in this war, although has taken jobs from _both_ sides. He is willing to work for us and deliver information about the enemy’s movements and rumors leaked. Do you not see?” the samurai’s excitement was palpable. “He is _known_ to the enemy already. They do not consider him a serious threat. He could work even as a double agent if need be. His reputation is the perfect cover our previous operatives never had.”

A virtual traitor working for them? It was not the first time in history that such agents had been used, but it had never worked well for those who employed such men. There was never the certainty of loyalty or trust. Besides, a man that had actually worked against them in the past was not exactly all that comforting. What would stop him from turning again if the price was right? What was to stop him from leaking _their_ information?

“This is a terrible risk,” the macaque frowned.

“Not as much as you may believe,” Usagi-san shook his head. “I know Gennosuke-san. I admit to having previous deals with him. Before the outbreak of open war. He is my friend. I trust him.”

The primate felt his eyebrow raise in astonishment. “You would put your own honor on the line with this?” he pressed. “You are certain we can trust this man?”

“ _Hai_ , Shogun-sama,” the rabbit bowed his head low. “I would trust Gennosuke-san with my life.”

The Shogun hummed, tugging at his beard, hints of agitation finally leaking through. “And do you trust the one who gave you such ‘wisdom’?”

For a moment, the rabbit’s eyes took on a faraway expression, softening as if revisiting a cherished memory. It was not an expression the Shogun expected at this particular moment. And it was with shock that the macaque wondered again about his samurai’s absence. Who else was there with this old woman and a boy? Because Usagi-san had said he’d found ‘civilians’ meaning multiple. Had there been someone special amongst the group, someone that had tempted the rabbit to stay away perhaps longer than he ought? A woman, perhaps?

But blinking back to the moment, the samurai seemed to remember himself well enough, and nodded, face once again set seriously. “Yes. I would also trust them with my life, Shogun-sama.”

There was obviously much more to the abridged story, but Masaru knew when to press and when to leave well enough alone. He would allow the rabbit to keep silent. For now. He was certain he could draw the truth from the younger man later. After all, Usagi-san owed him much. It went against the samurai to keep anything from him for long.

“Very well,” he agreed, mind racing with the possibilities of having the bounty hunter on their side. “We shall test your Murakami-san. And if he proves faithful and useful to us, who knows? Perhaps I might send you out to receive more _wisdom_ from your new…friends.”

The rabbit’s eyes lit up in a curious fashion, though his face remained impassive but respectful. “ _Hai_ , Shogun-sama. Thank you. I am certain that Murakami-san will not disappoint you.”

“Let us hope not,” Masaru stood, offering a slight smile. “You may go now, Usagi-san,” he clasped the other warrior’s shoulder in a show of comradery and forgiveness. “Rest up. I have many tasks for you tomorrow.”

Returning the friendliness with his own half smile, the rabbit bowed low. “ _Hai_ , Shogun-sama. Thank you, Shogun-sama.”

As they walked to the door, Masaru slid open the _shoji_ and called a maid forward. “Tomoe Ame,” he called to the young feline. “See to it that Miyamoto-san is settled.”

The girl, so quiet and demure, bowed low to the macaque. “ _Hai_ , Shogun-sama. This way, if you please, Miyamoto-san,” she gestured towards the sleeping quarters.

As he watched the two young ones go, Masaru frowned in thought, watching his samurai carefully. He moved no differently than before, was as polite and formal as always, and yet…

Whatever had happened while the rabbit was away had obviously changed him, but in what way, the Shogun could not say. There was just something…something almost intangible. Nothing truly physical, and yet he could have sworn that there was this look about his eyes. Or perhaps it was his aura?

Chuckling to himself as he went back to his office, the old warrior wondered if perhaps he was not seeing the look of one who was in love. Recalling that expression the rabbit had worn, his reaction to the temptation of being able to return to his new friends, only solidified the belief that there had been a woman the samurai had taken to. Perhaps that’s why he had been reluctant to speak his whole tale? Had a young maiden swayed him with pretty face and gentle words to remain by her side a little longer? She must have truly been something remarkable. Masaru had never known the severe young man to be swayed by anyone into abandoning his responsibilities, no matter how pretty.

While as the Shogun, the thought of a young woman having such control over his warrior was not only annoying, but potentially hazardous if she delayed the rabbit, on a personal level, Masaru was amused. Ever sense Usagi-san had come under his tutelage after the tragedy, the boy had become rather cold and unreceptive to the world as a whole. His entire focus was on his training, serving the Emperor, his _daimyo,_ and the Shogun. There had been no time for courting or flirtation. To think that perhaps at long last the rabbit had been infected by such a basic emotions such as love was amusing.

There were still many questions he had for Usagi-san, but the Masaru decided that they could wait. He would see what became of the ‘wisdom’ his protégé had learned. And perhaps, if the rabbit was truly lucky, the Shogun really would send the samurai back to his friends to receive ‘wisdom’ from whoever else was hidden away with the maiden fair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reminders:  
> abumi-guchi (lit. stirrup mouth) is what I'm calling the weird horse-like-things for this story. They are nothing like the actual Japanese depictions of abumi-guchi. 
> 
> You've also met Matsumoto Tamotsu before, too, in "Losing Leo", in case you thought/remembered the name looking familiar. 
> 
> NEXT UP: April and Leo face some more hard truths.


	26. Destiny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April realizes that she and Leonardo are likely trapped forever in this strange feudalistic world, while Usagi is given another assignment.

Since waking up this morning, it hadn’t taken April long to realize that Leonardo had woken up in one of his moods. While she knew the turtle couldn’t help it, was trying his hardest to work on their escape route off this planet, the constant mood swings from hopeful determination to soul crushing depression was starting to wear on her nerves. It wasn’t his fault. It really wasn’t. And April knew better than anyone that Leo certainly had reason to feel miserable, but when he was at one of his lows, it got to her, too. It was as though he was broadcasting his emotions out for everyone to feel, to share in his misery. Maybe he couldn’t contain it and it broke free or he didn’t realize he was doing it at all. Either way, it was hard not to be affected, especially for an empath.

Today the turtle hadn’t gotten out of bed and didn’t show up for breakfast. When she’d gone to fetch him, he’d been laying on his side, facing the wall, not moving. Had she not known better, she might have thought he was still sleeping. But no matter how much she called him, he wouldn’t get up. Wouldn’t even acknowledge her presence. Figuring he needed some time, she left him in peace, hoping he would get up and come out on his own.

He did not.

At around nine-thirty at last the human forced her friend up, refusing to leave until he at least left the room. It was slowly, painfully, still not fully acknowledging April when Leo finally sat up. When he ate, it was automatic, uncomprehending what he was doing, let alone managing to enjoy any of the taste of breakfast the Ancient One had prepared special to coax the younger _kame_ out of bed. He didn’t speak a word.

After breakfast the turtle continued his silence and instead of going out to the gardens to mediate, went into the sitting room and flopped down on the couch. April watched him for a moment, hoping he might actually _do_ something, like grab a manuscript to read at least. But he didn’t. He just laid there, shell facing the world.

When the Ancient One called to ask April to help in the gardens, the girl hesitated only briefly before doing as she was told. From past experience she knew she could do little for her friend other than sit with him in silence. He probably wouldn’t even realize anyone was there with him. It was better to do something, she decided, to keep her own mind from falling down the dark path her friend was diving towards.

The two females went out and worked for a while digging up ginger root and some other things April wasn’t even sure they had back on Earth. For a time, they were quiet, April lost in thought on how exactly she might help Leonardo get a hold of himself. But her train of thought was stolen away when large, monstrous creatures with six legs appeared around the edges of the forest, grazing. Stopping, blue eyes widened in amazement as the human stared at the massive beasts. Their hides were covered in thick hair, the colors of those around the area ranging from black to dapple gray. Their movements reminded her of horses a little, but that’s about where the similarities ended. It had yet to occur to her that with a planet full of what she would consider ‘animals’ they would have creatures of their own that would be classified as beasts.

Charmed by the alien beauty, the human began looking around, wondering if there were any more animals she’d failed to actually _see_ since landing. She hadn’t given much thought to ‘birds’ or ‘incents’ before, but then, she’d had other things on her mind and taken their presence for granted. Now that she realized just _how_ different this planet was, an almost rabid curiosity consumed her. Maybe she could take a walk later and actually _look_ at the creatures of this planet, learn a little more about the world that sheltered her for the time being.

“ _Abumi-guchi_ ,” the Ancient One spoke up, eyes fixed on the ground as she continued to dig. “They pass through from time to time.”

Turning back to the old turtle, a bit startled, April nodded slowly. “ _Abumi-guchi_ ,” she repeated thoughtfully, the strangeness of the Japanese words becoming easier for her tongue to maneuver. “They are beautiful.”

The old turtled snorted. “From a distance,” she quipped. “Quite messy. A lot of work to care for.”

April smiled, thinking of the times when she had been very little when her parents would take her to the county fair back when they actually lived at the farm house. It had always been exciting to see all the animals up close, laughing whenever a cow moo-ed especially loud and long calls that caused her dad to jump, watching the 4-H kids having to clean the disgusting pig pens, or getting to pet the horses. She remembered being fascinated with horses as a child – what girl hadn’t? – and her parents politely asking the owners about all the work it took to care for them. Only now did April realize that they’d been trying to scare her out of wanting a pony with all that talk of hard work, but she hadn’t been deterred as a little girl. It had only made her want one more. Smiling at the warm, if slightly bitter memories, she went back to digging.

Thinking about home, April wondered how long she and Leo had been gone exactly. She knew Leo kept count, but he hadn’t updated her in a while. In fact, he hadn’t actually talked about home in quite some time. The last week or so all he’d done was meditate, read, and eat. He wasn’t much for talking anymore, and today showed a new low.

As if reading her thoughts – maybe she actually had – the Ancient One once again broke the silence. “Leonardo-san has been struggling in his meditation.”

It had been pretty obvious that things weren’t going as smoothly as Leo had hoped, that much was clear, but to hear the old turtle confirm her private suspicions left April feeling discouraged for her friend’s sake. Leonardo wasn’t the kind of turtle that took failure well. It was more than just a personal insult, it was a phobia. And with him being in such a sensitive emotional state…

“So that is why he is…sad?” She didn’t know the word for ‘depressed’ but she hoped the old turtle understood what she meant.

The old woman finally stopped digging to stare up at the human with a rare concerned expression aimed at her. “Yes. In part. What he is attempting is…very difficult. I am unsure if he will succeed in his task.”

Icy dread slowly crept through April’s veins as she stared at the Ancient One. Chest aching, eyes wide, the human was suddenly bombarded with the root of all the negative emotions swirling so potently through the air. Leonardo’s slow decline the past week. The Ancient One’s rather mild manner with regards to them. The frustration and anger from the ninja, the instances where he’d slink off to shut himself away in his room to be alone. His desperate attempts to meditate for endless hours.

They weren’t going home.

The realization was like a punch to the stomach, leaving the human breathless. After all this time, the shock of having landed on this planet after all that they’d been through had been enough to keep her distracted at first, and just when she’d begun to worry about never leaving, Leo had come up with this scheme to contact his father…There had been no real reason why she should have doubted him. Despite his age, what he was going through, the turtle had always risen above his circumstances, come out on top. When Leo said he was going to do something, he did it. One way or the other, eventually he got the job done. And even though she’d thought she’d prepared herself for the possibility of never going home when the stray thought flared up, she apparently hadn’t really believed it. Such a possibility had never truly been _real_. Why should it be? After all, they’d seen their city fall into the tentacles of the Kraang bent on taking over the world, fought impossible odds more times than she cared to count, and watched another alien species completely blow up their entire _planet_ , only to find a way to save the world despite the astronomical odds stacked against them. Why should this be the one time they failed?

But now _was_ different. She knew it was different from every other time before. Because Leonardo was not himself.

He would not be able to contact Splinter.

Tears were streaking down her cheeks before she could even register the fact. Standing from her kneeling position on the ground, the human turned and began walking out into the meadow before the woods. She wasn’t sure where she was going, just that she needed some time to herself. Needed to come to terms with the fact that it was more than likely she would never be seeing her home, her friends, her father ever again.

Walking into the woods, finding a nice place to sit, April crumpled.

It had been some time since she’d cried so hard. The last times she actually sobbed being that first year she’d met the turtles and her father was taken by the Kraang. After everything that happened, what with finding out about not only mutants, but aliens, and her dad turning into mutant-alien thing, her journey out into space, no one could blame her for crying now and again throughout her teenage years. But it had been years since she’d cried like this. A real sense of agony shook her to her core.

She was never going home.

Images of her father popped up in her head, reminding her of the loving parent she had left behind, who would never know what truly happened to his little girl. Of the Donnie and Mikey and Master Splinter, who would also be left wounded over their missing brother and son, not knowing what to do or what had happened. And with a fierce stab, April knew she would never get to explain herself or her feelings to Casey. She had turned him away with no real good explanation, unsure if she wanted anything more with him despite always having felt a deep connection with him regardless their many and great differences.

After the tears for everything lost to her now, came the tears for facing the unknown. Because she was now stranded on a planet with no way off that was not her own. She could not easily blend in here, she did not truly know the language, and she was completely out of the time. Here, on this planet, _she_ was the alien, wholly and completely. She could not be seen by just anyone, there being fear she was some kind of monster. While having been distressed, hurt, and sick, April still remembered Usagi’s reactions to her when they’d first been introduced to one another. The rest of her life would have to be spent hidden away from the view.

Perhaps it had been an hour. Maybe a little more, maybe a little less. Regardless, April knew she couldn’t continue to sit out here and feel sorry for herself. It wouldn’t help anything if she cried, and honestly she hardly had it so very terrible. After all, she still had Leo, had the Ancient One to help her navigate through this world, a roof over her head, and food. Most beings in the universe didn’t even have this much. Keeping that in mind, she pushed herself up on shaky legs, dried her eyes, and after a deep breath, walked back to the house. While heartbreaking perhaps, she knew she’d survive this, just like Leo. He might be depressed now, but she would try to get him focused on other things. Like his children.

Right now, they were the most important things in their lives. And hopefully they would be enough to pull both aliens out of their depression and restore their vigor for life.

**oOoOoOo**

Things were going well. Very well actually. After settling on an appropriate price – and after Usagi had basically had to beg to get the rhino to think beyond just his pockets – Gennosuke-san had gone and made contact with some known supporters of Lord Hebi. As suspected, it wasn’t hard for the rhino to schmooze his way into the enemy’s fold. Despite his faults, one could never say that Gennosuke-san was not talented in manipulation. The bigger mammal had a talent when it came to making friends (whether or not he could keep them was a different matter entirely).

The plan was working so well, no one the wiser amongst Hebi’s men, that Usagi found himself felling hopeful for the first time in too long. Unlike the other spies of the past, Genn-san was not immediately discovered, and after the Shogun had spoken with the rhino privately, it became clear that the macaque didn’t believe that he would be any time soon. Gennosuke-san was simply the perfect man for the job.

Which was why Usagi couldn’t believe he hadn’t thought of his old friend from the beginning. Perhaps it had simply been the case that the rhino had never been in his mind. Certainly he had no real reason to. After all, Genn-san had made it very clear the last few times the rabbit had ever seen him that he did not care about the war. War was simply a means to gain profit in his opinion. Good or bad, right or wrong, it was all the same. He did not believe in any one cause – only the cause of gaining wealth. So perhaps it was natural for Usagi not to have thought of the bounty hunter that wanted nothing to do heroes or the means to the greater good.

Yet it was amazing how one conversation with Leonardo-san had opened the samurai’s mind so clearly. The turtle was obviously young, perhaps not even twenty summers, yet he showed more wisdom and understanding than the majority of the beings Usagi knew. But there was more to him than wisdom, there was true intelligence, an air about the boy that made him appear…certainly poise, but there was more to it than that. No movement was wasted, no expression random. Perhaps it was simply put that Leonardo-san was very much in control, even when he was obviously going through a hard time in his life.

Which was another reason Usagi found himself still thinking of the boy. Certainly his knowledge and advice was well worth seeking, but the curious fact of his…biology kept the rabbit’s attention perhaps more than it should have. But it was not really his fault. It was not every day that one ran across a young man pregnant. It was so bizarre, and yet, it had appeared almost completely natural for Leonardo-san. He bore it well, maintained his composure and grace.

What had become of the boy, the rabbit wondered not for the first time since leaving the home of the Ancient One. While elegant and composed, the turtle could not hide his melancholy. But that was to be expected, the samurai supposed. While the boy never spoke in depth about what had happened to him, how he and April-san had come to be out in the woods, nor of the man whom he had once had…relations with, the stress on the young turtle was obvious. Whatever had happened, whatever situations had led for their paths to cross, it had not been under happy circumstances.

“Usagi-san.”

Coming out of his resolve, the samurai looked up to find the Shogun walking towards him. “ _Hai,_ Shogun-sama.” He stood and came to attention.

The macaque waved him off, a light smile on his face. It was a relaxed expression, his posture loose and unhurried, but Usagi knew better than to believe that the Shogun was not on guard. The old primate was cunning, never showed what he was truly feeling or thinking at any given moment. Many had underestimated the Shogun in the past, believed they’d gotten the better of him, only to be struck down by the macaque in the end.

“I wanted to ask you something, Usagi-san,” the older warrior began, smiling pleasantly.

“Of course, Shogun-sama,” the rabbit nodded. “What can I do for you?”

Walking in step, the two began down the garden path, listening to the songs of birds and other creatures. Waiting patiently for the older samurai to speak, it didn’t take long. “I wanted to congratulate you on your friend’s success in infiltrating Lord Hebi’s outter ring.”

“I am glad that he was able to be of service.”

The macaque nodded along quietly. “As am I. But I came to wonder since it was a brilliant idea to place the bounty hunter in such a position, did you receive any more wisdom from this mysterious friend you spoke of briefly?”

Once more snippets of his past conversations from Leonardo-san flashed through the rabbit’s mind. All their debates. But blinking out of his reserve, the samurai tried to recover from his embarrassing lapse of focus. “I have told you everything that I have learned,” he replied, unsure why the Shogun was bringing this up again. Was he questioning Usagi’s loyalty? Did he doubt that the rabbit had told him everything that could be of use to their war?

It was hard to tell what the Shogun was really thinking. Still wearing a smile, the macaque nodded. “Yes, you said. Although I admit, I had hoped you had forgotten something,” he laughed. “Thus far, your secret source of wisdom has only helped us and our cause. Your wisdom-giver is quite an asset.”

“Yes,” the rabbit nodded slowly.

They paused as they entered the palace. The primate turned and regarded the samurai directly. The smile dropped from his lips, expression serious. “I have half a mind to send you back to your wisdom-giver.” Usagi felt his heart beating faster. “If I sent you, I would expect your return in a timely manner. And that you bring more wisdom to me.”

Nodding instantly, Usagi was bowing to the Shogun. “I will, Shogun-sama.”

The Shogun stared down at the younger man, eyes hard. “Bring me my wisdom, Miyamoto-san. And we’ll see what rewards shall be given when you return.”

Not caring about rewards, the samurai was bowing again lower than before. “ _Hai,_ Shogun-sama. I will return promptly.”

And with only a one last hard look from the Shogun, Usagi was released and promptly went to his rooms to pack for the journey to the Ancient One’s home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...So, been a while. Sorry. RL things popped up HARD core. 
> 
> Enjoy!


	27. Welcomed Returns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo is trying to pull himself together when Usagi returns.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FYI: The birth is just around the corner, so stay tuned!

About five months into the pregnancy and Leo felt like he was going to explode. Staring down at his bulging stomach, he concluded that there was no way his plastron could possible curve anymore. He was huge and uncomfortable and generally just plain miserable. The triplets had apparently undergone some kind of growth spurt in the last week, yet there were approximately another two months to go. Or so said the Ancient One. Leonardo hoped that wasn’t seriously the case. He had _no_ more room left for these eggs to expand.

Running his hands down his stomach, as if he could smooth the enormous bump away, the turtle sighed. As if to remind him that they were still there and wouldn’t be going away anytime soon, the eggs shifted, causing the ninja to wince. Yeah, they were definitely Raphael’s kids. Completely exasperating.

He was sitting outside, huddled close beside April in the Fall sun, pulling the blanket the Ancient One had given him tighter around his shoulders. It was early September, the leaves beginning to turn and fall. It wasn’t like in the United States back on Earth, from what he’d seen out at the farmhouse before, but it was beautiful all the same. The splash of colors, orange and red and yellow were warm and lovely and instilled a sense of calm over him. Especially since the last several weeks had been…difficult.

Having to face the facts that he and April were more than likely going to be stuck on this planet for the foreseeable future, that his children would be born here, would likely have to begin their lives knowing nothing but this planet, had been hard truths to swallow. And with the knowledge of their being stranded came a whole host of other realities that he’d had to face. Like how it was very likely he’d never see his family or other friends again. The fact that he’d dragged April into this mess, that it was because of _him_ that she would never even see any of her own kind again.

But recently, as he sat drinking ginger tea in the Fall air and watching the leaves float down in lazy patterns, Leonardo was struck most about the fact that at the end of this month – if indeed they corresponded with the months on Earth – it would be Mutation Day. The day that not only marked the forming of the family he had left behind, but was the most definable date which told his age. He’d be twenty this year. Twenty years old, and he’d be away from his family, unable to celebrate the milestone with those he cared for the most.

There had never been a Mutation Day where the brothers weren’t together. And not only wouldn’t Leo be there, Raphael wouldn’t be there either. It made Leonardo feel overwhelmingly guilty and sad that he’d left his younger brothers alone like this. Donnie and Mikey didn’t deserve all the heartache and suffering they were undoubtedly going through. It wasn’t fair to them, wasn’t fair to Sensei, but that’s just the way it was going to have to be. For the first time in their lives, the brothers would be spending Mutation Day separate. Two of them probably wondering if they’d ever see their elder siblings ever again.

Sighing as he stared down into his tea cup, April automatically put a hand on his shoulder. Looking up, he tried to give her a slight smile, knowing how much she worried about him, how much she’d been doing to help him keep his spirits up. It was the least he could do, especially after his behavior the last few weeks, taking the depression out on her. It didn’t matter that it hadn’t been consciously done.

“What you thinking about?” she asked gently.

Knowing she’d wrestle it out of him one way or the other, Leo admitted, “I was just thinking about Mutation Day. It’s…coming up.”

“That’s right,” she mused. And probably noticing his melancholy at the thought, she added playfully, “We’ll have to think of a good present to get you.”

That caused the turtle to snort. “I think laying these eggs will be present enough this year…or birthing them…whatever I’m gunna end up doing here.”

“Yeah, but they won’t be ready for Mutation Day,” April waved off, before her eyes brightened. “Actually, these little guys are due closer to the end of November, aren’t they? Maybe they’ll get lucky and’ll be born on _my_ birthday.”

Leo stared at his friend for a moment in surprise. “That’s right, isn’t it? I…hadn’t made that connection before.”

“Yup!” the human beamed. “These little one’s can be _my_ birthday gift this year. I’ll just have to think of something else for you.”

Shaking his head, unable to stop the genuine smile that tugged at his lips, Leo took April’s hand in his. “You’re a good friend, April.” He knew he told her that often, but it was true. To solidify his sincerity, he gave the back of her hand a quick kiss. “I’ll see if I can’t hold the kids off until November twenty-eighth.”

“Perfect,” April grinned. “I’ve always wanted to share my birthday with someone. Three little someones makes it better.”

They fell into light, meaningless conversation about birthday gifts, when something out in the distance caught their eye. At first Leonardo assumed it was merely one of those _abumi-guchi_ creatures or one of the other strange things that sometimes wandered around the edge of the forest. But as it drew closer, came out of the shadow of the boughs, the turtle found himself straightening up a bit.

“Is that…Usagi?” April asked, leaning forward and squinting, as if that would help her see over the greater distance.

“I think it is…What’s he doing here?”

The two friends waited where they were seated, waiting for the rabbit to draw closer. Leo knew it would probably be more polite to stand and greet the samurai while on his feet, but with how big he’d gotten and how much effort it actually took to get up, he decided he could be excused for the lapse of politeness. There were very few perks to actually being pregnant, but not being expected to get up or work was one of them.

When the rabbit finally took notice of the two seated figures, his entire frame seemed to perk up, and he quickened his steps to reach them. Leonardo found himself smiling, the sudden appearance of the rabbit brightening his mood. When the samurai had left last time, he’d honestly not expected to ever see him again. He had liked Usagi, they had a lot in common, or at least their attitudes were similar, complimenting each other. And he was interesting to talk to about tactics as well as aspects of traditional Japanese culture – not that Usagi necessarily realized it was ‘traditional’ per se.

Coming to a stop before the aliens, the rabbit bowed low in greeting. “Leonardo-san. April-san. _Konnichiwa_.”

“ _Konnichiwa_ ,” the Americans greeted back.

“It’s nice to see you again,” Leonardo added. “What brings you back here so soon?”

The ronin was filthy, clothes flecked with mud and what appeared to be grass stains, but thankfully there was no blood. The journey back to the home of the Ancient One had obviously been hard, but despite how tired he must be, Usagi was smiling. While not one to overtly show emotion, it was clear he was glad to be back.

“I wish I could truthfully say it was merely to visit, but I’m afraid I’ve come on business from the Shogun,” the samurai replied.

An unwanted thrill of fear and distrust flared through Leo as he stared up at the rabbit, wishing he was on his feet. He suddenly felt as though he were at a severe disadvantage, and with how emotional he was lately, he knew it wouldn’t bode well for anyone at the moment. Instead, putting on a small smile so as not to show his unease, Leo shot April a look, and the human stood, helping him to his feet as well. Usagi made a move to also assist, but the turtle made sure to push himself so that he was up before the rabbit could touch him.

“The Shogun?” Leonardo asked, tone light and unassuming. “Sounds important. What could bring you here that has anything to do with the Shogun?”

Surely Usagi hadn’t told anyone about them? If anyone on this planet knew of an alien male turtle that could become impregnated, who spent his time with a ‘yokai’ he wasn’t sure what the best course of action would be. While he had faith that the Ancient One could help them, how much could she truly use her power on this planet? And honestly, how long had he really expected that they could stay hidden? Forever? Doubtful. Even if the Terrans never found the desire to leave this place, something told the ninja his offspring wouldn’t be quite so content to stay hidden away forever. Not if they were anything like their parents.

But coming from his spiraling thoughts, the turtle waited patiently for the rabbit to say his piece. If this ended in betrayal, Leonardo was prepared to do whatever it took to protect himself and his family. No matter the cost.

Appearing almost sheepish, the samurai gave the pair a rather self-depreciating sigh. “I’m afraid I must ask you for your help, Leonardo-san,” the rabbit began, and Leo could feel tension creeping into his shoulders. “Your suggestion about what kind of spy to place within Lord Hebi’s men has thus far been a complete success.”

Blinking, surprised by the unexpected topic, the ninja found himself nodding. “Oh. I see. I’m glad to hear it.”

The way the ronin’s dark eyes lit with a subtle amusement relaxed Leo a bit. If Usagi were up to something nefarious, he’d hardly allow himself to lapse in control. So taking a quiet breath, the turtle waited for the other to continue.

“Yes, thank you,” he bowed his head. “And various other ideas you’d had have also gone over very well. And I admit, I have come to ask if you had anymore assaults plans or suggestions?” Turning and unslinging his pack from his back, the ronin set it done on the ground between them. “I admit I’ve even brought maps if you had any wisdom to help plan future battles?”

Sharing a quick glance at April, Leo found himself a bit stunned. He hadn’t imagined that Usagi would actually come here for strategic advice. Their previous talks had been, to Leonardo at least, simply topics of conversation between two beings that didn’t really know one another. It had been more of a mental exercise for Leo since he’d been ‘out of the field’ for several months, and for the first time in probably too long, he hadn’t exactly had to worry about planning attacks.

But as much as that aspect of their current situation had been a rather large relief, it had been nice to talk to someone of like mind, coming up with mock scenarios of battles. The fact that Usagi had not only implemented some of those ideas already, but had found them valuable enough to return to ask for more, left the turtle feeling oddly flattered, if a little wary. No one had ever truly sought out his advice on such matters. His brothers never had because they were forced to listen to him all the time and so were never exactly eager to seek him out so he could talk at them more for any given reason. And Sensei wasn’t prone to praising any plans he’d ever had, simply because the elder ninja wanted to impart upon his son that every plan had its faults, and nothing was necessarily the ‘right’ way to execute said plan. Strange how it took a complete stranger to see and acknowledge the value of Leo’s ideas.

“I suppose I could speak with you, see what you’ve got planed,” the turtle nodded slowly, giving the human another glance.

“Would you like tea?” April asked, which seemed to surprise Usagi as he stared at the girl with wide eyes. Trying to hide her smirk, April gestured towards the house, “Please, come in?”

Recovering himself as best as he could, the samurai nodded, before following the others into the house. Leo was glad that the rabbit didn’t seem to be in a hurry because for once Leonardo actually felt like the old stereotypical slow-poke turtle. His stomach stuck out much farther than his shell now, making moving uncomfortable with the need for measured steps. He lost his balance a lot now, too, and the horrible thought of suddenly pitching forward and damaging the eggs often left him feeling sick. It was also getting to the point where he could hardly walk anywhere without either the Ancient One or April helping. He was almost constantly out of breath and the simple act of walking from one end of the house to the other left him panting.

April guided him towards the sitting room, and gently helped Leonardo ease himself down onto the couch, gesturing for Usagi to take a seat as well. It was a little embarrassing to Leo that anyone had to see him in such a state. The proud ninja leader reduced to a fat, wheezing mess, but he refused to show his embarrassment. After all, it’s not like he could help it, and he wouldn’t be like this forever. Soon enough the eggs would come, and then soon enough Leo could get back into shape.

When he calmed his breathing, shifting until he was comfortable, one of the eggs feeling like it was pressing against a lung, the turtle caught Usagi watching him. Another flash of embarrassment shot through him, but he only smiled at the rabbit. “It’s not easy carrying so many eggs,” he quipped, hoping his tone was light and didn’t betray his self-consciousness.

Blinking rapidly, ducking his head in embarrassment, Usagi shook his head. “Please forgive me, I didn’t mean to stare.”

While a part of Leo wanted to be frustrated and annoyed with the rabbit, he also knew it wasn’t really Usagi’s fault. It was natural to stop and stare when something was just outside of the norm, and Leonardo had certainly gotten a lot bigger since last the samurai had seen him. Had their positions been reversed, Leo knew he’d probably be staring a bit too much as well.

“It’s all right,” he waved off, deciding it wasn’t worth feeling offended over. “I know I’ve changed since last you were here.”

Usagi didn’t verbally respond but nodded slightly. “If I may?” he began tentatively. “When are you due, Leonardo-san?”

A rueful smile slipped onto the turtle’s lips. He knew he looked large enough to burst at any given second, but sadly, he still had quite a bit of time. These last weeks would undoubtedly stretch on into eternity. “Not until sometime towards the end of November, we think,” he responded, staring down at his plastron, and petting the eggs held within. His smile warmed at the thought of the little ones he’d soon get to meet. Hopefully they would come to like him, and he could care for them the way they needed to be, the way they deserved.

“I see,” the rabbit startled Leo from his musings, before he offered a smile. “I am sure you cannot wait for their arrival.”

That had the ninja laughing. At least as much as he was able. “You have no idea,” he chuckled, still rubbing his hand over his plastron. “It will be nice to be able to breathe again.”

Amusement and understanding flickered over the rabbit’s face. “I am sure. My sisters had similar difficulties when they carried. Especially the first litters.” The soft smile that came across the ronin’s face slowly decayed into a bitter grimace, the samurai staring down at his clasped hands.

Leonardo found himself instantly interested in the snippet of personal information but knew better than to press. Especially after such a reaction that the memory alone conjured. The curiosity, however, continued to burn in his mind. Treading lightly, hoping he would not make the situation worse, the turtle asked carefully, “Did they know any tricks on how to make this easier?” he asked, a hopeful note in his tone.

“No, not really,” Usagi answered after a time, the smile returning, but still holding a bittersweetness. “From what little I learned and was told, this is simply a part of pregnancy to be endured.”

The younger male nodded and let it be at that. Clearly something had happened between the samurai and his sisters, but Leonardo wasn’t cruel enough to press when it was obviously a sore topic. Instead, he hummed, pretending not to notice the sudden tension in the air as the rabbit worked through darker memories. Thankfully April returned with tea and water, eyeing the pair as if she knew something had happened, but decided to keep quiet.

“Tea?” she asked Usagi, who nodded, and eyed the human.

“Your speech has greatly improved, April-san,” he complimented.

“Thank you,” she smiled, obviously proud of her accomplishment. As she handed Leo water, he gave her a quick wink. It brightened the human’s entire visage. “It has not been easy.”

“New languages rarely are,” the samurai acknowledged. After they all settled in more comfortably, eventually Usagi couldn’t help but ask, “Where is the Ancient One? Is she well?”

“Perfectly,” Leonardo replied. “But she went out hunting today.” At the rabbit’s incredulous look, the ninja could only shrug. “She’s proven to be quite good at it.”

The look on the rabbit’s face told the aliens all they needed to know about his thoughts on the matter. “That is…unexpected,” Usagi admitted quietly, taking a sip of tea.

“Perhaps,” the turtle nodded. “Now. You had something you wished to discuss with me?”

And with an obviously relieved nod that ended the attempt at small take, Usagi dug around in his pack before pulling out several maps and scooting closer to the ninja. April, too, moved closer so that she knew what was going on.

“This is the last location Gennosuke-san – our spy,” he clarified, “last made contact with us. It is also where the Shogun wishes to strike if at all possible.”

Soon enough, the afternoon was filled with plotting and strategy. Not exactly how Leonardo envisioned his day going, but he was relieved for the distraction all the same. Making up mock battles was an excellent way to keep his mind distracted from all the worries and sorrows. Kept his mind off of all the many failures and fears.

And later that evening, after a wonderful meal provided by the Ancient One, and after talking late into the evening, as Leonardo went to bed that night, it was the first time in a long time he was able to fall asleep without his demons getting the better of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mutation Day: September 29  
> April’s Birthday: November 28


	28. Backstories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leonardo finds out a little more about Lord Hebi and Usagi, while admitting a little more of his own past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this chapter sucks. I literally rewrote the damn thing about four times, and it's still not quite what I wanted. But it is what it is because we're getting very close to the birth and after the birth, I promise a lot more action will be happening.

Lord Hebi.

The name plagued Leonardo almost as soon as Usagi started to explain current events and what had been happening out in the world since he’d left the home of the Ancient One. And now that he was speaking, the ninja realized that the name of the current radical _daimyo_ was shared with the hero from the story the Ancient One had told them. Was it a coincidence? It could very well be that this Lord Hebi named himself after the hero from the old tale. It would unconsciously add to his credibility in a small way to those who remembered the story. From how the Ancient One spoke, there was no way that this _daimyo_ was the champion of peace and unity from the old tale.

Right?

Sitting and listening to his friend speak, however, Leonardo decided that he would have to have another talk with his new sensei. She had intentionally not mentioned the story again, nor technically had she finished it. There was something she was keeping from them. That the young turtle knew.

But for the remainder of the afternoon, Leo kept his peace and did his best to think of strategies to help the samurai. Unlike last time, the rabbit seemed more willing to give specific details about his side’s current situation. He was under orders to ‘seek wisdom,’ which basically translated to ‘he was allowed to give classified information’ now to Leonardo. It was sort of flattering. Because Leo’d managed to earn the respect of Usagi and his faction by himself, without even April, and without having to truly _prove_ himself. He’d been accepted because of his wit, not his physical skill. It was a wholly different kind of compliment, one that made Leonardo wonder if this was how Donnie felt after creating something amazing or from simply having all the answers.

For several hours they sat and talked – snacking in Leo’s case – until the Ancient One returned from her hunting. She didn’t seem surprised by Usagi’s sudden return, but demanded April help her prepare the animals she’d caught. It was the human’s absolute _least_ favorite chore – she was a bit squeamish when skinning and gutting anything – but then, she didn’t complain. Much. At least while the Ancient One was within a hundred feet or so. They’d come to learn how excellent the old woman’s hearing was.

The distraction caused a lull in serious discussion, and Leonardo saw the opportunity to get some answers. “Usagi-san,” he began carefully. “This Lord Hebi…what of his past? Who is he?”

That had the rabbit blinking in surprise as he stared at the ninja. After a moment, he looked away with the shake of his head. “Forgive me. I was not expecting such a question,” he confessed. “But perhaps you are too young to know?” he muttered, more to himself than to the turtle.

“As I’ve said before,” Leo tried to sooth, not wanting the ronin overly suspicious. “I’m from far away. I’m not quite as acquainted with mattered in this region.”

“Which, I confess, seems impossible,” Usagi’s usual grim demeanor softened. “Although I suppose I should be glad war does not flourish everywhere.”

Shifting to get into a more comfortable position, Leo stared at the rabbit expectantly, hoping the other would get the hint.

“There are not many that still remember Lord Hebi from his youth,” Usagi began. “He is, at least by mammalian standards, very old. From what others know of him, he’d once been a great leader, a revolutionary of sorts. He was said to have fought to bring the many races together.”

Imaged from the Ancient One’s story flashed through the ninja’s mind. This had to be the same person. As impossible as it seemed, the hero and the _daimyo_ were one and the same. And with a sinking feeling in his gut, Leonardo realized that that brave hero from the old legend did not have a very pleasant end. Perhaps that’s why the Ancient One said no more, because there _was_ no true ending to Hebi’s story. Not yet, anyway.

“Any interest he had in united the races was only so he could control them easily once they were under his oppression,” the rabbit spat, bitterness seeping into his tone. “He is wholly despicable. He employs the dishonorable, _ninja_ , to burn down and murder entire villages, to harass and assassinate other lords or other persons of influence that do not serve him.”

The anger and acrimony was understandable after all the horrors Leonardo had heard about this war. But it made him wary. This was only one side of the story, after all. Despite what the evidence was pointing towards, Leo knew well enough that there was likely more to this than a madman seeking power. Something had happened to push a man who was once praised as a hero into becoming the villain.

But for now, the turtle decided to leave it be. Besides learning a bit more about Lord Hebi, he also unexpectedly gleaned the information that Usagi-san apparently held no good feelings for ninja or, if he was reading the ronin correctly, any that practiced the discipline. It made him wonder what the rabbit would think if he learned that both Leonardo and April were trained, the turtle being a ninja leader and once in line to become clan leader.

Such confessions, however, could wait until some other time – if ever. Instead, the young turtle once again found himself wondering if getting close to the samurai was wise. Certainly he liked the rabbit, but if Usagi hated ninja, if he was so entrenched in his hatred of those he perceived as being on Lord Hebi’s ‘side,’ that he might then perceive Leonardo as a threat, the turtle knew he couldn’t afford to have the rabbit close. This could yet be another rift forming between himself and the samurai he had begun to think of as a friend.

**oOoOoOo**

Being back in the home of the Ancient One was just as strange and surreal as it had been the first time. The few magical items that had entranced him were still there, new ones discovered all the time, and that sense of something powerful still wafted lightly in the air. It made Usagi wonder, yet again, about the old _kame_ and her companions, but he had never felt threatened here. In fact, he felt very calm, unnaturally so. Such phenomenon should have put the rabbit on edge, but it didn’t. He hoped that it was a good sign and would not come back to haunt him later.

As Usagi sat with the Leonardo-san one late morning drinking tea while the boy continued to eat his breakfast, not for the first time the ronin began to wonder at the creature that was Hamato Leonardo. It was strange how knowledgeable the boy was on the topic of war, and it remained unclear to the samurai what the turtle had been before the samurai found him and was taken in by the Ancient One. His accent was just slightly off, meaning he wasn’t from around these parts as he’d mentioned before, but his manners were poised and measured. If Usagi hadn’t known better, he might’ve mistaken the turtle for being a noble of some sort. But there had been no rumor of missing nobles, and there was also the fact that he’d never heard of a _kame_ lord.

But it wasn’t a complete impossibility. After all, for all anyone knew of the secretive species that was the _kame_ who dwelled beside the sea and rarely interacted with those farther inland, perhaps they did have their own system of a governing class. It was then quite possible for Leonardo-san to have belonged to such nobility, before obviously being ousted for one reason or other.

He still had no proof that any of this was true, of course, but it made a lot of sense.

The last several days had been a mixture of what essentially amounted to war meetings. During that time, Usagi had noticed that Leonardo-san became a bit…distant. Not that the ronin could claim to truly know the boy, only having met him several months ago, but there was something off about him now. His eyes often took on a rather far off expression, as if lost in memory. Sometimes, if the boy was left alone for long enough, it appeared that he would crumple in on himself, a deep despair that struck to the bone arresting his features.

It shouldn’t be that surprising, actually, considering the boy’s condition. After all, had Leonardo-san even known he was capable of bearing children? Had this all been a surprise to him? Why was he not among his own people? What had happened to them? Where was his lover? Or had Leonardo-san been raped?

The idea of this boy falling into such dark circumstances left Usagi feeling ill. He knew all too well what happened to the vulnerable if evil men were given the chance to rise. He’d seen firsthand the effects such attacks rot upon the victims, how, if left alone without help, how desperate a person could become. And he’d seen what lengths they were willing to take in order to make the pain go away.

Glancing down at the notes of ideas Leonardo-san had helped him come up with so far, the samurai wondered if he should press anymore today. Already he had more than enough ideas to bring back to the Shogun, and the boy didn’t seem all that focused anymore. There was something clearly bothering the child today, and while he knew that it was none of his business or his place to question the _kame_ , Usagi felt obligated to help if he could. To at least see if he could alleviate some of his suffering.

While Leonardo-san had only ever vaguely hinted at bits of his life before they had been abruptly introduced to each other, perhaps he would open up to Usagi now? While not necessarily the most transparent individual himself, the rabbit did know when others needed to unburden themselves. Perhaps a talk would help the boy work through his pain? All Usagi could do was offer, yet he was at a loss as to how to bring up such a delicate subject.

Thinking back to the most traumatic time of his own life, he tried to remember the words the Shogun had spoken to him that had been such a tremendous comfort and motivation. It was quite possible that Leonardo-san had suffered the same kind of tragedy he had, and if so, Usagi truly pitied him, knew he had to do something for the boy.

Weighing his words carefully, the samurai decided on something relatively gentle to begin. “Thank you again for your assistance, Leonardo-san,” he watched the turtle carefully as he blinked out of his reserve.

“You’re welcome,” the boy nodded, expression masked in that deceivingly peaceful expression.

Despite the turtle being excellent at hiding his feelings, the rabbit knew the signs. “You are quite talented with strategy,” he complimented sincerely. “But I wonder, where did you learn such things?”

The turtle offered a quiet smile, one that was meant to appease. “I had good teachers, remember?”

Remember a past conversation, Usagi nodded, obliged to play along. “Ah. That’s right. I remember now. Forgive me, but you never did tell me about them, or why you were trained in such subjects?”

There it was. The turtle stiffened. Not alarmingly, but enough to be noticeable. It was a subject clearly avoided for a reason. But despite seeing the slight panic, Usagi decided to push. It would be more beneficial to the boy in the long run if he spoke instead of leaving his negative feelings to fester.

“Leonardo-san,” Usagi continued, voice soft so as not to alarm the other unnecessarily. “I see that you are unhappy, that you are hurting.” The turtle’s blue eyes became almost cold as he stared at the other, but he did not interrupt. “Perhaps it is not my place, but I wish to help you.” Deciding to be bold, he reached out and placed what he hoped would be seen as a comforting hand on the boy’s shoulder. “Would it not be best to talk about what has happened to you?”

The calm, pleasant demeanor had turned into a steely mask on the turtle’s face. It was obvious that Usagi had hit a nerve, but he knew he had to keep going. This was all for Leonardo-san’s benefit in the end.

When the turtle would not even look at him, the samurai decided on a different approach. “I lost my family when I was young.” Despite having come to terms with the event and having made peace with the losses, it still burning in Usagi’s heart, still throbbed painfully. When Leonardo-san turned to him, expression crumpling, the ronin decided to continue. “Our village was attacked. To this day I do not know the true reason. I was away training under a samurai at the time. When the news reached me…by the time I got there…it was too late.”

Managing to glance up, Usagi found the turtle with tears in his eyes. He looked distressed. So much so in fact, that the rabbit became alarmed, wondering if he should have said anything at all. But when the boy reached out and took his hand, using the other to wipe at the tears, he gave a shaky sigh.

“I-I’m sorry to h-hear that. It m-must have been t-terrible.” His voice was whisper soft.

Turning his paw over and squeezing the turtle’s hand, the samurai offered what smile he could. “It was nearly fifteen years ago now. I’ve had time to make peace with what happened.” There was no reason, he decided, to say anymore right now. The child did not need to hear the fate of Usagi’s younger sister. “And that is why I wish to help you, Leonardo-san,” he continued. “Perhaps I am wrong, but you have suffered a great deal as well. There is no need for you to hold on to this pain. At least not alone.”

It appeared to take the turtle several tries before he pulled his hand away with a sighed. “I didn’t… I mean, my family wasn’t… wasn’t killed. But I’ll…I’ll never be able to see them again,” he whispered.

Relieved that the boy was at least speaking, but also sensing the turmoil within him, Usagi tried to be as compassionate and gentle as possible. “It is because of the eggs?” he asked softly.

Now the turtle began sobbing. There was no sound, but the strong shoulder shook horribly, tears pouring from his eyes. It was terrible to watch, to witness such agony, but at the same time, Usagi knew it was needed. Hopefully this would help cleanse the boy – was another step towards his recovery over what happened.

While aware that they were not all that close, but not wishing to make the boy feel any more alone than he already must have felt, Usagi scooted closer to the turtle. And after a moment of indecision, he reached out to Leonardo-san. It was a testament to how wretched the boy felt that he merely leaned into the rabbit without hesitation, hands over his mouth as he tried to stifle any sound that threated to escape.

It was clear to Usagi that whatever happened, the fact that he was carrying children was directly linked to it. At one time Leonardo-san had admitted he’d left before his teachers had found out. Had he meant that he’d gone before _anyone_ found out? He still could not say for certain. Hopefully after the turtle calmed, an explanation would be forthcoming.

It took quite some time before Leonardo-san was able to get ahold of himself. But once he wasn’t crying quite so hard, the turtle was quick to sit up, his face dark, but whether that was from crying so hard or from embarrassment, the rabbit couldn’t say. Scrubbing at his eyes, sniffling, the boy wouldn’t meet Usagi’s eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured.

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” the samurai denied.

Leonardo-san was quiet for a moment, before sighing shakily. “It’s just…” The turtle paused, still gathering himself, before he sighed, running a hand over his face. “I left before anyone found out.”

Willing himself to be patient, Usagi remained still, allowing the turtle to work through his turmoil. “I am sorry. They would not have been understanding?” Usagi asked gently.

A bark of laughter escaped the turtle. “I don’t know,” the boy’s voice wobbled. “Th-They would’ve been…shocked. At least.”

Usagi nodded as more questioned burned in the samurai’s heart, wishing to know everything. Leonardo-san was such a mystery. The more questions he answered, the more questions they created. It became nearly unbearable not to ask, but still hesitant to push too far, Usagi waited, hoping the boy would continue to explain. Only when it became apparent the turtle would not speak did the samurai fall into temptation. “Leonardo-san, how… did you end up in the woods that night?”

Red-rimmed eyes turned towards the rabbit, a heavy bitterness overtaking the usually smooth features. “We were attacked.”

That much Usagi had guessed, but nodding, hoping to encourage, he asked, “When you were leaving your clan?”

There was a pause. “ _Hai_.”

He was shutting down. When the boy refused to look back at him, the rabbit realized perhaps he had pressed too hard today. Best to leave the matter be. For now. There were still many questions lingering, like, had Leonardo-san been attacked by others of the clan that might have found out before his family? Or had he been unlucky enough to have been caught up by one of the raiding parties of Lord Hebi? How had Leonardo-san found a creature such as April-san? Were there _more_ of her kind? More _yokai_ lurking in the woods? But the biggest question of all: Who was Leonardo-san’s lover? And did that lover know about the eggs he’d sired or had Leonardo-san fled before telling him, too?

But these were questions for another time.

Reaching out and returning a paw on the younger man’s shoulder, Usagi hoped he could convey his sympathies and support without the need of words. Because the samurai wasn’t certain there was anything he could say that would cheer the boy and nothing he could say could make this situation better. Instead, the two sat quietly, each steeped in their own thoughts, even as the autumn sun continued to shine down upon them.


	29. Mutation Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April throws together a party for Mutation Day, and Leo prepares more for the arrival of the eggs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: EGGS!!!!

When the end of the month slowly rolled around, April could barely contain her excitement over the anniversary of another Mutation Day. Since Usagi’s arrival, Leo had more good days than bad, and even when he wasn’t feeling all that cheerful, he still managed to put up a fairly convincing front with their guest. It was nice to see, because pretending he was better than he was actually did usually end up brighten his mood some, which meant that the darkness was kept a little further away.

But besides putting on a front with Usagi, the rabbit’s presence meant that he kept the turtle distracted. And with Leo thoroughly engulfed in battle preparations and war strategies, that left April free to plan for Mutation Day. And she had some big ideas about what to do for her friend.

Of course she needed the Ancient One’s help. While April knew what she wanted to do, she had no idea as to how to go about doing it in this place. She was still learning what was edible and what wasn’t on this planet, and growing up in New York City meant that she was far more comfortable buying things than knowing and learning how to make them. So that’s where she conscripted the Ancient One’s help. And the first thing she needed to learn from the old woman was how to make clothes.

“I was wondering when one of you would ask!” the old turtle rolled her eyes. “ _Aiya_ , you’ve been here how long and neither one of you has thought as to how you would clothe those little ones?” she shook her head in disgust.

Properly admonished, the Ancient One waved the girl into her room. April felt a little uncomfortable being there, but grinned as she watched the old turtle pull out a small trunk. Inside was a small collection of tiny outfits that had the human gushing. “Look how cute!” she cooed, stepping forward to pull out an outfit. It looked similar to a ‘onesie’ back on Earth. It was oddly shaped, at least compared to clothes for human infants on Earth, but she supposed it had to be to accommodate tiny shells.

Holding one up against her chest, a sudden ache in her heart had April wishing the little ones were here right _now_. The desire to play dress up was nearly overwhelming. Had they been on Earth, there would have been absolutely _nothing_ that could have stop her from buying baby clothes and other little effects. It was just too adorable.

“Will they be this tiny?” she couldn’t help but wonder out loud. Because these clothes looked like they belonged on dolls, not living, breathing beings.

“Yes,” the old woman replied, smiling softly as she stared down at her creations as well. “Leo-chan might _look_ big, but those little ones certainly are not.”

April couldn’t stop herself from giggling, trying to imagine what the children would look like. It was pretty hard to imagine. Especially since she had no frame of reference. By the time she’d met the guys, they were all teenagers, well on their way to their adult heights and well-muscled. There weren’t too many pictures of them when they were young, the youngest she’d seen was when the boy were around twelve when Donnie had first found a camera.

“I want to make Leo clothes for them.” Blue eyes stared up pleadingly at the old turtle. “Will you teach me?”

And with only an answering grin from the old woman, the new lessons began. While Leo and Usagi played generals, April began learning how to sow. Luckily the Ancient One had quite a bit of fabric tucked away and would critically watch April as she worked. The first try was pretty abysmal, the human could admit that, but after the failed attempt, it got a little easier. And thankfully the Ancient One was there if she screwed up too much to stop her or help correct the mistakes.

When September twenty-ninth rolled around, everything was ready. Allowing Leo to sleep in that day, April was up early, determined to make breakfast by herself, and make it _perfect_. When Usagi made his appearance not long after she’d begun, he looked pretty confused as to her manic jumping around here and there and everywhere, but didn’t stop her. While there weren’t many of the ingredients that she was used to working with from home, there were enough to make a comparable American-like breakfast. Fried eggs, some sort of meat that was basically sausage, and lots of fruits. By the time she was done, the human was rather pleased with herself.

Setting the table, even going as far as to put some wild flowers in the center, the kunoichi was satisfied with her work. Warning Usagi not to eat anything yet, April rushed off to her room to grab the presents. She’d attempted to wrap them, having to use silk and ribbons in lieu of wrapping paper, but she thought this looked prettier than ordinary paper. Coming back out, she found Usagi still standing in the same place by the table, completely confused over the feast, while the Ancient One brought out a bread that looked more like some kind of cake. The old turtle even set out her own presents beside April’s.

“Perfect,” April nodded in approval after everything was settled. “He’s going to love this.”

Bewildered enough by now to speak up, the rabbit stared at the females, completely lost. “May I ask what this is all about?”

“It’s _Mutation Day_ ,” April chirped, only to realize she didn’t know how to say that in Japanese.

But Usagi didn’t press, seeming to understand that this must be some foreign holiday. “I see,” he nodded slowly. “And this… _Mutation Day_ …what is it?”

“It’s a special day for Leonardo,” April explained. “Like a _Birthday_.”

“… _Birth…day…_ ” the samurai frowned.

Realizing that celebrating birthdays was more of a modern concept, the human floundered for a way to explain herself in a way that might even remotely make sense to the samurai. “It’s the celebration of the day that Leonardo entered into a family with his brothers and father. It’s very meaningful to him.”

That had the rabbit nodding in thought. “I see.” There was curiosity in his brown eyes, but he didn’t press further.

Turning to go to Leo’s room, April made sure not to be too loud in all of her excitement. The last thing she wanted to do was scare the shell off the poor guy. “Leeeeeeeeeooooo,” she called softly as she crept close to the futon.

The turtle, from what she could see, was out cold. It was actually nice to see considering how poorly he usually slept. Making the best of the bad situation, hopefully the sheer exhaustion had kept the ninja from dreaming throughout the night. Poor thing needed all the rest he could get.

Hating to wake him, but too excited to let him be, April placed a careful hand on his shoulder, ready to jump back if ninja reflexes kicked in. “Leo,” she cooed. “Time to wake up.”

The turtle groaned as he turned his head away from her. It looked like he even tried to roll over, but couldn’t quite manage, so he gave up with a huff. While she knew he wouldn’t appreciate it, it had April giggling. He wasn’t really listening to her anyway.

“Leo, wake up,” she shook him lightly.

“Why?” the turtle whined, but after a few more shakes, peeked open an eye. “What?” he muttered.

“Time to get up,” the human smiled. “Breakfast is ready.”

He frowned up at her for several seconds before blinking, becoming more awake. “Okay, okay,” he murmured, trying to sit up. Getting up with a shell was difficult under normal circumstances, while gravid it looked plain impossible.

Moving to help, April was quick to gently push the turtle upright before hauling him to his feet. He was still a little out of it as he pulled on the new _kimono_ the Ancient One had given him not long ago after outgrowing the last, before shuffling towards the _shoji_. “What’s that smell?” he asked, eyes heavy.

“Does it smell bad?” April asked, suddenly nervous. She’d been so excited, she’d forgotten how sensitive his stomach could be.

“Smells good,” he countered, rubbing at his eyes.

When the two friends came out to the table, the Ancient One and Usagi were already sitting, leaving the head of the table for Leo. Seeing the miniature feast and the gifts had the young turtle stopping up short. “ _Happy_ _Mutation Day_!” April cheered.

Taking cue, the Ancient One and Usagi also attempted to mimic the English, “ _Happy Mutation Day._ ”

Turning towards the human, dark blue eyes were already misty. “Wow,” he murmured in English. “You…you didn’t have to, April.”

“I wanted to,” she smiled, before pushing him towards his seat. “Now,” she clapped her hands in delight. “Sit! Eat! Afterwards, you’ve got presents.”

“I see that,” Leo murmured as he carefully walked around the table and sat.

It was nice to see Leonardo feeling well enough to fill his plate and actually enjoy the spread. And despite obviously thinking the custom was strange, Usagi and the Ancient One also enjoyed the nice meal. The thought of singing ‘Happy Birthday’ to Leo occurred to April, but Mutation Day wasn’t quite the same as a normal birthday, and the human decided to spare both her friend and the others her terrible singing.

Once everyone had had their fill, April was quick to clear away the plates before handing Leonardo the gifts she’d made. “Happy Mutation Day, Leo,” she proclaimed once more, switching to English. “Guess you’re not a teenager anymore.”

The turtle stared at her for several seconds before grimacing. “I…guess not.”

“Open your presents,” she pushed them towards the ninja, hoping to distract him from the sudden melancholy the realization must have triggered.

Happily, however, when Leo unwrapped the silk and unfolded the little clothes, a surprised laugh escaped him, chasing away the gloom. He was smiling quietly as he inspected the gifts. “These are adorable,” he said honestly. “Where did you –?”

“I made them,” April proclaimed proudly, thrilled Leo liked them and hadn’t noticed some of the stitching mess ups yet. These had been her best attempts, after all. “The Ancient One taught me. There’s a few blankets in there, too.”

The Ancient One shot the girl a smile, nodding with pride at her student’s hard work. Usagi actually leaned in closer to look, apparently intrigued by her efforts. “They are very nice,” the samurai complimented.

“Thank you. Do you like them, Leo?” she couldn’t help but ask nervously as her friend had yet to say much. “I tried to keep the colors neutral no matter if they’re boys or girls.”

“They’re…they’re really great, April,” the turtle repeated, voice a little thick with emotion. “Thank you. I mean it.”

Leaning over to give the human a hug, Leo sat back and continued to study the tiny clothes, smile watery.

Then the Ancient One’s gifts were presented, it was obvious they were of much better quality. They were certainly more elaborate than April’s meager efforts, but the old woman had been working on the children’s clothes for a while. Besides the clothes April had seen before, there were more tiny little blankets, towels, and quite a few things for Leo to wear as well. But unlike the _kimonos_ he’d been given, all the different shades of blue, these were all black, embroidered with intricate patterns. Compared to April’s humble attempts, the Ancient One’s clothes looked like they belonged to royalty.

But Leo didn’t seem to notice, or much care if he did. Instead, he smiled and thanked them all, a little overwhelmed to really be taking everything in. But he seemed happy. He really did, which was a significant change to how he’d been for so long now. And to make things better, understanding that gift-giving was a part of Mutation Day, Usagi promised to take Leonardo out for a walk in the woods to get out of house, postponing anymore talk of war plans for the day.

And so it ended up being a wonderful day. Leonardo was more relaxed than April had seen him in too long, and he was content. He managed not to cry – that she’d seen – but it was obviously an emotional day. And by that night, right before they all went to bed, Leonardo was sure to pull April into a fierce hug.

“Thanks for today,” he murmured in her hair. “You really are the best friend anyone could ever have.”

Squeezing back, April felt her heart soar. “Sleep tight, Leo.”

**oOoOoOo**

As fast as the samurai had arrived, soon he was departing again. Usagi had stayed a few weeks, but Leonardo found himself not wanting the rabbit to go. Despite the business-like visit, there had been many moments shared of true companionship between them. Leo sincerely enjoyed Usagi’s quiet, steady company. He was easy to talk to, even about the more difficult, personal things the turtle had been trying to keep locked away. Usagi’s company would be genuinely missed.

“Are you certain you do not need anything?” Usagi asked as he re-slung his pack over his back. “I would be happy to bring whatever you require from town.”

It wasn’t the first time he’d offered, but as always, the Ancient One refused. “I have all I need,” she sniffed, as if offended.

While not wishing to get into any kind of debate, the rabbit remained rather unconvinced. Instead, he turned towards the younger beings. “Is there anything either of _you_ require?”

“No, thank you, Usagi-san,” Leo shook his head, even as the Ancient One scoffed beside him. “We’ll be fine.”

It didn’t escape the turtle’s notice how the samurai’s eyes flickered down to his ballooned plastron thoughtfully before nodding. “Then I shall be off. Thank you once again for your hospitality,” he gave an extra, lower bow to the Ancient One.

“Safe journey,” April smiled at the rabbit, even as she looped an arm with Leo.

“Yes, yes.” A rather unnerving twinkle entered the Ancient One’s eyes, a smirk slipping onto her lips. “Perhaps we shall see you again. At the end of November?”

Whipping his head around to stare at the older turtle, the ninja fought to keep from scowling. Was she really asking Usagi to come for the birth? She’d been rather distant, almost petulant with the rabbit all week and _now_ she was being friendly? Wasn’t inviting others to the birth of _his_ children supposed to be Leo’s decision anyway? While he had to admit he liked the rabbit a lot, the turtle wasn’t quite sure he wanted the samurai around to see him…like _that_. The thought of Usagi witnessing him at what would undoubtedly be his weakest was mortifying.

Forcing a smile, however, deciding he’d worry about his feelings on this subject later, Leo wanted to give the rabbit a good last impression. If something were to happen and he couldn’t see the rabbit for a long time, or if Usagi couldn’t show up by the time the triplets were born, he wanted the ronin to remember he was more than welcome to return to see him whenever he could visit.

As surprised by the offer as any of them, the samurai blinked almost stupidly before bowing low. “Yes. Thank you.” He turned and smiled warmly at Leonardo. “Farewell.”

And with that, the rabbit was once again on his way. And this time as he watched him go, Leonardo was left feeling more apprehensive than he had before.

Something was going to happen. He just knew it.

Usagi’s leaving marked the beginning of many restless days for Leonardo after. As weird as it sounded, the eggs seemed to be getting more restless – if that was even possible for eggs – but he swore he wasn’t just imagining it. There was more shifting, and Leo swore he could feel the vibrations of them kicking in their soft-shelled prisons. At one point, one of them kicked so hard, he was certain it had to feel like when a pregnant human women felt their own child. The kick had been rather shocking in its brutality, and after the slight pain and surprise wore off, the hormonal turtle burst into tears for no other reason than it made him think of Raphael.

And that was another annoying thing. Leonardo had thought he’d been hormonal in the beginning of this entire ordeal, but lately just about everything made him cry. Sometimes it was as simple as he was so exhausted that he just sat there in tears, other times the overwhelming sense of despair over his and April’s situation caught up to him and had him sobbing, unable to quit. It was harder some days than others to push reality aside and focus on the now, on the children, but Leonardo did his best.

On his not so good days, the ninja found himself thinking about Raphael. And not just about him being out in space. No, being quite the masochist, Leo continued to fantasize about what kind of father the younger turtle would make. To torture himself further, images frequently flashed through his mind of the big, bulky turtle with that soft smile he hated anyone seeing as he stared at the children. _His_ children. And sometimes Leonardo wondered if he would have been able to catch the hothead singing or humming to them if he believed no one was around to hear. Or if Raph would have fallen into the trap of babbling baby talk at them.

And that’s what hurt the most. _Knowing_ deep down that Raphael would make a wonderful father, but never knowing if the younger turtle would have loved these three little ones, or if he would have hated them because Leo was their bearer. Sometimes Leo wasn’t sure what would have been worse, watching Raph dote upon the triplets, but never wanting their carrier now that he had Mona Lisa, or having Raph outright reject all of them and hating his brother forever.

But besides crying his eyes out all the time, Leo also found himself never able to get comfortable. Sometimes it was nausea – which had returned, sadly – but most of the time it was just him unable to find a comfortable position to sit or lay down. The eggs felt like they’d migrated up to his lungs, pressing against them and his diaphragm so that it was nearly impossible to breathe. And forget about his back. If he wasn’t completely crippled after carrying these three, it would be a miracle. And his feet were constantly swollen. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that it would take forever to get back in shape. Mostly because he was anticipating feeling absolutely wretched even after the triplets were born…or hatched. Whatever.

At month six, the Ancient One was adamant about teaching Leonardo everything about childcare, preparing him for everything that was sure to come. Some of it was rather basic knowledge, like how to hold the infants, what to do about diapering. There were other things, however, which neither Terran would have ever considered, like paying special attention to baby’s neck so that it didn’t constantly hit the lip of their shell.

“So…like this?” April asked as she practice holding a doll the Ancient One had given them to training with.

“Better,” the old turtle nodded her approval, before glancing over at Leo, who was trying his best not to slump down too far into the couch. “Their necks will be among the first muscles to strengthen, but you must ensure they do not snap back and hit the shell or plastron.”

Leo stared down at the turtle doll the Ancient One had given him, petting the little shell absentmindedly. It was so strange, getting ready for the triplets’ arrival. Now that it was so close, that he wasn’t overtly worrying about trying to go home and accepting the fact that his children would be born here, it was starting to overwhelm the ninja a little. Pretty soon he wouldn’t be holding a baby doll, but a living, breathing little turtle that was just like him.

Watching the Ancient One and April as they spoke together, Leo’s mind wondered back to Sensei and how he had managed to raise four mutant turtles by himself. Had he worried about holding their necks correctly, too, or were the brothers old enough by then that it didn’t matter? Had Splinter been left completely unsure what to feed them, or had his experience with infant Miwa been enough to give him clues as of what to do for his sons? How had diapering worked for them?

Sighing as he cuddled the stuffed little turtle close, Leonardo closed his eyes, not noticing how he fell asleep before the lesson was over.


	30. Anticipated Meetings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're here!

The way to and from the home of the Ancient One was steadily becoming easier to navigate with each visit. All Usagi had to do was allow himself to become lost near Yamaguchi, wander around the mountains and woods for a while, and eventually he’d stumble upon the home filled with strange things and even stranger beings. And so traveling back to the palace did not take nearly as long as it had before, his steps more confident.

Traveling through the rain, the samurai found his way back late in the evening. He did not expect to be greeted by anyone save servants, but the Shogun was there, dark eyes grim as he approached. Upon arrival he was given only a blanket and hot tea before the Shogun swept him away into his office, to discuss everything that his ronin had discovered.

Once again, the older man was pleased with the plans Usagi returned with. So pleased, in fact, that he hadn’t hesitated to allow Usagi to return to the home of the Ancient One after having several plans yielded success several weeks later. The rabbit tried not to give away how excited he was over the prospect of being permitted to leave, to perhaps make it in time for the birth, but the primate seemed to know something was going on. Masaru-sama always appeared to know than perhaps he ought.

“I will allow you to return,” the Shogun agreed one evening after a successful raid of a village, which had led to the capture and flushing out of Lord Hebi’s men. “But I would request one thing in return, Usagi-san.”

Having expected some conditions, the rabbit was already nodding, more than pleased that he would be getting to return to the Ancient One’s home, hopefully he would be there for Leonardo-san in time. “ _Hai_. What would you have me do, Sama?”

The satisfied smile that formed on the macaque’s face should have been a warning, but was missed due to excitement. “Your wisdom giver – bring him here.”

Blinking, the ronin frowned slightly, unsure. “Sama?”

Staring out over the courtyard at the troops training, the Shogun turned his back to his samurai. “Your new friend has proven a valuable asset. I want him here.”

Dread slowly seeped into the rabbit’s stomach. While he would have liked nothing more than to bring Leonardo-san back with him into civilization, he knew it was far too risky. There would be too many questions asked of the boy, too many stares. And his scent…perhaps it would fade after the birth of the infants, but Usagi found it unlikely. Unless it was masked, eventually others would place it as belonging to one able to carry offspring.

No, it was far too risky to bring Leonardo-san here, not to mention April-san! They were better off where they were, safe and in the care of the Ancient One. They had already gone through so much. They did not need more trauma in their lives.

Reluctance showing, Usagi tried to reason with the Shogun. “Sama –”

“Our forces are weakening, Usagi-san.” The rabbit’s mouth snapped shut. “Our people dying. Lord Hebi is getting ever closer to achieving victory. Lord Noriyuki is in more danger now than he has ever been. We need all the advantages we can. Bring your friend here. If he has family, bring them all, I care not. Just as long as Lord Hebi’s forces _never_ get their coils around this strategist. We _need_ him, Usagi-san. I expect him here in a fortnight.”

As the Shogun turned to walk away, the samurai found himself distraught. “Please wait,” he called out, and once he saw the macaque staring at him questioningly, the rabbit pushed on. “What if he does not wish to come?”

“Convince him.”

“What if...what if he cannot leave as soon as you’d like? What if it would take longer than a fortnight?”

Turning back around fully to study the ronin pensively, the primate frowned. “We have little time to spare. But if you convince him, I will be lenient of time.”

And with that, the Shogun walked away, down to the troops. Usagi was left staring after him, feeling more conflicted than he had in many years. He had received his orders, and he was honor bound to do as the Shogun commanded. But Leonardo-san…

All he could do was his duty, both to the Shogun and to his friend. And with luck, it would all work out for the better.

**oOoOoOo**

He was getting restless. Couldn’t sit still, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat…at least not peacefully. The only way he could settle his nerves was to be doing something constantly.

There were very few instances in his life where Leonardo had ever felt this level of anxiousness, but for the life of him, he couldn’t figure out why he felt this way now. There was no upcoming battle, no invasion to worry about, and the family he still had were all safe and accounted for. It was just a strange sensation, there being no precursor as to why he was behaving like he was. And quite frankly, all the fretting and worrying over nothing was exhausting.

It was the end of November, his due date looming over the household, with the Ancient One and April watching him warily. They wouldn’t leave him alone, followed him everywhere, which only added to Leo’s anxiousness. At one point he’d told them to back off, which, of course, they responded by telling him to ‘shut up.’ So the heavily gravid turtle, despite being the size of a blue whale, puttered around the house, cleaning and straightening up whatever he could get away with, as two pairs of ever vigilant eyes trailed his every move. So he ignored them as he straighten up all the cluttered knickknacks, fluffed pillows, and helped out where he could.

These anxious day, however, did leave a lot of time to open a lot of the insincerity that he’d been attempting to repress. While talent at many things, Leonardo was always rudely reminded of the fact that he absolutely sucked at cooking. Other than making tea, and sometimes being able to boil rice ( _sometimes_ ), the best he could do was make a sandwich. And while one could survive on such terrible cooking skills for a while, it showed Leonardo how he couldn’t exactly provide for his children. There _was_ no sandwich meat on this planet! There were no real stores either, and quite frankly, living solely on rice and tea was unhealthy.

He was utterly unprepared for taking care of infants in every other aspect as well. What did he know of babies? He’d never held one except for Miwa once when they time traveled, he’d never actually changed any diapers, and he still had no idea what sort of sleeping arrangements would be best for the triplets. Would they be fine all together? Should they be separated? Were blankets a bad idea? Would they end up _suffocating_ themselves? He’d heard once that sometimes infants just stopped breathing and died in their sleep. What if that happened? Was there anything to prevent it? Leonardo didn’t know!

At one point he’d broken down to April, sobbing about being a terrible parent. She had been so reassuring, but at that point he hadn’t wanted to be consoled, wanted to stew in the fact that he was a horrible person. Of course when he’d calmed down he’d felt absolutely ridiculous and apologized immediately, in which case he only felt worse when April waved him off. Stupid hormones.

But the insecurities lingered in his mind, along with other little things that would pop up now and again, prompting anxiety. But most days he was too restless to worry about anything else other than learning any last minute tricks the Ancient One still had to offer and making sure everything was ready for when the kids were born. Which, for whatever reason, translated into him gathering up all the spare blankets and pillows in the house and hording them in his room. Wanting to baby proof the entire area so the triplets wouldn’t get hurt, despite the fact that they would be largely immobile for quite some time, Leo lined the walls and furniture of his room with anything fluffy. Apparently it wasn’t all that concerning, the fact that he was losing his mind, because the Ancient One didn’t bother to stop him or even sit him down to talk about the odd behavior. April on the other hand…

Leonardo felt badly for her. While the Ancient One wasn’t fazed by anything going on, the human was completely lost. And what was worse, with him being so near the due date and going nuts, he hadn’t really gotten around to planning anything for her birthday.

“I don’t need anything for my birthday, Leo. _Really_. Just take care of yourself and those little ones,” she’d say. But after what she’d done for Mutation Day, he felt like he had to do something.

It was the night before April’s birthday and Leo was still awake, pacing in his room and gathering up the blankets on his futon and rearranging them. As he did so, he tried to think of a good gift for April, but couldn’t keep focused. He tried to remember all of his friend’s likes and tastes, hoping something might pop up into his mind, even if it ended up being small, but he couldn’t concentrate. He wasn’t feeling well. The cramping he’d been feeling the last few days was really getting to him. The Ancient One claimed that it was due to the eggs preparing for delivery. Terrifyingly exciting news. Not really all that comforting, and certainly annoying at the moment.

He was about give up and go to bed, hoping some sleep might help, when a sharp pain tore through his side. Freezing, Leonardo stared down at his ballooned plastron. That hadn’t just hurt. Looking up and around his room, Leo realized that all the other lights in the house were out. Everyone else had gone to bed. Tentatively taking a step towards his own futon, the pain returned, ripping through his body. Lurching forward on instinct, Leo gasped, clutching at his stomach.

“Sh-shit,” he murmured.

That…hadn’t been a practice contraction. He was quite certain of it.

Fear is what he should have felt – this was _it_ , after all! – but oddly, it wasn’t. Something akin to relief washed over Leonardo as he gritted his teeth and managed to get down on the futon. Breathing becoming labored with each new contractions, becoming more intense, the ninja attempted to steel himself for what was to come. This was going to hurt, that much he knew, but he couldn’t lose his head. Now was certainly not the time to panic.

First thing was first. He was going to need help. While the Ancient One had explained how the process was to go, the turtle wasn’t so arrogant as to believe he could handle this on his own. Maybe he could, if he absolutely had to, but what was the point when he had two perfectly willing friends to help him?

Shifting so that he legs were apart, Leo knew he couldn’t stay sitting. But he’d need April or the Ancient One to help him get into a better position. “A-April?” he called, wincing at another contraction. “Okay,” he gritted his teeth, steeling himself, before calling out again, “April?”

Keep breathing. He’d been hurt enough to know that if he could just breathe through the pain, in some ways, he could control it. Meditation during pain also helped. But the turtle wasn’t sure he could actually mange to meditation right now. While he wasn’t panicking and he was relieved that the stress of waiting would soon be over, his mind was on a million different things at once.

“April?”

He could do this. Leo just had to keep believing that. While the first of his kind back on Earth, there had been plenty of turtles here on this planet that had gotten gravid and delivered their eggs safely. The fact that he was male didn’t make _that_ much of a difference…hopefully. All thoughts of the eggs getting stuck or not having a proper channel to go through were pushed back viciously. He couldn’t think like that. Not now. Nothing would go wrong. _Nothing._

“A-April!”

There was a tense moment before Leonardo saw light in another room. Relieved that he wouldn’t have to do this alone, the _shoji_ soon slid open. It was not April, but the Ancient One. And she had her arms filled with a large basket. She took one look at the panting turtle, and her face became firm. “ _Aiya_. April-chan!” she screeched. “Hurry!”

There was a loud clatter from April’s room, and some stumbling, but as another contraction came, Leo lost track of the human’s movements. Closing his eyes as more pain rippled through his already tired body, he felt like his arms would give out from holding him upright. Again, the _shoji_ slide open to show a very disheveled human, red hair poking out at interesting angles. When she saw the state of her friend, her eyes widened, and she rushed forward. “I’m here! I’m here,” she scrambled to Leo’s side.

“Help me move him to his knees.”

By this time in too much pain to do much of anything, Leo allowed the others to help push and settle him so that he was where he needed to be. Trying not to moan, to keep up his breathing, he ignored the Ancient One taking off his robe and poking around between his legs. He was in too much pain to worry about being embarrassed.

“That’s it, Leo-chan. Keep breathing,”

“You’re doing great, Leo,” April encouraged, before running out to get water at the Ancient One’s request.

“Are…a-are they o-kay…right now?” Leo couldn’t help but ask.

“It is all going normally,” the old woman soothed, and again, another weight was lifted off his shell. “Just keep breathing. It might be a while yet before the first emerges.”

‘A while’ translated to be over an hour. While Leonardo feared it had something to do with him being male or something going wrong, the Ancient One was sure to remind him that birthing took much longer than anyone would like. And with April trying to keep him cool by giving him water and wiping his face, the process was one he simply had to endure.

Around the two and a half hour mark, Leo was in excruciating pain, and felt as though it would never end. But at about that time, he heard the Ancient One say the magic words, “It’s time to push, Leo-chan.”

Tears rushing from his eyes, the turtle took a moment to gather his strength. A small cry tore from his throat as he felt a flare of white-hot pain.

“Oh! Oh shit,” he heard April exclaim.

Clenching the blankets from the futon, Leo managed to look back. They must have seen the worry in his eyes, because the Ancient One smacked April upside the head. “Everything is fine,” she comforted, before glaring back at the human. “Don’t faint.”

“I-I…I’ll sit a second,” April murmured, looking substantially paler than she had before.

Turning away and focusing back on the task at hand, Leonardo once again began pushing. Of all the experiences he had ever gone through, there were none like this. It felt like someone had lit him on fire from the inside while tearing him in half. Not even his first time with Raph had felt remotely like this. At least then there’d been some amount of pleasure behind the pain. Right now it was all just pain.

“Almost!” he heard the Ancient One encourage as he started crying harder, unable to hold out anymore. “Almost, Leo-chan. One more!”

Nothing felt smooth, as he would have thought an egg should feel. Instead, giving it his all, he screamed before the intense pressure suddenly peaked and began to fade. He slumped forward, gasping and miserable. But the thought of just giving up and dying fled the moment he heard the cries of a baby.

“Wha…?” he panted, too exhausted to truly move, but he tried.

“Lay still,” the old woman gently pressed back on his shell. “Rest.”

“Th-the egg…it’s…a baby?”

“A beautiful baby girl,” the Ancient One confirmed, which had Leo trying to look more fervently. A girl? He had a baby girl?

“I w-wanna…see…”

“You rest. You have two more to meet. April-chan! Clean her.”

“Oh my God,” April breathed. She sounded like she was crying. “Oh, Leo, she’s so beautiful.”

Curiosity mixed potently with the instinct to get to his daughter, but another wave of agony crashed over him before he could attempt to move.

“I believe her siblings are anxious to follow,” the Ancient One murmured, once more coaching Leo through the labor.

It didn’t take quite as long for the second to come, following almost immediately on the heels of their sister. Concentrating, soon enough Leo felt that fiery burn before the pressure released. The cries this time were quieter than the first, but still proved the little one had a good pair of lungs.

“A baby boy,” the Ancient One announced as the infant was passed to April to clean. “You are doing wonderfully, Leo-chan. One more. One more.”

Sobbing, Leo was exhausted and wasn’t sure he could do this anymore. He hurt so bad, was desperate to see his children, but all he felt like he could do was pass out. Moaning, he shifted as best as he could, focusing on the shifting under his plastron, and trying not to let the wails of his children already born upset him. Just one more. One more baby and then he could see them. He could finally meet his babies.

It took almost ten minutes for the last infant to come, not as keen on leaving their warm nest inside their carrier, but when they came, it went much smoother, apparently not as big as their siblings. Or Leo, mused, he was stretched out wide enough for them to pass easier. Whatever the case, it was a blessing as the baby slipped out, and Leonardo found himself slumping forward, all of his strength gone. A third shrill cry pierced the night as the last of the eggs had finally come.

“Another baby girl.”

Somehow Leo managed the strength to smile into the covers, and despite his desire to see his children, he was completely drained. Instead he laid still, listening to the Ancient One and April puttering about, felt someone cleaning him up, but he didn’t care to know who or what they were doing. Instead, he started drifting in and out, unable to truly rest with not having even seen his children, but physically unable to handle anything else.

Eventually the Ancient One put a new fluffy robe on the young parent, before she and April helped shift Leo onto the futon. He stifled a whine, his body aching, but once settled, April propping him up with many of the pillows he pilfered and the Ancient One came over with the basket in hand. Eyes zeroing in, Leo could hear the whimpers and sniffles from within.

“Please,” he held out shaky arms, _needing_ to see the little ones he’d been so anxious to meet.

Resting the basket on the futon beside him, Leo stared down inside, taking in the small forms for the first time. Three tiny replicas of turtles were nestled inside, each tightly swaddled and divided by blankets. They were all so small that the ninja found himself overwhelmed. He couldn’t speak, just stared down at them with tears rushing from his eyes. How was this possible? How had these perfect little creatures really come from him?

“Congratulations, Leo-chan.”

“Congratulations, Leo,” April hugged him from behind, but he barely noticed. “They’re beautiful.”

Managing to nod, Leonardo reached out tentatively to stroke the tiny bundles. They squirmed, chirped a bit, but settled. A huff of a laugh escaped him as he continued to touch and stroke the little cheeks of each one. Eventually one peeked open an eye at him, glaring unfocused at their carrier for the first time, and Leo felt his heart stop. Feeling sick to his stomach as he stared into piercing green eyes he thought he’d never see again, Leo crumpled, sobbing, as he hugged the basket close.


	31. The Calm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo takes time to adjust to being a parent.

The early hours of the morning were quiet, the inhabitance of the house worn out and drifting in and out of sleep. Despite his exhaustion, Leonardo found himself awake, looking down into the basket that housed his children. Leaning back into the mountain of pillows behind him, he stared at the little turtles, still in awe, heart simultaneously swelling with warmth and more love than he thought he’d ever felt before in his life, while also breaking into millions of pieces. Because these were his babies, he beautiful little ones…and Raphael would never know about them.

Two of the infants, his daughters, possessed their sire’s eyes, startlingly green, almost glowing. The first time Leonardo had realized that Raph’s eyes were staring back at him from a little face, he had shattered. The wonder of the moment had been obliterated the second he’d seen the eyes he loved so much in the face of someone other than Raphael. It reminded him of everything his lover had missed, and of everything he would never see. The eyes of his daughters, all three of these little ones Leo was beginning to realize, would haunt him for the rest of his life.

And yet he was so very glad that they were here, that he had small reminders of his lover. While it would probably hurt every time his daughters stared up at him, or if his son grew to inherit more of his sire’s build or qualities, Leonardo was certain the pain would be worth it. As long as they were healthy and happy, as long as they loved him, it would all be worth it. Pain faded with time. Perhaps it would never go away, but it would fade.

Reaching out, Leo began petting the triplets, hoping to distract himself from the melancholy that threatened to tarnish the joy of the occasion. He had yet to actually hold them, and he was still too tired to trust himself to do more than touch. If he dropped them, he’d never forgive himself.

“Leo-chan?” Tearing his eyes away from the infants, the Ancient One was watching him with concern shining in obsidian eyes. “You should take some rest.”

He glanced to April in the corner, curled up asleep using some of the pillows and blankets he’d tried to baby-proof his room with. He felt bad for her. It was her birthday and she was sleeping on the floor, after apparently nearly passing out at one point during the birthing. This wasn’t the sort of gift he’d had in mind for her.

“I’m too tired to sleep,” he whispered, turning back to the babies.

“You ought to try,” she urged. “You will need all the rest you can get.”

Leo continued to pet the infants when one of the girls started to squirm, becoming restless. It worried the new parent that the girl would wake her siblings, and he reached out for her, tenderly stroking her face and cooing in an attempt to calm her. It didn’t appear as though she wanted to be appeased, and instead, her tiny face scrunched up in clear warning of something louder to come. Having no choice, not wishing to rouse anyone else, Leonardo held his breath before carefully digging her out of the nest with steady hands, insuring her head was completely supported, before bringing her to his chest.

“Don’t cry,” he murmured. “Don’t cry. I’m here.”

The infant still didn’t appear all that happy with her circumstances, but she did calm a bit, settling as she found Leo’s heartbeat. He’d read about how infants recognized their mother’s heartbeats, and watching it in action was awe-inspiring. As was the fact that she was so very tiny. Leo had spent so long feeling like a blimp, complaining and waddling about, feeling absolutely, wretchedly huge, and yet his babies were so tiny.

Surely this perfect little thing hadn’t come from him? It had to be a mistake. Leonardo wasn’t all that fantastic when it came to creating anything other than a strategy. Art was more of Mikey and Donnie’s fields. But to think he’d created utter perfection in seven months, living, breathing replicas of a mutant turtle with only some time, misplaced love, and a pinch of help from Raph.

Green eyes peeked open to stare up at their carrier, unfocused and watery, but still cutting Leo to the heart. Chirping almost inquisitively up at her parent, it took the ninja a moment to realize he was crying again. Crying because he loved her so much, and crying because of all the hurt he still felt twisting him up inside.

Carefully bringing his baby girl closer, Leo leaned down and kissed her softly on her forehead. She was so perfect. What would Raphael think?

“Such a pretty little one,” he cooed, smiling as best as he could. “Like a little princess.”

The girl chirped, before snuggling back closer to her carrier. Apparently she’d just wanted to be close to him. It was overwhelmingly endearing to the turtle at the moment. At least someone loved him.

“You and your siblings are so very beautiful,” he continued to babble, not sure why he was, but just needing to release some of the tension and sadness and joy, and to stop himself from crying again. “You were the last, though, weren’t you?” he smiled fondly at his youngest. “The last, but not the least.”

While all still so new, only several hours old, to Leo’s eyes each child was already so different, distinct from one another. Despite them being swaddled, he saw the variances in their faces, saw the differences in their sizes. This little one in his arms, she was the smallest and the lightest coloration, her sister coming next with the darkest scales, with their brother being the biggest, his color somewhere in between his sisters.

“I love you all so very much,” he murmured, kissing the little forehead again as he unconsciously began patting her fragile shell through the covers, rocking gently. “And I’ll do everything that I can for you. You’ll not have to grow up like I did. I’ll make sure of that. You’ll never go hungry, you’ll never be scared of being hunted down, and you’ll never have to feel like a monster. I swear to you, you won’t.”

The heartfelt declaration was met with nothing save a heavy breath somewhere between a sigh and a huff. It caused the new parent to smile as he continued to rock his daughter. He stayed that way, how long, he wasn’t sure, but the sun was steadily rising, the room brightening. He was in a trance as he watched his daughter sleep, so when he felt a hand on his shoulder, he was startled enough to flinch. Thankfully it didn’t upset the baby, and after checking her over, he looked up to find April smiling at him.

She looked terrible, but probably not as crappy as him. But there was a gentleness to her face, her eyes shining softly as she gazed down at the infants. “They’re precious,” she whispered, afraid of shattering the stillness. “Congratulations.”

“Thank you,” he whispered back, unable to keep the smile from his lips. He felt unreasonably proud of these little ones already and all they’d accomplished thus far was their birth. Was this what all parents felt?

“Do you have their names picked out yet?” the human asked, reaching out and petting the boy.

Thinking back on everything that had happened to him, on how he’d gotten here so far, how his life had changed in so many ways, a lot of it bad, a lot of it good. He’d lost his family, his other friends. He’d lost his lover and best friend. His entire life, everything he knew, was gone save for April. He was probably among the most unlucky beings in the galaxy from many perspectives.

But he’d gained so much as well. He still had April, and he could honestly say he’d never been closer to the girl. She’d become more than a friend – she was his sister. And he now also had three beautiful children to boast of, each one already so loved and adored. He had the Ancient One, too, and had tentatively made friends with Usagi. They were even on a planet – as astronomical as the odds had been for them to land here – where he and the little ones would not be seen as monsters, not even alien. That was, at least, something to be thankful for.

As unlucky as he’d been in his life, he’d been just as fortunate. And hoping to continue this new hopefulness, not wishing to burden his children with his own turbulent luck, he’d picked their names carefully.

“Sachiko,” he nodded to the sleeping girl in his arms. “Her name is Sachiko.” Reaching out and petting his eldest, who screwed up her face in obvious distaste at being disturbed, Leo was struck by how much that reminded him of Raph. “Her name’s Mizuki,” he said around a lump forming in his throat. “And he’s Yoshi.”

Wrapping an arm around his shoulder, bringing him in for a side hug, April held on, letting him work through his emotions. “Those are wonderful names,” she agreed, moving her other hand to sooth a now squirming Mizuki. “I love them.”

“Thanks,” his voice was watery, as were his eyes, but they both ignored it. Clearing his throat, he turned to smile as best as he could at his friend. “Happy birthday, by the way. Sorry I didn’t arrange any big celebration.”

“Please,” she waved off with a snort. “This was present enough for me,” she nodded to the infants. “I’m so happy they’re here and healthy and everything went as well as it did. I don’t need anything other than that.”

“Still –”

“No,” she shook her head firmly. “It’s fine, Leo. I don’t need any presents or anything.”

“I did have one in mind,” he tempted, teasing lightly.

That got the human to pause, and she eyed him dubiously. After careful consideration, she nodded, asking slowly, “What was it?”

Had he not been so tired, Leo might have managed to look smug. Instead, he smiled at his friend with knowing eyes, nodding to the children. “I was hoping you’d accept being their godmother. You know, in case anything should happen to me…”

Blue eyes were wide as they stared at him, and before he knew it, tears were streaming down his friend’s cheeks. Had he not known her so well at this point, he might have worried he’d said something wrong or caused her some kind of distress. But as it was, he knew April, and there was a sense of gratitude and happiness about her that he could not ignore. Wiping at her eyes, she gave a small huff of a laugh.

“Sorry,” she mumbled. “I…didn’t expect to get so choked up.” She laughed again before turning and hugging Leo fully, still mindful of Sachiko in his arms. “I would _love_ to be their godmother. Thank you, Leo. This is honestly the most sincere and beautiful gift I’ve ever gotten.”

Trying to control his own raging hormones now, Leo patted her with one hand, making sure Sachiko was still supported. “It’s only proper. After all,” he gave her a final squeeze before she finally released him, “you all do share a birthday.”

“I guess we do,” April laughed, a little more freely.

By that time the Ancient One was up and bustled in with a tray of tea and light finger foods. Leo wasn’t much for eating at the moment even though he knew he probably should, but he’d take tea. Especially since it smelled like…

“Is that jasmine?” he asked, a sudden deep longing in his very _soul_.

“It is,” the old turtle smirked, dark eyes glitteringly with a knowing smirk. “I brought the pot.”

The day kept getting better and better! As he carefully nestled Sachiko back down into her warm nest with her siblings, taking pains to ensure there was no jostling, Leonardo was then handed a full cup of the much longed for and missed jasmine tea. Taking his first sip since finding out about the children nearly half a year ago, the turtle groaned in appreciation, sighing contently as he savored the beloved flavor. Smiling down at his favorite drink, so many memories washing over him at the aroma alone. He took another sip, pleased that the taste almost completely masked the sudden bitterness he felt brewing deep within his heart.

**oOoOoOo**

The peace and tranquility of long, lazy autumn days that both Leonardo and April had become accustomed to within the home of the Ancient One had become a thing of the past. Babies were infamously selfish little creatures, crying when they were hungry or wet or for no real reason at all. And the fact that there were now three in the household after none of them were really used to children, meant that nerves were fraying and there were definite moments of desperation.

But even then Leonardo was glad that he had his little ones here and he no longer had the fear of being unable to deliver them properly looming over his head. And besides that, despite the stress and exhaustion he felt acutely now, desperate to make a decent parent for them, there were also quiet times, stillness that could settle over the trio. Those moments were worth the stress. The times when he managed to cuddle all three of them, rocking and humming, as they either slept or watched him with bright eyes.

Only after everything was said and done had the Ancient One explained that there had been a definite strain on Leo’s body with the delivery, and that he was to remain on bedrest for several days. While technically the entire process hadn’t lasted all that long – especially compared to human births – with Leonardo’s unique physiology, his passage way for the eggs had been narrower than most females, thus resulting in more trauma and tear. While the Ancient One assured them that there would be no lasting damage done and he would heal fine, the ninja would need to take care of himself and truly rest. Which meant no walking around without help or supervision, and he was _required_ to rest up as best as he could.

Which was nearly impossible with three little ones, but Leo wisely kept his sass to himself. And while he was _loathed_ to sit still and rarely leave the futon, he understood and was forced to agree with the old woman. That first day he’d felt all right, but by the second morning, he felt like absolute _shit_. Worse than shit, really. He was achy and everything seemed to hurt all at once. There was residual cramping, and he could never quite get truly comfortable. If he hadn’t had infants to care for, he might have allowed himself some time to wallow in misery.

But as it was, he had plenty to keep him preoccupied with the triplets. Sure, he rested when he could, a lot of times simply dropping into sleep during the day, whether he was sitting up or preparing a bottle, but those power naps were hardly enough. At one point, after about the sixth day since their birth, when Leo suddenly dropped off without realize it, the Ancient One came in and stole the basket of little ones from right out under his nose. The ninja had woken about five or so hours later, groggy and stiff, but feeling better than he had in some time, only to panic when he realized the triplets were gone.

He’d very nearly leapt out from off his futon to tear the house apart in his quest to find his babies, when April came back in with them, scolding him to stay put. No amount of grumbling seemed to affect her, so the turtle had to content himself with checking over the infants, ensuring that nothing terrible had happened to them while he’d been a neglectful parent and fallen asleep.

But soon enough, a new rhythm developed between all of the inhabitance, including the little ones. And while stress still abound, it was getting easier to manage. At least, in most respects.

What actually still hurt – much more than he’d anticipated – was looking upon his children and see their sire in them. While the girls shared their father’s green eyes, both perfect replicas of Raphael’s, it startled Leo one day when he realized that Yoshi would probably grow to look much more similar to Raph than he’d first anticipated. It was the shape of the head, something around his cheeks. If he had to guess, Yoshi would inherit his father’s sharper features.

But that was fine. It would be okay. Raphael was not a bad looking turtle, and honestly, even without the children, Leo knew he’d never be able to forget his brother. Having these little reminders of him, showing off the very best of what Raphael was, might actually help in the long run. True, he still hurt, he was still bitter, but over the course of time it would fade away. And one day, even if it was twenty years in the future, Leonardo knew he’d come to appreciate every feature in his children that hurt him so much right now. The green eyes of his daughters, the defined looks of his son, he knew one day he’d look upon them and remember all the good times he’d had with Raphael. And maybe one day, too, he’d be able to speak to his children about their sire without the crushing sadness and bitterness that loomed over him so potently right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mizuki - felicitous omen, good luck, hope  
> Yoshi - good luck, good & virtuous, respectable  
> Sachiko - happiness, good luck child, blessed. 
> 
> Fun fact: When plotting out the story, I'd have the kids birthday picked before realizing I'd chosen April's exact birthday so I went with it. 
> 
> Up next: Usagi comes to ruin the domesticity.


	32. The Request

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Usagi returns to the home of the Ancient One.

Winter crept upon them all of a sudden it seemed. Despite the dropping temperatures, it was still a shock when one morning the cozy inhabitance woke to find the earth covered in thick blankets of snow. It was mid-December, and if the Ancient One’s warnings were any indication, it would only get colder. Glancing over at the cocooned bundles with thick knitted hats pulled down securely over their heads as their basket was placed near the fire, Leo couldn’t stop himself from worrying.

It was edging on three weeks since the triplet’s birth and in that time, Leonardo himself had made some significant improvement in his own health. The bedrest seemed to have done wonders in terms of helping him heal, though the ninja suspected it was more that he was naturally inclined to heal faster because of his mutation than strictly because of the rest. But he didn’t say a word and was grateful when he was able to get up and walk around after a week. Moving about helped with the left over cramps and stiffness of joints.

It was odd, everyone spoke up about the pregnancy process, the birthing, but they all seemed to forget to mention everything that happened _after_ the birth. Neglected to inform the new parents about all the aches and pains that lingered and persisted. But again, Leo wouldn’t complain. He was just glad that he was finally able to _breathe_ again. There was no crushing weight pushing up on his lungs, his intestines were starting to feel better as they shifted back into their proper places, and best of all, he could sleep on his plastron again!

Getting up slowly from his seat near the children, Leo checked them over, ensured that they were still sleeping, before turning to the Ancient One. “Do you mind watching them?” he asked softly, not wishing to wake them. It had been absolute hell to get them all three down today, and he wasn’t about to wake them if he could help it. “I’d like to go outside for a little while.”

The old woman shot him a glare, but the younger turtle held up his hands in surrender. “Not far. I just want to practice a few katas by the side of the house.”

For all her quirks, the Ancient One really had proven to be a caring and compassionate individual. Without her help, Leo knew he and April would be in a very bad place right now. Not to mention he was fairly certain that the triplets probably wouldn’t be alive. There was so much that he owed to her, from her lessons on childcare to her meditation training and lectures on ninjitsu. Leonardo’s trust had been badly shaken over the course of the last half a year, but he trusted the Ancient One with his life, and more importantly, his children. Her harshness, he’d come to understand quickly, came from her deep sense of caring.

She held her glare for a moment more before sighing. “Do not go far,” she warned quietly. “If they wake, I will need help.”

“I’ll keep my ears open,” he promised with a bow. Honestly, as weird as it was, Leonardo felt as though he’d developed a sixth sense when it came to the kids. Sometimes they didn’t even have to cry for him to go running to them, taking them up before they went into a full on tirade. And no matter where he was in the house, even dead to the world asleep, the moment they started to whimper, he was up and alert. Their wails and chirps cut through even his deepest meditation, the natural instinct to nurture and protect outweighing everything else.

So not worried that he’d leave the old turtle to the whims of shrieking infants alone, Leo walked to his room, slipped on a heavier robe, made sure his feet were well bundled for the snow, before grabbing his sword. It had been a while since he’d held it. The weight was comfortable and familiar in his hand, and he mourned the loss of its twin.

Stepping out into the winter wonderland, taking in the beauty of the white encrusted world, watching as fat snowflakes floated down lazily from the sky, had the ninja breathing deeply and sighing. It felt like so long since he’d last been outside of the house, and forever since he’d seen snow.

In all honesty, he wasn’t a fan of winter, never had been. While charmed perhaps by the glistening mountains caped with snow, admiring the pine dusted with white, the delicate dance of snowflakes as they descended to earth, such things were best left to view on T.V. or on postcards as far as he was concerned. Because despite the beauties of winter, winter had the unfortunate habit of bringing _cold_ along with it. And anyone who knew him understood that Hamato Leonardo and cold did not get along. Under _any_ circumstance.

But things were changing, and while the cold sliced through him, this year, Leonardo found the sting bracing. A harsh slap to the face, uncomfortable, but reminding him that he was alive. Shivering a bit, setting into a ready stance, the turtle unsheathed his sword and closed his eyes as he allowed his body to take over.

As always, being out in the first snow of winter had him remembering his first winter above ground, of the terrible Invasion and his near-deathly battle with the Shredder and his forces. Even now he shuddered at the memory, old wounds aching, the shock of not only his brutal beating, but recalling being plunged into ice water in the construction pit. What a fool he’d been, a young fool. What had he even accomplished then, anyway? At the time he’d hoped that Donnie would gather up their family and get out of the city like he’d wanted from the beginning, but that hadn’t happened. In the end, all he’d done was get nearly beaten to death, worry his family, and leave the city unprotected and vulnerable.

Things had worked out, though, in the end. While waking up three months later, still not fully recovered wasn’t ideal, it had been the beginning of something more. Perhaps he hadn’t known it then, perhaps tried to deny it later, but Leonardo recalled that his time away at the farmhouse that first spring as the beginning of his own personal changes. He remembered the pain and the hard lessons he’d had to learn in which ultimately helped him become the person he was today. And he recognized it as the beginning of when he and Raph had started to behave…a little differently around one another.

The tender care Raphael given Leo, the patience, the encouragement – there wasn’t any other time in their lives when Raph had been so gentle with him, at least not like that. It was the first time that Raphael had dropped his tough guy act all together as he helped his struggling brother with his depression and injuries. It also felt like the first time Leo had actually ever truly _seen_ Raphael. Saw all the love and caring that he hid away behind his attitude and foul temper. And ever since that spring, no matter what kind of tantrum the brute threw, the terrible things he said, the sarcasm he threw out, Leonardo was able to see through it all. Had come to understand it better. It had been the beginning of an inescapable attraction he’d denied for his whole life.

Shifting into a different position, Leonardo spun around sharply, eyes snapping open, as he found himself suddenly face to face with someone he had not been expectng. Blinking in surprise, sword still poised at Usagi’s neck, the ninja stared for a moment longer, before lowering his weapon. “Usagi-san,” he breathed in amazement. How far had he let his mind wander that he hadn’t even sensed the rabbit? It was a bit disturbing.

For his part, the ronin appeared just as surprised by the turtle’s reaction as Leo had been at seeing the samurai again. “Leonardo-san,” he greeted, giving a slight bow. “Forgive me if I startled you.”

“It’s fine,” the turtle waved off quickly. It was only now that he stopped moving that he shivered, feeling the icy wind cut through his layers of clothes. “Why don’t we go in?”

The rabbit nodded his agreement. The two were quick to shed their out cloaks and remove their shoes lest they trail in more snow once through the door. For a moment Leo wondered if he should put his katana back in his room, but decided against it. It felt good to have it with him, so he kept it on his hip as he led the newly arrived ronin into the main room, to the fire.

When the Ancient One saw Usagi, she didn’t appear the least bit surprised. In fact, she eyed him up and down, before snorting. “About time,” she mumbled under her breath before she excused herself to make tea for the newly arrived.

Usagi watched her go, frowning lightly, before turning towards the basket with the triplets when he heard a quiet chirp. “Is that…them?” he asked quietly, making a move to walk over, only to stop, looking back at Leo, uncertain.

Smiling, relieved that the rabbit was asking his permission, Leo nodded. Motioning for the samurai to follow, they sat down together each on either side of the basket. Peeking in reveal Mizuki wide awake and wiggling, which was starting to unsettle her brother.

“Oh my,” the rabbit breathed quietly. His face shown with warmth. “Look at them. It…has been a long time since I’ve seen such little ones.”

Feeling unreasonably proud, Leo scooped up his eldest, hesitated only a moment before passing her to Usagi. “Mind her head,” he murmured.

There was no reason to fear, apparently, as Usagi took the tiny turtle in hand, cradling her close with expert precision. Remembering what Usagi had said about once having a family, it made Leo wonder if he’d had little nieces and nephews he’d once held so tenderly like this. It appeared, at least, that he knew what he was doing when it came to holding infants. His movements were very gentle.

“Look how beautiful,” Usagi smiled warmly down at the girl. “And such striking eyes! Is it common for your people to have such a color?”

It was innocent enough to ask, but it still made Leo cringe, an unexpected longing for Raphael rearing up. “No,” he denied. “Those are her…her father’s eyes,” he explained quietly.

Realizing his mistake, Usagi was quick to change the subject. “She is very beautiful. What is her name?”

“That is Mizuki, the eldest.” Reaching into the basket to retrieve the now waking little boy, Leo smiled at his son, picking him up and giving him a quick kiss. “This is Yoshi, my second. And that little one still sound asleep is Sachiko.”

“Very strong names,” the samurai nodded approvingly. “Very healthy looking little ones. You are doing a wonderful job.”

“Thanks.” The compliment actually meant a lot to the turtle. A glowing sense of gratitude washed over him that his efforts had been noticed by someone that had only just arrived. “But I’ve had a lot of help. I couldn’t have done everything without April and the Ancient One.”

“I see. It is common for first time parents to need assistance.” The rabbit readjusted Mizuki, who managed to free one of her hands from the bondage of her wrappings and was attempting to squirm herself out of her blankets completely. Usagi grinned at her. “You are very active for being so small,” he huffed in amusement.

Again, feeling unreasonably pleased with his children, Leo readjusted Yoshi, who was now whimpering against him. Apparently he hadn’t woken as well as his sister. “They have all proven to be quite active. Mizuki the most.”

By that time the Ancient One returned with tea and bottles for the infants. Without having to ask, she shoved a bottle in Leo’s face, before setting down the tray and pouring tea. Shaking his head, feeling amused and content, Leo took up the bottle and was quick to settle Yoshi so the little one could eat. Big blue-green eyes were watery, and the little lip was pouting out already. It was the perfect face of misery, and Leo couldn’t help but smile as he stared down at his son. “Your life is truly terrible,” he told his son solemnly. Yoshi let out a whimper of agreement.

Shaking his head, Leo settled Yoshi and began feeding the apparently starved baby. Perhaps he really was starving as he began sucking down his meal instantly. He was the biggest of the three, after all, so it stood to reason that he got hungrier than them, too.

The Ancient One was quick to pick up Sachiko, and had a bottle near when the little girl was ready to eat, and handed the other to Usagi. The rabbit took it, but apparently Mizuki was more interested in the stranger than eating. Once her eyes had focused enough and she realized that she’d never seen anyone with fur all over their face, she began chirping instantly at him in an attempt to figure out what he was. Watching the rabbit with the tiny turtle had Leo grinning as a rather flustered expression crossed the samurai’s features.

The chirping and squeaks eventually woke Sachiko, who was not at all thrilled to be woken, and let out a wail, before settling when the Ancient One offered the bottle. All in all, it became a rather interesting gathering, everyone helping where the little ones were concerned. It reminded Leo of home in an odd way – everyone pitching in to help where they could. It made him wonder if his brothers would have offered to help him with the triplets had he had the courage to just admit what had happened and not gone on this ridiculous space hunt to find Raphael.

The adults sat together in silence, feeding the greedy little turtles that sucked down their meal, before Usagi dared ask, “Where is April-san?”

“She went out hunting,” Leo replied, smiling at the thought of his friend going out. It wasn’t the first time April had done this, but she was still new, and still unsure and a little squeamish. All that aside, however, she was a fairly decent shot, and while there wasn’t much out in the winter, it was wiser to stock up on meats to dry while they still could.

“I see,” the ronin nodded, readjusting Mizuki, who glared up at the rabbit. Her annoyance was clear, and her attitude already forming so firmly, it made her bearer both amused and bitter. Because he could already tell that if one of the triplets would end up with a personality close to Raphael’s, it would be Zuki. From her tiny glares, to the indignation she could express so clearly already when something did not go her way, Leonardo saw his lover in her just as clear as day.

“We expected you sooner,” the Ancient One cut in, glaring at the rabbit. “You are _late_.”

Now flustered for a different reason, the samurai ducked his head in apology. “Forgive me. There has been much to do as of late. And the weather has been against me since I left the palace,” he added for good measure.

While the Ancient One snorted, Leo offered an empathetic smile. “That’s fine. We understand.” He sent a warning look at the old turtle. “Besides, we’ve been busy, too.”

The door opened then, and a wave of winter air swept through the house. A few minutes later and a cold, stiff April came shuffling in. It was testament to how miserable she was at the moment that she didn’t do more than spare Usagi a glance. Instead, she stole a cup and poured herself tea before flopping down close to the fire. Only once she had sat a moment, soaking in the heat, did she turn towards their guest.

“Hey,” she slipped into English, but the samurai seemed to understand the sentiment.

“Greets, April-san.”

“Get anything?” Leo asked, more to keep conversation going than curiosity. He could tell from the way she moved and her expression that it had been a long, cold day for nothing.

“Not a thing,” she grumbled, but gratefully wrapped herself in a blanket that Leo tossed her. “When did you get here, Usagi-san?” she asked as politely as she could manage. April wasn’t the biggest fan of winter either.

“Not long ago,” the rabbit reassured. “Perhaps fifteen or twenty minutes ago.”

“And why have you come back?” the Ancient One pipped up, eyeing the samurai expectantly.

Leo stared at the old turtle, surprised by the sudden attack. She had been the one to invite him for the birth, after all. The fact that Usagi hadn’t quite made it wasn’t surprising, and shouldn’t have mattered all that much to the old woman. It was confusing, but at the same time, the ninja had learned that his new sensei never did or said anything without reason. Her reactions, although sometimes appearing spontaneous, had deeper meaning as the old turtle always seemed to know things no one else did.

“Was I not invited?” Usagi asked, a bit of horror leaking into his features at the thought of being an unwanted guest.

But just as Leo was about to reassure the rabbit that he was fine, that he had been given an invitation, the Ancient One cut him off mid-sentence. “You have come for more than a visit.” Her glare was penetrating. “So what is it that you seek this time?”

That Usagi could have an ulterior motive for the visit hadn’t crossed Leonardo’s mind, but in retrospect, maybe it should have. After all, his last visit had been to beg ideas and battle plans. Had he returned to once again seek council with a turtle he didn’t really know all that well? Or was the Ancient One merely being suspicious?

Usagi looked like he wanted to protest, but stilled as he let out a sigh. “I did wish to come visit, to see you and your little ones, Leonardo-san,” he smiled a bit, before it fell from his features. “But I am afraid that I was sent yet again on another mission from the Shogun.”

“You need to talk more about strategy?” April asked with a frown, still trying to warm herself.

“ _Hai_ ,” the rabbit nodded, before turning to look Leo straight in the eye. “And to bring you back to the palace. The Shogun wishes to meet you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up: Arguments. Lots of arguments.


	33. Uncertainty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo and Usagi have words...

“I’m not going to meet the Shogun!” Leonardo hissed venomously.

“Leonardo-san –”

“How can you still even ask me this?” the ninja continued, the fear that had slowly started to crawl its way up his throat from several hours ago continuing to burn sickeningly in his gut. “I just had children – I’m not even _from_ here – what about April?” he raved, unable stop himself. “How could you even think this would work out?”

“Please, Leonardo-san,” the samurai sighed. “I am not asking this of you because I believe it will be uncomplicated. I am asking you out of desperation.”

The turtle wanted very badly to scream at the samurai to shut up and leave him be, it was on the tip of his tongue, but he managed to bite the desire back. Because not only would it startle his children, it would be incredibly callous. The rabbit didn’t deserve that kind of treatment, especially with how much he’d done for Leo and April already, especially since he never have to.

But frustration and panic licked at the ninja’s rationality. “Usagi-san,” he took a deep breath, hoping to calm himself. “The triplets aren’t even a month old. I’m not fully recovered. How do you see us traveling in this weather?” Perhaps logic would win the day.

“It will not be easy,” the samurai conceded, “but there have been others that traveled in worse, even with infants.”

“Only when they absolutely had to,” the turtle snapped, losing his temper. “ _I_ have a choice. And my choice is to stay put where I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they will survive.”

The two stood staring at one another, Leonardo furious, Usagi grave. It was the first time they were truly at odds with one another, and the turtle found he didn’t like it. He just wanted to go back to his room with the children and lock everyone out. Lock out the world. He was getting sick and tired of being guilted into helping with a war that had nothing to do with him.

“Our people are dying,” Usagi tried again, voice soft. “Lord Noriyuki is in grave danger.”

“That’s not my problem,” the ninja retorted before he could think better of it.

The rudeness caught the rabbit by surprise, it seemed, as he stared at Leonardo with something akin to disappointment. Leo hated the expression. It made him feel incredibly guilty, although again, he knew he shouldn’t have to feel this way. This was _not_ his fight, not his war. Over and over he had to remind himself of that. Remind himself that he was needed here, with his children and April. He had obligations to his family first, everything else had to come second.

“Lord Noriyuki is a _child_ ,” the ronin murmured. “He has only seen ten summers.”

It was a low blow, one that Leonardo recognized for what it was. Already he felt his heart twist and his stomach churn at the thought of a child being in such peril. It was, of course, the reaction that rabbit was probably hoping for. Playing Leo’s delicate and sensitive motherly instincts against him while his hormones were still unbalanced. It was low and completely unfair, and before he knew what he was doing, Leo was storming away.

Of course Usagi followed. He didn’t want the rabbit anywhere near him at the moment, the ninja just wanted to be alone, to be angry. He wished he was back home, in the dojo. Wished he could beat the shit out of the punching bag, or go to the surface and race across the rooftops. Anything to expel all the negative and visceral emotions he felt right now.

“Leonardo-san!”

Grinding his teeth together, Leo spun around and snarled. “What?! What do you want, Usagi?” He was angry enough to forget the polite suffix at the end. “I’ve told you ‘no,’ what do I have to say to you to get you to forget this…this… _insanity_?”

Suddenly Leo found himself feeling two inches tall due to the look the samurai gave him which reminded him too strongly of Sensei. But whether or not it was still because of the disappointment that lingered in the dark eyes or from being unimpressed by his rudeness, the turtle didn’t know. But whatever it was, it had Leo seeing his mentor, and the sensation of failing his beloved father overtook him.

Turning away, the ninja escaped to his room, and this time Usagi did not follow. Once inside, he gathered up his children and hid himself away. He was still riled up, anxious and irritated, but he poured the displaced energy into doting on the infants. While the girls slept, Leo cradled and bounced Yoshi, hugging the baby close as he paced about the room. The little boy, for his part, apparently sensed his parent’s mood and did not make a sound. It once more made Leo feel horrible, like he was some kind of bad parent, frightening his son. But then how much of this was his imagination running wild? Perhaps Yoshi just didn’t feel the need to make noise.

Sighing, eventually Leo sat down on his futon and stared down at his baby. Yoshi was wide awake, his big blue-green eyes inspecting the room. He was getting better at being able to focus, they all were, and the new parent realized almost immediately how quickly these little ones were going to grow. Already they were gaining strength in their muscles, and their chirps and coos sounded heartier. In the blink of an eye they wouldn’t be his babies anymore.

The thought had the turtle hugging his son close, an unexpected wave of emotion crashing into him. He wasn’t ready for his little ones to grow up yet. He wanted to keep them small and adorable for quite a while. But even Leo knew they’d grow with or without his permission, and soon would begin crawling and walking, running and playing, steadily becoming more independent. And he was determined to be there each step of the way.

As he sat patting Yoshi’s shell, calming as he listened to his son’s contented coos, the ninja’s mind went back to what Usagi had said, about Lord Noriyuki. A little boy, only ten years old, was out there in the middle of a war, threatened and endangered. The fact that a child was so caught up in such a violent political struggle left Leonardo sick. He’d read all about how many child-rulers of Earth had met poor ends due to ambition and greed of others, knew that such a life – even if they survived – would not be a necessarily pleasant one for them.

But what could Leo really do to help? He had his own problems and his own concerns. This wasn’t his fight, this _planet_ wasn’t his! He didn’t owe anyone anything, save perhaps the Ancient One, and she had yet to weigh in her opinions on the issue. In fact, he was fairly certain she would agree with him! She’d proven quite protective of the triplets thus far, and of both him and April as well. Leo had no real understanding of this place despite its similarities to Ancient Japan of Earth, and he had less knowledge of the politics going on. What could he do?

Deep in his heart, however, Leonardo remembered the lessons his father had taught him. That there was _always_ something someone could do to help, whether it was big or small. Doing nothing was unacceptable if it was within your power to do otherwise.

But it wasn’t like Leo hadn’t done _nothing_. He’d already been helping Usagi by giving him information to use against Lord Hebi. He’d already done all he could being in the situation he was. And besides, he had his own family to care for at the moment as well. The infants, for one, wouldn’t handle the trip _anywhere_ in this weather. Risking their lives was absolutely unacceptable, and if April was found out, he knew it would put her in grave danger as well. Not many people would risk having a ‘yokai’ in their midst.

No, Leo had done all he could, now it was time to step back and let someone else save the world. Growing up had taught him the hard lesson of realizing he wasn’t Captain Ryan. He couldn’t magically pull the perfect solutions out of a hat. He and his brothers had been in the right positions to save Earth when they were younger, but that didn’t mean he had to be the hero all the time. Sometimes it was better to stand aside and let others come into their glory. It’s what Sensei had done for them, and it’s what Leo had to do now for his own children.

A chirp brought the turtle from his thoughts and he smiled down at his son, finding himself chirping back. It instantly seemed to put the boy at ease, who then snuggled closer to his bearer, trilling happily at him. Leo felt his heart melt. Bringing his son up close, he kissed the boy’s forehead, once more marveling that such a sweet little creature had come from him.

When the girls woke, it was of loud demands to be fed. April came in with bottles as Leo attempted to stem the tide of screaming by chirping and clicking at the infants. It worked a lot better than what he’d been doing before, but still wasn’t enough to get them to stop completely. But thankfully food didn’t take long, and once settled, Leo with Yoshi and Mizuki, April holding Sachi, everything settled down to only the sounds of little grunts as the infants greedily sucked down their meals.

There was a pause, the room quiet, before April turned to her friend. “You’re not considering Usagi’s offer, are you?” she asked in English, keeping her voice low.

“Of course not,” he tried not to scowl while the children were staring up at him.

April turned to look back down at Sachiko, but nodded. “Good.”

“So you agree?” he asked carefully, more relieved than he thought he would be at her words. “You don’t think I should get involved?”

“Why should you?” the human asked frankly. “You just had kids for God’s sake. You’re not the only person in the world to be able to fight when crap hits the fan.”

Offering the human a smile, the ninja’s shoulders visibly sagged. “Thanks,” he murmured.

April nodded, but eyed her friend carefully. “Why thank me?” she asked. “You weren’t seriously thinking that you actually needed to do this, were you?”

“I don’t know,” Leo huffed, frustration threatening to take over once more. “I mean, I know it’s not my problem, and I _won’t_ put the kids at risk for any reason. But…” he sighed. “I don’t know. I’ve never just… _not_ done anything, you know? And I mean, I _have_ helped by talking with Usagi before this request from the Shogun. There’s nothing more I can do…Right?”

“You’re just one person, Leonardo,” April’s blue eyes flared to life with protective fury. “You prioritizing your family doesn’t mean you’re turning your back on anyone. This whole thing with the Shogun is completely unreasonable. You don’t owe these people anything.”

It was exactly what Leo wanted to hear, and he hoped it was what he needed to hear as well. The two fell silent as they continued to feed the little ones. This quiet is what Leo decided was what was best, just being with his family. It wasn’t his fault that there was a war, that Usagi’s Shogun apparently couldn’t handle the war, or that anyone was dying. Leo had done enough. If not here, then back on Earth and out in the universe. It was time to let other people be heroes, he just wanted some peace.

**oOoOoOo**

Over the course of the next several days, Usagi was careful not to bring up the Shogun’s request too often, although his visit was already ruined because of it. April was pretty surprised that he didn’t just leave after a while. Whenever talk about the war or the Shogun was brought up, Leo usually left the room. It was one of the few times she could recall seeing him actually angry like this without it being directed in some way at Raphael. His temper was short and stressed, and he absolutely would not hear of leaving to go visit any shoguns when he still had his one month olds to care for.

Not that April disagreed with Leo’s stance, because she didn’t. In all honesty she wondered what made the samurai believe Leonardo would even entertain the idea of going, especially after just giving birth. Usagi didn’t strike her as the sort of person to be inconsiderate like this, so there must be something else pushing him. She had heard the rabbit profess desperation, and perhaps that was part of it, but if she were putting money on it, April would guess that this so-called high and mighty Shogun was driving the ronin’s actions. While Usagi claimed that the Shogun was a great man, it made the human wonder if that was true.

But soon enough, Usagi did leave, looking wholly miserable and sorry. He apologized privately to Leo, April was pretty sure, before braving the harsh winter weather. While not at all happy with the rabbit, it was clear to see that Leonardo wasn’t exactly thrilled about letting him go when it was getting so bad outside, but the samurai insisted he leave, claiming he had to get back.

And so passed another visit.

Things settled down after that, as much as they could with three infants. The Ancient One decided that it was time to pick up Leonardo’s training, thus leaving April to babysit. The Ancient One had taken Leo somewhere outside, she hadn’t been able to see, and was apparently set on continuing his ninjitsu. Why, the human wasn’t sure considering her friend was still healing, but then she’d learned not to question the old woman so much.

The triplets were all free of their little swaddle-prisons currently, and were left to learn about their small world in the sitting room. She’d managed to prop up the kids with a lot of blankets and pillows, ensuring that they wouldn’t fall backwards or forward, and gave them some soft things to play with. But ‘play’ for them right now was mostly just chewing on whatever she gave them, or trying to figure out how to hold anything. Still, while not very exciting to her, they seemed content, their big eyes taking in everything around them curiously, chirping back and forth.

They really were sweet little things, despite being completely exasperating half the time. And even only a month old, April could definitely see the resemblance between both Leo and Raph in them. Besides the obvious eye color the girls shared with their sire, there was something about all of them that when April thought about it, she could definitely tell these were Raph’s kids, too. It made her wonder how Leo was handling the similarities. While he had yet to say anything about it, she had caught him staring at one or all of them with a sad expression enough times. It just reaffirmed her resolve that if she should ever see Raphael again, she’d hit him. _Hard_. As many times as she could get away with.

But however Leonardo truly felt about things, it was crystal clear that he was glad to have the babies here. While there was still a sense of melancholy about him, there were so many brighter moments. He smiled more, cooing and clicking at the little ones, and there was quite a bit of tension that disappeared from around his shoulders. While they disturbed his sleep, these little turtles were definitely good for Leo, gave him something else to focus on other than their miserably situation and his own heartbreak.

A tiny sneeze shattered the quiet, jerking April from her thoughts. Smiling, she glanced down at Yoshi. “Goodness!” she giggled as the tiny turtle blinked up at her, his eyes crossing a bit. “Bless you.” Her only response was another sneeze.

Laughing, she knelt down to insure nothing had come out of the boy’s nose from the sneeze – babies could be very disgusting – but was satisfied after giving his face a careful wipe. The girls were staring at their brother, Sachi now attempting to flap her chubby little arms, while Zuki let out a huff, snuggling down apparently for a nap. While never claiming to be a baby expert, April thought the turtles were developing slightly faster than human infants. They were just beginning to become a little more in control of their limbs and their eyes were focusing much better than what she’d been told human infants did. It had to be because of their animal genes or their mutations, but at the same time, it made April wonder if the infants born on this planet developed at the same rate as the triplets or if they would be more similar to humans. Maybe the Ancient One would know?

Another little sneeze sounded, and this time, it apparently wasn’t as fun as the last two. Yoshi’s little face scrunched up and he began whimpering. Laughing softly, April picked him up, holding the distressed little one close. “You’re okay,” she murmured. “Just a sneeze. There’s definitely worse things in life.”

Apparently Yoshi didn’t agree as he continued to fuss.

While whiny infants weren’t the most pleasant things to deal with all the time, April cherished the moment anyway. After all, this was it. This was the closest she’d ever get to motherhood. While starting a family hadn’t really been top priority back at home, since she was still so young and still had school to finish, she had wanted one someday. But now she’d never get the chance. She was the only one of her kind on this planet, an alien. And even if miraculously one day she could find someone on this planet to love – and she wasn’t expecting to for many different reasons – she’d never be able to have kids with them. This was the closest to motherhood that she’d ever get.

Trying not to let the sadness get her down, April continued to rock Yoshi, hugging him close, as she threw herself into the moment and ignored the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Up: You might want some tissues nearby...


	34. Illness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Due to illness, Leonardo is forced to reconsider going to the palace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, sorry for the lateness. RL things happening with me, so updates will likely be slower.

What had started off as cute little sneezes soon took a horrifying turn. Yoshi was sick. And it wasn’t just the sniffles. His little boy was sick, and Leonardo was left useless, unable to help.

It didn’t seem to matter what they did, how warm they kept him, what they gave him, Yoshi didn’t get any better. A runny nose and watery eyes soon developed into a fever and rough coughs that broke Leo’s heart every single time it racked through his son’s tiny body. There was no rest for the infant, and any sleep he managed to get was a scant few minutes hard won throughout the day. It didn’t take long before the infant was drained of all energy, unable to rest or eat. Leonardo didn’t have to be a doctor to understand that if something wasn’t done soon, his son would die. And what was worse, Sachiko was beginning to catch whatever her brother had contracted.

April took Mizuki into her room when the other two showed no signs of recovering, hoping to spare the eldest triplet of the illness, but they all knew already that if the others had contracted the sickness, it was more than likely that Mizuki would display symptoms soon enough. It was only a matter of time.

It was the middle of the night and Leonardo sat up with Sachiko as she coughed and shivered through her fever. Yoshi had managed to fall sleep, but not peacefully. Listening to the little wheezes and whimpers that escaped his children left the ninja nearly mad. He couldn’t stop this. Couldn’t help them. This was a battle that they had to fight for themselves, and Leonardo was terrified at how they appeared to be losing.

Crying wouldn’t solve anything, but that’s all Leo found he was able to do as he watched his daughter’s labored breaths. Tears streaked down his cheeks as he stared into her pretty features, his own shaking rattling the tiny turtle just a bit. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Not here. Not now. Not _ever_. The home of the Ancient One was meant to be a safe haven for the aliens. The Ancient One was supposed to be able to _do_ something about this! It was bad enough that Leonardo couldn’t go home, would never see his father or brothers or sister ever again, but the thought of now losing his children…

He wouldn’t survive this. It wasn’t a question, Leo knew he wouldn’t. There was only so much heartache he could withstand without shattering completely. He’s lost his home, his family, his lover, but if he were to lose his children, it would be the end. Despite loving and caring for April so much, the turtle knew that if his children died, he’d kill himself. It wasn’t even a choice. If these little ones died before they had barely begun to live, Leo was certain he’d follow them soon into their fates.

There were plenty of times in his life where the ninja had been scared, where he’d been terrified, and yet nothing compared to this. The Kraang attacks, the Foot, the other mutants, the end of the world, it all seemed so shallow compared to the horror Leonardo felt as he continued to watch his daughter struggle for breath. He was so scared and helpless, and for an overwhelming moment, Leo wished Raphael was there with him. There wouldn’t have been anything either of them could have done to stop this, but to have Raphael near, to perhaps have his arms around him, to share the grief and misery together…

“Leo-chan?”

Not taking his eyes off his daughter, Leo continued to sway, hoping to give Sachi some amount of comfort as he listened to the Ancient One shuffle into the room. Only when an old, leather hand placed itself on his shoulder did he look up.

“You need to rest,” she admonished quietly.

“I can’t.” How could he? He would never be able to live with himself if he was asleep if either Yoshi or Sachi slipped away during the night.

The old woman frowned in concern as she stared down at the baby girl, stroking her cheek lightly. “You ought to rest. For them.”

Bitterness swelled in Leo’s heart, but glancing over at Yoshi, who continued to whimper, he turned back to his sensei. “Is there nothing you can do?” he whispered. “Isn’t there anything you have that can – can heal them?”

The Ancient One continued to stroke the girl’s cheek before sighing. “There is only one herb that I know of that might help them. But I do not have any.”

Desperate, Leo latched on to the old turtle’s arm, nearly crushing the brittle bones. “What is it? Where can we find it?”

Unbothered by the grip, the Ancient One managed to slip out of the desperate parent’s hold, before taking a step back, wandering over to Yoshi as it appeared he was coughing himself awake. “It is very rare, and there is only one place that I know would have stored it for the winter.”

“Where?”

Black eyes glimmered full of pity, even as a wry twist curved her lips. “The only place that I can say for certain that would have it would be the palace. Where the Shogun’s men reside.”

As the full weight of the statement settled, a laugh that was quick to turn into a sob broke free from the ninja as he started to cry a little bit harder. “Of course,” he managed to choke out. “Of course that’s where it would be.”

Settling his son into his arms, probably knowing he needed all the comfort he could get, the Ancient One stepped away from the family. “This herb is used for healing wounds from war as well as healing illness.”

This was turtle luck at its finest. It was as though the universe was mocking him, throwing him punch after punch with no reprieve. “Should I have gone with Usagi?” he asked out loud, doubt gnawing at his mind as he stared up at his mentor. “But they wouldn’t have survived the journey, they’re too small! A-and Yoshi was already sneezing before then, I can’t imagine he could have lasted until we arrived at the palace.”

“There is no right or wrong decision, Leo-chan,” the Ancient One denied. “Not this time. There is only the choice to do or not do.”

The rather enigmatic words did nothing to soothe the young parent as he worried over his children. In his mind, there was only two things he could do, either he could stay here and watch his children die, or attempt to go to the palace and wait for his children to die. There was no doubt in his mind that the cold would get to the little ones long before they reached the palace if he attempted to travel, but he could not bear to go himself in the event that they would perish while he was away. April could not go as she was the most alien to the planet and it was likely anyone she ran into would attack her on sight. And besides looks, even if she was hidden, she was not yet fluent enough in Japanese to venture out alone without someone.

Turning pleading blue eyes towards the old woman, desperation gnawed at his heart as he pleaded with his sensei. “Can you go to the palace?” He ignored the pathetic quiver of his lips. “Can you bring back this herb?”

The compassionate yet sad expression told the younger turtle all he needed to know. “I cannot,” she denied. “But you could make the journey.”

“I can’t bear to leave them,” he sobbed. “What if…” He wasn’t able to finish his thought out loud.

“Take them with you.”

Snapping is eyes up, Leonardo felt himself scowling. “I can’t take them out there,” he hissed. “They’d freeze long before they’d die from this illness.”

The reproach in the old turtle’s eyes might have made the ninja regret his temper, but at the moment, he couldn’t be bother to care. Instead, the two locked eyes, glaring at one another, before the old _kame_ shook her head, muttering under her breath. As she turned to leave, she motioned for him to follow.

For a moment, Leo was tempted to stay put, to care for his children, but the desperate hope that the Ancient One might have an idea as to how to heal them forced him up. Adjusting the two carefully within his arms, he trailed behind the Ancient One, ensuring that he did not jostle the poor little creatures. Sachi’s eyes grew heavy, as she began dozing, but Yoshi merely stared into space miserably, coughing.

If there was a way he could take their pain away, Leo would do it. He was becoming despairing enough that he was certain he’d kill if it was the only way to make them well. Whatever he had to do, he’d do it for them.

When they stopped, it was only then that Leonardo realized that they were in the Ancient One’s room. Despite all the time he’d been here on this planet, he’d never been allowed into the old turtle’s sanctuary. But now that he was, it was much more than he would have imagined.

Never before had Leonardo seen such a mix of ancient and futuristic. There were paintings and tapestries lining the walls that he swore had to be thousands of years old, yet soft fae lights lit the room, machines that he had never seen before humming almost silent. The room was cluttered with many treasures that would take years to shift through and even longer to organize. The amount of unique treasures tucked away here made the Lair back on Earth appear spartan.

But as he continued his amazed study, one piece of equipment in the far corner of the room caught his attention. It was a large, person-sized tube, half covered in an old blanket. The metal was dull and tarnished, but didn’t appear to be rusting from what he could see. Stepping deeper into the room, drawn to the large tube, Leo was about to ask about it when his eyes caught sight of the control panel on the side. Recognition shot down his spine like lightning, and with it a surge of fury.

“You have a transporter?!” he snarled, voice quivering with his rage.

When the old turtle said nothing, merely stared up at him with guilt in her eyes, Leonardo took a step away from her. Betrayal set in, as icy as the winter winds howling outside. He felt sick, unable to breathe. All this time, _all this time_ she’d had a transporter. They could have gone home!

“Why?” he choked, battling with the ire he felt threating to poison him. “All this time…We could have gone _home_!” he snarled.

“No,” the old turtle denied.

“All this time!” Leo continued to rage, not hearing his sensei. “We’ve been stuck here on this Godforsaken planet when we could’ve gone _home!_ ” Furious tears began streaming down he face as he glared hatefully at the old turtle. “All this time we’ve _wasted_! Trying to connect to the universe – we could’ve just gone home!”

“You are upsetting the little ones.”

At the quiet admonishment, the ninja managed to swallow the worst of his anger, but still could not free himself of the revulsion he felt for the other _kame_. “Why?” he pressed, lowing his voice once more. “Why wouldn’t you tell us, why keep us here?”

Sighing heavily, the old turtle went and sat in one of the old armchairs near the futon. “I do not keep you here,” she denied. “This ‘transporter’ as you call it, it does not work. Or at least not long distances. The last I saw life in it was many months ago.”

Clutching Yoshi and Sachiko closer to him for comfort, Leonardo turned his glare away from the old woman and towards the transporter. Not all that used to letting his temper get the better of him, it took a few minutes for Leo to calm down enough to think clearly. “So it’s useless,” he murmured sadly.

“No,” once more the Ancient One denied. “It may not be able to get you back home, to your planet, but it can take you to other places. Closer.”

Not understanding at first, Leo was about to ask what good it would be to them, when his eyes lit up. “The palace! It can take us to the palace?”

“Not directly there, but close,” the Ancient One nodded. “The people here, they have never seen such technology, they do not understand. If you were to use this, you would still have to trek at least a mile or so to your destination.”

Turning back to the transporter, Leo carefully handed his children over to the old woman before inspecting the machine. Pulling back the cover showed that it was indeed old. It looked…well, _ancient_ when compared to the simple transporter pads of Professor Honeycutt, but the panel still glowed ever so slightly. It had surely seen better days, but if it still worked…

“Can you set it up? Make it take us as close to the palace as possible?” he asked.

“I could,” the Ancient One nodded, looking down at the infants rather than the confused face of her student.

“Will you?” he pressed. “We could go there now, get help for Yoshi and Sachi.”

Black eyes held a firmness to them that surprised the younger turtle as she quite suddenly stared into his soul. “If I send you, you cannot return in the same manner. And if you go, you know you will be at the mercy of the Shogun.” Leo felt himself shiver. “Once he meets with you, he will be reluctant to let you leave. If you go, you will be going down a path that cannot be undone. Your fate will be sealed.”

The ominous fortune left Leonardo spooked, but he had already made up his mind. There was nothing in this world or any other that he wouldn’t do for his children. Whatever it took to make them well, he would do it. Consequences be damned.

“I need to get them to the palace,” Leonardo said firmly. “I don’t care what happens after, just as long as they live.”

Something akin to disappointment, yet admiration warred within the ancient black orbs as the old turtle nodded her head with a solemnness that frightened the ninja. “So be it. Go. Prepare yourself. Take whatever you can with you. Wake April-san to be ready. The cover of night will be best.”

Nodding, anxious over what he was about to do, yet still set to go, Leo exited the room and turned first to April’s room. He was a little surprised when he slid open the door and found his friend sitting up with Mizuki. When blue eyes stared up at him, the worry he saw there already told him what he’d feared for so long.

“Pack up everything,” he told her, determination hardening his voice. “We’re leaving.”

The human blinked in surprise. “What?”

“We’re leaving,” Leo repeated, even as he came to take Mizuki from the human. “The Ancient One has a short-range transporter that can take us to the palace. They should have the herbs we need to make the triplets well.”

To her credit, despite all the sudden information thrown at her, April didn’t complain. Instead, she only nodded as she stood and began packing up what little possessions she’d accumulated on this world. Leo turned and went to his own room, Zuki cradled in his arm, as he went to do the same. The eldest triplet was beginning to run a fever, which only spurred Leonardo faster. This was what had to be done. There was no other option.

After packing all the spare clothes the Ancient One had made for them, as well as whatever the children needed, both aliens came out of their rooms to find that the Ancient One had made up a pack of food for them all. Without a word, she gestured to them to follow, and together they went into her room, where Yoshi and Sachi were laid out on the futon.

The three adults bundled up the infants tightly for their hopefully brief trek in the cold, before the Ancient One nodded towards the pod. “In,” she ordered, even as she pulled a mask over April’s head.

“Uh…shouldn’t we go one at a time?” the human murmured as she eyed the slender tube doubtfully.

“No. In.”

The two Terrans shared a look before shuffling into the pod. It was a tight fit to get the both of them in without smushing the triplets, but somehow they managed. And while the Ancient One worked the controls, she spared a glance at the two aliens that had been her wards.

“You are all always welcome here,” she began, “but we will not see one another for some time. You are both set on a course that cannot be altered. I wish you well.”

And before either Terran could speak, they found themselves being transported away, the oddly cold sensations of the transporter soon replaced by the freezing wind of the night. It took the pair a moment to orient themselves, and it was only then, as he cuddled Mizuki and Sachiko close, that Leo realized he wasn’t sure which way to go. There had been no talk of direction or maps.

But before panic could set in, a familiar voice came to them over the wind, “Leonardo-san? April-san?”

Turning, the pair saw the familiar shape of Usagi, almost completely camouflaged in the storm, his white fur hiding him as well as the snow that clung to his clothes. “Usagi-san!” Leo couldn’t help the profound relief he felt surge through him at the sight of the rabbit.

The alarm on the rabbit’s face as he continued to wade his way towards them was evident. “What are you doing here?” the ronin asked, eyes scanning down at the children.

“The children are sick,” Leo didn’t waste time on explanation. “They need help. Please.”

The samurai’s face hardened, as he nodded solemnly. “This way. The palace is not far. Hurry.”

And together the small party made their way towards the palace. There were no questions asked, just Usagi quickly coming up with a cover story for the two aliens to memorize. In only fifteen minutes or so, the palace began to loom in the distance, urging the weary wanderers on.


	35. The Palace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo and April make it to the palace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***Edit! I realized I posed this chapter to the wrong story for some reason before. I blame severe lack of sleep...sorry if it confused anyone before!

It was several hours before the sun rose that the small party made it to the palace, and despite the tenseness of getting through the guard watch, Usagi had enough authority to bully his way through quickly. Without slowing their frantic pace, they headed straight for the infirmary. Anyone that would attempt to get in their way, Leonardo sent a fierce scowl, snarling at those who would delay them.

By the time they entered the healing chambers, Usagi was already calling for help. It took a few moments, but as Leo and April set about unwrapping the infants from the cold, damp wraps that had served to protect them outside, getting them near the fire, a sleepy deer appeared. The doe was tightening the sash on her hastily thrown on robe, eyes wide as she took in the scene of the weary travelers. When she heard the weak protests of an infant – Mizuki, who was the strongest of the three – the deer appeared more flustered than before.

“They’re sick,” Leo explained without preamble, drawing the healer’s gaze. “Please…”

Dark eyes wide, the healer rushed to Leonardo, not even sparing the strangely masked April a glance as she peeled back the blanket of Yoshi, frowning in concentration. What she saw caused her frown to deepen, grimness stealing over her features. “Sit them by the fire. I shall return,” she muttered, racing out without looking back.

Not having to be told twice, Leo was quick to strip of his own soaking cloak before taking Yoshi and Sachi from April, who in turn struggled quickly out of her wraps, Usagi holding Mizuki. Once they were settled, they cradled the infants close to the heat, cooing quietly and trying not to panic. Usagi took his time stripping from his weather gear before taking their packs and arranging them so that they were out of the way. Leo didn’t really notice or much care about what happened to the bags, too intent on watching over his children.

By the time the rabbit had taken care of their little group, the healer had returned, mortar and pestle already hard at work in her hands. While her eyes darted around this way and that, she was calm and collected, no doubt running through everything she would need and plotting her next step. When she came to the group by the fire, she knelt down beside the two adults and carefully held her created mix to Yoshi first. Only glancing up at Leo briefly, their eyes locking as the turtle gave a silent nod of consent, she spooned a rather large amount of the greenish paste into the infant’s mouth. Yoshi squirmed against it for a second, face scrunching up in distaste, but he didn’t have the energy to struggle away or do much else. When she knew the baby wouldn’t spit it out, the doe went on to Sachi, and then finally Zuki.

Leo watched the healer like a hawk, taking in everything she was doing. “You must change them, get them into new, warmer clothes,” she advised, turning to set the medicine aside.

Usagi was quick to bring Leo’s pack over, and April was fast as she pulled out fresh clothes for the triplets. The human stripped Mizuki with practiced ease before wrapping her up in a new outfit and swaddle. Leo traded Sachi for Zuki, allowing April to repeat the process, until it was Yoshi’s turn. The healer watched quietly, before asking to be allowed to see Yoshi. Knowing this female was the best bet of his children’s survival, Leo agreed.

Checkups were given to all three little ones and the healer scurried this way and that, giving different herbs and using different instruments to assess the little ones’ health. The sun was rising by the time everything was settled, and the small family was allowed to rest in the infirmary. The infants had passed out rather spectacularly, the entire night’s ordeal too much for them, and April and Leo were leaning against one another, keeping watch over the children. Usagi was flittering back and forth, speaking in hushed voices to guards and others that passed by who were obviously wondering what was going on.

The Terrans were themselves starting to feel drowsy when the healer came to them again. The doe, now dressed a little more modestly, gave a slight smile as she set down a tray of tea and some cakes. Dull eyed, Leo stared at the offering for a few moments, before it registered in his exhausted brain that he should thank her. But before he could, the deer nodded to April. “Are you wounded?” she asked quietly, sympathetically. “I could look at any scarring, also.”

April was quick to shake her head. “Fine,” the human murmured from behind her mask.

“There’s nothing you can do for it,” Leonardo added, offering just the slightest smile to the healer, while bowing his head low in thanks and respect. “Thank you for all that you’ve done.”

The deer frowned slightly, but accepted what she was told. “They will need more medicine in several hours and be fed before that. If we are lucky, if they are not too far…along in the illness,” she backtracked, Leo having to look away, not wanting to dwell on the possibility of death, “we ought to see some signs of improvement soon.”

“Thank you. Truly,” Leo bowed as best as he could, April following suit. “Your skill and kindness means so much to us.”

The doe smiled warmly at the turtle, patting his shoulder. “A dedicated father,” she commended, before standing to leave the tired group to themselves. And as he watched the healer go, even though things were still bleak, Leo felt hope for the first time in too many days as he turned back to watching his daughters rest in his arms.

**oOoOoOo**

It didn’t take long for news to travel throughout the palace of Usagi-san’s arrival, and with him, a strange pair that carried infants. Of course Masaru had been informed the moment he’d woken that his faithful ronin had returned and had apparently convinced his informant to come as well. It pleased the shogun, but the news that the group had immediately gone to the infirmary had been cause for alarm.

It was still quite early in the morning, and when the macaque came to the healing chambers, he was met with the sight of two figures fast asleep by the fire, blanks thrown over them, while there were small baskets nearby. Even from where he stood, Masaru could make out the distinct shell of a _kame_ and what appeared to be a female primate of some sort, but her face was obscure. It was surprising to see a _kame_ so far from the coasts, and it instantly peeked the shogun’s curiosity.

“Shogun-sama.”

Usagi-san appeared in front of him, the rabbit worn and weary, but still standing. The journey had been hard on him.

“Usagi-san. I welcome you back.” Dark eyes sliding back towards the sleeping pair by the fire. He nodded towards them. “Care to explain what is happening?”

“Of course,” the rabbit replied without hesitation. “That is Hamato-san,” he nodded towards the turtle. “He is the one you wished to meet.”

“I see.” While strange seeing a turtle, it was fitting somehow. _Kame_ had always been revered for their knowledge and spirituality. It should not have been so surprising to find that the great source of information and wisdom came in the form of a turtle. But the age – even from this distance, Marasu could tell the _kame_ was young. Much younger than even Usagi-san. “The other?”

The rabbit hesitated for only a split second, but it was enough for the shogun to take note. “That is April-san, Hamato-san’s companion…I do not know how she came to be in his company.”

There was no lie in the ronin’s stance, but there was also something not quite truthful about the statement. Interesting. Usagi-san never lied to him. “I see. And why do they stay in the infirmary? There were rooms prepared for our guests.”

“It is…complicated, Sama,” the samurai sighed. The younger male looked over his shoulder once before continuing, pity radiating from his entire being. “Hamato-san has recently become a parent,” he explained, much to the shogun’s surprise. “But his mate…his mate is gone, and Hamato-san is now having to bear the responsibilities of childrearing alone. Or at least, he and his companion.”

Masaru turned to stare at the young turtle a little more closely, and at the baskets. “There are three?”

“ _Hai_. They are quite young. It is partly why I feared Hamato-san would not return with me originally.”

“Yet he has come,” the shogun observed, frowning in contemplation. “Why?”

“The little ones have fallen ill,” Usagi-san explained sadly. “Gravely ill. The only place that had the medicine they needed was the palace.”

“I see.”

Another surprise. So this wisdom-giver was not only young, but a new widower with hatchlings. Sickly hatchlings. It didn’t quite surprise the shogun. Multiples for any species was rare, and having three meant that these little ones would come out weaker, perhaps less developed. And to hear that he was now alone, his mate obviously not having survived the strain of birth was simply tragic. Made even worse now that the infants were slowly fading away.

But even as he stared at the young man by the fire, the shogun realized that things weren’t lining up. At least not with what he’d been told before from his samurai, nor the clues he’d gathered himself by what was not said. There was something not right about the small group and Usagi-san’s reaction to them.

Putting aside his curiosity, the shogun placed a hand on the rabbit’s shoulder, drawing his attention back to the macaque. “When they wake, show them to the guest quarters,” he ordered. “Tomorrow I shall speak with them.”

“ _Hai_ , Sama.”

Eyes narrowing, Masaru made sure to lighten his expression as he smiled at his samurai. “I would like to speak with you later today as well. Once you’ve rested. We have much to discuss.”

Once more, the rabbit nodded. And with only one more glance at Hamato-san and his strange companion, the shogun turned and walked out, leaving the weary newly arrived to recover. Soon enough he’d have all the details he desired. He could be patient for a little longer.

**oOoOoOo**

It had been nice to sleep more than an hour or two at a time, but nevertheless, when April woke up, she felt like crap. The days of stress and not sleeping had really caught up with her. She couldn’t remember feeling this terrible after finally getting some sleep. It’d been a while. Not since a finials week, but this had been worse. Much worse.

Sitting up, cheek aching slightly from laying oddly on the mask still firmly attached to her face and head pounding, the human looked around. She was still on the floor near the fire in the infirmary. Rolling her neck to work out the kinks, she sighed, before turning to find Leo already awake and caring for the triplets. It didn’t surprise her, but she wondered if he’d managed to get any rest.

The healer from earlier, the doe, came over when she noticed that they were both awake, and brought over another tray of tea, as well as bottles for the babies. April smiled at the deer, hoping to convey her gratitude, only to remember it couldn’t be seen behind the mask. Instead, she made sure to murmur her thanks.

More of the greenish paste medicine was handed to Leonardo, who watched the healer as she showed him the proper amount and how to give it to the little ones without them immediately spitting it back out. Like everything else, Leo took the lesson to heart and was dedicated in administering the potential life-saving medicine to his children.

Of the triplets, Mizuki was the most active, having only recently contracted the illness, and she was also the most demanding of food. April took the eldest after she sucked down the medicine, and took up a bottle to feed her. Sachi was squirming slightly, but Yoshi remained unconscious. It was disquieting.

After getting settled with the eldest, who greedily took her bottle, the human watched as Leo attempted to coax Sachi to take one. The healer held Yoshi, giving him another exam. The three were quiet, each focused on the infant in their arms, before the doe broke the worried silence. “They are beautiful,” she complimented gently. “I have never seen such vivid eyes.”

Where once April might have panicked at this being called out, she only felt tired and didn’t react when Leo was quick to come up with an answer. “They are quite common where we’re from,” he murmured dully.

“All the same,” the doe smiled as Mizuki stared over at her. “They are lovely.”

Stone faced, it took April by surprise when Leonardo admitted quietly. “They’re my mate’s eyes.”

Obviously sensing the melancholy that still hung around the turtle when Raphael was referenced, either directly or indirectly, the deer turned her head away, apparently having heard Usagi’s story about how Leonardo was a ‘widower’. It wasn’t that far from the truth. Especially with how hard Leo had taken Raph’s leaving. Honestly, April wasn’t sure what would have been worse for her friend, if Raph had simply died or the truth, him leaving with no chance of ever seeing him again.

There was an awkwardness that settled over the group, and April knew it was up to her to soothe things over. Leo had enough on his mind. “What is your name?” she asked as politely as she could.

“Oh! I am Mai. _Yoroshiku,_ ” the doe inclined her head. “And you?”

“I am April,” she bowed. Eyeing Leo, she found him still focused on Zuki, so decided to continue as best as she could. “This is Hamato-san.”

The healer nodded her acceptance, probably still marveling at the strangeness of the pair, but going along with what she was being told. It was a relief, especially since April was still finding it difficult to grasp the finer points of Japanese and Leo was still tired enough that he wasn’t really keeping up with the conversation to help cover any faux pa she might commit. As it was, both females seemed content to leave things as they were.

They were just settling into a silence that was a mix between companionable and awkward, when the doors to the healing chambers opened announcing Usagi’s return, and along with him, a female cat. The feline appeared young, a mess of black hair twisted up and back away from her face. While April wasn’t the best at determining age for anthropomorphic animals, she would bet that the cat was only around fourteen or fifteen years old – if the inhabitance aged the same as humans did on Earth. Like everyone they’d met thus far, her eyes were dark, and she was dressed traditionally, if humbling. A servant of the palace?

“Leonardo-san,” Usagi called, pulling the turtle from his concentration. “April-san,” he nodded towards the human already focused on him. “Please, allow me to introduce you to Tomoe Ame-san. She is a personal servant to Lord Noriyuki. She has been assigned to help you with the children during your stay here.”

As the feline bowed, obviously nervous, Leo wasn’t afraid to shoot the girl a distrustful glare. It had always been difficult for the ninja leader to trust others with those of their group, but still. April thought in this case her friend was being a little extreme. The poor girl was a servant to the heir-apparent. They’d obviously done their screening to ensure she was trustworthy.

“Hamato-san,” Tomoe Ame bowed low to the turtle in respect and reverence, before turning to the human. “April-san.”

Still scrutinizing the feline, Leo didn’t so much as nod, which April found a little rude, but the turtle was still exhausted, still reeling after the last trying, horrifying week of hell. Maybe his brain was just lagging?

Sensing the tension, Usagi turned towards the healer. “With your permission, Mai-san, Tomoe Ame-san and I would see our guests to their quarters for their stay.”

“I’m not leaving the infants here alone,” Leonardo spoke up for the first time, voice hard as steel as he clutched Sachi close to his chest.

The doe, becoming quite uncomfortable, not having seen this fierce side of the turtle before, was quick to diffuse the situation. “There is not much else I can do for the little ones here. You may take them to your quarters,” she spoke directly to Leo. “Keep them warm, mind what I have told you, and I shall be sure to stop by whenever medication is required.”

With that settled, at last Leo nodded and carefully began to stand, braced by the healer. April rose as well, being sure to snag Mizuki’s basket cradle as she did so. Tomoe Ame went to pick up Yoshi who had been placed back within his little basket, when Leonardo once again shot the girl with a heated glare. “Be careful,” he warned, steely, causing the poor cat to tremble slightly.

“ _H-hai_ , Hamato-san,” she replied quietly, gently scooping up the basket with the middle child. Usagi went to grab their bags.

After Leo whispered some last minute questions to the healer, April glanced at the rabbit, trying to determine if there was something they should be worried about, especially since Leo was so tense. But in all appearances, the rabbit was calm and collected. Made sense, considering they were on his turf now. But still. If Usagi wasn’t worried, April supposed the turtle was just being paranoid.

And once Leo was ready, the group made their way through the palace and towards what the human supposed were the sleeping chambers. It was fascinating, the structure and architecture, like something out of a history book and a fairytale all in one. There were servants scurrying around, some others who April suspected were samurai watching the group curiously. But for all his composure, Leonardo made sure to glare at each and every one of them. Maybe it was just because she’d grown up a bit with him that she didn’t find him all that intimidating, but the human found it interesting how the others were quick to look away from the ninja, some even turning and rushing back the way they’d come. Whatever it was about Leo, be it his leader glare or mamma-bear instincts blazing to life, April found it interesting.

And as they finally made it to the rooms they would be staying in, April hoped that their luck thus far would continue to hold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yoroshiku – Please be nice to me (added to formal introductions…or so I’ve been told...)

**Author's Note:**

> So...this is probably not how you thought the next story would start, but so everyone knows, this is story 2 of the 4 currently in the works. So please be patient with me, I think you'll enjoy the ride. :)


End file.
